The Avenging of Natalie Laufeyson Chapter 14: Half-Breeds and Mutts, an avengers fanfic

"Stop being such a baby," Reggie scolded her older brother, smacking him upside the head.

"Stop being such a little sister," Puck retorted, squirming away from her fingers, which were not-so-delicately wrapping bandages around his wounded arm. He flinched, yanking the injury away from her. "Could you be any more indelicate?"

"Says the giant," she grumbled in turn. I watched the pair in fascination as Katydid, a few feet away, played with her sword. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that kid was running drills. But she was what, two?

"Closer to four, I'd say," Loki murmured, standing close beside me, hearing these questions in my thoughts. "But then, they're half-breeds. Their maturity levels could vary greatly; even from other immortals."

I tried not to let that make my steadily-growing headache any worse.

We'd set up camp again; or rather, we had cleaned up the camp that had been ruined by our previous battle. There was really nothing for it; we weren't going to get anywhere today, not with Bones the way she was. The White Wyr was unconscious again- she had woken a few times, briefly and fitfully- and Puck had bandaged her wounds after Loki pulled the spear from her leg. Loki had been ready to simply finish her off, but Puck had all but begged us not to- and had told us her name, owning up to the fact that he most certainly knew her- and I had stepped in as well. Truth be told, I wanted information; about those scars as much as anything else.

And so now, we were stuck with Puck and his merry gang of misfits and we had no idea how it had happened. I guessed that we couldn't send away Reggie and Katydid- when Loki suggested that, Reggie had given him the creepiest smile and just said 'Try it'- and really, there was no point in trying to get rid of Bones. We wouldn't want her and Fenrir regrouping, anyway.

So in the meantime, Loki and I were being silent and watchful, monitoring the every action of these newcomers in thoughtful quiet.

We'd noticed a number of things within the first few hours of knowing them; but the most central of them all in Loki's mind was the fact that they were all siblings and not half-siblings. He'd been rather surprised by that fact; it seemed that he'd been under the impression that Puck had been the product of… well, a fling, as it were. After all, Puck had been raised on Earth- so obviously, he'd been raised by his human mother- and such things were not all that uncommon. Mortals didn't live long enough for serious relationships with immortals; so most immortals were smarter than that (I tried not to take offense at this assessment, because it was true; I mean, look at all the hoops that we were going through just to make sure that I didn't die on Loki so early).

But they had made it clear to us that they had the same mother, and the same father. He was their brother, and they were his sisters. Simple as that. Loki concluded that it was most likely that their father was a Jotun who left his home world- at least for the time being- in order to be with their mother. So it was possible that he had a hand in raising them; something else that we hadn't expected. Abruptly, I found myself warming up to the guy a little more; anyone who could break away from the norm like that for the woman he loved was all right with me (though I guess I was a little biased).

They were all also very clearly trained in the art of fighting; if that wasn't made obvious by the way that they all carried lethal weapons. It seemed that it was pointless for us to try and train Puck as we had; though we had already known that he was a skilled archer, now that his sisters were around, he was also very casual about his use of magic. All of those training sessions we'd had, and really, it had been for nothing.

The boy was a very talented liar.

His sisters, however, I wasn't so certain about.

But the most obvious thing that we noticed about these new half-breeds was also the most unnerving. The pair of them were precisely like their older brother; in that they seemed to be just as immediately and vitally important to us as Puck had been. I was practically going into conniptions watching that little girl play with that sword; everything in me was screaming to wrench it out of her hands, to stop her, to keep her safe. Wrap her up in bubble wrap, if I had to, just make sure that she was never hurt, never injured, never died. Make sure she was safe.

The same applied to Reggie, though she was obviously quite competent with a blade. They were warriors, all of them, but I never wanted to see them in battle. Never wanted to see them risk it all, throw their lives on the line; at least, not without a really good reason. Which, clearly, they had.

I guess, being born as half-breeds, they'd seen their share of fights.

"Katy, fix your footwork," Puck warned as he stood, rubbing his hand across the new bandaging of his shoulder. "You look like a drunk penguin."

Katydid looked to him with wide, unblinking eyes. For a moment, I thought she'd act like any kid might- stick her tongue out at him, throw the sword down, or have some other kind of tantrum- but she simply turned back to her invisible enemies once more, adjusted her footwork accordingly, and returned to swinging her sword about. She didn't even say a word.

How does a kid that young know what 'drunk' means?

I'd given up on getting rid of the headache by myself and eventually just popped some painkillers (which of course we'd brought with us, what do you think we are, stupid?). Puck walked over to Bones, and Loki finally decided that it was time to stop observing and act. He stood, clearing his throat.

Immediately, all eyes were on him. Even Katydid turned to face him, planting the tip of her sword into the ground.

"So what, precisely, are you doing here?" He inquired of the two girls.

"Not that we aren't grateful for your help," I added, though I secretly wondered if we couldn't have done it alone. No, I didn't wonder. Some more arrogant part of myself knew that we could have.

"But we have a mission to fulfill," Loki added, meeting eyes with each of them in turn- even, I noticed, the smallest child- before carrying on, "And we are not entirely certain of what you believe your role is in said mission."

"Role?" Reggie asked; and something about her voice was just unnecessarily snide. She hooked her thumb through her belt and said, in a slightly cocky voice, "Simple enough. We're your bodyguards."

"Reg…" Puck grumbled, rolling his eyes, almost-but not quite- embarrassed. He sighed briefly as I looked to the younger half-breed, lifting my eyebrow. What about us, exactly, made us look like we needed bodyguards? I mean, if the Shadowslayers couldn't protect themselves, there really wasn't a lot of hope for the universe.

But Puck took a half-step forwards, partially in front of Reggie. In a voice that was slightly more political than his sister's had been, he amended, "They're here as guides, just as I am. They've seen the Faden before. They know where to find them."

I blinked. Now that was interesting. I'd always been curious about why Puck might need to see the Faden; and now he was saying that his sisters had, too? Even this little one, this small girl who looked so innocent and seriously-should-not-be-weilding-that-sword-where-were-you-raised-in-a-weapons-locker?

"They're here to help," Puck added. "And frankly, given the fact that you now have two prisoners-" He held up his wrist, confined by the Key, to illustrate his point- "And no other allies… well, maybe you could use that help."

"And what," Loki said frostily, making me turn to him. He was wearing his best poker face, giving away nothing. "Makes you think that we need allies?"

Puck opened his mouth again. His sister side-stepped him this time, taking a few long steps forward, putting herself directly next to Loki. Her head tilted to the left once, just quickly, as she smirked. "Simple, gramps," She replied.

I bristled. Gramps?

She poked a finger at him. "Because that Wyr Wolf who turned on you? He and his little buddy over there didn't trash you. He trashed my brother." She looked him up and down, red eyes gleaming. It was an odd mixture of emotions on her face: like she held nothing but arrogant disdain for what he was saying, but somehow she actually really liked him. Even though she didn't know him. "And you? You don't have a scratch on you." She jabbed a finger towards me. "You wanna get your pet human to the Faden. You want her safe. And you're gonna be just fine with letting a few strangers take some hits for her, aren't you?"

Loki studied her with eyes of steel; but her grin never faded or waned. It was an unfortunately accurate assessment of the situation; or, it would have been, if anyone else was talking. Much as I hate to admit it, Loki would have been just fine with a stranger taking damage just so that I could live. His nature hadn't changed so completely that he wouldn't put his own interests before everyone else's all the time.

But these weren't just any strangers. And, for some reason… he wanted to protect these kids, just like I did.

But an accurate assessment is an accurate assessment, and Loki had to admit that she'd definitely pegged him. And, instead of making him nervous of her insight… he found himself agreeing. Facts were facts. Puck was hurt, Loki and I were not. The Wyr Wolves were-mostly- defeated. And, by all appearances, these three wanted to help.

Not that we wouldn't be ready to fight them off, should they betray us.

Loki, however, did not make it immediately clear that he had already decided to allow them to come along (so long as I agreed). Instead, he inclined his head towards Katydid, who was staring directly at him, her hands still clasped tightly around her sword handle, keeping it buried in the dirt. "And do you really believe that a child should be allowed to accompany us on such a- as it has been made clear to us countless times- dangerous journey?"

Puck seemed inclined to agree, for he shot a nervous look back at Katydid. The little girl clearly knew that she was being discussed, for her head tilted and she studied Loki with a fervent intensity, but she said not a word. Reggie, however, rolled her eyes and flipped a small strand of her short hair out of her face.

"Katy can handle herself," She said, with a startling amount of confidence; and Katydid straightened a little under the praise. She nodded once in agreement.

I frowned. "I don't want a child's blood on my hands." I gauged Reggie briefly and admitted, "And while you may or may not be old enough to make your own decisions, the fact stands that your sister is most certainly a child." I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I can't allow-"

And I would've said more, if I hadn't had Katydid's sword pressed against the skin of my throat.

I didn't even see her move. One second, she was standing a few feet away with that blade in the ground, and the next, she was less than a foot away, sword tip pressed into my skin. I cursed, already flaring my shield, but it was too late. Katydid had already traced the thin blade in a shallow nick across the skin of my neck.

It was another blink-and-you'll miss it move that snapped the blade; but this time, it was Loki who had moved. The tip had just pierced skin before I found the ability to react, and I jumped back, out of the way, flaring my shield instinctively without really meaning to (it was programmed into me after all those months in Fraye's chair; feel pain, flare shield. It was only when I failed- or when her shadows put too much pressure on said shield- that I felt pain again). Loki's hand wrapped around the blade; it was sharp enough to cut into even his Jotun skin, but it was still thin, and a piece broke off in his grip.

"Sophisticated magic, illusions," Loki told Katydid, flinging the broken end of her blade to the ground. It clattered against a rock before falling into the dirt and sending up a small puff of dust. His face was stony and stern; his words a lecture, not praise, as he loomed above her. "Not something that should be practiced by one so young," he added.

She held his eyes with a defiance I hadn't seen since… actually, I'd never seen a defiance like that. Not on a face so young, at the very least. Loki held her gaze unyieldingly, no mercy and no forgiveness in his eyes. I knew why; and his next statement confirmed it for me.

"And what use would it be to you in combat?" He asked the little girl, towering above her. "It's already weakened you far more than either of us could have in that amount of time."

She seemed entirely unafraid, but I could see the sweat forming at her hairline, could see her face getting paler. Her face was emotionless, but it was clear that he was right; that little trick had cost her dearly. Illusions weren't the most powerful type of magic; but clearly, she was not the most powerful type of mage. Even Loki had struggled with them at her age (or at least around her age, as we still had no idea what it actually was).

He took a step forward. She tried to reposition herself- not take a step back, but plant her feet more firmly- but it was no use. Her knees gave out, and she fell onto the ground. Loki straightened a little, clasping his hands behind his back, satisfied that he had been proven correct.

Just after he had turned away, however, Katydid said the first words that I had ever heard from her. Her voice matched her eyes as opposed to her age; soft as a breeze, sharp as the now-broken sword she carried.

"Why would I need to carry on the combat?" She asked the words of Loki, but her red eyes were on me. She didn't smile, didn't act arrogant; her words were deadly serious. "If the illusion does its job, then the fight is already over."

