Chapter Fourteen
Slug Messages
From an untrained eye, everything about Konoha was back to the way it was before, with the new buildings made of wood and stone the only obvious changes throughout the village. But Temari didn't have untrained eyes, and she knew something was definitely wrong. Well, she knew better than to meddle with Leaf affairs, and with the new Hokage acting as if he had something very unpleasant shoved up his behind, she was not willing to take chances.
However, she thought it to be a personal mission to find out what was eating him.
The sun had just set, and it had barely gotten dark when she saw Shikamaru stepping out of the Administrations building, a thick file in one hand and an unlit cigarette in another. Temari frowned. When she first met him, he had struck her as someone who would think maintaining a vice would be too bothersome, but here he was, never seen without one of those disgusting things clamped between his lips.
The Nara had been acting weird. His teammate, Yamanaka Ino had been more than convinced something was up. The girl who Temari had worked together but once a couple of years back had changed as well. She looked… broken. Temari had been sent by Gaara to aid Konoha in the evacuations and rehabilitation of the civilians. All throughout the two months she had been busy, but she had a lot of free time in the evenings to hear what Ino had to say. She talked mostly of Haruno Sakura, of how worried she was about the pink-haired kunoichi. When they weren't talking about Sakura, they would be talking about Kakashi, who was conveniently in jail for some reason or another along with a lot of the other jounin.
Temari had warned Ino not to talk too much about how she felt about the Sixth. She didn't know if the Yamanaka had taken her advice seriously, but Temari hoped she did. Shimura Danzo did not look like a man who you should mess with.
Shikamaru slipped the cigarette into his mouth and started digging into his pockets for a lighter.
Temari stood up from her spot under the lamp post and dusted her bottom. "Hey, you," she called out to Shikamaru, adjusting her kimono around the waist before approaching him.
Shikamaru looked up and a frown pulled at the corner of his lips. "You."
"Don't look too happy to see me or anything," Temari muttered sarcastically when she reached his side.
Shikamaru went back to digging into his pockets and succeeded in extracting his trusty lighter. "Why are you still here? The renovations are complete, the relocations are done. What else do you need?"
Temari crossed her arms over her chest, turned off by the uncalled for rebuff. "If you must know, I was worried about you. That's why I sent my team ahead of me so I can talk to you before I go."
Shikamaru lit his cigarette with a shaky hand. He looked as bored as always, but she could see the telltale lines of stress forming under his eyes and in between his eyebrows. He had been frowning a lot lately, and it showed. "There's nothing to talk about. If your job is done, go back to the Sand. We're grateful and all, but if you have nothing else to do, I think it'd be better if you're not here." He took a long drag of his cigarette, letting the nicotine calm him down.
"Yeah, you're very welcome," Temari shot back. She lunged at him, grabbed his collar and shook him violently. "You ungrateful asshole! I come all the way here to check if you were doing all right and you can't even wait to get rid of me!"
In the struggle, Shikamaru let out a strangled yell when the file in his hand dropped to the floor, several pieces of papers scattered around their feet. It was strange. He would have preferred he dropped the file instead of his cigarette.
"What the hell do you want from me?" Shikamaru demanded as he tried to free himself from Temari's grip.
"I want you to tell me what's going on, because I can help you," Temari seethed. "If you just let me. Damn it." She shoved Shikamaru away.
The Nara bent down and started gathering his fallen papers. "Look, thanks for your concern, but really. This has nothing to do with the Sand. The last thing I want is for you to get involved." He looked up and met her gaze with a serious one. "I'd think it wise that we don't talk about anything other than Suna-Konoha related things."
Temari just stared at him incredulously as he finished collecting his papers and straightened up. The bored look was back on his face as he clamped the cigarette between his teeth. Something was definitely wrong. Shikamaru may be intolerant when it came to bothersome things, and sometimes he didn't have the patience to discuss certain matters with her, but he was never rude to her. Not even once. And to think she was going to tell him about Sakura and her companion. What was his name again? Sai?
Shikamaru straightened his flak jacket and sighed. "I'd love to see you off, but I have a lot to get done tonight, which will probably take until morning. I can't stay and chat."
"There's something wrong with you. I mean, really. There's something wrong with you." Temari wanted to grab his neck and wring it like crazy. She wanted to kill him. She might have killed him if she didn't know it would create an international problem between their villages. "Why won't you tell me what's going on?"
Shikamaru, who looked like he was about to walk away, turned towards her quickly and asked, "Why do you insist on sticking your neck into my business? I already told you, this has nothing to do with you. You would be better off… disassociating yourself with me. You hear?"
"Oh, I hear you. I just don't get you." Temari moved to reach out to him. He took a step back. "What is it you're hiding from me? If you're acting all shady like that to the ambassador of Suna, how can we keep the trust between our two villages when we can't even trust each other?"
The reaction in Shikamaru's face was evident. She had hit him hard. "It's not that. It's not about us trusting each other." His eyes darted uncomfortably around them. "It's more like me not trusting myself."
Temari let out a snort. "Oh, don't give me that crap! Yamanaka Ino has been worrying sick about you and she's been pouring her heart out to me, because she thinks I can convince you in telling me what's really going on. Now I'm not going to leave Konoha until I know what's bothering you, because I'm going to keep thinking of that girl ranting about it in my conscience."
Shikamaru looked like he was working everything in his smart head. Then he said something that made Temari's jaw drop to the floor. "Go out with me."
"What? Do you want a concussion?" Temari threatened, feeling her face heat up as her hands fumbled with the fan strapped to her back.
Shikamaru sighed, shaking his head as he dropped the cigarette on the ground and crushed it with his toe. That was when he started to avoid eye contact. "Dinner. Have dinner with me, then."
Temari crossed her arms over her chest again, suspicious. "Why do I have to have dinner with you?"
"You want to talk, right? Well as far as everyone around this village is concerned, the only reason for us to be seen together is when we're working. And unless you have a better reason to stick around when your work is over without raising suspicion – which I think you already are – then you and I shouldn't be seen together."
Temari hesitated for a bit before lowering her arms back down to her side. So was he saying that she had to go out on a date with him just to talk?
