Chapter 2.3: Comrade Consultation

Waluigi stepped out of the mushroom house. He pulled out his Thieftech and flipped it open. "Okay. Now, what's Waluigi supposed to be doing?"

Alboort adjusted his glasses. "Well, before I can go in and mess with their guard schedule, I'm going to need someone to go inside and scope out the interior."

Waluigi's jaw hung a little loose. "Okay. Now, how is Waluigi supposed to do that? He's not a common guest in this area. Well, sure, Waluigi and Peach once rode as partners in a Mario Kart Double Dash tournament once, but it's not like one of those is coming up next weekend or something."

Alboort leaned forward. "Press the (-) button to access your gadget menu. I've added a new item that should help you out."

Waluigi fished around in his pack before pulling out a strange white and purple cloth. He blinked a couple times. "Wait a minute. You're not telling Waluigi to actually walk around in a Toad costume, are you?"

"Well, it's the only way we can get anyone into the castle without suspicion." Alboort tapped a couple times on his keyboard. "Toads aren't exactly stupid, but they tend to be naive and very trusting of others. I doubt that they'll stop a Toad they haven't seen before."

Waluigi gestured at the cloth suit. "But how is Waluigi supposed to fit in the costume? He's about seven feet tall, and Toads are usually only about two feet tall."

"Don't worry. I've made this suit special so you can both fit comfortably in the suit and look like a real Toad." Alboort adjusted his glasses. "Now put the costume on. We'll need to hurry with this if we're to keep on our own schedule."
Waluigi scowled at the costume, but he started sticking his leg into the pants. In little more than a minute, a Toad with dark purple spots stood where Waluigi had been. "Hey, Waluigi doesn't look half bad as a Toad."

"That's another thing, Waluigi. You need to quit referring to yourself in the third person."
"What?" Toad Waluigi shook his Thieftech. "But Waluigi always refers to himself in the third person. He is number one, after all."
Alboort sighed. "Well, you're going to have to think of another name, at least. Your own name would give you away in a heartbeat."

Toad Waluigi grinned. "Well, Waluigi does have a unique name. However, he's sure he can think of something."

Alboort tapped a couple keys and stared at his computer. "Okay. You'll want to get moving, now. I'll tell you the rest of the mission once you're inside."

"Okay. Waluigi's heading out now."

"Oh, one more thing." Alboort clicked his mouse a couple times. "Even though the Toads shouldn't give you any trouble, I'm afraid you can't attack, triple jump, or use most of your thieving skills while in this costume."

Toad Waluigi's eyes grew wide. "What!!! How's Waluigi supposed to get into the castle?!"

Alboort pulled himself back into his chair. "Well, you're a Toad, now, so you can just walk through the front doors. And you can still interact with some things through use of the C button."

Toad Waluigi scowled. "Fine. Waluigi's headed in now."

Alboort nodded. "Just remember to come up with a new name before you get into the castle."

"Yeah. Yeah. Whatever." Toad Waluigi flipped his Thieftech shut and stuck it in his vest pocket. He started walking towards the castle.

A few minutes later, Toad Waluigi walked up to the front door of Peach's Castle.

Two Red Toads crossed their spears in front of the doors.

Toad Waluigi jumped back. "What's the big idea?"

"Who are you?" asked the Toad to the left. "I haven't seen you before."

The Toad to the right nodded. "It's nothing personal, but we have to keep security tight for now."

Waluigi opened his mouth and stopped. Alboort said Waluigi should use a different name than Waluigi. Should Waluigi use a name like Toad, a guard number, or a creative name? He scratched his chin for a minute.

The Red Toad to the left glared at Toad Waluigi. "What's wrong with you? Who are you?"

Waluigi flinched. A creative name would probably do Waluigi the best. "Igiulaw is Igiulaw. He's new here."

"Igiulaw, huh?" The Red Toad to the left turned to his partner. "That sounds like a strange name. I've never heard anything like that before."