Loki- his back to her, and his face to me- gave me a look. I gave him one back. Clearly not an ordinary family, then. He closed his eyes as if to try and forget that this had been his view on illusionary magic for a few hundred years now before rearranging his features into a stern refusal.

"I'm sorry," he told them. "But we cannot-"

"They come with us."

Loki looked to me. These words that came out of my mouth surprised me as much as they did him, but somehow I knew that I wouldn't take them back. I couldn't help it. The kid had done what she'd set out to do. She'd proven herself to us, even if it had weakened her. She was bound and determined.

And quite frankly, she had caught me off guard. Me. You had to be made of some seriously stern stuff to do that at all, let alone when you were two years old-

Four, Loki corrected me again. Whatever.

The Trickster looked me over once. I looked back at him. This was my decision, and I was sticking to it. After a moment, he nodded. "Very well," he said, turning back to the others- he was really only going to refuse them for my benefit, anyway, as it was really their lives to throw away if they so chose- and meeting each of their eyes in turn. "If you wish to come, so be it." He turned away again, saying over his shoulder, "But I expect you all to keep up. We will not slow our pace for you."

This was a lie, but it was a necessary one. We didn't want these kids under any delusions. But as Puck knelt down beside Katydid to make certain she was all right- and as she brushed him off- Reggie stepped forwards.

"Ha!" She barked. "Please. Hope you're hungry, runt, 'cause you'll be eating my dust before long."

I bristled a little at the derogatory 'runt' comment, but Loki didn't seem to mind. Actually, he was surprisingly unoffended, for him. Looking to her and tilting his head swiftly, he noted, "That's somewhat ironic, considering your stature, half-breed."

"Hey, at least I've got an excuse for being short. You, on the other hand, seem to have been born as a Frost Shrimp rather than a Frost Giant." She tsked and shook her head sadly. "It's okay, buddy," she added, patting his arm. "We're here for you."

The two traded insults in a way that would have rivaled even Tony and I on our best days as they walked away. Puck tended to Katydid, helping her to get to her feet and move somewhere that she could sit more comfortably. He retrieved the pieces of her sword and worked to repair them via magic, but it was clear that it would need repair from an actual blacksmith at some point in the near future. Seeing them parting off into groups like this, I took a few steps back and sat on the ground beside the White Wyr Wolf.

She remained with her eyes closed, her muzzle close to the dirt, lifting little clouds of dust with every breath. After a moment, I moved in front of her, sitting on my knees so that I could pretend to examine her injury.

"I know you're awake," I said in a quiet voice. "It's no use. We won't give you an opportunity to escape."

It took a moment, but resignation seemed to settle in. She puffed out a final breath that was longer than the others, a wolf's sigh, and let her silver-black eyes open. They trained on me almost immediately, without her lifting her head from the ground.

"My name is Natalie," I said, leaning back on my hand. "And you're Bones." It wasn't a question. She seemed to not care that I wanted an answer, anyway, because she looked away from me.

"I don't want to hurt you," I said, looking up at the sky. The others still seemed clueless- though for a second I swore that I saw Puck's eyes on us- and I added, "I just want answers."

Another sigh.

"Why did you attack us?" I asked her. "We've never done anything to you. We've never hurt you. You or Fenrir." I regarded her coldly for a minute, wondering what I'd do to get the answers, wondering if she'd ever shift to human form so that she could give them to me. "So why?"

She didn't even bother to be interested in my interrogation. I was the one who sighed this time, sitting upright again, back on my knees. I looked at her foreleg for a moment, then reached out and ran my fingers across the ladder-rung scars there. I could feel the fur of her leg, broken by the damage, the ruined skin.

She yanked her paw closer to her chest, pulling it out of my touch, without the slightest change of emotion on her face.

"I have them too, you know," I murmured. Her silver irises clicked on me, gleaming within the pool of black. I shifted my weight, so that I was only sitting on one knee, and lifted the other leg so that I could bring my ankle into view. I pulled up the cuff of my pant leg and there they were; the same lines, drawn into the skin, drawn with intent.

Bones looked at them for a full minute. A full minute in which I didn't move or say anything, in which I asked no questions and she gave no answers. And, just when I thought that maybe, maybe, she might shift forms, might respond…

She turned her eyes away, snorted, and closed her eyes again.

Well. That discussion was officially ended.

I sighed, stood, and moved away from our prisoner. There were other things to be done.

It was late, and the entire camp was sleeping.

Well, actually, half of the camp was sleeping. The other three members of the group- the three half breeds- were all wide awake, sitting huddled together, staring at the stars. They hadn't spoken in quite a while.

Reggie gnawed on her lip as she watched her older brother. He turned a piece of metal around and around in his hand, looking pensive. She cleared her throat pointedly.

"I know you're not entirely happy to see me," she announced, looking away from him, and up to the stars he studied. "But you can't say you didn't miss me. I won't believe you."

He turned to her. Given the fact that he was as tall as your average Frost Giant, and she was only slightly taller than the average human, she seemed fairly dwarfed by him; but he seemed only too used to that, for he pulled her into a sideways hug, leaning down just enough for the both of them to be comfortable in it. "Yeah," he grumbled. "I missed you, Reg."

She smirked. "You know you weren't gone that long… not to us, I mean."

"Figured as much," he said; but he shot a warning look towards the other sleeping members of the traveling party. Reggie cottoned on quickly; it was best not to say anything out loud that could be incriminating. She nodded- she'd already taken that into consideration, thank you- and carried on, "Katy's been getting headaches, though."

He winced, looking towards the little girl. Katydid wasn't really paying much attention, hovering between the waking world and dreamland, her eyelids drooping as she struggled to keep them open. He nodded grimly. "We should probably… you know." Shooting another, more fearful look towards the sleepers, he made a gesture between himself and Reggie, first tapping his forehead, then hers.

"Yeah," She agreed. "We probably should. Easier that way."

Puck pretended not to notice the gruffness in her voice; the way that she spoke just a little too hastily. Clearly, it wasn't only for Katydid's benefit that she suggested this. He turned away to hide his small smile, looking instead to his littlest sister, shaking her awake. Katy stirred, turning a bleary gaze up to him.

He took her hand; she wrapped her small fingers around it tightly, and he took Reggie's. The trio's eyes closed, and for a long minute, there was silence.

And then the three sighed in relief.

"Ugh, that is so much better." Reggie groaned, rubbing her temples with her two index fingers, as though she was trying to drill them into her skull. "Realms spare us if you ever die, Puck, because we would be so super-screwed it's not even funny."

"It gets better," he said gently. "Over time."

"One would hope."

Katydid wrapped her arms around her big brother, holding him tight. Puck smiled lightly, kissing her on the top of the head. "Yeah, I missed you, too, small fry."

The three were quiet again. And then Puck asked, "How's home?"

Reggie smirked; but it was a surprisingly pained gesture. She turned away so that her brother wouldn't see the sparks of anger on her face. "You mean, how's Ariel?" As Puck blushed a deeper blue, she waved a flippant hand. "She's fine. Barely even misses you yet." As Puck looked away, swallowing hard, she added, "Like I said. It hasn't been so long."

"I know."

"She doesn't even know that you like her."

"I know."

"You shouldn't put so much expectation on-"

"Reg, shut up."

"Up-shutting."

"Good."

Quiet again. Katydid looked between the two, studying them silently. She didn't say anything, but she didn't need to. Puck looked to her and smiled sadly. "Don't worry, Kat, we're not fighting."

"Not really," Reggie agreed.

"Not like we used to."

Katy looked to Reggie. Reggie looked back. "Not like you wish you still could," Katy added for her, then stood. Silently, she breezed off, into the woods, unsheathing her sword and brandishing it ahead of her; just in case.

Reggie avoided Puck's gaze as he turned to look at her. For a moment, he didn't say anything.

And then, "I wish I knew why you hated me sometimes, Reg."

"I don't hate you."

"You don't like me."

"You're my brother. I don't have to."

And then, because this was true, Puck fell silent.

And they watched the stars.

"Do we really have to move on so quickly?" Puck asked, not for the first time, intermittently glaring at Loki and I through his worried looks back at Bones. The White Wyr was limping along steadily; her leg had healed, for the most part, in a disturbingly fast fashion. Clearly, Fenrir would not be down for too long, either.

"We shouldn't stay in one place for too long," Loki said firmly. "We carry on."

He was right, and I knew it; which was why I had agreed to carry on. But I, too, was worried about Bones. Despite the fact that she was our prisoner- and an extremely uncooperative one at that, particularly seeing as she hadn't shifted out of wolf form since she'd lost the battle against us- she was still a living being. And I didn't want that to change just because we'd been a little impatient.

Still, she seemed to be faring well enough. She was even glaring at Puck now, every time he made his protests known.

Because really, we'd made this decision almost half a day ago. We were moving on, and there was nothing more we could do about it.

Loki's hand linked with mine as we walked. We talked together in our minds, not trusting the others with our words, not daring to speak out loud. The others didn't seem to mind this, didn't seem to care about the quiet. In fact, they practically seemed to prefer it; though Reggie was almost constantly humming to herself, none of the others talked amongst themselves, either.

We'd avoided the forest, at the girl's behest, and we were now traveling alongside it, moving in silence through the fields of flowers. And I do mean fields of them, everywhere, of a thousand different colors and kinds and shapes. It was almost hard to stare at the ground for too long; like you'd go blind if you watched that much brilliance.

It's interesting, Loki noted to me. But this journey was meant to be dangerous, correct?

Aye, I answered.

And yet, the only danger we have faced so far is the one that we brought with us.

I noticed the twinge of pain as he said this- his fury over Fenrir's betrayal was beginning to die into sadness after all these days- and I squeezed his hand. I couldn't promise him that no one would ever betray him, but at the very least, I could make sure he knew that I wouldn't. True, I replied. But then, they are watching us, aren't they? If, perhaps, these 'dangers' are orchestrated by the Faden themselves, then maybe they already know that we have put ourselves in danger. Perhaps they don't need to add anymore. Not yet, anyway.

Perhaps, Loki agreed. Or perhaps there is much more to come that we simply cannot see yet.

You wanted to do this.

As did you.

And then we didn't talk again for a very long time.

I watched Bones as she limped along. Beyond just refusing to shift out of her human form, she had also refused to eat or drink anything, no matter who tried to place food or water in front of her. She slept, but I doubted there was much she could do to stop that, as she needed her sleep to heal; but the way she was starving herself was already making her much weaker. I knew (because Loki knew) that Wyr Wolves could go quite some time without food, but still… this wasn't great.

I looked away from her, looked forward to the fields ahead of me. In any case, there was nothing I could do about it, and worrying certainly wouldn't help-

I missed a step as I jolted to a halt. Frozen in place for a moment, I could do nothing but stare ahead. My chest got tight. A few of my old wounds prickled; but the scars on my arm outright ached.

I turned away swiftly, staring at the flowers on the ground. Focusing on something beautiful.

Loki confirmed what I already knew, scanning the area where I had seen it with his own eyes. He saw nothing; nothing out of the ordinary. Keeping my hand in his but not daring to make any more contact, he told me, She's not real, Frost.

