Chapter 14 –
The painting of the young mother holding her child as its tiny little fingers wrapped around her pinky brought tears to Natasha's eyes. She could feel the water building threatening to force open the flood gates any moment as she used all of her will power to keep them at bay. Damn these hormones, she thought bitterly as she dabbed at the corner of her eye. She was not going to cry over a picture. The office was immaculate with its ivory walls and well organized counter tops. She was lying back on the examining table waiting for the technician to begin the procedure. He dimmed the lights in the room as he stepped back to his place. Squirting some jelly against her abdomen, he picked up the transducer and brought it towards her belly.
"Wait, what are you doing with that thing?" Loki barked, standing up from his stool at her left side. At 6 foot 2, he practically loomed over the poor man as he froze in mid motion.
"It's ok, Tom" she said sweetly as she grasped his hand and pulled at his fingers for him to sit back down," it's just an ultrasound, he is just rubbing it around my belly, no big deal." Loki sat back down slowly but he continued to eye the technician suspiciously. "I'm sorry, they don't have these things where he comes from, he is just a little nervous," she soothed, trying to alleviate the poor man's anxiety as Loki continued to shoot daggers in his direction. Even without his signature dark hair and Asgardian robes, he was still a very imposing figure of a man.
"Here we go," the technician remarked apprehensively as he pressed the device against her body, "Just look at the screen and you will get to meet your baby." He started typing into the keyboard with his free hand as he continued to reposition the transducer. She stared up at the monitor in awe, she could see the shape of the head and tiny arms and legs, and she could actually see their child move. She felt Loki's hold on her hand grow tighter. Natasha glanced up at him. He was leaning forward his green eyes piercing as he stared intently at the small figure wriggling on the screen.
"It's sucking its thumb," he said in amazement as he glanced down at her, a huge grin on his lips. She reached her hand up and touched his chin gently. She rubbed her fingers lightly on the soft ginger hairs that framed his lips; she still wasn't use to him this way. Though she had to admit, he looked quite sexy with the goatee and reddish locks. Still, she longed for when they were alone in their apartment so that she could run her fingers through his lavish black hair once more.
"I've printed you a copy of the scan," the technician advised as he handed her the sonogram along with a paper towel to clear off the jelly from her waist, "the doctor will be with you in a moment to discuss the results." He raised the lights back up as he walked swiftly from the room. She handed the picture to Loki as she sat up and began removing the gel from her stomach before letting her shirt fall back against her skin. She was still astounded by the growth of her abdomen. She was actually showing now though only slightly but there was no mistaking that she was pregnant and she loved it. She gazed down at Loki. He was still staring intently at the picture in his hand.
"It's incredible isn't it?" she asked as he glanced up at her.
"What if it looks like me?" he asked somberly as he stood up from the stool, peering back down at the picture with a sad, solemn look on his face.
"Then it will be beautiful," she beamed at him happily. He shook his head slowly as he looked away from the picture once more, focusing sharply on her eyes.
"No, you know what I mean. What if it looks like me? You know the other me? The real me, I suppose," his voice was barely above a whisper as his eyes dropped down to rest upon her protruding stomach. She knew that he meant his frost giant features, she had only ever seen him that way twice and both times had been for very short moments. It broke her heart that he thought of himself as a monster, it was no wonder that he had lashed out the way he had after being kept in the dark for so long about his true parentage. She recalled silently the words he had once spoken to her.
Imagine being raised to hate something, to fear something and then finding out that you are that very thing you were taught to hate?
"Then it will be beautiful," she said again, touching his arm as she smiled widely.
The edges of his lips moved up slightly, just a whisper of a smile as he leaned down pressing his lips gently against the fabric of her shirt as he kissed her belly. "I love you," he breathed against her, rising back up to look into her eyes, "I love you, both."
"Now when the doctor comes in," she instructed, attempting to lighten the mood," try not to rip her head off, Tom."
"Tom?"He rolled his eyes, "Not very fond of that one, what in the world made you choose it?"
"I think it suites you," she giggled.
"Whatever you say, Natalie, but next time I think I shall choose the names," his voice low as he raised his eyebrow cunningly. She had a feeling that she wasn't going to enjoy his choices.
The doctor walked into the room, holding Natasha's file in her hand as she extended her arm toward them, "Hello, I'm Dr. Haas, it's nice to meet you." She shook Natasha's hand civilly then turned toward Loki, who was eyeing her like she had two heads. She dropped her hand back to her side as she continued," Everything is precisely as it should be for your fourth month; you and your baby are doing very well. You have a very healthy child. I do wish we had access to the records for your first trimester, if you could leave the name of your previous doctor with the receptionist when you make your appointment for next month, we could have them send a copy for our files."