The Red Toad to the right scratched his chin. "Maybe he's from one of the southern kingdoms. It would explain his darker coloration."

Toad Waluigi's eyes glinted. "Yeah. Igiulaw came here to see Princess Peach."

The Red Toad to the left huffed. "Annoying southerners! They must have sent him to try to show us up."

The Red Toad to the right shook his head. "Oh, come on. You know the Toads from the southern kingdoms are peaceful. He'd more likely get every guard in this place to start a conga line than actually take a guard position." He pushed the other one to his side and opened the doors. "Don't mind him, Igiulaw. Ted's not a morning person." He chuckled. "Even if it's this late in the morning."

Toad Waluigi walked through the doors. "Thanks, uh..."

The cheery Red Toad laughed. "Name's Tony. I'll see around, Igiulaw."

Toad Waluigi nodded and walked through, the doors shutting behind him. His pulled out his vibrating Thieftech. "What's up, Alboort?"

Alboort shook his head. "For someone as clever as you, I can't believe how uncreative you are. Honestly! Igiulaw is just Waluigi backwards!"

Toad Waluigi waved the comment off. "Hey, it got Waluigi into the castle, right?"

Alboort palmed his face. "I suppose. We're just really lucky that Toads are as trusting as they are."

Toad Waluigi laughed. "Okay, now that Waluigi is inside, what's he supposed to do now?"

Alboort looked up. "Oh, right." Alboort tapped a couple times on his keyboard. "Well, due to high security, the Toad guards for Peach's door have been given a specific pass code that includes five words. Each word has been given to each color of Toad, so that even if an enemy were to use a costume to get inside, they'd need to get all the words and say them in correct order."

Toad Waluigi raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound too hard to Waluigi."

"Yes, well, Goombas and Koopas aren't the most patient of creatures." Alboort clicked a couple times on his mouse. "And Igiulaw needs to talk to all those Toads and get the passwords. I want you to call me as soon as you get all the passwords, so I can tell you how to use them."

Toad Waluigi nodded. "Okay. Waluigi... uh... Igiulaw will get started now."

"I suggest you start with a Purple Toad." Alboort adjusted his glasses. "They are more likely to trust you than the other colors."

"Whatever. Igiulaw will talk to you later." Toad Waluigi flipped his Thieftech shut and placed it in his vest. He looked around and started walking down one direction.

It was several minutes before Toad Waluigi saw another Toad. To his surprise, it was a Purple Toad. Sure, it's coloration was rather lighter than Toad Waluigi's, but it was a purple nonetheless.

Toad Waluigi walked up to the Purple Toad. "Hey there."

The Purple Toad jumped, holding his spear out. "Halt! Who goes there?"

Toad Waluigi held his hands defensively. "Hey, calm down. Igiulaw is just Igiulaw."

The Purple Toad opened one of his eyes. He lowered his spear and sighed in relief. "Don't scare me like that! It's enough that I have to be stuck here, waiting for Bowser, when I should be running around. I don't need people surprising me."

Toad Waluigi rubbed the back of his cap. "Sorry about that. Igiulaw is new around here."

The Purple Toad grinned. "Oh yeah. I know what that's like." He looked down both ways and lowered his voice. "Truth be told, though, this is probably the worst time to get recruited." He rubbed his temples. "I don't even know why they stuck me in the hallways. My running skills are best out in open areas."

Toad Waluigi laughed. "Well, Igiulaw isn't exactly a new guard. He just came up from a southern kingdom and really needs to talk to the Princess Peach."

"Oh, is that all?" The Purple Toad relaxed and laughed back. "Well, I guess you're going to need the passwords then. Well, we Purple Toads were entrusted with the final word. Everything!"

Toad Waluigi raised an eyebrow. "Everything? Igiulaw doesn't know if he can remember all that makes up everything."

