The Secrets They Keep
Heads' Dormitory, a week before Christmas
Lily had felt over her head in work in the few weeks leading up to the Winter Holidays. Drowning so much, in fact, that she barely left time for anything else. Her friends didn't see her except in class, James was noticing her presence less and less in the Heads' Dorm except when their duties brought them briefly together, and she was even to the point where she was on the verge of neglecting Remus. On one of the few Saturdays that they were allowed into Hogsmeade, he had to physically drag her out of the castle in order to spend time with his girlfriend outside of class. Of course, Remus knew from experience that Lily was often like this, but it didn't usually set in until closer to exam time. It seemed, however, that the stress of Heads duties and it being seventh year were nearly tearing Lily to pieces.
In fact, Lily had forgotten her meeting with James and the portrait to change the password for their common room. This allowed pretty much anyone to force their way into the Heads' Dorm (their portrait too busy arguing and fighting against their captivity to do anything about it), which was what Alice and Mary had just done. To their surprise, they found James and the other Marauders already inside.
"You could have just knocked," James laughed as the two girls scrambled inside. "No need to force entry."
"The last time we did that, we stood out there for twenty minutes!" Alice exclaimed as Mary said, "I guess you guys didn't get around to changing the password this week?"
"I tried, but they wouldn't agree to anything f it was just me. They like to disagree too much."
"And Lily was…" Mary trailed off, asking the question.
James hesitated before he answered. "…busy. She's not around a lot."
"Is she not her now?" Alice asked.
"She's in her room, I think." James seemed to feel really awkward answering the two girls' questions, like he was giving answers to something he shouldn't know. "Right, Remus? You talked to her when you came in, right?" It would have been almost laughable that James needed all of this reassurance, if he didn't look so nervous while asking. Mary and Alice took no notice, but Sirus, who knew his best mate inside and out, had picked up instantly. He was still tempted to laugh, but Remus was looking at him with that look that made him keep his mouth shut tight.
"I don't know if having a one-sided conversation is exactly the same as talking to someone," Remus replied stoically. Again, Mary and Alice seemed to take his tone at face value, but Sirus could tell that Remus was concerned – or maybe confused – by Lily's actions. "I don't even know if she knew I was in the same room as she was."
Mary grabbed Alice by the hand and began to pull her over to Lily's room. "We'll get her out. She can't stay in there forever."
"Good luck with that," one of the boys called to them as they were entering Lily's room. "She's a stubborn one."
"Do you think they'll actually be able to get her to come out?" Peter asked once he was sure Mary and Alice couldn't hear him.
"Pete, Evans is the most self-absorbed being I have ever met," James replied with obvious contempt in his voice. "All she can think about is how to make herself look good in front of the professors. She has no concept of fun, and will even neglect the duties that no one knows about to fulfill those that no one cares about but everyone sees."
Sirus finally cut James off, seconds before Remus got defensive and moments before any of her friends would have heard.
"Careful, James," he said in his most sarcastic, dry tone of voice, "or you'll drop the act in front of the girls and show everyone how you truly feel."
That was the closest Sirus had ever come to letting out what he truly thought of James motives, and Remus peered over at his curiously. However, no one had the chance to say anything because at that moment, Alice and Mary walked triumphantly out of Lily's room, dragging the girl in question behind them.
They shoved her onto the couch in the empty seat next to James, which caused Sirus, Remus, and Peter to send warning glances at each other. However, Lily just slumped down in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest.
"The Head Girl surfaces again," James commented briefly. The other three boys waited for the blow up, but it never came. Lily didn't even look his way but addressed her friends instead.
"I was trying to get everything together for the Yule Ball. I thought you guys would appreciate that."
"Some of us will," James muttered under his breath before he could stop himself. "Although I'm sure one of us would rather spend time with our friends because he or she is not staying." He looked pointedly over to the couch where Mary had plopped down next to Remus. Lily followed his gaze, and upon seeing where it fell, she became confused.
"But I thought you were staying, Mary," she said as her brows furrowed farther. "You said you were going to write to your parents and ask to go home later."
"I did, Lil," Mary replied sadly. "They wrote back yesterday and told me I was coming home before the Ball unless I wanted to be cut out of the family. I really don't fancy being disinherited because of a ball."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Lily wasn't outraged, just sad. It wouldn't be the same without Mary at the Yule Ball. She had actually been the one to start to hint that Lily and Remus should get together their fifth year.
"She did try to tell you!" James burst out without being able to stop himself. "You've just been too busy to notice."
Lily stared at James in shock for a minute before slowly standing and taking a step back. James stood too, as if attached to her. They stood there in their own little world for endless seconds before Sirus pushed them gently toward the portrait hole.
"Why don't you set the password?" he suggested.
"Let's set the password," Lily echoed dimly before following James out.
"How can you be so blind, Evans?!" James exclaimed as soon as the portrait had swung closed behind them. "You've been ignoring your friends all year!"
His words seemed to snap Lily out of whatever world she had become lost in.
"Maybe if your stupid pranks hadn't drained me of all my strength," she snapped back.
"Give it up! Two pranks don't account for your lack of care. Just admit it: you're failing as a friend."
"Why does it matter to you so much?" Lily asked tartly.
"Because they're my friends too, and I've noticed that they're miserable. Remus has been moping around ever since school started because you won't say two words to him. Mary's been so gloomy this month worrying about the Ball and her parents, and it nearly kills Sirus to see her like that. My best mate is not meant to be unhappy, Evans!"
Lily didn't reply, she couldn't reply. The force of James' words nearly blew her off her feet. He was right, something in her mind told her. He was right. Sure, she had noticed that the group dynamics had been off for a while but had never bothered to figure out what was wrong. She had been a horrible friend lately.
James watched the girl in front of him, just waiting for her to reply. He was expecting her to get defensive, to deny all of his claims, insist that she was the perfect friend – perfect just like in every other way. Instead, he saw how carefully she was digesting his words, and then to his surprise, he saw her realize that he was right. That nearly knocked James off of his feet.
"How about 'honey'?" Lily asked slowly turning away. She was still in a daze and needed more time by herself to mull everything over.
It took James a minute to realize she was making a suggestion for the password, and she was nearly out of sight by the time he turned to the figures in the portrait.
Well, how about it?" he asked sternly. "Honey?" He hoped they would agree. Not that anyone ever came into their common room uninvited, he just felt better if there was a password in place. Plus, now that Lily had left, there was no way they'd agree to anything he suggested.
"So is that good enough for you?" the female figure asked the male sarcastically. "Or are you allergic to honey too?" The last word James had tried was "strawberry", which apparently the male was allergic to.
"No," the male replied begrudgingly. "Actually, I quite like honey. And it makes for a good fly catcher."
James almost sighed audibly as he gave the new password and made his way back to where his friends were waiting. That was much easier than anticipated – well, the bit with the new password anyway.