What the hell?
Shikamaru shrugged. "The Hokage won't hold it against me if I have a private life. And dinners with a special someone counts as a private life, right?"
Temari stared at him as if he had grown horns. Something was definitely wrong. Temari narrowed her eyes when she sensed something move to her left, a few hundred meters away. Was Shikamaru being followed? She could pick up another one somewhere above them, on the roof of one of the buildings. He was definitely being followed. "Where?" she asked softly, looking down at her feet. She could see the cigarette Shikamaru had put out with his shoe.
"Where what?" Shikamaru asked.
"Where are you taking me for dinner?"
"Seriously?" Shikamaru said in disbelief, as if he had been expecting her to say no in the first place. "You're that desperate? Wouldn't you usually just threaten me with your fan and walk away?"
Temari looked away, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed. "I wouldn't know. This is the first time you've actually asked me out."
Shikamaru's head was in his hand in a second. "Damn it. Fine. Tomorrow night, then. I'll pick you up from the inn you're staying in."
Temari swallowed involuntarily. Damn it all. She had set a date. They were going out to dinner tomorrow. And he was going to freaking pick her up.
She was still reeling from what had just happened that she did not realize Shikamaru had suddenly leaned over, and pressed his lips so near her ears that she thought he was going to kiss her. And then he whispered, "We can talk about anything you want to know, but you will keep what you know to yourself. If you can't hold that promise to me, then the date's off."
Temari pushed him away hurriedly, face suddenly feeling hot. "Tch! Fine, whatever! I'll see you tomorrow then." And she whirled around to walk away.
Something was definitely fishy about this. Shikamaru had always been a very careful shinobi, but this was the first time she had seen him doubt even himself.
She could still feel Shikamaru's eyes follow her until she finally rounded the corner. Temari was going to get to the bottom of this, even if it killed her.
Because Shikamaru asking anyone on dates was just too suspicious to let off.
The people of Gifu, though admittedly not fighters, were amazing builders. The traces of the attack left by the mysterious invaders were immediately and efficiently erased in a matter of days. The only problem they had was since the Healer's house was located a mere few hundred meters from the well, their only source of fresh water had been destroyed. Neji had suggested digging another hole to extract water from the ground, and using his Byakugan – when everyone was asleep and no one knew – he had located the perfect place to set up a new well where the water lever has highest. Tomona and the other men of the colony had agreed that this was the best option, and so the village was thrown into a frenzy in building a new well before their stocked water supply dwindled.
Lee, Neji and Sai had been on the project for three days straight, and digging up a water source was a meticulous job without the proper equipment they had lost in the attack. And while Lee had suggested drilling a hole in the ground with a good, old-fashioned heel-drop – when the people of the colony weren't looking, of course – Sai and Neji thought that it would be wiser to just do it the Gifu-way. But as Sai looked over the three remaining pots of drinking water they had in the newly built, if not smaller kitchen, he was starting to consider the Taijutsu master's suggestion.
Sai hitched the firewood he had under his arm as he let his eyes wander across the broken wall that used to surround their garden. The atmosphere around these parts of the colony reminded him of the destruction of Konoha. He did not like it. Chaos was always something an artist found hard to appreciate, unless you looked really hard enough to find a sapling in the midst of a dilapidated structure.
Or maybe finding a living child on the day his mother died.
Baby Valu now lived with them in the newly rebuilt Healer's house. The child was oblivious of what life had robbed him of, and perhaps this was all for the best. At least by the time he was old enough to ask about her mother, it would not be up to Sai to tell him that his mother's grave was right under the second to the left Madrone tree in the outskirts of the colony.
Sai raised his free hand to the door of the clinic and knocked three times.
Tenten answered the door for him. The dark-haired girl looked horrible, with bags under her eyes and a frown that had been present on her usually smiling mouth ever since they had taken in baby Valu. "Oh, it's you," she muttered, stepping aside to let Sai in.
Sai threw his hood off his head and gave the weapons mistress a nod. "You look as haggard as ever." He quickly dodged the foot that came flying towards his shin, and he proceeded to the hearth and deposited the timber on the waiting basket near it. "The baby had you up all night? I thought you were taking shifts with Sakura?"
"With the way he was crying, those shifts meant absolutely nothing. It had to take both of us to calm him down last night because you guys had been so noisy that he wouldn't sleep. And even if he did fall asleep, he just kept waking up."
"You know that we have to keep working before we run out of water," Sai pointed out as he shrugged off his coat and started pulling at the fingerless gloves on his hands. Working with dirt and sand with gloves on was a pain. He frowned down at his palms, caked with sweat, mud and tiny rocks. And with no water to spare for washing and bathing, it had been three days since all of them had taken a well-deserved shower. He stank. He knew he did. He could smell himself, and although ninja were sometimes forced to unhygienic situations and Sai never once complained out loud about it, he had to admit he didn't like it. He couldn't even consider holding a scroll and brush. It had been three days since he'd painted anything in his free time.
Tenten sighed, shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it look like I'm blaming you."
Sai didn't really care what she thought. All of them had been wound up lately, and with the fact that Noa had been avoiding them and their questions for the past three days, he was still left with no answers. The mere fact that it had nothing to do with Danzo or Konoha altogether had been a big relief to him, but with the way Sakura had been going on lately, he was starting to think that it didn't matter what it was about.
Sakura had been greatly affected by Riho's death. She was so affected by it, in fact, that she was acting like it didn't affect her at all. She was cheerful, and happy and she was almost always smiling when she was with Valu.
"Where is she?" Sai asked as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, trying to get rid of the filth he knew was covering his face.
"She's nursing Valu right now."
Sai nodded absently. Valu was lucky that Sakura was resourceful enough to nurse him. Gifu did not have available dairy milk, and Sakura had been substituting his bottles with nut and almond milks. Making them was Sakura's job everyday, and although she had been saying that the needed calcium could be substituted by almond milk, she had been fussing about the lack of vitamin D. Sai had told her that this was the best they could do in such a place and their given situation. Sakura had agreed with him, but she was still worrying a lot about it.
