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Though I was endlessly curious about what was being said between my father and the three ancient vampires in the upper level of my home I was more invested in paying attention to Bella. It occurred to me that these moments might be the last ones I was given with her. I was not about to waste them.

Her eyes were soft and warm, so comforting and gentle. I fell into them, lost within their depths and tenderness. Below the eyes, the perfect slope of her nose, the ever-flushed cheeks and then one of my favorite parts, her perfect, full lips. Because I could not help myself I lowered my face to hers and kissed her slowly. I was gentle with her, wanting to communicate love rather than urgency. Every move she made, every point of contact between her lips and mine seemed earth shattering. I was drowning in her scent, her heat, her silken touch. I wished to stretch those moments forever, to make them last until the end of eternity.

The fact that it was an impossibility struck me forcefully and caused me to pull away from her. She looked surprised and confused. I took another long moment, staring into her eyes, the most beautiful things this earth had ever seen and then grabbed her face and kissed her vigorously. I pulled her close, pressing my body against her as closely as I could. I needed her close, I needed her now. The qualms I had against making love to her seemed foolish now. I wanted to be with her, as close to her as completely as was possible. I could have kept from hurting her, I could have controlled myself. I wished with every fiber of my being that I had taken my opportunity to be with her in every single way possible. Lust was a part of it, surely, that was undeniable. But there was something deeper, a physical need to place my skin against hers and feel her warmth upon me. A need to breathe in tandem with her, to watch her fall asleep in my arms again, to get closer to her than I could to anyone else.

It was possible that now I would never get the chance.

"Could you please stop slobbering all over each other, its disgusting," Jane said dryly, her high voice sounding cutting even as it rang sweetly. I turned and glared at her before placing one final kiss upon Bella's lips and then holding her against my chest. Her heart was pounding in her chest, thumping hard and fast as her breathing slowed. She was clutching to me as desperately as I was clutching to her. I wondered if she was thinking along the same lines as I was.

It wasn't until after this that I realized my father was returning. They hadn't taken very much time to catch up. It wasn't long enough. The brothers were all calm and content now, happy to have seen their friend and discussed their current life. But the coming business was on the horizon of their minds. They would soon turn their attentions back to Bella.

They approached us slowly, my father first and the brothers in tow. They all noted Bella's and my proximity and Aro raised a questioning eyebrow. He was not surprised that we wanted to be close to each other, only that we had managed to do it without Bella getting hurt.

The guard stiffened at the presence of their masters. Their thoughts suddenly centered around the wills of their masters and nothing else.

"Edward, your father has told us some very interesting things about the life you created here. It is wonderful to see you all flourishing so. And yet this life you have created has lead to exposure. We have no choice. She knows too much about us now to be allowed to simply roam free. Think of the things she could tell people," Aro reasoned. I could not. I would not. I didn't care what was reasonable or logical. I cared about Bella and my love for her. My knowledge of the risks clearly had not dissuaded me so far.

"I wont," Bella said, speaking for the first time since their arrival. All eyes left Aro and went to tiny Bella, resting in my arms. She looked so strong then. Her eyes were set and resolved, her heartbeat slow and steady. I knew she could not be as calm as she pretended to be, but her strength made her so vibrant she seemed inarguably persuasive.

"Little Isabella, I am sure you believe that. But you would be surprised what a person will say under duress," Aro responded. She shook her head.

"I―" she began.

"My dear, I am sure you think you are different. And it is true, as far as I can tell you are quite the little creature, and yet I cannot take chances. We cannot make exceptions. Unless Edward intends to change you, we cannot leave here with you alive."

I could not change her. There was an endless list of reasons I would not do it, starting with the unimaginable pain she would experience, and continuing on to encompass the loss of her soul, the things she would never get to experience, the life she would miss and on.

"No. I wont do that to her," I said.

"You would rather see her dead than change her? You claim to love her and yet you cannot commit to keeping her with you for eternity?" Aro asked. Before I could respond, Marcus spoke up.

"It is because of this love that he keeps her human. As difficult as their relationship is, he does love her fiercely, of that I am certain. Their claim to each other is very final. Even in death I am not sure they would release their hold on each other."

I looked into his mind and saw in it a reflection of love. There was something inside Marcus that tied him to that one emotion. Perhaps it was his constant exposure to that emotion through sensing relationships but somehow he managed to keep a hold on it. It was the only emotion he managed to hold on to. Compassion was gone, mercy, caring, sympathy had left him. But love, the strongest and purest of good emotion still found a foothold somewhere in his ancient body. Amidst the cold sense of justice, the self serving interest in his wants and needs, the loyalty he felt to no one other than his brothers and himself and the lust for blood that pounded through him and caused him to murder, there was something warm.