I know, I replied, feeling a wheeze beginning in my lungs. I closed my eyes to block out the images of shadows swarming inside of them. I know.

But the thing was… I didn't know. Because Fraye had been standing there. Staring at me.

"Oh, Natalie," she cooed into my ear; I jumped back as she appeared, directly beside me, smiling. "You should have let me die when you had the chance."

I was about ready to make a run for it- Loki could cover me with the others, claim that I was scouting ahead or something- when a small hand found mine.

A scream clogged in my throat- small hands and small fingers had crafted the shadows into weapons, that molded and shaped and formed them into an all-consuming darkness- but the hand was… cold.

Fraye's hands weren't cold. Not like that. I hadn't known what 'cold' was in those four months.

I looked down to the little hand in mine. Katydid's hand. The little half-Jotun was tugging on my fingers, looking up at me with large eyes. She suddenly seemed much younger than she had before, much more like a kid.

She lifted her other hand up to me; and inside it was something small, delicate. I lifted it gently out of her fingers, trying to hide the fact that my own were trembling, and let it fall into my palm.

It was a flower; just like one of the thousands that we were crushing beneath our feet, the ones that were bleeding their colors into the soil, leaking their beauty out to the world even in death. Small and white with a little dot of yellow in its center, it looked very common; almost like you could've seen them on Earth, too.

She mumbled something so quietly that I couldn't hear it over the sound of Fraye's soft snickers. "Come now, Natalie, you should know the truth about us children by now. You should know what we're capable of… when we grow."

I didn't ignore her- I couldn't- but I didn't look away from Katydid, either. Loki was tensed beside me, his hands on my shoulders, ready to stop me if something went wrong, ready to help me, ready to do whatever was necessary. Katy shuffled on her feet, kicked her foot back and dug the toe of her shoe into the dirt (she, unlike her older sister, actually wore shoes).

"Sorry," she said.

My eyebrows furrowed. Fraye snorted, making me shiver again and, just to spite her, I asked the little girl, "For what?"

She pointed at my neck, where her sword had nicked it. "I didn't wanna hurt you," she said in a gentle voice. It matched her age now, matched her small frame. "I had to." She turned away. "I hafta hurt people sometimes."

Strange, how I knew exactly what she meant, exactly what that felt like. How she seemed old and young at the same time. How she'd grown up and yet, somehow, retained a childhood innocence- indeed, a childhood in and of itself- that I had lost.

And then she was walking on, turning her eyes forward like nothing had ever happened. I watched the small half-Jotun and felt something inside me tremble. Fraye's eyes were still on my back, still in my mind, they were still staring inside of me, they were making my insides itch. I swallowed it back, pushed it all aside, and closed my eyes. I heard the others walking onwards, moving ahead of us, and I wished that I could move with them, but I couldn't, and yet…

Say you forgive her, said another voice. Say it's all right.

She's just a little girl, after all.

And I didn't know who that voice belonged to, or who it was talking about: Katydid or Fraye?

But I steeled myself and I walked forwards and, wishing I could say this to Fraye-because maybe then she'd die, maybe then I'd be left in peace- I said to the little girl, "It's all right. I have to hurt people sometimes, too."

She nodded like she got it and carried on walking.

Loki stayed at my side and Fraye laughed once before fading away again. I nodded at my husband- see, I'm fine, no need to worry, I'm okay- and he took my hand, interlocking our fingers, watching me intently.

But I walked on. I was shaking and I was sick and my scars hurt, but I walked on.

What else could I do?

It took me a long while to recover again- not the longest it's ever taken, not the shortest- but I did recover again. I remained in silence, speaking neither out loud, nor in my head, and I moved with determination. It was only when I felt a blister pop on my ankle that I found myself snapping back, once and for all, into the present.

I stopped for a moment to patch it up while everyone else settled down for lunch. Katydid, though she'd been quite the trooper, seemed completely exhausted, and she flopped onto the ground while her siblings chuckled and agreed to take turns carrying her for a bit. She seemed small and light enough to do so.

"You were right about privacy," I mumbled to Loki as we sat, a few feet away, in the flowers. They were among the first words I'd said aloud to him that day, further proving my point. "Because we're getting none of it."

Loki half-smirked and I sighed, pulling out some of the food we'd brought with us. (We'd figured that we might have to scavenge and hunt for food when we got here, but so far there had been very few opportunities; while we'd had the time, we hadn't really found anything other than a few fruits that Puck had sworn were completely harmless despite neither Loki nor I ever seeing them before.)

This privacy thing wasn't good. Puck and Fenrir both already knew about my little 'episodes', so I hadn't been all too worried about me having them while they were around; even if I didn't particularly like showing weakness around either of them. Now we had a prisoner who could not be allowed to see any such weakness, and two strangers who were much the same.

I'd needed to be away from that. Away from the people who put so much expectations on me. Away from the memories.

Though, admittedly, there were very few reminders here. And sure, I missed the Avengers- Natasha and Bruce, especially, my best friend and the one person who could be calm in any situation, but the others as well- but I didn't have them… there all the time. I didn't have them worrying about me. I didn't have them reminding me why they were worried. Reminding me of what I'd been through. I wasn't around my old home on Earth- that had been taken from me the day I delivered that pizza- or around my parents- around which I'd never been the same- or the Tower- that became another home that was ripped out of me- or even Asgard- that had a prison where Loki had been locked up, that had held him in darkness for so long- or any of it. And that was good.

But now I was around a lot of other people, too. Others who would wonder- like my human friends would have- what, exactly, was wrong with me, if I ever… lost it again.

I shook the thoughts out of my head; they did me no good. Instead, I looked forward in silence and ate without thinking, moving on autopilot, not entirely sure of what I was actually eating until I realized that I thought it tasted kinda funny.

I peered down at the alien fruit in my hands and, no longer having much of an appetite, I sighed, turning it about in my hands. But I couldn't look at food for long without needing to eat it, so, despite the fact that I was already full, I choked it down. It wasn't the best of eating habits, but what can you do? I was used to this by now.

Besides, I usually threw it up later, anyway.

I was so freaking sick of Fraye's influence in my life.

Katydid asked her brother for 'ups', which he obliged to, lifting her off the ground and holding her in his arms so that she could look around from the advantage of his height instead of her own. She seemed easily light enough to do so, but it kinda surprised me: she was old enough to come within inches of slashing my throat out with a sword, but she still asked her brother to pick her up? And why did it seem so natural, so… okay? Why was this child- this blend of contradictions- so right? It was like she could kill you or ask you for her stuffed toy in the exact same tone of voice, and it didn't even matter, because that was natural for her.

Fraye was the same way, in some respects. But, even knowing that there was a connection-that they were both scary little girls who could kill you in your sleep, that they shared the same dark hair and the same wide eyes that made my heart melt when I first met them- I couldn't see it. I couldn't be scared of this kid, even knowing that I should be, even knowing that it would be okay for me to be. I couldn't be.

What was wrong with that picture? I mean, I couldn't even hug Amy- my adorable little cousin- without briefly wondering if she was gonna send shadows through my heart. And yet, this kid- this total stranger- I trusted completely. Trusted with my life.

Well, whatever, the rest of my life was screwed up anyway; maybe it was screwed up just enough to explain this away, too.

"A little old for that, isn't she?" Loki asked wryly, noting my train of thought and putting it on a slightly more innocent track, inclining his head towards Katydid. Her brother was still holding her above the ground, and she was sucking her thumb. Well, actually, she wasn't so much sucking her thumb as she was chewing it; like she was trying to bite her fingernails but couldn't quite distinguish the difference between that and her skin. It was kinda cute, in that stupid-little-kid way.

I shrugged. "Immortals age differently, right? And we don't even know about half-breeds."

He nodded. "True enough."

And it was true. I had thought that Katy was maybe two, and Loki had thought of her as perhaps four; well, perhaps we were both right. Of course she could seem to act many different ages at once; her true age couldn't be determined by the number of years she'd lived. Not really.

I packed away what I hadn't eaten and stood again. Bones was staring off into space, her eyes glazed over, and I looked her over briefly as I made my way to the half-breeds. She wasn't looking so great; her fur had lost some of its shine, and she looked as though she didn't want to move at all; just lie there until the inevitable happened, and she wasted away into nothing. A few days without food or water could give that look to a person.

I wished it wouldn't, though. She was our prisoner; and how you treated your prisoners showed a lot about who you were. I'd been around far too many people who treated them badly (and Loki and I were usually the ones on the receiving end). I didn't want her to hurt herself; particularly since I wasn't going to do it. It was completely unnecessary.

But she was determined, so what else could I do?

"Pack your stuff," I told the half-breed trio. "We're moving out in ten minutes."

Loki had already shouldered his own traveling pack and was moving on to scout ahead. Reggie nodded, pulling out her staff- she didn't seem to have eaten anything- and stood, taking Katydid out of Puck's hands. He put together his own things- and Katydid's- before throwing his pack over his own shoulders and helping Katy thread her small arms through the straps of her own. The little girl pet the Wyr Wolf as she stood beside her, seeming to think nothing of it until Bones' hackles rose, and she growled, snapping at her tiny fingers… but purposely missing.

Neither Puck, Reggie, nor Katy became overly freaked out at this, and I couldn't escape the idea that they were all already part of a pack; that Bones was the adult wolf who warned off the pup when it got too rowdy. I, on the other hand, got a nervous spasm in my gut at the sight of those sharp teeth next to such a small girl. This wanting-to-protect-these-kids-with-my-life thing was getting to be a real nuisance.

The hybrids guarded the Wyr Wolf while I headed forwards to scout with Loki. Neither of us was worried about them running off on us, though perhaps we should have been. But Puck was bound to me by the Key on our wrists, and he was guarding Bones… who, quite frankly, was no longer in any kind of shape to be running anywhere.

Wrapping my pinkie finger around his- which made him roll his eyes, (how sappy and juvenile can you get?) even though he didn't seem to entirely want me to stop- I glanced towards him. His watchful stare was turned towards the forest that we still had not entirely cleared, but that we were going around, and that had thinned considerably on our trek. His eyes narrowed on the trees, and he turned away, mumbling something under his breath. His fingers twitched, and I saw him trying to send out tracer magic; but I could tell by the defeat inside of him that he clearly did not expect for it to work.

"Fenrir?" I asked, scanning the trees. I couldn't make out his tan-brown fur in the foliage; clearly, it was better camouflage than you'd expect.

"Hmm," he agreed, not opening his mouth. His eyebrows pulled together, and I could feel a coldness stirring inside of him, solidifying around his heart. I tried to think of a way to warm it, but I knew it was no use; there was nothing I could do to keep the world from hurting him, no matter how I tried. If my experience with Fraye had taught me anything, it was that no matter how powerful you are, there's always something in the world that's more powerful; and you will never be able to anticipate everything. Failure is inevitable, no matter your species. All you can do is manage the fallout.

Still- and I felt horrible for thinking this- it hadn't been my failure. I'd known that something was wrong with Fenrir. I'd known that he was bad news. But Loki had refused to listen, and now we were in this mess.