"Sai," Tenten suddenly said.
Sai looked down at the girl as he started wiping his hands on his trousers. "What?"
"Where do we go from here?" Tenten asked as she started fiddling with her skirts. "When we came here looking for Sakura, we were hoping that you guys would have a plan. That maybe we'd receive any form of instructions from Tsunade-sama, but we've been here for over two months already, and I don't think we're getting anywhere."
Sai raised an eyebrow at her. "We never asked you to stay, and we never promised you that there would be a plan if you do."
Tenten's mouth opened and closed, and then finally she nodded. "I know that. I guess I was just hoping that… well… "
"We're going by as we can, and the only instructions we got from Tsunade-sama was to stay alive. And that's what we're doing," Sai said. He paused, then said, "I had thought this was the safest place for Sakura, but after that attack, I'm considering leaving Gifu. What will you do?"
Tenten was a bit taken aback. She smiled uncertainly. "I'll have to talk to Neji about that. Although I think he'd want to stick together."
Sai felt his face go grim. Though he had resigned to the fact that Team Gai was not an enemy, he was worried about something else.
And that was the perfect time when the door opened to admit that something.
"Ah, there you are!" Lee said enthusiastically as he and Neji entered the clinic looking incredibly dirty and tired. In their arms were two small buckets of cactus meat, the only substitutes they could come up for water.
"Welcome home," Tenten greeted them and she went to take the buckets from her teammates. "How goes the digging?"
"I still say it is better to do it the ninja way," Lee said as he started unbinding his hands of his dirty gloves.
Neji looked at him disapprovingly. "We can't do that."
Tenten nodded. "Neji's right. Don't you dare try anything stupid, Lee." She gave Lee a pointed look before disappearing through the door that led outside to the kitchens, taking the buckets of cactus meat along with her.
"Is your shift over?" Sai asked Neji and tried very hard to ignore Lee who was now looking around, obviously for Sakura.
"Yes," Neji said as he wiped his chin with the collar of his robes. His face was caked with a good layer of sand and a bit of mud that said he had been the one at the bottom layer of the hole, shoveling dirt up. "Another few hours and I think we'll reach the water table. But we're running out of sturdy stones to line the well with. I'm planning to sneak out of the colony later tonight and 'make' us good enough boulders to haul back." By that, he meant he was going to take chunks of rock formations outside the colony with his not-so-gentle fist.
"That's a good idea. Need any help?"
Neji gave him an uncertain look. "I think it would be better if you stayed with Sakura as much as you can. She might need you."
Lee was instantly onto them. "I shall stay with Sakura," he offered hopefully.
Neji bared his teeth at his teammate. "You will help me carry back boulders later tonight and you will stop creating more tension than necessary." He let out a tired breath. "The faster we get this done, the faster we get to take baths."
Sai nodded, liking the thought of showering. "That's true. I'll take your shift tomorrow."
"That would be great," Neji said.
Lee was not happy, though he didn't say anything. Sai tried to ignore him as best he could. He still could not forgive the guy for disobeying him and letting Sakura come back to the colony when he had entrusted him to take her away from danger. Not that he had trusted him to begin with. The job of keeping Sakura safe wasn't supposed to be handed down to anybody. He knew that now.
Leaving Neji and Lee in the clinic, Sai started up the stairs to where Sakura was. He found her sitting on the window sill, Valu wrapped in white robes in one arm as she held a bottle of nut milk steadily to his mouth with her other hand. Sai looked around the second floor of their house and sighed. While the villagers had prioritized rebuilding their Healer's house, the furniture burned from the attack were irreplaceable. Aside from the cots they were able to salvage from the fire, their dining table, chairs and majority of her herbs in the garden were gone. The clinic was mostly intact, except for all the broken jars of medicine that Noa was not able to save.
Sakura looked up when she finally realized Sai was standing by the stairs. She smiled that fake smile of hers. "Sai. Welcome home. You stink. I can smell you all the way from here."
Sai blinked at her, paused, then looked down at the floor. "Sorry. We won't be able to do anything about it until the well's operational. I can sleep on the other side of the room if it bothers you."
Sakura was surprised. "You don't have well duty tonight? That's a first."
"Neji and Lee said they have it covered." He looked up finally and was taken aback when his eyes met hers. The smile was still on her face, but her eyes were as empty as they were when they were burying Riho's body. He gestured at the baby. "How is he?"
Sakura's gaze dropped back to the baby, and her expression softened. "He's had his milk, so he'll be asleep in a while." She removed the bottle and placed on the wind sill next to her.
Sai nodded as he lowered himself on the floor, not wanting to get any closer to Sakura after having been told he stank. "You're getting the hang of doing that mothering thing. Have you done this before?"
Sakura laughed absently. "No. I guess all women have maternal instincts."
"You're doing a good job," Sai said, using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe at his cheek, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Did he really smell that bad that Sakura could tell all the way there?
Sakura got up from her seat and started rocking the baby gently. "I don't know about the good job part, though. I'm just getting by, and Tenten helps me a lot."
Sai felt one corner of his mouth turn up as he watched Sakura do a little dance across the floor, humming softly to Valu. Memories of that one time when Sakura had been too intoxicated with sleep and had let slip something that could have bordered romantic had Sai really understood it better.
"I can't wait for her baby. She said she wants a baby boy."
"I suppose a boy would be nice for a first-born."
"You think so, too? I wouldn't mind if we had a girl instead… "
Sai felt his face tingle slightly and his cheeks started to grow a bit warm. He wiped at it again with his sleeve. He did not know what it was with Sakura when she was sleepy or drunk or indisposed. He had noticed that she would become quite open to many things that she usually didn't do in normal circumstances. And he did not know why he found this so endearing. Watching her dance around with a baby in her arms was… pleasing to the eye. She was just so natural at showering affection. She was born to be a healer.
Or a mother.
A lover?
A wife?
Sai looked away. While he had been sure enough that he had confessed his feelings for her, and that there was no way she could have misunderstood, he had started to wonder what normally really happened after a love confession. He was almost a hundred percent sure there was a pattern that concerned the girl saying something in return to the boy's proposal. Or had he read wrong? Because so far, after he had told Sakura that he loved her, here she was, completely oblivious of him. She never said anything about it, and he didn't know how to bring it up himself.