He felt badly for me. Love was sacred in his mind, though he would never admit it aloud.

If I thought appealing to that sense of purity for that one emotion would do us any good, I would have pleaded with him endlessly. But I knew that if I were to bring that up, mention love and his true opinion of it he would only become angry. I wished there was a way to ask him to help me without exposing that particular sentiment to the whole room. I knew I could not. So I kept quiet.

"You may take a moment to say goodbye to her," Aro informed me. Those words were like being struck.

"Now? You're going to kill her now?" I asked, incredulous. They were not going to kill her ever but I thought that if they gave us a few days I could at least think of something, some way to keep her safe from them. But they wanted to take her now. Take her light from the world; make it a bleaker, darker place. I simply could not allow it.

"No time like the present," he countered. The smirk in his eyes made me growl. He responded with a sly smile.

"I already told you, she is not for the taking."

Her narrowed his eyes at me and glanced at Alec and Felix. Their faces contorted into twisted smiles.

"No," I repeated. But they were already advancing on us. Alec and Felix came to Bella and I. I tightened my hold around her. I would not just let her go.

But then I was struck with unimaginable pain. My whole body seized and I was unable to move. It was Jane's power. She was torturing me through her mind, using her talent against me to bring me to my knees. I was no longer able to protect Bella if I could hardly move myself. I was clenching my fists against my sides, trying to keep from screaming in agony and somewhere, seemingly a universe away, I felt Bella being snatched away. But I couldn't concentrate. Every thought I had was shattered with pain.

And then suddenly the world came back into focus. I had the feeling it wasn't exactly Jane's power lessening as it was the scent of her blood in the air.

As hard as it was to resist her when all I could smell was her blood under her skin it was impossible when her blood overflowed into the air. The scent was maddening, but it brought me to reality. The pain was immense, but the need for her blood seemed to rival the all-consuming anguish. Jane stopped torturing me a moment after my eyes snapped open. I looked over to my Bella, my darling girl. She was cradled in the arms of Felix as he drank her down. I growled, unable to control myself and sprang at them. I knocked them both to the floor, separating them. I wanted so badly to punish Felix. And yet her blood was screaming. Her scent filled me. I felt hunger like nothing ever before pull at me.

She was still breathing, her eyes still open. Her heartbeat was slowing. I wanted her blood, wanted to taste her. But when her chocolate eyes turned to me all thoughts of bloodlust were gone from my mind. It broke my heart. She was dying. I could hear it in the slowing of her heart, the gasping way she was breathing. But to see it in her eyes, to witness through the windows to her soul the process of her life slipping away literally pained me.

In a moment she would start to scream. She hadn't lost enough blood to die. Her body would change into something new, something different. Her soul would vanish and she would walk this earth, damned, until the day we all perished.

Her mouth opened. She was trying to speak. Nothing came out. A tear slipped down her cheek and hit the floor, followed quickly by another. I dropped to my knees by her side. I wanted to hold my breath and keep from wanting to finish the job and kill her. I couldn't. But even as I wanted her blood, wanted its taste in my mouth, those tears, that look of agony on her face was more than enough to subdue that craving.

No one moved for a moment. The brothers and the guard stilled completely, watching the exchange that was to follow. My family's thoughts were suddenly silent, anticipating the next moments as the guests were.

"Bella?" I asked quietly. She closed her eyes slowly before opening them again, more tears splashing down her face. She drew a shaky breath.

"Love you," she whispered. I lowered my lips to her forehead, her cheek, her lips. So close to the place her blood was spilling and pounding. I brushed away her tears with my lips, wanting to calm her. I didn't know what to do.

And then suddenly her body seized. She froze, and for an instant, the world froze with her.

And then it shattered.

The air was filled with the most heart wrenching sound the world had ever heard. I was tempted to cover my ears, but that would have meant pulling away from the woman I loved, and I refused to do that.

And then a thought struck me, and even though I wanted to remain calm and not scare Bella, I growled ferociously. The thought came from Aro. This was what he had wanted. At first Bella's existence has meant nothing to him, a human who needed to be eliminated and nothing more. But when he touched Carlisle's arm while they were speaking he discovered things about her that intrigued him. Her immunity to the talents of my entire family made him wonder. Her potential seemed worth the hassle of changing her.