"No no no no no no. The word 'everything'." The Purple Toad rubbed the back of his head. "I guess it is a weird password. Listen, you're going to need the other four words, if you want to talk to the princess. I'd try a Yellow Toad, next. They don't think much about whether talking to strangers is dangerous or not. I think one should be in the kitchen."

Toad Waluigi nodded. "Thanks. Igiulaw will go there." He started walking, but soon stopped. "Where is the kitchen, anyways?"
"Oh, it should be the third or fourth door on the right from here." The Purple Toad turned around. "Well, I'm off." He started running down the hall.

Toad Waluigi walked down the hall, counting the doors. At his third door, he turned to it and opened the door. "Hello, anybody in here?"

The room Toad Waluigi had walked into had several large tables sitting in the middle of it. A large soup pot was sitting over a fire inside a chimney in one corner. A Yellow Toad was sitting on one of the tables, his head drooping slightly.

Toad Waluigi walked up to the table with the Yellow Toad. "Hey, buddy. You awake?"

The Yellow Toad stirred slightly, He rubbed his eyes and looked at Toad Waluigi. He blinked a couple times and yawned. "Do I know you?"

Toad Waluigi jumped up on a chair. "It's not likely. Igiulaw got here only a while ago."

The Yellow Toad laid down on the table. "Oh." He turned around until he was facing Toad Waluigi. "So, what are you doing in the kitchen? I know I was told to guard lunch, but I don't remember anybody else being scheduled to be down here."

"Well, Igiulaw needs to talk to Princess Peach." Toad Waluigi pointed at the Yellow Toad. "And Igiulaw was told you knew one of the passwords."

The Yellow Toad yawned. "Oh, is that all." He sat up again. "Well, I don't understand the password, myself. But maybe it will make sense to you." He smacked his lips a couple times and scratched his cap. "It's 'beats'. Whatever that means."

"Beats?" Toad Waluigi paused to take in the word. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I may not be the most active Toad, but I never forget a thing." He laid down on his back and waved his hand at Toad Waluigi. "Now, get going. I'm on guard duty."

Toad Waluigi hopped off his chair and walked of the kitchen. "Let's see here. 'Beats' and 'everything', huh? Well, Waluigi knows that 'everything' is last, but where does the 'beats' go?" He stopped at the bottom of a stairway. "Well, Waluigi is going to go upstairs." He jumped up on the first step and continued on that way.

As Toad Waluigi reached the top of the stairs, he found himself at spearpoint. He jumped back. "Hey! Watch where you're pointing that thing!"

The spear withdrew, and the Blue Toad holding it adjusted his glasses. "My apologies, good sir. I'm afraid my reflexive reactions may not be their most rational at this point. Waiting for Bowser to preform his abduction of the princess always puts me on edge."

Toad Waluigi eyed the Blue Toad warily. "Uh, hi. Igiulaw is Igiulaw."

The Blue Toad held out his hand. "Salutations, Mr. Igiulaw. My name is Gary. May I ask what your business is here?"

Toad Waluigi hopped up stairs until he was on the same floor as Gary. "Okay, Gary, Igiulaw just came up from a southern kingdom, and he really needs to talk to the Princess Peach."

"Interesting." Gary held his chin in thought. "Then I suppose you'll need the five passwords to get into the princess's room." He stared at Toad Waluigi for a moment. "Well, I suppose I should test you to know if you can be trusted with the Blue Toads' password." He rubbed his chin. "Do you have any of the other passwords?"

"Well, Igiulaw did get the passwords from a Purple Toad and a Yellow Toad." Toad Waluigi scratched his head and smiled wryly. "So does that mean Igiulaw can be trusted."

Gary tapped his chin. "Well, I can't say that those two have the best judgment." He pushed his glasses further up. "But it's not like we Blue Toads received a very difficult password. I mean, 'at'? How can that qualify as a password? It's only two letters long."

Toad Waluigi shrugged. "Who knows, but thanks anyway."