Him smelling so undesirably was not helping either, given Sakura didn't even look like she wanted to be near him.
"What are you thinking?" Sakura suddenly asked.
Sai looked up to see her gently laying down Valu in the small crib. That crib used to be in Riho's house. Sai had taken it back to theirs to use for the baby. "That I smell," he said honestly.
"That, you do," Sakura mused as she fluffed several pillows she had arranged around the crib. She tried to laugh. Sai could tell it was the last thing she wanted to do. Straightening up, she crossed the room slowly, bending down by the other window where a wooden bucket sat. She pulled at the colorful scarf wrapped around her hair and threw it inside the bucket. She shook her hair out. It had grown considerably over the months. Sai thought she looked better with short hair. "Come over here," she said.
Sai hesitated a bit, unsure of what she was planning, but stood up anyway and approached her warily. "What is it?"
Sakura gave him a 'you're hopeless' look before squeezing out the excess water from her scarf and raising it to his face. "You're acting like I'm going to do something bad to you."
Sai pulled back in surprise when the wet fabric touched his cheek. Out of reflex, his hand shot out to grab her wrist.
Sakura stiffened before frowning at him. "Let go. I'm just going to wipe that grime off your face."
Sai relaxed a bit, eyeing the scarf in her hand. Her bare, gloveless hand. He let go quickly. "Sorry. But you shouldn't be wasting water."
Sakura ignored him and tentatively pressed the cloth to his face again. Her eyes were watching her own hand work across his cheeks, down to his neck. "It's just a damp scarf. It's not like I'm splashing water all over you." The cloth left a clean, wet trail as Sakura reached over to the back of his neck. "How long have you been rolling around in the dirt, anyway?"
"Since last night," Sai said, trying hard to concentrate in steadying his breathing. He watched her face, which was dangerously close to his, as she started scrubbing under his chin.
"Tough," Sakura said.
"I don't mind the dirt," Sai tried again, suddenly very aware of Sakura's other hand she had pressed on his chest to balance herself as she reached up to wipe his forehead.
"I mind. We're cohabitating here," Sakura muttered softly and she met his gaze for a brief second before she tugged at his shirt bottom. "Take your shirt off."
Sai laughed because he thought he recognized – and so he thought it fit to appreciate – the joke. "You're funny."
Sakura blinked at him. "Take it off," she said again before bending down and rinsing the scarf in the bucket.
Sai hurriedly pulled his shirt over his head, not liking Sakura's tone. He had heard it many times before, and he knew that tone shouldn't be taken lightly. He dropped the shirt onto the floor, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. He didn't know what to do with his hands.
Sakura straightened up and started rubbing his right shoulder. She wrinkled her nose. "I'm not used to you filthy. You were always very neat."
Sai watched the top of her head as she started down one arm. "I'm sorry."
Sakura's hand paused in the middle of his upper arm. She peeled a finger from the scarf and she used that to trace his nasty tan line, imposing how pale he really was, and how long he had been out in the sun lately. He bit the insides of his cheek, feeling something that came close to what other people might call 'discomfort'. He did not feel good having Sakura clean his body. He did not know why.
"I can clean myself," Sai offered, but he found his hands unmoving at his side, with no desire to take the cloth from her.
Sakura looked up from his arm, met his eyes with hers. "Have you talked to Noa?" she suddenly asked
Sai was a bit surprised at her question. "No. She's locked herself in her house. She wouldn't answer to anyone."
Sakura's face went grim. "Maybe I should talk to her."
Admittedly, Sai had been curious about the reason behind the attack that only Noa seemed to know. The girl looked like she had known this would happen the moment Sakura came to Gifu, and had been more than adamant to have her leave because Noa said Sakura 'brought trouble'. She had said it many times in the past. He had wanted to drill her for answers right after Riho's burial, but the girl had slipped away from them and locked herself in her house and refused to see anyone.
Sai, in the end, had decided that the reason why those people attacked Gifu for their healer was simply trivial. Asking Noa why it happened would not serve him or Sakura any purpose, since he already had his mind set on leaving the colony. "Don't waste your time. After the reconstruction of the well and when the colony goes back to normal, I'm planning on taking you away from here. It's not safe. A merchant was here yesterday for the weekly food trade, and that means he's off with news that Gifu was attacked. It won't be long before people start talking." Not to mention the fact that a body of a person that was not a resident of Gifu was found with his throat slit in the Healer's house, compliments of Sai himself. Of course, the people of Gifu had pretended no such thing happened and acted as if they did not see when Neji and Sai tried to dispose of the body after Tenten had examined it for sealing jutsu that might have been present on the corpse. None were found, and Sai had been disappointed. He had hoped for clues.
Sakura's cloth swept across his chest gently, pausing right on the spot where his heart was. She looked up at him with a determined expression on her face. "We can't leave these people. They might attack again. And what about Valu?"
Sai looked down as the hand on his heart as it tensed into a fist. He reached for it and enveloped it in his own hand, squeezing slightly. "The reason they attacked in the first place was because we were here. We can't stay here anymore, for our sake and for theirs."
Sakura was eyeing their hands, and she shook her head. "And the baby? What about baby Valu?"
Sai nearly bristled, honestly surprised. "What about him? Sakura, you're seriously not thinking of… taking this child in, right?"
Her face colored a bit and she tore her hand away from his grip. Sai dropped the scarf carelessly on the floor, then snatched her hand back. "Don't run away from me. Let's talk about this."
It was strange, because Sakura actually let him stop her. She turned to face him again, and she was frowning. "You don't understand. You wouldn't understand this kind of thing."
Sai couldn't help but realize he had caught her by her wrist. Had she always been this thin? No. She had lost weight. Again. It had to be the stress, because he had made sure she'd eaten her meals three times a day. "You're right. I don't understand. Why are you willing to risk your life and your mission for people who barely even care about their own lives?"
His question seemed to have angered Sakura because she snatched her hand away from him. "Because I'm not from Root. The least you can do is pretend like you care about what happens to these people."