I looked up at him with hate in my eyes. He looked at me, as though he did not know what was going on, this false innocence I found disgusting. But as angry as I was, as full of rage and hate as I was, the woman whimpering on the floor was more important that that. I pulled her into my arms and she let out a tiny shriek. She was not going through the most horrid pain of any person's existence on the floor of my living room. Alice silently thought an image of her bed to me and I nodded, picking Bella up carefully, trying not to jar her more than necessary.

She wasn't screaming then, only gasping desperate breaths, crying nonstop, crying out occasionally. I laid her in Alice's bed and watched as her body began to writhe, to try and purge itself of both the vampire venom that was coursing through her system and the human element of her body that was holding her back. I knew that everyone had followed us here, my family, the Volturi and their guard. I did not care. They were not important. The only woman I would ever love was being changed, forced into excruciating pain and she probably had no idea what was happening to her.

As much as I did not want to see her in this life, as vehemently as I would have protested this, I could not kill her. Between watching her through three days of pain and being with her forever with all the consequences that would follow or killing her I simply couldn't do what was right. She didn't deserve the hell she was in, nor did she deserve a life of eternal damnation. But I couldn't kill her. I simply couldn't. She was too precious, too sacred to be taken from the world. If I killed her, ended her life there on the floor, or here in Alice's bed I would need to die myself. I could not survive without her now.

She had closed her eyes then, breathing hard, panting almost, tears streaming down her face. I heard people leave as Bella shifted again, pain on her face. Carlisle and Aro were the only ones who stayed.

"If there is anything I can do, my son, please tell me," Carlisle said softly. I could feel him watching me; hear his pitying thoughts as they raced through his mind. He pained for Bella as he saw the change take her. He pained for me having to watch the woman I loved in anguish. So much hurt and no relief in sight. Three days of this torture. It was impossible to tell how sane I would be by the end of those three days.

After speaking his words Carlisle left, leaving only Aro as the unwelcome party. He stood in silence for a long time, his thoughts racing and jumbled. I did not want to waste my energy sifting through them. Bella was more important than he was.

"Quite the exquisite creature, if I do say so myself. You have chosen quite the interesting woman for your mate. Isn't it better now that she will be as you are, immortal, so she can share forever with you?" he asked. It pained me to do so, but I turned from Bella to respond to him.

"Do not attempt to lie to me about your motives, Aro. You did not have her changed because you want either of us to be happy. She is an experiment; a promising new vampire that you are hoping will be an asset to your team when the time comes for her to join you. Hear me now, Bella is an independent woman, free to make whatever choices she wants and do as she pleases. But with that in mind, she is also mine. Do not think you will take her from me. I have already told you, you cannot have her."

His face remained even and slightly amused, as though my words were entertaining.

"Edward, I wouldn't dream of stealing your lovely Bella away from you. But unless I am wrong, and I have not been wrong in quite some time, she will be quite the powerful woman once she is changed. You said so yourself, she is free to make her own choices. If she chooses to come to us, for power and renown, I would not refuse her. Such a pretty little thing should never be denied her wishes," he drawled, looking at her far more closely than I was comfortable with.

"Get out," I growled, through clenched teeth.

"What was that?"

"GET OUT," I repeated, meeting his eyes and watching him react. He was not surprised at my anger, only the way I was shaking, how close I seemed to be to snapping. It was true I was on edge. I could hardly control the fury within me, the rage boiling under my skin like a fever. The only thing that held me back, the only thing, was Bella. She needed me now and she would need me after the change. I would not leave her because I was foolish enough to attack one of the Volturi. He nodded with a sly smirk on his face and then exited the room, joining the others downstairs. I already knew they would not be leaving until Bella was changed and they had a chance to persuade her to go with them to Italy.

It was true, if it was power she craved she could easily acquire it from the Volturi. They could open doors to her no one else could, bring her to a world where she would be revered and respected. If that was what she wanted…I would have no choice but to let her go, as I had always known I would if she chose someone other than me. It would kill me. I would never get over it, but if she wanted to go I would not stop her. I would beg for her not to go, plead on my knees, promise her anything she could ever want if she would but stay with me, but I would not force her. That was not my way.

Turning my attention back to the woman shaking and moaning on Alice's bed I stroked her forehead, which was hot and slick with sweat and watched as she shuddered. She opened her mouth again and nothing came out. Silence lay heavily upon us for a few moments, followed by another heart breaking scream.

I did not remember ever crying in my human life, nor was it possible to cry as a vampire. But I felt close to tears as I watched her in pain, shrieking, begging for it to stop and knowing that it wouldn't for days. My body hurt as she writhed and screamed, clinging to the hand I had placed in hers, squeezing with all her might to help dull the pain that would not leave her.