"Why?" Loki's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked up to him, but his green eyes were focused entirely on the ground. "Why would he want to kill us, Frost? It doesn't make sense! He is my friend, I've never hurt him… And Fenrir was never one to do anything without a reason…"

I pulled my lower lip in between my teeth and concentrated very hard on not thinking certain thoughts, biting down until it hurt. I had a theory. I had a few theories, actually; I didn't spend my time just sitting around and twiddling my thumbs. I'd been thinking long and hard about these very things- and I knew that Loki had as well- and I'd come up with a number of different things; some more plausible than others.

And at the bottom of the 'plausible' list, the least likely- and most hopeful- situation of the bunch, was the one that I really did not want Loki to know about.

I gave up on trying to not think the thoughts and threw walls around them instead. If Loki noticed, he didn't say anything, and it left me free to speculate.

It was one of those things that you don't notice, that you don't think about, at first. But the second you realize it, the second you see the connection, the pattern, it becomes the singular most obvious thing in the world: Fenrir had been in wolf form when he had attacked us. As had Bones; who was still in wolf form, who had refused to shift out of it, and who had looked like a wild, feral animal as she had charged us.

So simulation one was simple; there was something here, on this planet- be it the food or the water or the very air we breathed- that was hazardous to Wyrs. It made them go ballistic. Psycho. Turn-on-your-best-friend-and-try-to-eat-him-for-dinner-looney. It was the easy, blameless option. The one that Loki wouldn't be able to help but hope for. And I couldn't let him hope for it, because it was so unlikely (after all, now that Bones was a prisoner, she seemed entirely lucid, even if she was totally uncooperative). But it was hope. It was slim and it was stupid but it was hope. And if Loki held out hope for his friend, he could easily get killed.

And if those hopes were dashed, if he found out yet again that his old friend really was trying to kill him… that Fenrir really wanted him dead… then what would happen to him? I wasn't the only one suffering from PTSD, here; Loki's emotions needed a little babying, too. And I was precisely the person to do that.

There were a number of other, more reasonable options, however. Fenrir could want us dead for a slight that we hadn't known we committed, or could have been protecting Bones from us- perhaps she meant more to him than us, and if she wanted us dead, then we needed to be dead (I mean, who knew how the whole 'pack mentality' thing could work among Wyr Wolves?)- or… or…

Or something else. Something bigger. Something we couldn't quite see yet.

Still, even with these plausible scenarios, I didn't want to risk having Loki continuing this conversation; so I changed it, quickly, as subtly as I could. "I'm not sure," I said, sounding thoughtful. "My question is, why is he still here? What does he plan to do next?"

I watched the trees; and as they got progressively thinner, I thought I saw a brown flash between a few, scattering leaves. Loki's finger, which was still wrapped around mine, squeezed tighter as his whole hand tried to clench into a fist. "I believe that he is trying to figure that out himself," he muttered. "He is likely watching us to see if he can attack again without serious damage to himself." He sighed and ran his pale hand through his long black hair. "Say what you will of him, but he is nothing if not cautious. He will not try to harm us if he does not think that he will not gain the upper hand in some way."

I could see that this was hurting him, trying to think of his friend as an enemy, trying to turn all of the weaknesses that he knew against him. I wished I knew some of those weaknesses- some of the more psychological ones, particularly- but I didn't want to ask. I didn't want to use Loki to pick at Fenrir's scabs.

So I carried on. "What happens if he can't?"

"Then he will retreat. Regroup, perhaps, find other allies. And he will try again."

I frowned. I didn't like the idea of him finding other allies. Granted, we had taken him and Bones out easily enough, but we barely trusted our own allies at this point. It was already us against the universe; did the universe really need to add other players into the game?

"And how long will that wound on his back slow him down?"

I didn't realize how I'd said that- with a blunt, militaristic harshness- until Loki winced. It was so difficult for me to see Fenrir as anything but our enemy; but he was Loki's friend. I mean, how would I have felt, if April was suddenly coming at me with a knife?

Relieved, a sick, broken part of my mind admitted. Because then she'd be alive.

Okay, so April was a bad example. Natasha, then.

No, that was a bad example, too; because if the Widow came at me, she would have damn good reason to. So would any of my other friends, for that matter.

The thought seized my chest and squeezed my ribcage. Oh. Of course. I would think that all of my friends would have a good reason for trying to kill me.

So why wouldn't Loki?

I let go of Loki's pinkie finger and gripped his entire hand instead. "Whatever his reasoning is," I said firmly, making him blink and look to me, "It's not good enough." I turned my gaze to him and tried to burn my words into his brain. "The world is better off if you're in it."

He blinked again. His lip turned up at the corner, but he didn't say anything. He just lifted my hand up, turning it over, palm up, and bent down just a little.

Bringing my wrist to his lips, he kissed me gently, his lips just brushing against the 'L' that was formed by my scars. "Is it?" He murmured there. "Is it really?"

And then, before I could get a chance to answer, he released my hand and stalked forwards, moving swiftly ahead of me, leaving me behind.

I scowled- now really- and prepared to chase him down; but before I could, a voice sounded off from a short distance to the side of me- the opposite direction from the forest- and, snorting, said, "Don't bother."

I turned. Reggie was there, partially behind me but catching up swiftly. "He's too stubborn. He'd pick a fight with a Rhino if he thought he could prove a point to it." She shook her head, her short brown hair flipping around her cheeks. "I'll talk to him."

I bristled just a little bit. "I'm perfectly capable of-"

She shrugged before I could go on, cutting me off. "Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. But what's the harm in giving me a shot?"

"And what makes you think that you'll do any better?"

A grin cracked on her face, a tilted and crooked gesture. It made her suddenly seem a thousand times more likable, like everything she'd said and done before now was from some high pedestal, and now suddenly, she was down on the same level and playing field as the rest of us. "Absolutely nothing." She leaned some of her weight onto her staff. "But at least he won't be expecting me to chase after him."

Well, true enough. And she was right; what did I have to lose? I'd been trying to tell Loki the same thing over and over again without getting it into his thick skull. Maybe it was someone else's turn.

Giving her a go-ahead gesture, I said, "Knock yourself out."

"I'm prone to doing so," she said with a mock-cheerfulness, picking up the pace so that she was next to Loki within a few steps. I closed my eyes for a moment, debating on whether or not to listen in. I was still trying to decide when Reggie walked up to Loki and nudged his arm.

The little flutter in his chest- some strange kind of happiness- made my decision for me. I didn't want to ruin anything for him. I backed out of his head and concentrated on my own thoughts, leaving his alone.

And a wolf stalked us as the day went by.

"C'mon, Bones," Puck muttered, stroking the Wyr Wolf gently. She would rather cut off her own claws than admit it, but the half-breed's touch was far more soothing than she'd expected. Like everything that had ever hurt her was just… disappearing. "You've got to eat something."

No. She didn't. She really didn't. The rest of the camp was settled down to start sleeping, and Bones would do the same. She would sleep without food. She would starve herself to death and she would not shift out of her wolf form, and she would not give them what they wanted, because they wanted Fenrir. And she would not would not would not give him to them. Her head ached and her mouth was dry but she would die first, Loyalty Before Life, because life was nothing, she owed her life to someone else and loyalty was all she had left…

"Shh…" he winced as he sensed her turbulent thoughts- the telepath was in her head again (Get out get out GET OUT) and he was hearing her thoughts and he was listening in well listen away listen away because I'll get you out in the end, I'll cut you out you twisted freak of nature, hybrid scum- and he reached out to stroke the fur on her head. She bit back a whimper of relief. He was touching her. His hand was on her head and he wasn't disgusted or revolted, he wasn't striking her, he wasn't trying to hurt her, but that just made things all the worse- because the only things that can stand touching me are the things more disgusting than myself, these hybrid freaks with human blood mixed with Jotun blood and making them diseased, that's what the universe calls them diseased and who am I, what am I to judge?- and he was being kind to her. She hated it. Because the others were all ignoring her (though not the littlest hybrid brat because she was too little she didn't know better, but she seemed to know the most of them all, how does she know me how do her eyes know me how) and she could deal with that, she could stand being ignored. If she was ignored, then it would be so very easy to slip away into nothingness, fade in their memory and fade from their sight as she just disappeared, grew thinner and thinner and then vanished for good…

She was so hungry.

No, she wouldn't eat. Even though Puck was putting food in front of her she would not eat, she would not dare, because Fenrir was out there, and Fenrir could not be betrayed. She would not hurt him in any way, she would not betray information to his enemies. She would die first, because life was nothing, her life was not hers to live, not anymore. It was his. It had been his for so long now that she'd almost forgotten what it was like to live for someone that was not him (no, not those days. I'll never forget those days).

Her head was spinning and her mind was spinning and she couldn't keep her thoughts straight because every time she did she got distracted because that was food in his hands and there was pain in her stomach and it all hurt everything hurt I haven't shifted in days I can't spend much more time like this I'll die I'll die I'll die…

No. No, that didn't matter.

She repeated her mantra in her head: Loyalty before life, loyalty before life, loyalty before life…

Loyalty before food.

Damn that half-breed.

He sat only a few feet away, trying to get her to eat something, trying to get her to shift into another form. Her bipedal form, because she couldn't hold this one for much longer, not without perishing- well that's fine, then I'll die before the starvation hits- but she was okay. She was really okay. She was totally fine. Because this is what she wanted.

He'd pulled a knife on her that day. She had told Fenrir that she was his and he had pulled a knife on her, he had tried to get her to run, to go-go-go away and she hadn't. She wouldn't. He had pulled a knife on her and he had brought it to her stomach and he had drawn blood-but not too much blood- and she hadn't even flinched. Because her life was his and if he wanted to take it, that was fine, there was nothing she could do to stop him. So now she would die a slower death but she would be dying for him, and that was okay, she was okay, and everything was fine, fine, fine…

That smell that smell that food, dammit, half-blood, I don't want your food, I don't want it, get it away from me, get it away, get out of my head, get out of my thoughts, you don't want to know what's in my thoughts you don't want to see this no one wants to see this GET OUT.

And she saw the half-breed boy swallow his pride, saw him choke it down, and she wondered what pride tasted like and she almost laughed because she was so hungry but the hunger wasn't the worst part, it was the spinning, it was the way her thoughts felt, it was the pain the pain the pain because she hadn't shifted yet and she wanted to shift, she wanted to phase back into her bipedal form because this one was killing her, it was trapping her in a cage of its bones and blood and muscle and sinew and she wanted out let me out let me out let me out.

And as the half-breed boy swallowed his pride and her stomach grumbled, she listened to his words, to words he didn't want to say, because he didn't want to feed into this, feed into what was in her head, but he did it anyway, because he had to, "Bones… you're no use to Fenrir if you're dead, are you?"