Sai scratched his forehead, slightly frustrated "We can't help them, Sakura. You know that. Because the only way anyone can help these people is to teach them how to use a pitchfork as a weapon to defend themselves if a threat comes. And that would mean destroying their beliefs. It would mean changing their way of life. You can't do that."
Sakura bit her lower lip and didn't say anything, a sign that Sai had won this round of the argument. However, he knew that Sakura didn't take defeat very well, and he was unconsciously preparing himself for her counter-strike as he picked up his dirty shirt and walked over to the laundry basket overflowing with dirty clothes and linens that they hadn't washed for the past three days. He will have to keep his guard up the moment their water supply comes back; he did not want to lose to Lee, who would most definitely try to get into Sakura's good side by doing the laundry for her.
Sakura slowly made her way towards the crib and looked down at the baby sleeping in it. She had mourned for Riho's death for a mere day. She looked like she needed more time in assessing her feelings about the woman. "What will happen to Valu?"
Sai looked over to her. He did not know what would happen to Valu. And honestly, he knew that he shouldn't care, but… "I'll figure it out. I'll ask around the women for someone who'd want to take him in."
Sakura still looked unconvinced. Sai approached her and said, "You're thinking that it's your responsibility to take care of this child because you're blaming yourself for the death of his mother. But wallowing in your misplaced grief wouldn't do any of us any good. You should be worrying more about what Tsunade-sama wanted you to do. Have you memorized the scroll?"
Sakura shook her head. "Not yet. It's easier said than done. And I'm already very tired."
"I don't want to force you into hurrying it up, but it'd be wise if you mastered the scroll before we leave this place. I think half the pressure would come off after we get rid of that scroll off your back."
Sakura was silent for a minute before she asked, "When are we planning to leave?"
"I was hoping to leave as soon as the well's finished, but since it matters so much to you, we won't leave until we find someone to take Valu. I'm hoping we can do it before spring comes."
"And where are we going?" she asked again softly.
Sai paused, looked over at her and said, "I don't know yet. But believe me when I say that it'll be a safe place. I wouldn't have it any other way."
Sakura returned his gaze, a bored look in those green eyes of hers. "You're still at that."
Sai knew what she was pertaining to. "My life before yours, Sakura," he said simply.
"You make is sound so chivalrous," Sakura said dryly, crossing her arms over her stomach.
"If it had anything to do with chivalry, I would have shown you more courtesy in doing what you want to do. On the contrary, I actually think I lack that courtesy."
Sakura narrowed her eyes at him before turning away. "How nice of you to realize that."
Sai slowly made his way towards the pile of clean clothes – the ones they were able to salvage from the fire – in a hamper by their cots and pulled out a very rumpled grey shirt. He pulled it over his head. "I can detect your sarcasm. I must be getting to know you well already."
Sakura ignored him and started busying herself with the bucket of dirty water and the wet scarf. She shook her head. "You don't know anything about me."
Sai's head popped out of the collar of his shirt and he looked at Sakura curiously. That wasn't true. He knew a lot of things about her. So much, in fact, that he had come to believe he loved her. Or at least in the sense he understood it. The thought made him pause. He wondered if this was a perfect time to follow up his love confession.
"Sakura?" he started.
"What?" Sakura turned to him, venom practically radiating from her eyes.
Definitely not a good time to follow up his love confession.
"Nothing… "
Yamato was tired. Seeing Kakashi in jail and trying to talk to him always tired him. Maybe his senpai sharing a cell with Gai had something to do with it. He could not put a single word in without having Gai shove in something that had to do with their rivalry or whatnot. After an hour of trying to get advice from Kakashi – and getting interrupted – for a little more than an hour, he had finally given up and abandoned all hope of convincing the man let him in on the plan Shikamaru had laid down on Kakashi not a few days ago that had something to do with Kumo nin and the Hyuuga daughter.
Lately, Yamato was starting to get a bit desperate. Now that the village renovations were complete, and the civilians were successfully relocated to their new homes, he had run out of jobs to keep his mind off many things that he'd rather not think about. And now that he had a lot of free time in his hands, Danzo had started pestering him about the available masons who would be carving his face on the Hokage Mountain. He had intentionally ignored his summons three times that day, and for the first time since the renovations started, he had actually stopped caring.
Yamato turned the corner to the towards the village izakaya, thinking that after all the work he'd done for the village, he deserved this night off and have a few quiet drinks by himself. He guessed having Kakashi in jail had it upsides. It wasn't everyday he got to sit down and wallow in self-pity in peace.
It had been a while since he'd gone home, showered and changed out of his uniform. Even if it were just for that night, he was grateful to shed away his hitai-ate along with his duty to the village and just be another face in the crowd.
His hopes on being alone that night, however, were changed the moment he stepped into the izakaya. No, the place was not crowded. In fact, there were but a number of people sitting on the counter, talking to the flirty-looking little bar maid. But there was a familiar face he spotted in her own little corner table, trying to look invisible. She had her back to him, and she was looking out of the window, a glass of what looked like untouched whiskey forgotten in front of her.
The attire gave her away. In that flimsy white tunic, Yamato knew it was Shizune.
Yamato made his way towards her, shrugged his coat off and draped it on the woman's bare shoulders. She jumped, looked up in alarm, then evidently relaxed at the sight of him.
"You scared me," she accused, sitting up straighter in her chair. She pulled Yamato's jacket closer around her, looking grateful.
"You're still wearing that thing. Go home. Get dressed. Unless you want to get sexually harassed," Yamato said as he invited himself on a chair opposite her.
Shizune frowned down at the glass in front of her. "I can't. That old geezer has me on a dress code."
"You have yourself to blame," Yamato said, raising his hand to hail a waitress. He turned to her. "You've been avoiding me."
This time, Shizune's eyes narrowed at him. "Of course I would. I would avoid a man who's intentionally planted a tracking device on me. What do you take me for?"
Yamato placed his order of a beer when the waitress approached then turned back to Shizune after they were left alone on their table. "It surprises me to know that you're so selectively cautious when it comes to the dangers and threats around you. I planted that on you because I was worried you were going to do something rash."