Her body was dying, giving way to something else that would soon take its place. She would no longer be the human I loved. She would be like me, a vampire, an immortal creature. Would that really be so bad? Having her as indestructible as I was, as strong and fast as I was? Never having to be careful not to break her or pull away from her when all I really wanted was to draw her closer.

But it was so selfish of me to sit and want those things so vehemently when she was in anguish. Death would claim her humanity and her soul, leaving behind a woman I would love for the rest of eternity if she would let me, but who knew if this was what she wanted? Would it have been her choice to be changed into a monster if she had been able to choose? Would she want to suffer so immensely only to be a creature that was damned as I was?

Would I be enough to make her pain, the loss of her life, the things she would miss, all tolerable?

Her eyes opened and stared at me, wide and still beautiful. There was recognition in them along with agony, and that seemed to make things worse. To know that she was hurting so much and she knew me, knew I was here, recognized my face through that pain…it was unbearable. I brushed my fingertips over her face slowly and she closed her eyes again, clenching her jaw. She squeaked, trying to keep a scream in.

"Oh my love. Let me go get some ice for you," I said softly, afraid to even be loud around her for fear I would hurt her more. I rose to go downstairs and as I reached the door she gasped again.

"Stay," she whispered. I looked back at her and she was looking at me. She took a deep breath and then spoke again. "I don't…need ice…just…you."

There was nothing could do but go to her. I went back across the room and sat on the edge of the bed with her, touching her face and just being with her, hoping that was some sort of comfort.

That day passed so slowly I didn't think there would ever be such a long day for the rest of eternity.

I was wrong.

The next day was infinitely worse than the first. It seemed there was not a single moment in which she didn't scream or shout. Her tears were constant. She was shrieking, filling the air with constant noise and there was nothing I could do for her. I desperately wanted to take her pain away. If it were possible to take it into myself I would have. But all I could do was watch.

Alice stopped by once during that second day to attempt to relieve me of my duty of watching over Bella. I refused to leave. The thought of her screaming and not being there to at least attempt to comfort her make me feel uneasy and almost physically ill. I knew Alice was acting under the best intention, but I simply couldn't leave her, even for my own sanity. I did have Alice go retrieve some ice and Bella seemed to enjoy a bit of relief when it was passed over her burning skin.

The change was like a preview of the fires of hell; a sort of warning that should you die after being changed you would have only that to look forward to. It made me angry to think of her being doomed to the fire and brimstone because of the selfish motives of an ancient vampire with no thoughts of anyone but himself.

I promised myself I would save my anger until after Bella was changed and not in constant misery. When that time came I was not completely sure what I was going to do. I didn't know if there was anything I could do other than be angry. I had time to think about it, and if in the end there was nothing to do but brood and retain hatred for the conniving minds that had put my mate in such a position, that was what I would do.

As night fell she began to call my name. It made me ache to hear her scream for me and know there was nothing I could do. I ran ice over her skin but she seemed not to feel even that minor relief. I sang to her, songs I had learned over the years, anything I could think of. I didn't know if it was registering to her that I was even speaking, but I hoped that it was. She hadn't opened her eyes in hours but I wanted her to know I was still here with her. I didn't want her to think she was alone.

I told her I loved her an uncountable number of times. I told her how beautiful she was, how magnificent, how glorious every chance I got. When she was quiet, in the rare moments that held her silence, I told her these things. I didn't know what kind of comfort she would get from them, but I didn't know what else to say to her.

The night passed and broke into day. The sheets were drenched in her sweat and had her blood and tears on them. The room stank of death and a pungent sweet smell that was the very essence of Bella. She had stopped thrashing so much, finding simply squirming slightly and crying out to be enough. It was almost worse than when she would scream and writhe about. It was as if she was giving up, finally just accepting her fate and no longer fighting for her life. Death was taking her, bringing her to another existence and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She was done trying to overcome what was taking her over. She was too weak to fight it anymore. She probably thought she was dying, if she was able to form a coherent thought. What would she think when she woke from the pain and found herself a vampire? Would she hate me for not killing her when I had the chance? Would she ask me to end her life after she awoke, knowing what she was? Would she choose our way of life, or become a killer so like the heartless Volturi?

So many questions, and none of them would be answered for at least a day, if not more.

She was quiet for the last day. She whimpered and whined, occasionally letting out one single scream, but they were always short lived. Her tears were constant as they had been the other days, her skin just as hot as it had been from the start. No one stopped by this day. Her body was finally finishing what it had started. She would no longer be human in mere hours.