"Of, course," Natasha lied, knowing full well that she wasn't going to be seeing this particular doctor again.
As they walked down the street toward their apartment, she couldn't help but notice the pensive mood that he was in, not at all like his usual demeanor. He seemed rather sad, with a faraway look in his eyes as he held her hand and a determination to his gate as they made their way down the cobbled sidewalk. She wrapped her free arm around his as she pressed her face against his shoulder.
"A penny for your thoughts," she asked affectionately as she gazed up at him.
"Pardon?" never pausing in his step as he continued to look ahead.
"Just a silly saying we have," she explained, "Is something wrong?"
"We can't keep on like this forever, "his voice filled with earnest as they reached the entrance of the apartment complex, "We are going to have to settle somewhere at some point. You don't want to go into labor while we are bouncing around this pathetic planet."
She noticed the tenseness in his voice as he mentioned her world and she wondered what it was that had upset him so. "It won't be like this forever," she said simply as she placed the key in the lock turning the door handle and entered their flat. The moment the door closed, he dropped the illusion spell. He took a seat on the couch, his long black hair falling across the collar of his shirt, his face clean-shaven. His legs spread wide as he settled down against the cushion. As she glanced at the mirror over the small table that sat in the foyer, she realized that he had not yet dropped the spell he had cast on her appearance. Her hair hung straight past her shoulders, several inches longer in length than hers truly was and a bright golden blond. She placed the purse and her keys on the table as she walked toward him, settling herself next to him. He reached his hand out catching hold of a lock of her hair. She could feel the spell dissipate as he tangled the red curls between his fingers and smiled.
She snuggled closer, placing her hand against his neck as she pulled him in for a kiss. His hands traced circles up and down her back as he deepened his movements, his tongue seeking out her own. It was a slow, long, lingering kiss whispering of even better things to come. He was paradise, pure and simple, she thought as he moved his mouth along her cheekbone, lavishing her with soft, wet kisses, making his way to the hollow of her throat. Her pulse roared under his attentions. Her body trembled in delight as she began to unbutton his shirt. Loki pulled back. He brushed a wisp of hair from her face as he stared into her eyes.
"You're everything to me," he confided, his voice as soft as silk, his green eyes sparkling like emeralds as he traced his finger along her collar bone. He began to slide his hand along the gold chain resting against her neck, her heart beat began to quicken at the feel of his fingertips on her skin. He paused at the pendant taking it between his fingers as the blue hue began to trail up his arm. He dropped it quickly before the color could rise any further and returned his attentions to her throat. His tongue flicked over her rapid, throbbing pulse. God, how she loved the feel of him, her entire body ached for more. "Shall we move to the bedroom?" he whispered seductively.
He picked her up in his arms as she nodded and carried her into the other room, laying her gently on the mattress. He stood there before her as he began to undo the remaining buttons of his shirt, sliding it off his arms and tossing it to the floor as she watched hungrily. Her desire for him emboldening her as she stared at the hard contours of his chest, she whispered to him entrancingly, "Can you change yourself at will without touching the casket? I want to see you. All of you."
"You don't have to say that," he told her as he unbuckled the belt of his pants, "I know you love me." But Natasha wouldn't be thwarted that easily, she craved him desperately. She wanted to know him in every way.
"Please," she urged him, "Let me."
He hesitated, as if looking for a sign that she really wanted him to or perhaps he wasn't sure if it was what he wanted but after a moment his body began to change as he peeled off his pants and stood there naked before her. His entire form was completely blue; the contours of his body were marked by complex lines and patterns glistening against his skin. The symbols ran down his neck, entwining around his shoulders, across the muscles of his arms as they spiraled down to his wrists. Travelling along the sides of his well defined abs, making a line against his pelvic bone, down to his rapidly growing erection, her mouth went dry as she took in the sight of him. He was beautiful, perfect, gorgeous, a true Adonis come to life. And he belonged to her. She placed her hand against his hip and he shivered. He stared down at her, his blood red eyes wanton with desire as he laid himself next to her on the bed. She placed her fingers deftly against the subtle ridges upon his forehead and the side of his face.
"Are these more sensitive than your normal skin?' she asked curiously.
"No," he muttered, as he ran his fingers up to her shoulder, "not really." His frosty touch sent goose bumps across her arm where his hands had been and a tremor of pleasure through her body. She leaned forward caressing the delicate markings with her lips. His mouth opened in a gasp as his body arched slightly, "well, maybe a little," he admitted, his red eyes filled with wanting.