Gary nodded. "If you need to get the Red Toads' password, you need to go up another floor." He chuckled. "From all their attitude, you would think they'd take the front line. Instead, they try to get as far away from the fight as possible." He turned and started walking away. "I'll see you around."

"Bye-bye." Toad Waluigi walked down the hallway. "Now, where are those stairs?" He chuckled to himself. "Man, Waluigi can't believe that he can trick these Toads so easily." He stopped when he heard something around the corner.

Another Blue Toad walked around the corner. He turned to see Toad Waluigi. "Hey, how's it going." He paused. "Oh, wait. What's your security clearance?"

Toad Waluigi jumped. "Um, well, Igiulaw has received three of the five passwords."

The Blue Toad raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? What's the Blue Toads' Password?"

Hmm. This guy isn't going to let Waluigi through until he hears that password. Toad Waluigi held his chin. Let's see. Waluigi knows three passwords, but what was the password that Gary guy told Waluigi? Was it 'at', 'everything', or 'beats'?

The Blue Toad took a firm grip on his spear. "Well?"

Toad Waluigi held his hands up. "Hold on a minute! Igiulaw is thinking!" Okay, 'everything' is supposed to be last, though Waluigi distinctly remembers hearing it first. Waluigi also remembers that that Gary guy said the Blue Toads' wasn't very difficult. "It's 'at', right?"

The Blue Toad relaxed and lowered his spear. "Okay. Sorry about having to quiz you. You just can't be too careful." He turned and started walking down the wall. "Don't mind me." He scurried off.

Toad Waluigi started walking down the other way. "Now, where's that staircase?" It took him a moment, but he soon found the stairs and started hopping up them.

Toad Waluigi was soon on the third floor. He looked around before walking down the hall. Soon, he saw a Red Toad walking towards him. "Hey, Red Toad."

The Red Toad jumped, flipping his spear into an offensive position. "Hold on! Stay you are! Backup! Backup!"

Toad Waluigi jumped. "Wait! Igiulaw is just a visitor from the south. He needs to talk to Princess Peach."

The Red Toad, shakily, stepped towards Toad Waluigi. "Okay. Why do you need to talk to the princess?"

"Um, well, why does Igiulaw need to talk to Princess?" Waluigi needs to figure this out before he can get past this Toad. Should Waluigi say that he needs to ask a favor? Maybe he should try avoiding the question all together? Or maybe Waluigi should say he wants a job?

Toad Waluigi looked at the Red Toad. Well, it's not likely that guy is going to believe Waluigi came up here just for a favor, especially since Waluigi is here by himself.

The Red Toad held his spear a little higher. "Why are you here? Tell me!"

And avoiding the question is out of the question. Toad Waluigi took a hold of his chin. The job might not be a bad idea. Those Red Toads at the front door did suggest something about Waluigi becoming a guard. He held his hand up to the Red Toad. "Igiulaw was just coming to see about getting a guard job. Everybody here seems to be going nuts about this Bowser thing."

The Red Toad lowered his spear and wiped his brow. "Oh, is that all? And you're right. Things are getting crazy around here. But if you want to get into the princess's room, you're going to need the Red Toads' password: Mario!"

"Mario?"

The Red Toad nodded. "He's the best." He held his spear up. "By the way, how much of the passcode do you have?"

Toad Waluigi held up four fingers. "Four words. The passwords from the Red, Blue, Yellow, and Purple Toads."

The Red Toad smiled. "Well, I guess that you only need the Green Toads' password." He frowned and furrowed his brow. "Unfortunately, most of the Green Toads work on the outside." He brightened and jumped up and down. "But there should be one on the fourth floor. He's more interested in his music than his guard duties, though, so you should get his password easily." He turned around. "Come on. I'll show you to the next set of stairs."

The two Toads walked until they reached a set of ascending stairs.