Oh, clever half-breed. Clever, clever, filth of a hybrid that the universe hated. Clever little freak of nature. He had waited so long. He had sat on this little argument of his for a long time now, waited until she was too starving and in too much pain to think- can't think can't think can't think- until he said this, and now she couldn't think of a reply, and if she couldn't think of a reply, then what was the point? She was no use to Fenrir dead, but what use to him was she alive? But maybe she could find some use if she just stayed alive a little longer…

And suddenly she was eating and she had scarfed down half of what he had put in front of her before he put out more and her stomach hurt and she didn't care, didn't care, because if she was alive she would be of use- but not to this boy, she hated him, she hate, hate, hated him, even if his touch on her head made her wish that she could still cry, because she wanted to cry into it, wanted to cry on him, because she thought he would listen- and if she was of use then maybe Fenrir would be happy. Maybe he would be happy and she could see him smile and know that the life he'd saved wasn't totally worthless after all…

The light when she shifted was blinding. The pain- or rather, the absence of it- was incredible, a movement in her core, like the world was singing, and as she opened her eyes, all she saw was light and light and light…

And the red eyes of a half-breed who had refused to give up on her, smiling down.

"Loyalty," she tried to rasp; but he cut her off as the food started to settle and the searing absence of pain took its toll.

"Isn't life," he said quietly.

And somehow, as she faded into unconsciousness, she knew. She knew that, even though he was not right… he wasn't wrong, either.

"By all the realms," Loki breathed.

I would have said something similar, if I could have said anything at all. At the moment, however, I was speechless (a difficult feat, as most of my friends will agree). The five of us- including the halfblooded giants- were all staring at the transformed Bones; though only Loki and I seemed to be shocked in any way; the others seemed to think nothing of the sight before us. I wondered how that could possibly be; even if they knew this girl. Heck, especially if they knew this girl, considering exactly how much like crap she looked like right now.

The former she-wolf lay, completely unconscious, beneath a mostly-and-messily-eaten piece of meat that I hadn't even known that Puck had until a few days ago, preserved via- you guessed it- magic. And also salt. In the place of the massive Wyr who had attacked us was a very humanoid figure; pale as a sheet, with no color in her face, and ribs that showed through her form.

To say that she was 'emaciated' was an understatement. Even taking into account the fact that she hadn't eaten for a few days, it was obvious that she was too skinny to be healthy. She looked like she hadn't had a good meal in months. Years, even. Her cheeks were hollow, her closed eyes ringed by dark circles, her skin stretched taut over her sharp bones. Her elbows and knees and all other joints seemed like they were just… too pointy. All of the angles of her body were sharp and unforgiving.

Her hair, like her fur had been, was completely white. Its only color was given to it by the dirt and twigs caught up in it, and it, like the rest of her, was grimy and unwashed. Her long fingernails had dirt underneath them, as did the toenails of her bare and blackened feet. She looked… unhealthy. Like sheer willpower was all that was keeping her alive.

And then, of course, there were the scars.

It's hard to say which were the most obvious; which ones your eyes naturally gravitated towards first. With me, it was the ones on her arm- those horizontal lines that went up in a row, one after another, all the way up until they reached her inner elbow- but then, given the fact that I have very similar ones on my ankle, you could say that I'm biased. I think that most people's eyes would immediately go to the ones on her face; the ugly, ropy lines of damage that cut across her lips- the ones that had been on her muzzle in her other form- and the one through her eyebrow. But there were others, in a number of places, just from what I could see from this vantage point. And she seemed to not care if anyone saw them; her clothes were simple and light, short black shorts, and a short black shirt that showed off most of her stomach and had straps like a tank top. They seemed to fit well enough on her; or they would have, a few days ago, if she hadn't been starving herself further.

Long story short, she looked awful.

"Oh, hey," Reggie said, walking over to the Wyr. "Bones is back."

I stared at her damaged lip, at the old scar tissue. Even with her mouth closed, I could see one of her sharp teeth. I knew I shouldn't stare, but I couldn't stop myself, somehow. I knew the feeling, knew how annoying it was to feel as though you were on display, but I still couldn't stop myself.

Puck nodded at his oldest sister. "Just fell asleep, though. We shouldn't wake her."

The two girls quickly agreed, backing away on silent feet and returning to where they had been settled down to sleep. Loki pulled himself away from the sight forcefully, questions running through his mind, and tugged on my hand to try and get me to follow. I didn't, and my hand fell limply to my side as he walked away. He didn't even seem to notice.

Who? That was the question in my brain: who had done this? Who would do this? Oh, it was clear that the scars on Bones' face- and a few other places- were just old battle scars. Most immortals had those, that wasn't uncommon. Maybe they were not this obvious, but that didn't mean that they didn't exist. But the ones are her arm were not.

Who would do that to a person? Who was that sick and depraved?

"Oh," Fraye mused. "Lots of people. The universe is a dark place, Natalie." She shrugged- I couldn't see her, but I could hear it in her voice- and added, "I know you know that."

It says a lot that I wasn't even paying attention to her. That I didn't even care an ounce about what she was saying. And, actually, it was Puck's gentle voice that pulled me out of my stupor.

"Natalie," he said, and I blinked, my eyes going to him. "You should get some sleep, too," he suggested.

I blinked again, shook my head out, and nodded. "Yeah. Of course."

I walked back over to Loki on autopilot, my movements jerky and stiff. I sat down next to him and turned my eyes onto anything and everything but Bones.

"You don't suppose…" Loki's voice was quiet. Almost weak. "Fenrir… he couldn't have…"

And when his words died, I didn't give him an answer. I didn't have an answer to give.

It was a long while before I slipped into dreams that night. I can't say they were nightmares, really, because I'd had worse nightmares than this. But it wasn't altogether pleasant.

I sat in a cage that grew smaller every time I took a breath, closed in tight around me. I shouted to the guard- "Let me out!" – and he smiled softly, sadly. But he knew better than to let me out and I knew better than to ask him to do so. Horrible things were unleashed when I was released from my cage.

My visitors, the Avengers, all smiled at me. "It'll be okay," they said. "It'll all be okay."

And I listened to them. They had no reason to deceive me, no reason to lie…

And as the Avengers faded- and Loki gently kissed me goodbye through the bars- a man walked into the room. The others ignored him, or did not see him, but either way he walked inside without hindrance, walked up to the bars of my cage as I held my breath, trying to keep them from growing ever closer around me.

The stranger placed a hand on the bars, and they stopped shrinking. They stayed stable, still caging me there but not smothering me, not choking me. I looked up at him- a man with a cloak that covered his form, and a hood that hid most of his face, both the same grey as his eyes, which stared out from his otherwise shadowed features- and he looked back at me and I thought I saw him smile.

"I'm really sorry about this," he said, in what was almost a cheerful voice. "But it has to be done."

He stood. My eyes stayed on him as he left, though I found I could not move. His hand gripped the doorjamb as he hesitated, looking back at me.

"Really sorry," he emphasized. "I mean," he tipped a crooked grin in my direction. "You are my favorite, Natalie Laufeyson."

And the moment he said my name, I woke up.

I blinked a few times, staring into the darkness. There was an odd prickling at the back of my neck, an itch behind my eyes and something crawling down my back. I shuddered, trying to shake the feeling, patting myself down to make sure that no bugs or spiders or other forms of creepy-crawlies had made it under my clothes in the night. Thankfully not.

The other side of my makeshift bed was still warm, but it was conspicuously empty. I lifted my eyes up to the dark shadows that formed the world and tried to pick out one that matched the general shape of my husband; there he was, standing a short distance away, staring at the forest beside us. Looking for Fenrir, I was sure.

I closed my eyes and feigned sleep for a moment, just in case he came back. But when it was clear that he was not going to- and that he was not fooled by my act- I stood, crossing the distance between us.

He let me slip my arms around his waist, hugging him from behind and pressing my forehead against his back. His hand traced across my arm, and for a moment, neither of us said anything. But I couldn't let the silence rest.

"Are you okay?"

He didn't respond. He just stood there for a moment, staring off into the distance. I could feel something inside him quivering, and I hugged him tighter, trying to make it still, trying to calm and ease the shivering ache inside him. But it would not be helped.

"Will we ever be content, Frost?" he asked, very quietly.

"What?" I asked, pulling back just a little. "What do you mean?"

He carefully pried me off of him so that he could turn around, so that he could face me. Taking my chin in his hand, lifting it up so that I was forced to look into his eyes- glowing green in the starlight- he asked again, "Will we ever be content? Will we ever be satisfied with what we have?"

My eyebrows furrowed as his grip on my chin tightened just a little. "After all, we are already the king and queen of an entire realm. We have saved worlds, countless lives are in our debt! We are the Shadowslayers, we are powerful beyond imagining; you have abilities beyond most, and yet we still wish for more. You wish for immortality, knowing what will come with it: the extended life span, the inability to be hurt by most conventionally mortal means, perhaps even the capacity for magic… and will it be enough?" He tilted is head to the side. "Will we ever be satisfied with what we have?"

I swallowed. "Loki," I breathed, as the pressure his hand was putting on my jaw became just a little bit too much. "You're hurting me."

He didn't seem to hear that. He was carrying on, deaf and blind to me. "We already have a great deal, Natalie. Why could we not be content with it? Why could we not be satisfied with what we have?

"And if you do achieve immortality, will it be enough? Or will you still want more?" His eyes were gleaming too brightly. His grip on me was getting tighter, and there was an odd buzzing in the back of my skull, a fuzzy tickling in my thoughts. "Will you be satisfied with your long life as a Queen, or will you still want more? Will you want to eradicate your enemies, those people who disagree with you? Would you wish to punish all of those who dislike you, who hate you, because you were born human?"

"Loki, let go of me," I said, and though I could hear that it sounded firm and resolute, I did not feel that way. I felt… indistinct. Like I was in water, dissolving into it, my thoughts spreading out. Something was wrong here.

He didn't obey. If anything, his grip got tighter; and his other hand fell on my shoulder, fingers digging in. "Would you not be happy with what you have? Would you not be happy with having friends who love you, a family that loves you? Would you not be satisfied with only the Avengers, with only me? Would you wish for more? For children?" he sneered out the word like it was foul, disgusting, and I flinched as spittle flew from his lips. I tried to brace myself, to get ready to fight, because this was wrong, his grip was too tight, he shouldn't be hurting me like this… but I realized with a start that I was paralyzed. Frozen in place, my limbs too heavy to move, locked solid where they were. No matter how I thrashed about- and I could barely bring myself to do that, my thoughts were convoluted, my head was dizzy, I thought I might throw up- I could only move the barest of half-inches.

"Would it never be enough for you?" he sneered. "Would you always want more?"

And I shuddered because maybe he was right, but maybe he wasn't, I mean, didn't I deserve some happiness? After all I'd done…

"All you've done?" he shrieked out a laugh, and it struck me, somewhere deep down in my core, and the buzzing in the back of my head got worse, got louder. Somehow, it was the most distinct part of my thoughts at the moment, and I clung to it, tried to listen to it, tried to hear what was going on in the static. "All you've done, Natalie Laufeyson, is allow a madman to take the lives of thousands! You have done nothing! Nothing for your world! You slaughtered thousands of people, Natalie, it was you!"

I was shivering. His grip was so tight that I could feel the bones in my shoulder grinding together, the bones in my jaw doing the same. But I was frozen and I couldn't fight back, but the buzzing static was getting louder, clearer, and as it shouted out my name I knew that this person standing before me wasn't Loki.