"And what? Run to my aid when you sense I was in trouble?" Shizune sneered.
Yamato frowned. "No. It was to make sure I'd know where to collect your corpse once Danzo kills you and throws you in a ditch somewhere outside the village. Look, why do you hate me so much? The last time I tried to talk to you, you were just as mad as you are now."
Shizune paused for a moment before lowering her head and slouching on her seat. "I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed."
Yamato blinked. "Disappointed? At what? Me?"
Shizune rolled her eyes and used her drink as an excuse not to look at him. "Of course, you. I could understand Shikaku, Inoichi and Tsume to act how they are because they have their clans to protect, but even then, at least I can see some form of rebellion in them. But I wouldn't have expected you to turn into one of Danzo's lapdogs. Kakashi would never do what you're doing." She was accusing him. She was questioning his loyalty.
Yamato's drink came, which he pushed to the side and leaned his elbows on the surface of the table. "Kakashi would never do what I'm doing that's why he's in jail. What good would it have done if I'd let him suspect any form of insubordination and locked me up? Getting the village back up on its feet would have taken ten times as long. And then where would we be?"
Shizune was silent again, and she concentrating on sipping on her drink.
Yamato, feeling slightly annoyed, leaned back on his own chair, grabbed his drink and downed it in two large gulps. "Just because I don't shout my loyalty to Tsunade-sama from the rooftops doesn't mean I'm your enemy. I was taken out of ANBU for a mission that was handed down by the Fifth herself, and until those orders are revoked, my loyalty lies in her hands, and to keep Naruto out of trouble. But since he's conveniently not here in the village as we speak, I tried to offer my services to the village out of the kindness of my heart. I'm sorry to have disappointed you by not choosing jail over underpaid manual labor. Now what have you been doing for the past three months?"
Shizune's eyes widened before her face turned several shades redder and she ducked her head again.
When she didn't say anything, Yamato couldn't help himself as he slammed his beer mug on the table. "Let me guess. You were brewing tea for Danzo while plotting his death? Well, then maybe you should go all out and maybe shake those nice hips of yours and flash your bare legs while you're at it, because you sure do have the outfit for it."
Shizune gasped, stood up so fast that her chair fell backwards, and she pulled back her hand. She landed a very hard slap across Yamato's face. "How dare you!"
Yamato instantly regretted what he had said. He wanted to blame the stress and the fatigue from all those weeks of working, but he knew he had spoken out of line. Shizune moved as if to leave, and Yamato was also on his feet, his hand shooting out to grab her wrist. "I'm sorry. Don't go. I didn't mean it that way." When he was sure Shizune wouldn't run off, he walked over to her side of the table, righted her fallen chair and pushed her back on it. Shizune evidently stiffened when his hands touched her shoulders from over the coat Yamato had lent her. "I was out of line. Forgive me."
Shizune shrugged his hands off. "Whatever. Just.. just go back to your seat."
Feeling really horrible, Yamato complied. He suddenly felt drained. Tired. Over-working always brought out the worst in people, and he knew he had no right to shoot Shizune down. It hadn't been easy for any of them lately. He gestured at her. "How… how have you been lately?"
Shizune, probably seeing Yamato's efforts in starting a civil conversation, nodded, but still kept her eyes on the window. "I have today and tomorrow off. The day after that, we're making the new hospital operational, and I'm assigned to lead the preparations. It's the best news I've had in three months. At least I won't be seeing that bastard's face for two weeks straight."
Sensing that her anger was directed back at Danzo, Yamato relaxed in his chair. "Ah, that's good to hear. But now that all capable chuunin are away from the village, putting together a team must be hard, right?"
Shizune sighed at what he said, and she started absent-mindedly dipping her finger in her drink. "So far, the only one I have in my list is Yamanaka Ino. And I've heard she hasn't been herself lately. Those who I know who have great chakra control – well, namely Sakura and Hinata – would have saved me a lot of time."
Yamato suddenly had a light bulb moment. "Well, I won't be able to help you with that, but I have a suggestion for a member."
Shizune looked up, interested. "Really?"
Yamato nodded. "She might be a bit too young, but if you're looking for chakra control, what better recruit than a Hyuuga?" He leaned forward on the table, and Shizune, blinking at him in anticipation, leaned forward with him. "Take Hyuuga Hanabi in your team."
Shizune was greatly surprised, but she did not look disappointed. "Hanabi, huh? She's not enrolled in the academy, right?"
"That's right. She studies at home, and is being groomed by Hiashi himself to succeed the family line."
Shizune was thoughtful, and after a while nodded. "Well, there are talks that she has great control. Even better than her sister, right?"
"In terms of raw talent yes, but she might still lack experience. And since she isn't exposed to other children her age, following medical jargons and rules would prove to be a hassle for you. But, beggars aren't choosers." And it would be better to have the Hyuuga heir under Shizune's wing than have her alone in the Hyuuga compound while Danzo's hounds lurked around her.
Shizune's mood lightened relatively after that. The two of them had ended up drinking more than a few rounds, and maybe it was the alcohol, but Shizune had started to loosen up a bit. Mostly, she complained about Danzo. Sometimes she complained about her clothes. Yamato listened with the patience of a saint, trying to get on her good side more. In turn, Yamato talked about Kakashi, and how he seemed to enjoy his life in prison.
"That sounds like Kakashi, all right," Shizune said, laughing loudly as she crunched on the ice cube from her glass.
"Not only that, but he's asked me to baby-sit his plant. Can you believe that?"
That earned him another round of laughter from the woman. "Well, after all that's happened for the last months in Konoha, believe me, nothing – and I mean nothing – can surprise me again."
But it turned out, that there was still something that could surprise her. And Yamato for that matter.
It happened in a blink of an eye, so fast that their brains, slowed down by alcohol, took time to register what was happening before them.
There was a popping sound, a cloud of smoke then something small, white and painfully familiar landed on Shizune's head.
Shizune screamed bloody murder.