Natasha ran her tongue down his chest following the lines that decorated his body, licking, tasting, teasing every inch of ridged skin; his flesh was cool to the touch. He moaned beneath her as his hands twisted the silken sheets. She loved the power she had over him, to make him weak with rapture. The sighs that his body was making as her mouth continued its exploration made her own body slick with desire. Suddenly her clothes disappeared and she looked up at him, a wicked smile spreading across his lips. She smiled back at him straddling him slowly as he placed his hands on her hips. The chill of his finger tips excited her and she gasped as he guided her down onto him. A cry of pleasure escaped her lips as his icy flesh merged into the heated core of her. She arched to meet each possessive thrust as she clenched and shuddered around him. Their motions became fast and frantic as her orgasm tore through her body. He suddenly held her more tightly against his powerful arms while he fought for his breath as he pulsated within her releasing himself in a harsh groan of male satisfaction.
Loki eased her off him so that she was lying on her side as he wrapped his arms around her, his head in the crook of her neck as he whispered, "You and our baby should rest, my little spider." He pulled the sheet over her as he stood up from the bed. She watched him as he picked up his clothes and began to redress, his Jotunn form evaporating in front of her eyes, leaving pale skin and auburn hair in its place.
"Where are you going?" she asked. She couldn't remember the last time that he had left her alone during these last two months.
"It's a surprise," he winked at her as he finished buttoning his shirt. He walked back towards the bed, leaning down and kissing her forehead, "Rest, my darling. It's a good surprise, I promise."
She watched his swagger as he left the bedroom; she loved to watch his walk. It was so self assured, so sexy. She loved everything about him, she realized. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep but she knew instantly that it was no use. She would never fall asleep without him. She grabbed her robe that was lying against the nightstand and draped it around her body. She fastened it around her waist as she walked towards the kitchen. It was a cute little apartment, much nicer than their last one. The colors were much brighter, more lived in; it was easy to imagine that they were just an ordinary couple starting a new life in London. She almost wished they didn't have to leave but they needed to stay on the move. Shield had eyes and ears everywhere and there was no way to know for sure if they had been spotted. It was safer not to get too comfortable in one place. Besides Shield wasn't their only worry, Thanos was the much more dangerous problem. There were no words strong enough to describe the anger that the immortal held for Loki. He wanted the scepter, of course, but much more than that he desired Loki's head on a pike. The Titan didn't take too well to being manipulated. He intended to make Loki pay for his deceptions and in the way that would cause him the most pain. Natasha would never let that happen.
She opened the refrigerator door, taking out the bottle of milk and placing it on the counter. She laughed to herself; her life had changed so much in these last few months, right down to her choice in beverages. It was at that moment that she noticed the faint click in the floor boards behind her. She pretended to have heard nothing, pulling open the utensil draw to her right, she reached inside casually before whipping around. The barrel of the gun aimed directly between the eyes of her unwanted visitor.
"It's good to know you haven't lost your touch, Tasha," Hawkeye smiled at her tentatively, raising his hands partially in the air, taking a half-step closer to her, as he continued," You can lower your weapon, we both know that you aren't going to shoot me."
"Then you don't know me as well as you think," She stated calmly, "I wouldn't do that again if I were you," motioning her head towards his feet as they moved in the doorway, "don't take another step, Barton."
"It all makes sense now," he said solemnly as his eyes rested on the small bump pressing out against her robe. She realized that it must be quite a shock for him to see that she was pregnant. And knowing who the father was must be tearing him apart, but he showed none of it on his face. "Seriously, Tasha, put the gun down, you know I would never hurt you. I'd die first."
"Where's the rest of your team?" she inquired, keeping the weapon firmly in place. He was right; she knew that he would never hurt her, not physically. But despite the devastation it would bring her, it wouldn't stop him from hurting Loki if he could. And he didn't know her well at all, if he thought she would let that happen.
"It's just me, Tasha. I've gone rogue," his voice was light hearted and despite the fact that her gun was still aimed at his head, he let his arms fall naturally to his sides.
"What do you mean?" she pressed as she scrutinized his every movement. Wherever Loki had gone, he had stopped moving and he wasn't very far away. Hawkeye must have known he left; he must have been tailing them for awhile or staking out the apartment. It wasn't a coincidence that he entered their home when she was alone.
"I'm by myself, no back up. I've been traipsing all over the place trying to find you. I'm supposed to notify headquarters if I get a lead, but I made a different call," he winked at her, "I thought maybe I could get through to you on my own."
"Get through to me? Exactly what is it you are supposed to get through to me about?" she commanded, her revolver still pointed at its target.
"Shield isn't after you, sure their pissed but deep down they don't think you're a willing party. Its Loki they want. You know we need that scepter; it needs to go back to Asgard. Nobody's safe here until we find it. You can still help us, Tasha," his voice was casual but his eyes were pleading, "These people walking around, these civilians, they're innocents, they need us to help them. I can't believe that you are so blinded by him that you've forgotten that."