The person shouting at me in the static… that was Loki.

"Natalie!" he shouted louder; and suddenly there were explosions behind my eyes, and the imposter before me bared teeth that turned into needle-points. The image of Loki dissolved, became a formless black shape, twisting about until it was humanoid again, until long claws were digging into my skin and those teeth were smiling a hideous smile, and a whisper-voice sneered at me, "Perhaps I should give them their vengeance… take your life for their own…"

And Loki- the real Loki- shouted in my head, "Natalie, MOVE!"

And it was Loki's voice, but in my head, it was Clint's words. Shouting at me in our training center. And all I could do was snap at attention and obey- yes sir, right away sir!- and despite the paralysis, I flung myself to the side, just missing the swipe of the imposter's claws as they came within inches of my head. I felt them snag on- and cut through- a few hairs, but I ignored that, rolling off to the side.

The creature shrieked as I kept rolling, not bothering to look up at it, not bothering to think, just listening to the real Loki's voice in my thoughts. And as I ducked to the side, Loki was suddenly right beside the creature, driving his spear towards it, Puck and Reggie close behind.

I pulled myself upright, dazed and confused, not bothering to fuse my thoughts with Loki's just yet, not wanting to make my emotions into his disadvantage. He let out a battle cry as he stabbed at the creature, and I blinked a few times, trying to take in the scene. Puck and Reggie joined him as I did so.

The creature was a very simplistic thing; a pure black shade, like the ones Fraye used with a few key differences: firstly, the gleaming white teeth in its mouth, claws on its hands, and the empty, clouded white eyes that stared at the world in pure hate.

Oh, and then there was the telekinesis.

The creature swept its hand to the side; and Loki went with it, an invisible force throwing him aside. It pounced on him, letting out a chilling shriek that sounded distinctly birdlike. It moved with an unnerving kind of swiftness, the kind of blurring speed that made me sick to look at it.

As it threw itself on top of Loki, who was collapsed on the ground, I snapped out of it and threw myself forwards, flaring my shield. I didn't reach him in time, but I didn't need to; Puck and Reggie were already there, working as a team that was somewhat unnerving in and of itself. Their coordination was so smooth, their teamwork so flawless, that it was kinda unsettling.

One of Puck's arrows sliced through the air, forcing the creature to whip its hand to the side, sending the arrow skittering away without ever touching it. But Reggie was already there, slamming her staff into its spine, a blow vicious enough to shatter a human's bones. But this thing was clearly no human, and though it fell forwards- and off of Loki- it righted itself swiftly, crouching down so low to the ground that it was almost on all fours. Its pupil-less white eyes locked on me and narrowed in pure loathing, like I was everything that was wrong with the world, and I had to wonder what this thing was; how much of it was animal, and how much was a cognitive, thinking being.

Clearly, it was smarter than most animals- the fact that it had spoken to me earlier, in one form or another, clarified that- but I really couldn't see this thing getting too philosophical. If I think, therefore I am, well, then this thing clearly wasn't doing a whole lot of thinking. Or a lot of… well, being.

Well, whatever it was, and whatever it thought, I had very little qualms with killing the SOB. After all, it clearly had just as many qualms with killing me.

Puck kept shooting arrows as he got closer, rarely missing. He wasn't as good as Hawkeye, but the kid was pretty good nonetheless; and if it weren't for the crazy telekinetic powers, he probably would've gotten some gnarly hits in. Reggie, too, was running into problems with that telekinesis; her staff rarely-if-ever struck the creature, unless it was distracted by Puck, first.

But that was okay. Because they were keeping the thing busy. And that gave me long enough to strike.

I felt the impact, all the way in my bones, as my force field slammed into the creature. It cried out in a scream of pain, falling forwards as Loki set fire to the ground around it; as clearly, blunt instruments weren't working well. Reggie and Puck danced around the fire expertly, but I didn't need to, courtesy of the mighty bubble.

The creature growled, backing away from the flames, and lifted its clawed 'hands' into the air; I struggled as I found myself being lifted off of the ground, held above it, a strange pressure on my throat that built and built and kept on building until I was sure that I would black out; or that my neck would snap. I saw the other three suffering the same fate and panicked. No. No, not here, not now, not like this… not Loki, not Puck, not Reggie, not Katy…

No. Katy wasn't here. Somehow, that was a small relief, but it was a relief… Katy wouldn't die…

None of them will die.

It rocked through me, a new determination, and I sent my force field out as far as I could, out in stabbing points, heedless of their direction. As this field expanded to a diameter it hadn't reached since my battle with Fraye, I felt four of these spikes hit a target; though I wasn't sure what that target entirely was.

Still, one of those spikes must've gotten the creature, because the pressure was gone, and I fell to the ground, landing hard on my shoulder, choking and gagging.

Note to self, I thought as I tried to regain my breath, seeing spots swirling and dancing in front of my eyes. Telekinesis can get through the force field.

Good to know. Also good to know that telekinesis actually existed out there in the universe. I certainly didn't know of any magic that could make things move without touching them; not like that, anyway.

I looked up, trying to see what I'd hit, and was glad to see that two of those spikes had driven themselves through the shoulder and leg of the creature. Another had made a hole in a nearby tree, and the fourth had gotten Reggie's leg. She was cursing, but standing, clearly fine. I felt sick that I'd hurt her, but I couldn't deal with it now. Survival first. Survival for us all.

The creature lashed out, and I felt something invisible- probably some form of telekinetic energy- rush past me. It backed away as we all closed in, fire at its back, fire closing in around it as Loki and Puck pressed their flame-laced hands to the ground. It tried to avoid the plumes of smoke, the brilliant, vivid orange, but it was clear that this was a losing battle. Loki struck out with his spear, I with my shield, Reggie with her staff and Puck with a blast of flames- impressive, considering that flames were not typically used as a combative magic- and the creature could only dodge or block them so many times before my force field lanced through its heart.

It bled a shining, opalescent white onto the field, slumping over. I let the shield die, and the corpse that had been impaled on it collapsed in a limp heap on the ground. The blood splashed down with it, and I took a step back, breathing heavily, watching it in wary disgust.

We all remained immobile for a moment. Then, within the space of half a heartbeat, Loki moved to my side. His hand went to my cheek, and he lifted my face up, examining me with hard eyes.

"Are you all right?"

"Peachy," I replied breathlessly, then immediately began searching him. His injuries were minor; there was a slash mark clawed into his side, but otherwise he looked fine. "You?"

He gave me a swift nod to let me know he was okay, and Reggie rolled her red eyes, kneeling down so that she could examine the large gash on her leg. "We're all fine, thank you."

I brushed Loki aside (he was still hovering, looking me over, turning me around so that he could examine me properly) and walked over to Reggie, crouching down beside her. "How bad?"

She grunted, shrugging, flicking out her fingers a few times until they glowed silver-gold, as though she was jump-starting them. "Had worse." Puck crouched down beside her moments later, and she pressed her fingertips to a cut across his forehead before she returned to tending her own wound. "You've looked better," she told him.

He shook his head. "Barely a scratch." He fell back, sitting on his knees, and looked to me as I asked, "Where's Katy?"

"She stayed back," he replied. "Watched over Bones. She's still asleep."

I nodded, feeling a pit in my stomach as Loki wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I tucked myself into him, careful to avoid the new injury by his ribcage. Everyone was fine. Everyone was safe. I took a few moments to let that settle in before I could let myself clarify what was truly worrying me.

Loki took care of that for me, saying the words before I could. "You thought it was me."

As all of us looked to him, he repeated, "You thought that… creature was me. That's why you did not run."

I nodded, swallowing hard. "It looked like you. It talked like you. It was…" I shuddered. "It was even in my head."

Puck and Reggie exchanged a long and meaningful look. "That'll happen," Reggie grunted after a minute, opting for bluntness. She pulled a bandage out of Puck's traveling cloak and wrapped it around her injured leg.

"That can't happen," I insisted, shaking my head. "Nothing can break the bond between Loki and I. Nothing can get in our heads. Nothing."

Reggie barked out a miserable laugh. "Nothing but what's out here," she grumbled, standing. "The universe is a big and scary place, Natalie. There's no such thing as 'nothing'."

Puck shot her a glare. "What my tactless sister means to say is that… well…" he shrugged helplessly. "We're on the homeworld of creatures that can see through time. Impossible isn't really… 'impossible', anymore."

The words gave me a chill; and I knew I wasn't the only one. Loki's arm tightened around me defensively, possessively. There were many things in this universe that were not safe for us, so many things that could hurt us, could kill us. But one place that had always been safe, one place that we had believed always would be safe, now that there was nothing keeping us apart from each other, was our minds. Not even Fraye could break us apart when we agreed. That was how we'd killed Fraye; because we were linked irrevocably and unbreakably through our thoughts.

And now this… this thing, this creature that seemed to be little more than an animal… it could break that? It could get between us?

If that was how powerful the animals of this world were… then how much more powerful were the Faden?

I swallowed hard and tightened my own grip on my other half. Our thoughts were no longer the impenetrable fortress that they had once been. The thought was frightening on a very core level.

But Puck and Reggie didn't seem nearly as disturbed as we were. And though Puck was shooting us both apologetic looks, Reggie seemed to be looking at us as though we were some kind of naïve idiots. That made Loki bristle, made him pull himself back together; he would never let it be said of himself that he was naïve. Standing, straightening up and helping me to do the same, he looked with disdain to the creature that we had slaughtered- or the person we had murdered, I still wasn't entirely sure- and turned away from the half-breeds. He walked back to camp, keeping my hand in his… but I let his fingers slip away and turned back to Puck and Reggie instead. "You two need any help?"

Reggie kicked the creature's corpse, hooking her thumbs in her pockets. "Nah, we're good," she replied, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, testing out her injured leg. It didn't seem to bother her much. Puck nodded his agreement.

"You should try and get some more sleep," he advised. "We still have a long walk tomorrow."

I nodded curtly, turning back to Loki; he had been waiting for me, a perplexed look on his face. Of course, we both knew that there was too much adrenaline in our systems for sleep, but the pair of us headed back to camp regardless.

Katydid was watching us with wide eyes as we came back; I reassured her quickly that, "We took care of it, Katy. Everything's fine. Go back to sleep."

She considered, then glanced to Bones. Patting the wolf's head once, she crawled back into her blankets and curled up in a ball, falling asleep quite quickly. She seemed to trust that we'd been telling the truth, and seemed not to care that we both looked a little beaten and bedraggled; like this was only too ordinary.

I helped Loki bandage his side, giving him a swift kiss on the cheek. We were both too tired to stay sitting up, but too wired to sleep, so for a while, we lay next to each other, staring up at the sky and wondering about telepathy, about how ours was so easily broken.

And we stayed wondering, until the cold light of dawn was just beginning to peer over the horizon. And as I drifted off at last, still wondering if the creature had been an animal or something more, I could've sworn that I heard the man from my dreams, whispering in my ear, "Sorry, my favorite Natalie. But it truly was necessary."