Through this day I was too afraid to fill the quiet. I didn't know what to say to her. I wanted to tell her something that would be meaningful, that she would remember even after the change, even after the pain had ebbed. But there was nothing. I had no words left in me. I had nothing left in me but the love for her I was clinging to so desperately. It was all I had left of my sanity. My love for her was what was keeping me from going stark raving mad. I needed it, needed her more than any other time. She was here, though she was in agony, but it was enough. My love for her kept me tethered here. The feelings I had for her had gripped me in so many places, that it was impossible to simply disappear within myself as I wanted if she was still here. If she had been dead it would have been no trouble, but for the moment, she was here and with me and thusly I could not go.

Through the last hours she fell into a sort of sleep, closer to catatonia really. She hardly moved beyond the constant rise and fall of her breath. She didn't make a single sound. It was disconcerting really, to know she must have been conscious, there was no way she could have slept, and yet she lay there unmoving and silent.

That last night was passed uneasily. She was too still, to quiet, for my liking. I would not move her or ask her to speak though, I would not incite more pain than she was already in.

The last few hours were the hardest. Knowing that so soon would be the most beautiful woman in the world, no longer technically a woman but a vampire, a creature that could rip a woman such as she had been apart made me uneasy. She would be different in body, but would she be different in mind as well? Would her heart have changed and want different things? The change was just that, a drastic altering of everything you were. I sighed as the sun began to rise. This was the eye of the storm. It was not over, only half way through. We had gotten through the first part of it, managed to hold on while it raged around us. But what if we couldn't hold out for the second half?

As the day grew on I waited for her to come back to me. Her breathing had stopped, her heart had ceased it feverish pounding. Her body was dead. But she was not.

I estimated the time she was changed to be around eleven in the morning. Eleven came and went and still she did not rouse. When noon went by I gently pressed my hand against her forehead. Her skin was the same temperature as mine, cold as death. She was like me now, she had to be. She had lasted through the change; she had managed to survive the pain of it, the burning fires under her skin. But she was not opening her eyes.

"Bella?" I said quietly. She did not stir. My hand trembled as I gently shook her. Still nothing.

My sharp intake of breath was the only sound in the room; my stumbling to the door, trying not to stare at the woman I loved on my sister's bed but finding that impossible was the only movement. I staggered out the door, into the hall, falling over twice on my way down the stairs. I had been beside her for almost two hours and she had been…dead. Her body had indeed given up, but not to being a vampire, to death. I should have known something so pure and wonderful could never be turned into something so grotesque as I was. Angels could not fall so far as to be one of my kind.

I fell once more on the way away from her, and this time I stayed down. I simply could not stay on my feet. I lay there on the floor, not breathing in order to keep her scent from my nose and mouth. She had saturated this part of the house, her scent filling it. I convulsed as I lay there. I could not move of my own volition. The world was empty now. There was nothing for me here.

"Edward?" Alice's soft voice seemed too loud then, too real for this moment.

"Go away, Alice," I replied. I didn't recognize my own voice. It was empty and strained, so pained it hurt to hear it.

"You have us," she whispered.

"I have nothing."

She was dead. The love of my life, the most wonderful creature ever to grace the planet with her footsteps was dead. Her light had been extinguished, but only after days of insufferable pain. Her last moments had not been pleasant or calm, but filled with anguish and the minor relief I could give her with ice and promises of love.

"Edward…please," she said again.

I shook my head and finally looked up into her butterscotch eyes.

"Please what, Alice? What would you have me do? Go on without her? Live without the only person I have ever loved? You want me to exist here on this earth, damned, without the one person who ever made me feel like there might be a reason for it, who ever made feel like maybe I wasn't as wretched as I know myself to be. If Jasper were dead would you go on? Could you continue living like nothing had happened? Would you be able to get over it? We both know you wouldn't. The pain would consume you until either you found a way to kill yourself or simply starved to death. Since we have the Volturi conveniently located in our living room I thought perhaps I could make quick work of it and end it here."

"I know this hurts, Edward, but you must understand―"

"No, Alice you must understand," I said, finding the strength somewhere to get myself up from the floor and stand, leaning against the wall. "If she isn't with me, I don't want to go on."

My body was still shaking, unable to understand that she was dead and accept the loss of someone I needed so physically. We looked at each other across the hall for a moment and then she took a step toward me. Her eyes were so soft and full of pain and pity.

"She's gone, Alice," I murmured.

I had to say it to believe it.

She was gone.

She was dead.

My Bella, my love, my mate was gone.

I could not weather this storm.