The Red Toad turned to Toad Waluigi. "It should be smooth sailing from here. Just tell anybody you meet that Jerry sent you up."

Toad Waluigi nodded. "See you around."

Jerry waved after Toad Waluigi. "Maybe I'll see you on guard duty some time."

Toad Waluigi just continued up the stairs. As soon as he was on the fourth floor, he looked around. He started walking down the hall. After making a full round, he started walking the other way.

After Toad Waluigi finished his couterclockwise round, he stopped and scratched his head. "Waluigi doesn't get it. That Jerry guy said there should be a Green Toad up here, but Waluigi hasn't seen anyone up here." He sighed and pulled out his Thieftech. "Maybe Alboort will kn-"

Toad Waluigi fell backwards as the stone tile he had been standing on rose up.

A Green Toad popped his head out of the new hole. "Whew! I can't believe how hard it was to dig up through a wall for four stories."

Toad Waluigi rubbed his cap as he sat up. "Ow. What happened?"

The Green Toad jumped and turned around. "Who are you?"

Toad Waluigi stood up and brushed himself off. "Igiulaw is Igiulaw."

"Igiulaw? Sounds southern." The Green Toad held out his hand. "My name's Jack."

Toad Waluigi shook Jack's hand. "Say, Igiulaw did come up from the south, and he really needs to talk to Princess Peach."

Jack smiled. "And you need the Green Toads' password to get in there. Right?" He looked over at the hole in the floor. He walked over to the dislodged stone tile. "Well, if you promise not to tell anyone that I was late for my shift, then sure."

Toad Waluigi laughed. "Sure thing. Igiulaw can keep a secret."

Jack started pulling the tile over to the hole. "Well then. My password is 'Bowser'. A little strange, I know, but Mario must have had some reason to pick it."

Toad Waluigi raised an eyebrow. "Mario?"

Jack nodded. "Mario came up with the password." He prepared to drop the stone tile onto the hole.

"Hold on a minute!"

Jack jumped, but he caught the stone tile before it fell.

A Green Toad girl with dark green spots and a large green ponytail pulled herself out of the hole.

Jack stared at the Green Toad girl. "Jill! What are you doing here?"

Jill pulled out a brown paper bag. "You forgot your lunch. Mom told me to bring it to you." She paused and looked over at Toad Waluigi. "Oh, who's your friend?"

Jack gestured at Toad Waluigi. "Um, this is Igiulaw. He's from a southern kingdom."

Jill's eyes brightened as she walked over to Toad Waluigi. "Oh, a southern gentleman, I presume."

Jack rolled his minuscule eyes. "Jill, go back home. We're on duty, now."

Jill sighed. "Fine." She turned back to Toad Waluigi. "See you around." She walked over to the and jumped in.

Jack dropped the stone tile into place. He looked up at Toad Waluigi. "Jill. She's great sister, but a horrible man-chaser." He pressed a button on his pickax, and it transformed into a spear. "Well, I'm on duty now. The princess's room is just one more floor up." He saluted. "See you around."

Toad Waluigi watched Jack walk away. He turned the other way and started walking. As soon as he reached the next flight of stairs, he ran up halfway and pulled out his Thieftech. "Okay, Alboort, Waluigi has the five passwords."

Alboort showed up on the screen. "I was a little worried, there. But it seems like you have been able to get around without revealing yourself." He tapped a couple of keys. "Anyways, I was able to intercept some communications amongst the guards, and it seems that the passwords were arranged so that they should be told to the guards in rainbow order. After you gain access, ask for a job as a guard. It's necessary for the kidnapping tonight."

Toad Waluigi laughed. "You know, Waluigi actually got up here by telling one of the guards that Waluigi was going to become a guard."

Alboort paused. "Well, that's... useful." He clicked a couple times on his mouse. "Look, just get this mission done with. The longer you stay there, the more risk you're getting into."
Toad Waluigi looked up the stairs. "Okay. Waluigi's heading up."