Bones didn't talk all that next morning. Loki spent hours questioning her, but she didn't say a word; not about why she was here, who she was, why Fenrir had trusted her, what her relationship was to him… nothing. He finally decided that too much time had been wasted talking to her and carried on, moving onwards as Puck guided us. But Bones' insistent silence had put the Trickster in a decidedly bad mood, and his footsteps were heavy as he walked. I tried to balance him out, to keep upbeat, but his moodiness threatened to drag me down as well.

I understood it. But we all had our reasons to be upset, not just him. I, for one, was still thinking of what had happened yesterday, of the telekinetic creature that had somehow deceived even my undeceivable thoughts. And then I had to stop thinking about that, because then I'd start shaking, and Loki would wonder what was wrong…

But I'd just discovered- admittedly not for the first time- that my head was not the private place I'd always believed it was. That kind of revelation is always something that'll shake you to your core, and I don't care who you are.

Loki scouted ahead for us in the direction that Puck indicated to him. I let him go alone- I suspected that he needed to be alone right now- even though I really didn't want to let him out of my sight. I didn't want him coming back without really being him at all.

The fear was new to me, and it drove me batty; was this how normal people felt? Normal immortals, at least? Did they feel like they could not trust the people they cared about most, couldn't let them out of their sight, because then they might return as telepaths or shapeshifters or something else that really wasn't them? How did they not go insane with worry? How did anyone trust anything, if they couldn't even trust the person in their head?

The five of us- me, Reggie, Puck, Katy and Bones- walked behind him for a very long time, allowed him the privacy of scouting ahead. Puck tried to initiate a conversation with me a couple times, but it soon became clear to both of us that my head wasn't really all there at the moment. I was worried, too. Loki was the one person who- against all reason- I trusted. And I trusted him because he was in my brain, yes, but also because I loved him. He had betrayed me before while he was in my brain, though; and I wondered if he was worried that I'd think he'd do it again. I wondered if I should be worried that he would.

I didn't worry, though. Instead, I jogged ahead, placing Puck in charge- I still had power of him, after all, through the key- and caught up to Loki a few minutes later.

He was moving silently, stewing, and blinked at me in surprise as I caught up to him and wrapped my arm around his. "Hey," I said. "You okay?"

He looked me up and down for a moment. Then, quietly, turning away, he asked, "Are you, you?"

"Don't know who else I would be."

"One of those things, perhaps?" He inquired softly. "Something else? Some new horror this world wishes to unleash on us?" he sighed quietly. "I expected a dangerous journey, Frost. Not this."

"The greatest danger always comes from the people we love the most," I said, quietly. "You know this. You've always known this." I squeezed his arm tighter. "It's the strong ones that push through and carry on loving regardless."

He smiled slyly-yet-sadly at me. "Then you are the strongest person that I have ever met."

I grinned. "Not compared to you. I still don't know how you manage it sometimes."

It was a joke, but it was also partially true, and it made him smile. He wrapped his arm around me, and I tucked myself into his side.

And we carried on together, into the unknown.

Loki was a little more cheerful after that, despite our prisoner's continued silence. We carried on walking together, already discussing the things we missed from home and how different things were here. It was getting hotter outside now, which was odd; the temperature seemed to fluctuate quite a bit.

The three half-breeds made do by throwing blasts of ice into the air, which fractured to snow, drifting down around their heads while they laughed. It was interesting, to watch them all. They were such… well, kids. And above that, they were such siblings. You could tell, immediately, even without their similar features, even without already knowing, that they had all grown up together. That they were family. The littlest, who needed to be protected-and teased- by the two elders, the peace-making middle sibling (even though she admittedly had a temper), the semi-bossy older brother who was used to being left in charge… they all fell into their roles. And yet, they were all more than just their roles; they were each their own individual, unique person.

And they were each wonderful, in their own way.

They pelted each other with snowballs as we walked, but eventually the mock-battle became a little too serious when one came too close to Katy's eye and Puck freaked. The girls rolled their eyes behind his back when he said 'that's enough for the day', and when he walked forward to join Loki and I, Reggie stuffed some snow down the back of her little sister's shirt.

But Puck seemed abruptly serious as he walked towards us. "We're being followed," he said without prelude.

I blinked, immediately-yet subtly- checking out the surrounding area. We'd passed the forest ages ago, but it was beginning to form in the distance. And there were enough nooks and crannies for a person to lose themselves in; enough that even Clint and Natasha would've had a difficult time locating a spy. It wasn't so surprising that we hadn't noticed.

Loki, on the other hand, seemed more skeptical of the half-breed's assumption. "Are you quite certain?"

He nodded once. "Bones is acting twitchy," he replied, gesturing with the barest nod of the head in the Wyr Wolf's direction. She was stumbling over her own feet, looking half-dead but determined to carry on, strands of uneven white hair falling into her moon-silver eyes. I watched her a little more closely, but could find nothing to fit the definition of 'twitchy'.

"She keeps looking that way," Puck carried on, with a small gesture towards the forest ahead of us. "It's Fenrir."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Her eyes lit up," he answered; and now his eyes seemed a little darker, the words a little sourer, like he just didn't want to admit to this fact. "As much as I hate to say it, she still serves him. She'll do anything for him; and it's clear that she's egging him on."

It hadn't been so clear to Loki and I, that was certain. We exchanged a brief look before my shrink side won out and I was forced to demand, "Puck, how do you knowBones?"

"What?" he asked, turning to me, seemingly pulled out of a reverie. His thoughts had been deeper than his light conversation had suggested.

"You've made it obvious that you know her," I prodded. "And she was the one you said was following us before, wasn't she? You knew Reggie and Katydid were following… but you knew she was too, didn't you? And you said that she wasn't a threat. How do you know that?"

His lips mashed into a line, and he looked straight forward without answering.

I carried on, "And you've stopped any harm from befalling her; it's clear that you know her, clear that you care about her… So how do you know her?"

Loki, sensing that I was in my element, and that he would only make things harder for me, took a few quick steps, so that he was walking ahead of us. Puck didn't seem to notice. His red eyes were thoughtful, pensive, and just the slightest bit trapped.

"I don't," he said at last. "At least… right now, I guess I don't. I think the closest thing that I could say is that I know of her. That I know a lot about her, about… I guess about what she could be."

My eyebrows furrowed. "What she could be?"

His shrugged. "Everyone has potential. Hers was just… squashed down a little, y'know?"

I blinked. "Potential for… what, exactly?"

He only shrugged again. "To be a good person. A great person. To fight with the good guys." He shook his head a few slow times, looking down. "She's not a bad person. She's just… been through some bad stuff."

At this point, Katydid started wailing because Reggie had shoved her down into a Jotun-created snowbank, so Puck quickly excused himself, ducking back to the pair of them and pulling them off of each other, comforting Katy and chastising Reggie. I watched him go, feeling something stirring in my chest, and odd mixture of emotions: mainly nostalgia and a strange sense of pride.

Loki lingered back until he was side by side with me yet again, likely sensing that strange mixture of feelings. Carefully, he wrapped one arm around my waist. He didn't have to ask anything, just gave me a questioning look.

I sighed, leaning into him briefly before separating us both so that we could walk more easily. "I was like that once, Loki. Optimistic about people. Wanting to help them. Now if anyone's in my way, if anyone's being a jerk… it's just because that's who they are. I don't care anymore." I sighed heavily. "I didn't even think about what Bones must've been through until I saw those scars…"

Loki's lip curled up at the corner, and he pulled me back into the half-hug so that he could kiss the top of my head. "Oh, Natalie," he murmured there- I could feel his breath in my hair, and I couldn't help but smile a little as he added, "You've changed a lot less than you realize."

I looked to him when he pulled back, his gaze going forward but his eyes still dancing as he chuckled softly to himself. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, still smiling myself.

"It hardly matters if you are precisely the way that you once were," he replied. "You are trying to be. At the very least, you are trying to retain the good qualities of yourself." He chuckled once again. "You've spent all those months with Fraye. And while it may have changed you… it did not change you enough. Because you still wish to change back."

I felt myself smiling a little wider. Linking my arm with him, I chuckled quietly. "Yeah," I said, my cheeks warming up until they were clearly pink. "Maybe."

A few days later, I woke up.

The others were still fast asleep- Puck, Reggie and Katydid all curled up together in the world's weirdest dog pile, with Bones curled up nearby but still alone, and Loki lying directly next to me, my arm around him- but I woke up, uncertain as to why I was doing so.

Not often a good sign, in my life.

I stood up, pulled my hair back and tied it up, and started to move about. The air was cold, and we had already made it into the forest by now; there were trees everywhere, and the three half-breeds had promised that it would take far too long, and be far too dangerous, for us to go around it. We listened to them; they were our guides, after all.

As I started to walk around- I figured I'd go for a jog or something- I started to feel some kind of tickle in my belly. As I made my way away from the campsite, that tickle turned into a buzz. I stepped back, thinking that something on the planet might be affecting me, that maybe there was some new safety-in-numbers BS going on, but as I did so, that buzz became a full-on roller coaster feeling in my stomach. By the time I made it a few trees away from the group, I fell down on all fours and started retching. I was there for quite a while.

"Oog…" I moaned once the vomiting finally stopped. I fell back onto my butt, rubbing my forehead, wondering what was wrong. It took me a few minutes, but I narrowed it down to three things: an alien bug I didn't know about, the constant shifts in gravity I'd been going through lately (what with my journeys between Midgard and Jotunheim, then to whatever-the-heck-this-place-was-named), or the overglorified, interplanetary version of motionsickness. This planet, despite the fact that its atmosphere had been altered to accommodate us, did seem to go through its days faster than our home planets. Which meant that the ground beneath our feet was moving faster than I was used to.

I'd all but had myself reassured that it was one of these three options- and I hoped it was one of the latter two- when I heard a voice behind me. A voice that, these days, I knew almost as well as I knew my own.

"Feeling ill?"

I turned to the source- I'd stopped doing that ages ago, she was never there- but there she stood, for the first time in ages. I felt my eyebrows go up but, surprisingly, I wasn't scared. Like, somehow, despite how crystal clear she was, this hallucination wasn't so vivid.

She walked over to me, perching down on a large boulder a few feet in front of me. I shrugged. "Just a few stomach problems," I told her. "Nothing I can't shake off."

"Hmm." Fraye said quietly. "Yes, you've managed to 'shake off' most things rather well, haven't you?" Her eyes went briefly to the scars on my forearm.

I think I laughed. It was more like a chortle, but I guess, technically, I laughed. Sitting back on my hands, I looked to her- to that pale skin, those black eyes, those fingernails with my blood still crusted beneath them- and I found myself asking the question that I'd been wanting to ask for ages; without knowing that I'd wanted it. "Why are you still here, Fraye?"

She looked back at me, curiously, her head tilting to the side and her shadow-colored hair spilling with it. "Why?" she repeated.

"Why," I agreed. "Why are you still here, why do you want to haunt me, why is any of this still happening?"

She blinked, leaned back on her hands a little more, and considered that for a moment as her legs swung back and forth. "Why do you still want me around?"

"I don't," I replied without even pausing to think. "I never did. Why can't you just leave me be-"

"I gave you that opportunity, Natalie," she said, quite calmly, quite kindly. But Fraye was always kind. Until she wasn't. "And you let it slip by."