"Have you located the Tesseract?" she asked, her voice rigid, "I take it by your silence that you haven't. Talk to me when you have it, and when you've taken care of Thanos. Then perhaps, Loki will return it to his brother."
Hawkeye began to laugh, a look of pure amusement on his face as he taunted, "Is that what he told you? Do you think he is just going to forget about his desire to rule? You think you and that baby are enough for him? He is too power hungry, too obsessed to stop now. What happened back in that warehouse, it was just a momentary set back, and he isn't giving up. You're having his child; don't you know him at all?"
Natasha lowered her arms slowly as she listened to his words. It was what she feared the most, that they wouldn't be enough for him. That he was still scheming. Where had he gone? He still hadn't moved from his current position. What was he doing?
Clint moved closer to her as he continued, "Is this really the life you want for your baby? You both deserve so much better." He took the gun from her hand setting it on the counter top, his body mere inches from hers as he continued, "you know the whole time I was strung up, I knew you would find me, I never doubted it, not for a second."
She raised her eyes to his as she placed her hand against her belly protectively. Loki was moving again, he was coming closer. "I know why you waited for him to leave but it's not going to work. I won't help you go after him. I love him, Barton. Please go."
Clint nodded thoughtfully, before he leaned down placing a kiss on her forehead. "I assume that you won't be leaving out the front door," he grinned at her as he moved to leave," but I promise you that I will find you again, next time I'll have to bring Shield in, we can't let him go free, Tasha."
As she heard the click of the door closing behind Hawkeye, she turned around suddenly replacing the gun in the draw and the milk in the refrigerator. She had the habit of placing a weapon hidden in every room; she had hoped that she was being overly cautious. Next time he would be bringing Shield with him. They needed to leave immediately, how had he found her, she had to figure out her mistake so that they wouldn't repeat it. She sighed in relief as she felt him at the doorway, she ran into the living room just as he came inside.
"You were supposed to be sleeping, my darling," he scolded teasingly as he kneeled down in front of her directing his next words toward her belly, "Your mother is quite beautiful and extremely stubborn." He looked up at her, his grin spread from ear to ear, his tongue peeking playfully between his teeth.
"I need to tell you something," she interrupted, "It's important, please stand up."
"Whatever it is, it can wait a moment," he answered her. Before she registered what he was doing, he pulled out a small box from his pocket and held it out in front of her. "I saw you eyeing it on our walk this afternoon when you didn't think I was paying attention, I know I could have just conjured one up exactly like it but I kind of wanted you to have the very one you were admiring so I bought it, I had to produce the money by magic of course, the little weasel of a man looked at me rather oddly that I had so much on me, I think he thought they were counterfeit but they are perfectly legitimate" he pouted, pausing for a moment, his green eyes searching hers nervously," I love you, Natasha. Will you be my wife?"
For a single moment the entire world disappeared, all of her worries and fears and doubts were put in some sort of suspended animation in her mind. Nothing else existed but the man kneeling before her, his emerald eyes dancing gleefully, his smile beaming.
"Yes," she answered blissfully, smiling down at him, "Yes, of course, I will."
He stood up as he took the ring from its nesting place. His eyebrows furrowed suddenly, a confused look on his face as he questioned, "Which finger do I put it on?"
She raised her left hand, extending out her ring finger as she giggled up at him. He slid it into place, bringing her hand up to his lips as he kissed it softly. She stared down at her finger in disbelief. The ring was breathtaking, two luscious red rubies bordering the central diamond, sparkling against the white gold. That was where he had gone, she smiled to herself, and Barton had made her think that he was off scheming. Reality came flooding back to her the moment that the archer's name crossed her mind.
"We have to leave immediately," she warned him, "Hawkeye was here, he may be notifying Shield as we speak."
"Barton was here?" his voice dripping with disgust at the mere mention of his name," What did he say to you?"
"He wanted me to help him bring you in," she told him as she watched him carefully; "He said you were still planning something, are you?"
"I plan on staying free and living a life with you and our little one," his voice still tempered with displeasure despite the sweetness of his words. She knew how piqued he must be that Clint had been alone with her even for a moment.
"I'm worried, "she admitted, "If Shield has located us, can Thanos be far behind?"
"Anxiety cannot be good for the baby," he disclosed, placing his hand against her cheek, before tangling his fingers in her hair, "Fear not, my little spider. We are both much more cunning then they, besides I have plenty of instruments at my disposal." His eyes falling against the emerald heart laying against her neck for only a moment before gazing back up into her eyes. She wanted to trust him completely, she knew how much he loved her but she knew him too well to be blind to the wheels spinning in his mind.