Alboort nodded. "I'll stay on the line, so I can hear everything that's going on."

Toad Waluigi gently folded his Thieftech and stuck it in his pocket. He walked up the stairs to see two large doors.

Five Toads, one of each color, stood in front of the doors. They all turned to Toad Waluigi. "Passwords, please."

Toad Waluigi jumped at the sudden attention. Well, Waluigi wasn't expecting that. Now, let's see. The five passwords were 'everything', 'beats', 'at', 'Mario', and 'Bowser'. Alboort also said that the passwords were to be told in rainbow order. But Waluigi can't remember what order the passwords go in. Was it 'Everything beats at Mario Bowser.

Toad Waluigi shook his head. That doesn't even make any sense. Toad Waluigi took hold of his chin. Besides, 'everything' is supposed to come last. The only sentences that would make sense are 'Bowser beats Mario at everything' and 'Mario beats Bowser at everything'. He rubbed his cap. Well, given how Mario is an egomaniac and came up with the password, Waluigi guesses there's only one possible answer. "Mario beats Bowser at everything!"

The Toad guards looked amongst each other. The huddled together and started talking. They soon separated and looked at Toad Waluigi. "That is correct." They started pushing the doors open. "Enter."

Toad Waluigi walked pass the Toads and into the room. The doors shut to leave him inside with the four interior Toad guards, an older Toad, and Princess Peach.

The older Toad looked stared at Toad Waluigi. He adjusted his spectacles. "Well, now. Who do we have here?"

Toad Waluigi rubbed the back of his cap. "Well, Igiulaw is Igiulaw."

"Igiulaw, huh?" The older Toad walked up to Toad Waluigi. "That certainly is a curious name."

Toad Waluigi flinched as the older Toad's stare buffeted him. "Well, um, Igiulaw is from a southern kingdom. He came up here to get a job as a guard."

The older Toad crossed his arms and eyed Toad Waluigi. "Well, I don't know. Taking on new guards during such a time as now isn't usually part of protocol."

Princess Peach stood up and walked over and patted the older Toad on the head. "Now, Toadsworth. If Igiulaw came up all this way to get a job, then I think it's only fitting if we let him become a guard."

Toadsworth looked up at the princess and back at Toad Waluigi. "Well, I suppose it will help increase security."

Toad Waluigi looked between Princess Peach and Toadsworth. "So, does that mean Igiulaw gets the job."

Toadsworth adjusted his spectacles. "Well, it will take some doing, but I suppose we could schedule you in to start some time tonight."

"You won't regret this." Toad Waluigi stuck his hand in the air, holding up one finger. "Igiulaw is number one, after all."

Toadsworth looked at Toad Waluigi. "Well, we'll just have to see about that. I'll have you contacted as soon as we have you scheduled."

Toad Waluigi walked back to the door. "Well, Igiulaw should probably get going then." He stopped as the door. "Oh, hold on a minute." He pulled a rose out of his vest and threw it, so it stuck in Princess Peach's dresser. He nodded and walked out. As he started walking down the stairs, he pulled out his Thieftech.

Alboort adjusted his glasses. "Well, that went rather smoothly. I can't believe they didn't at least quiz you for the job."

"Well, Waluigi just wants to come back and get out of this costume."

Alboort adjusted his glasses. "Yes, well, I just want to ask you ask you if you really think it was such a good idea to leave your 'calling card' with Princess Peach."

Toad Waluigi rolled his eyes. "What? Would you have preferred that Waluigi gave the rose to Jill?"

Alboort stared at Toad Waluigi. "Who's Jill?"

Toad Waluigi continued down the stairs, beginning to close his Thieftech. "Later, Alboort."

"Waluigi! Who's Jill?"

Mission complete,

signed,

-Waluigi

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The big inspiration for this is just that I thought it'd be funny to think about the ever tall Waluigi being stuck in a short little Toad suit.

See you later, and please review.