Yamato was on his feet in a second, and without thinking, seized Shizune from behind and clamped his hands over her mouth, simultaneously shielding her from the eyes of the people who had turned around to see what had made her scream like a banshee. "Don't. Make. A scene!" he hissed.
Shizune started talking against his mouth, breathing hard through her nose.
Because right on her head, in all her slimy glory, sat Katsuyu, blinking up at Yamato with her beady eyes and saying, "Hello. It's been a while."
That night, Sakura watched through the shutter of the second floor window as Neji and Lee, looking as dirty and tired as that afternoon, set off towards the center of the colony where they were digging up a new well. Tenten, who had Valu in one arm and a little wooden rattle in another, stood beside her as she hummed one of Konoha's children songs to the baby.
"Bamboo leaves are rustling, rustling, swaying close to the roof's edge. Oh, how the stars are twinkling, twinkling, gold and silver grains of sand. Five wishes I have written. The stars are twinkling and watching from the sky," Tenten sang off-key.
Sakura shivered at the cold, pulled the curtain closed over the windows and smiled at the weapons mistress. "Wow, I haven't heard that song in ages."
"Yeah? I love it. It reminds me of home," Tenten said as she started dancing gently around the room, rattling the toy in front of Valu playfully.
Sakura suddenly felt a bit homesick. She had been homesick many times before in the last months they had been in Gifu, but maybe not as much as she did now. Ever since Riho's death, she felt as if a heavy veil had fallen over the colony, and whatever charm it had had simply died with the woman. The attack had brought back so many bad memories of the time when Konoha had been ground to dust, and those memories were the ones she wished she could forget. That was what started it all. She wondered when it will all end…
"Let me check the fire downstairs, all right?" Sakura said. "I'll bring a fresh bottle up later."
Tenten nodded. "Thanks. Baby Valu and I will just stay here and play. Isn't that right, baby Valu? You love to play with Aunt Tenten, right?" It earned her a small giggle from the baby.
Sakura laughed at her as she made her way down the stairs to the clinic. She was feeding the dwindling fire some timber when Sai walked in from the front door, looking grim. She turned around to face him. "Any luck?"
The Root agent shook his head. Sai had left earlier before sunset to once again try talking to Noa, but it looked like today, too, the girl refused to come out and tell them anything. Sakura did not understand what and why she was hiding things from them, when it concerned something as important as the safety of Gifu.
"If she doesn't open up her door tomorrow, I'm seriously breaking it down," Sai said, a grotesque smile spreading across his stoic face. It wasn't everyday Sakura got to see his patience stretched, but she guessed she understood his feelings towards the matter. He pulled his robes off his shoulders and hung it on one of the pegs on the wall.
Sakura sighed as she tossed one more piece of wood in the fire. "Give it up. She'll come out in time."
"We don't have that time. We're leaving here the moment you master that scroll and find Valu a guardian," he pointed out as he joined her by the fire, sitting down on the hard floor, crossing his legs in front of him.
Sakura stared down at him, noticing how his hair was sticking up strangely at the back. Fighting the urge to reach out and fix it, she crouched down beside him and hugged her knees to her chest. "Have you asked around about Valu?"
"I asked a few of the women, and some of them say they're going to think about it. You can't blame them, though. Feeding that young a child would be hard in a place like this. And none of them have your patience in making breast milk substitutes. I'll try again tomorrow." He looked over to her, then said, "I promise."
Sakura swallowed the lump that had started forming in her throat. She had to do that a lot lately, every time Sai looked at her straight in the eye. She did not know what had changed so much in those dark eyes of his. They were still dead and glassy, but once in a while there would be something going on behind them that she could not put her finger into.
Of course, her discomfort had a lot to do about that night of the Solstice, when Sai had conveniently dragged her out of the house and throw at her a very uninspired love confession, only to be interrupted by an invasion that had cost her the life of a friend.
In all honesty, she didn't know where to go from there. It didn't look like Sai even remembered that time. Well, it wasn't as if she could blame him for that. She had nearly forgotten about it after all that's happened. But for the past days, when her mind wasn't as preoccupied with more important stuff, she would remember it.
"I think I may have fallen in love with you without me noticing it."
What kind of confession was that anyway? He thought he had fallen in love with her? So… was he in love with her? Or did he just think he was?
She shook herself quickly. It wasn't as if it mattered. He hadn't brought it up ever since. And she didn't even have it in her to ask him about it, because she did not know what she should expect from him if she did. She didn't want to make it sound like she was… curious. Oh, no. God forbid he misunderstood. Because… well… she didn't care if he really meant it or not. Right?
Right?
"By the way, I have something for you," Sai suddenly said.
Sakura jumped at the sound of his voice and she turned to look at him, a bit flustered. "Huh?"
He was digging into his pocket. After a few moments, he finally took it out. It looked like a small hair accessory with some green gem on it. Sai took his time in plucking out the lint that had stuck on it from his pocket and held it out to her. "Here. I thought it might look good on you."
Sakura stared at the object in honest surprise and took it in her hand. "Oh… well… thank you."
Sai's hands were instantly back on his knees as he stared at the fire again. "You're welcome."
Sakura thought it polite to clip it on her hair, though feeling a bit awkward for receiving a gift out of the blue. She randomly picked a lock of hair to attach it to. She turned to Sai. "How does it look on me?" she asked.
Sai looked up at the place where she had placed the accessory, reached out as if to set it straight, then nodded. "It looks good on you. It brings out your eyes."
Sakura felt her face heat up, and she swatted away his hand. "Idiot. These are the times when you'd laugh at me and say I look ugly."
"But then you would punch me. Your punches hurt."
Well, he may be right, but it was easier to just get angry at his insults instead of feel strangely happy at his compliments. She looked away. "Well, thanks."
"Yeah," he said.
A long, uncomfortable silence followed. It was so long that when Sai suddenly spoke, she had to bite her lip from letting out a small, nervous yelp.
"Sakura," he started.
Sakura swallowed. What with the serious tone in his voice? "Wh-what?"
"I have to tell you something. To tell you honestly, I don't know where to begin."
So don't! Sakura thought to herself, her heart suddenly beating faster. She had a bad feeling about this.