I swallowed, a glimmer of understanding passing through me. I tried to push it aside, to shove it down, but it kept growing inside of me, an unstoppable, tangled weed.

"I'm still here, Natalie," she said quietly, "Because you didn't want to let me die."

I shut my eyes, closed them against those words, against their meaning and their truth. But they had been spoken- they weren't just inside of me anymore, Fraye had said them out loud and acknowledged their existence- and they wouldn't go away. I hadn't let her die. I had let her stay in Elliroth and I had let her stay in my mind. And as much as I wanted to go back now, to let her go, I knew that, even if I could… I wouldn't. I hated her too much, too damned much, to let her be free.

Even if I was caging myself while I was at it.

What was the saying? The one my mom used to say? "Revenge is like drinking poison, and hoping the other person dies."

How true it was. And my enemy was already dead.

How much more poison was I going to drink?

I opened my eyes again, and she was still there, sitting and watching, her elbows on her thighs and her chin in her hands and a dreamy little kiddy smile on her face. I shook my head slowly, sighing through my teeth. It came out with a little bit of a whistle, which seemed to amuse her greatly.

"I wish I could let you die," I told her. "I really, truly, do."

"So what's stopping you?"

I pulled my legs towards my chest, wrapped my arms around them. "Everything," I replied. "Everything that happened in those four months. Every time I think about forgiving you… I remember one of the things I went through all over again, and I just… can't do it. I can't." I looked down. "And… if that makes me into an Avenger… then I have to accept it. That's who I am. Who I want to be."

She rolled her jewel-black eyes and grumbled, "Humans." Leaning forwards, meeting my gaze exactly, she said in a no-nonsense tone, "Natalie Laufeyson, that is the singular most ridiculous thing I have ever heard come from your mouth. And you're a pretty ridiculous being."

I blinked at her. Somehow, her words were a little less sugar-sweet now, a little more down-to-earth. They were just … different.

"For starters, the Avengers is a fairly lifelong commitment," she said, waving a hand. "You know them better than most. They're not going to let you go if you asked. And all of those things I did to you… they're all part of the past." She rolled her eyes again, which gleamed like shards of glass. "Human beings cling onto the past so tightly. You don't need it, Natalie. Not if it hurts you. Not if it leads to this."

I stared at her for a very long time, looking her up and down, taking her in in her entirety. And then I smiled, so softly, at her. Laughing once to myself, looking down, I nodded a few slow times and leaned back on my own hands, looking up into her obsidian eyes.

"So," I said, as she stared back at me. "Who are you really?"

She blinked, like she was startled or something. "What?"

"You heard me," I said, feeling a little smile playing across my lips. "What are you, one of those telekinetic things that we had to deal with the other day? Because, you know, I won't just pick a fight with you if you are, just… if you start it." I shrugged mildly, both palms up. "But you know what us humans say, fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice…" I let it trail off, looking up into her pretty black eyes that were just so very sad, so very dead, so very gone.

But, after a moment, a sly smile spread across her face, and those eyes creased, lit up with the gesture. Chuckling quietly, she asked, "What gave me away?"

"You got too excited about helping me out," I replied easily. "Fraye doesn't do that. Especially not the Fraye up here. And she always calls me Natalie Frost, not Laufeyson." I knocked on the side of my noggin with my clenched fist and then leaned back again. "So you know who I am. And you?"

She smiled again, looking down. "A friend."

"Could've said that up front, if you were. You didn't have to go through the charade."

"Well I'm afraid I rather did," she said, looking back up to me with her head still tucked down, her smile turning sheepish. "You see, my family will be ever-so-upset with me if they knew I was here. And it is so hard to keep secrets from them. Why, they're already becoming suspicious of my whereabouts and… oh, yes, now they've found me." She smiled a dazzling smile. "Well, then. I suppose there's no more use for disguises."

She shimmered in my sight, a ripple in the air that was strangely hard to look at. It sent my nausea back to me, and I felt my stomach twist in a way that made me worry I would throw up again. I barely managed to keep it down, breathing through my mouth and swallowing hard a few times. As the image dissipated, a new one took its place, and I swallowed again.

Somehow I knew- though I'd never gotten a clear look at his face before- that this was the man I'd seen in my dream the other night. It was the same grey in his eyes, the same wry look in them. And he wore the same cloak of the same grey color, though it was no longer over his head, and thus it no longer hid his face. I could see him clearly for the first time, and for a long moment, I took him in.

He was middle-aged; or at least appeared to be. He had a few wrinkles, mostly around his mouth and eyes, like he had spent most of his life smiling and laughing. His salt-and-pepper hair was more salt than pepper, mostly grey with black scattered about. And his beard- complete with moustache, all of it short and well-trimmed - was completely grey, as were his thick eyebrows. But the rest of him looked younger than the hair made him appear at first glance; his skin was relatively smooth, and when he held out a hand to me, it wasn't wrinkled or anything. Not very, anyway.

"Humans shake hands when they introduce themselves, correct?" he said, his grey eyes gleaming brilliantly. They were definitely the most prominent feature on his face.

"They do," I agreed, taking his hand. "So, please, introduce yourself."

He smiled. "I am the Grey."

My heart seized.

He laughed once at the look on my face as my heart kick-started again and he dropped my hand. "You seem surprised."

"The Grey?" I asked with a dry mouth. "As in, the Grey Man? The member of the Faden?"

"The very same," he agreed. I could taste my freaking heartbeat. How does that happen?

"So… when you said that your family would be upset with you…"

He smiled. It was a dazzling smile, seemed to take over his entire face. He seemed like the kind of guy who should always be smiling. Yet somehow, that also kinda made him look like a maniac. "I was speaking of my brother and sister, yes. My fellow Faden."

I gulped. I'd come here to see the Faden; the last thing I needed was for them to be mad at me before I even laid eyes on most of them.

"They will be- indeed they are- oh… what's the word…? Ah, yes." He smiled again, brilliant and innocent. "They're pissed."

I felt my face go shock-blank again, and he laughed loudly. Loud enough to compete with the strange echo in my ears. "Do you know, everyone seems so surprised to hear me curse in their languages, yet never surprised that I know the language in the first place." He laughed again, a little quieter this time. "I'm keeping my siblings at bay, for now, but they will be here at any minute. It's only inevitable." He shrugged, like he didn't really care so much about that.

I tried to pull my thoughts together- this had, admittedly, caught me off guard a little more than I was proud of- and finally came up with a reasonable question. "Don't you think… I mean, if you're a friend… and this is making them angry… then maybe you shouldn't have done it? Shouldn't have risked anything? I mean…" No, that wasn't reasonable enough. "Wait, no… I just… what do you even want with me? Why are you even here…?"

"For reasons unknown to all of us, Mrs. Laufeyson."

The voice was cold, cruel, colder and crueler than I would've believed, and it came from behind me. I turned just as the Grey Man clapped his hands together and, still grinning, cried jubilantly, "Ah! Dear sister, what took you so long? Were my little hindrances truly so debilitating for you?" He clicked his tongue in disappointment, shaking his head once. "You're losing your edge."

I, on the other hand, had a very different reaction to the person in front of me than my so-called 'friend' did. And I was not quite so cavalier.

The White Specter- it was clearly her- stood in front of me, far taller than a human, far taller than a Jotun, and clearly not concerned with keeping a human form. She barely had any form, for that matter. Just a vaguely feminine shape made out of a haze of brilliant white light; light that burned like a candle flame, fading in and out and flickering slowly. I could see nothing of her features, nothing of her face; if she had one at all. I somehow sensed that she did- or at least, that she was watching me, intently, through some hidden eyes.

"This has gone too far, brother," she said, her voice clearly female, and also stern, filled with the violence of thunder. "You are interfering with things that are not your right to interfere with."

"Oh?" The Grey Man asked. The longer I stared at the White Specter, the more my eyes burned. "Then tell me, who shall interfere, hmm?" He seemed quite pleased with this turn of events, and I got the strongest feeling that I was just one way for him to make his sister angry. I suppose families are families; even time-watching, intergalactic families. "Certainly not you," he carried on.

She turned to me- at least, I think she did- before looking back to her brother and saying, "Erase its memory. This event was not to have happened; and it is the only way to undo the damage you've done."

"Erase what now?" I demanded, taking a step back. The Grey rolled his eyes and sighed theatrically.

"And if I refuse?" he inquired.

"Then it shall be done without your consent." There was something about the intensity of her voice that suggested that it would also be painful. Like, super painful. And possibly that she would purposely mess things up, just to spite him. I felt my hands start to shake and immediately readied myself for a fight, laughable as my attempt might be. My nausea was back, but this time it was combined with something else, something… familiar. Something horrible and dangerous, that I'd felt once before…

I remembered only as the Grey sighed again; it was the same feeling I'd had when Puck had exploded. When that circle of devastation had been created around him. That same exact feeling, like I was seeing something so very wrong, something so far outside of my understanding of nature that it could never truly be comprehended. The White Specter seemed not to notice the effect she had.

The Grey Man, however, did.

"Sister!" He scolded, stepping between myself and her. "Take care! She is only a mortal, after all; and with her condition, would it not be best for you to take a different form?"

"Condition?" I inquired, trying to quell the headache I was starting to get. There seemed to be something in the air- some extra sound wave, something off with the air around me- that suggested something to me that I hadn't expected; a feeling, like these two were not only communicating with the- very English- words that they were saying. Like they were having a thousand different conversations, in a thousand different languages, and not one of those languages used the spoken word.

I was ignored. The White Specter turned away- this time I knew for sure- and said over her shoulder, "Then you'd best take care of this quickly."

I felt the Grey Man's eyes on me before I turned to see them. And when I did turn to look at him, they were filled with pity.

"Aww," I complained. "Really?"

He chuckled quietly. "Apologies, my favorite Natalie." He said with a gentle shrug. "But my sister's will is a force to contend with. And should my brother become involved…"

I raised a hand, waving it about, trying not to freak out, trying to be cool with this whole thing. I was somehow a lot calmer than I should've been, and I suspected that they were manipulating my emotions. If they were, they were definitely making sure that I didn't care enough to ask. "I get it. Family business. Just…" I looked up to him, to his grey eyes, and bit my lip, uncertain of how I should ask this. "If immortality is possible, then…"

He beamed, that crazily huge grin that was just as much 'crazy' as 'huge'. "Naturally it is, Lady Laufeyson, and naturally, I shall help you with your quest." His eyes darted to his sister and narrowed. "Them, I am not so certain about."

"We do what is best for time," she answered curtly as she began to fade away. "No more. No less."

And she vanished.

"Bitch," I muttered, surprised to hear the Grey Man grumbling it at the same time. And then I laughed a little, one of those embarrassing nervous giggles that I so rarely got anymore. He reached forward, pressing his fingertips to my forehead.

"Don't worry," he promised. "You'll feel nothing."

"And remember less?"

"That is the plan."

And the world went black.

A/N: Sorry for the late chapter, guys, and sorry if the last chapter was boring or anything. ^^; It was… really hard to write this one, after the last one didn't get reviews.

So I guess what I'm saying is, please review! It really helps me write. :)