"I haven't done much reading about this, and in normal circumstances, I know it shouldn't have gone that way. But a few days back, that Solstice night… " Sai took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving the fire. "Do you remember?"
How could I forget? No one can forget that half-assed confession. She let her gaze drop down to her lap. "Uhm… not really," she lied.
"Oh…" Sai said, a bit disappointed. "Well, I guess it would be better if I just say it all over again." He shifted in his place, turned around to face her. "Look at me."
Sakura felt a cold sweat pop on her forehead. "Uhm… I'd really rather not."
"But if you don't look at me, how can I tell you that I lo – "
"Stop!" Sakura screamed, covering her ears with both hands. She did not have to hear this. She had heard it the first time, and in that very small window of opportunity given to her to think about it before her surroundings had been engulfed in flames, she had felt so very uncomfortable at the fact that this person, who knew nothing about human emotions, was telling her he loved her. For the second time.
"What?" Sai asked.
Sakura turned to face him, and he looked wide-eyed and confused that for a moment she felt a bit guilty for suddenly screaming at him. "You don't have to say it again. I know. I remember what you said that night."
He nodded vigorously, encouraging her to continue.
Unfortunately, she did not know how to respond. What was she supposed to say? She didn't even know if he really did understand their situation right now.
"You don't… feel the same way?" he asked slowly.
Sakura bit her lower lip, not really sure of how to answer that.
"Do you hate me?" he asked again.
"What? No!" Sakura suddenly blurted out. She did not even know why she was getting all flustered with all this.
"Then do you love me?" Sai asked again, and God help him, he had said it with such a straight face that Sakura considered slamming her fist in his face for embarrassing her so much.
"Lo - what? No! I don't love you!"
"Then you hate me," Sai said, wilting.
"I don't hate you!" Sakura seethed. She hated these kinds of conversations. They made her brain hurt and her IQ drop several notches below sea level. "God, I'm not having this conversation with you." She bundled her skirt in her arms and stood up.
Sai grabbed her hand. "Don't go. Stay."
Sakura gasped. Maybe it was because she wasn't expecting his hand to be this warm against her clammy ones, or maybe she had just forgotten how big his hands were compared to hers. But the mere fact that he had his gloveless hand gripping her gloveless hand had made her stop in her tracks.
"We're not going there, Sai," Sakura warned.
And for the first time, she actually saw a raw emotion flicker on that stoic face of his. He was hurt. "That's unfair. You're not even going to reject or accept my feelings. You're just going to ignore the fact that I feel this way," he accused.
Sakura tried to free her hand from his vise-grip. "That's because you don't know what you're talking about. I'm saving you the embarrassment that you always get when you think you know how humans work."
Sai's eyebrows furrowed. "Noa said… she said that humans don't work. They just are. You're right, I don't know anything about these feelings, because I've always refused to react to them. That was how I was trained. Which makes it all the more strange for me, because I can't help but react to them when I'm with you."
Sakura pulled at her hand again. No, this was not happening to her. She did not have the time or the stamina to worry about Sai's delusion of being in love with her. "Let go!"
"Listen to what I'm saying, please!" And using the strength Sakura forgot that he had, he tugged at her hard, and she ended up falling against him. He caught her quickly, pulling her to his chest and catching her other hand in his.
She found herself straddling his hips. A position that would normally have made her so mad at him, but for some reason she felt weak. Sai had raised their intertwined hands between them, and he was looking down at them with utmost interest.
"This is the first time I've ever felt this way. Or better yet, this is the first time I've ever allowed myself to feel. I worry about you when you don't take care of yourself, and I'm angry at you when you refuse to listen. I get frustrated when you're being stubborn and I… I get jealous when you show Lee a bit of attention that I know I don't have the monopoly of," Sai said under his breath as he clenched and unclenched his fingers through hers.
The mere thought that they were actually in a very intimate state of foreplay by Gifu's rules was making Sakura's head spin. She looked away from him,
Sai tried to meet her eyes by peering at her face. "I'm not sure how the natural order of things go when it comes to this kind of situation, but I just wanted you to know how I feel. You don't have to answer right now. I know you have a lot in your head as of the moment. I just wanted you to know. That… you know, I feel that way. About you."
And how was a girl supposed to respond to that?
Sakura gritted her teeth so hard she swore she chipped her molars. She had never had this kind of experience before. The only situations that came close to being confessed to were Naruto's annoying jokes and pick up lines. And then of course there was her life-changing love confession to Sasuke…
But never this… Not ever anything like this.
Sai was watching her with eyes clouded over by something that came close to despair. And it took her everything to look him in the eye out of respect for his feelings.
But to simply reject them…?
More so accept them?
What was she to do?
She closed her eyes tiredly and leaned her forehead against his. "I don't know what to do, Sai. I'm sorry."
"You don't have do anything. I just wanted you to know. To tell you honestly, I wouldn't know what to do after this if you accepted or rejected me. So… yeah… "
Sakura could feel the tip of his nose brushing against hers, and she didn't know what else to do but pull back and make some lame excuse to get away from this uncomfortable setting.
She didn't have to think of an excuse much.
Because the next thing that happened was enough to make both her and Sai forget everything that had happened for the past week.
Because in one moment it was just the two of them, and then the next moment they could hear a faint explosion from a few feet above them, and the next thing they knew, Sai was covered with a generous amount of slime, and on his head was a white slug that Sakura thought she would never, ever see again.
"Katsuyu-sama!" Sakura suddenly cried as her hands let Sai go out of instinct.
Sai instantly wiped the slime out of his eyes. "What? What's going on?"
Katsuyu's eyes turned from Sakura to Sai, and to the way Sakura had her legs straddling Sai in a position that could have made anyone who saw them think. "Ah… I must have picked a wrong time to appear."
Sakura scrambled off Sai's lap, and if it weren't for the elation that she was feeling at the moment, she would have died of embarrassment. "Katsuyu-sama! It's been a while."
The slug hurriedly wiggled herself down to Sai's lap. "I know. I bear good news," she said.
Sai met Sakura's eyes before they both looked down at Katsuyu expectantly.
"Tsunade-sama is back."
TBC