I am sorry for the long wait, I lost my inspiration to write. I want to always be open with the people who take their time to read my stories and so I don't want to make bullshit excuses about it being Christmas and working hard because if I'm honest I finished my Christmas shopping in November and I work four days a week haha. I guess I hit a wall and I went from loving writing to hating it and I needed some time to find my passion for it again. I'm not fully there yet but I want to try and continue with my story as I hate when I get into a story and the author just stops. I hope I haven't lost you all and that my followers continue to read as do any guests, all I can do is apologise for the time it has taken me and I hope you can forgive me for my crappy-ness.
So I have took so long I have forgotten everything I wrote, I have gone over most of it but I am trying to get myself back into the mind set of Kim and may be a little off. I would love some input and help so feel free to PM or review me some ideas or comments you may have.
I guess they were nice, friendly. They still seemed intimidating with their size and booming voices but even amongst the heat and loudness I managed to find my place, I felt almost comforted by the presence of these overgrown boys and their abnormally low voices. I even felt comfortable amongst the two women who I knew only as Bailey's teacher and a kind woman with scars on her face, but they were nice, welcoming and didn't look at me as a child but as an equal. I had never really had friends or anyone I could simply hang around with but if I did, I think it would feel like this did, I think it would feel warm and easy.
Jared stayed with me at all times, only leaving to go get us some food that I didn't really want but he made sure I ate, Bailey didn't need asking, she wolfed down two burgers and a hot dog before going for pudding. I guess that was due to the fact I couldn't feed her that well at home, not on the miniscule amount of money at hand. Dad didn't get welfare so all we had to live off was savings that were quickly dwindling and my mom's inheritance which was barely paying the bills. My stomach dropped painfully, I didn't want to think of home but it was hard not to. It was hard to keep my mind in this place when simple things such as what Bailey was eating made me think of that place.
"Are you ok?" Jared nudged into my shoulder lightly, pulling my attention back from the place it was creeping too. I simply nodded but he fell stiff like he knew my nod was false. I underestimated him, I had known him only a short time but he seemed to be able to read me pretty well. He knew not to dwindle on my home, he mentioned nothing about the fact he walked in to find my house practically on fire from what my drunken father had done. He simply helped me sort it out and then went about making sure I was comfortable around his friends. "We can leave if you would like?" Jared offered and lowered his plate to the floor by his feet, I shook my head, and it wasn't that I didn't want to be here because I sort of did. I sort of felt nice here in front of the huge roaring fire and surrounded by these people I didn't know. I felt better than I had ever done before but I didn't show it, I just sat quietly and watched as Bailey ran around like the kid that she is.
Jared said nothing more he just draped back beside me and gulped at his soda. I fell back into watching the people around us, it was quite therapeutic in a way. Watching these people interact so freely with one another. The couples, Emily and Sam and Paul and Rachel were sat together, chatting and giggling about things like they hadn't a care in the world. The others were just as happy. I had realised it was Embry that Bailey had a crush on, she had barely left him alone all night and I would have felt sorry for the guy had he not been so ok with it. He didn't seem to mind as she climbed all over him or stole his soda, he just shrugged it off or pulled her in for tickle fights. It was strange how cool he was with her, it was almost as cool as Quil was with Claire, she was two and had a tantrum every five minutes but Quil just dealt with it as if she weren't a little brat but the most perfect baby on the planet. I watched as the four of them ran around chasing one another, how Quil carefully swooped in on Claire and Embry did the same with Bailey, their movements so similar and precise.
My heart thudded and my stomach twisted, Quil and Embry acted the same with the girls, so careful, patient and precise. "Jared" My voice quivered as I went to ask the question and I tore my stare from my sister to the boy sat beside me, he frowned at first but turned in the direction I had just been looking in before shaking his head.
"No no no, Embry hasn't imprinted on anyone. He's just really good with kids, plus Bailey's hard to be annoyed with, she's like the perfect little girl I swear" He chuckled a little and the sound of it soothed the nervous twitches my body was having, for a minute I had thought that she too had been imprinted on. I nodded at him both of agreement with what he said about Bailey and that I was ok with the information he gave. She was easy as hell, always had been. "I guess she's had to grow up before her time, she's so much older than she should be. The way she acts, she's far more mature than most of us guys"
I looked back up to him; his eyes twinkled in the firelight and never broke from the contact they held with mine. He really was beautiful. He had the perfect features, his bone structure and build so defined, set but in a delicate way, as if he were carved perfectly from a piece of rock.
"But then again, so are you" He added finally breaking the eye contact to stare into the fire. It was only then I really heard what he had said. Bailey acted like an adult most of the time, she was barely given the time to be a kid and I guess I hadn't been either. My eyes watered over at the terrible truth of it all, the truth I never wanted to face. My childhood had been ripped from me and it hurt to see the same thing happen to my little sister, my heart literally felt like it tore apart every time I really thought about what my family had gone through, what we were still going through. "I'm sorry, we don't have to talk about this" Jared broke through my thoughts again, I watched as he stared harder into the fire with his own expression looking just as hurt as I felt.
"It's fine" It wasn't fine. I hated talking about it, nothing would ever make it easier to talk about.
"The legends are starting" A gruff voice yelled over the chatter that surrounded us and Embry and Quil quickly lead the two girls over to the fire side. Bailey quite happily settled down beside Embry and he handed her his phone, it was old and battered from what I could see but within seconds she was engrossed in something, it must have been a game because her thumbs were moving quick time across the buttons. I turned to look as three older people came in to close the circle around the fire, three men, one was far older than the others, one was in a wheelchair and the other just simply looked like most men from the res.
"That's old Quil, Quil's grandfather. In the wheelchair, that's Billy Black, your father probably knows him and then Harry Clearwater. Tribal elders. They are the only ones who know about the pack" Jared leaned in and whispered into my ear as Billy began talking, my skin shivered as Jared's hot breath tickled over my neck but I held in the hot shudder that ran through me and nodded as best I could. I had to focus.
"The Quileute's are an old tribe, descending from wolves, great spirit warriors" Billy's voice was like a song, as he spoke it rang out like a lullaby. The roar of the fire only adding intensity to his stories of Taha Aki, he spoke softly of the bond of imprints, the third wife and how far imprint bonds can stretch a person. His voice so calming, my eyes dropped, my body felt heavy and warm. I was so tired.
"Oh no, she's gonna be so mad" Hushed voices broke through my grogginess, my body was heavy with sleep, a sleep that felt so deep and resting. I hadn't felt like this in so long, I hardly ever slept let alone slept to the point of my body getting heavy with it. I kept my eyes shut as I listened to the hushed noises around me. "I didn't mean too"
"It's fine, don't worry about it" A new voice joined in and I didn't need to be told who it was, his voice was unlike any other, low and husky yet perfectly soft. The other chirping voice was Baileys. I could hear doors opening and what sounded like liquid being poured out but still I let my eyes stay shut. I was too content to open them. "You got a front door key?" Jared whispered again still obviously unaware that I was awake.
"No we don't lock the front door, it broke off a few years back and Kim can't figure out how to fit a new one" Bailey whispered back in a whisper so loud she may as well have screamed it. My heart jolted at her words, now I felt even more pathetic. I lived in a crappy house, with a crappy man who drank all day, the house was falling to pieces and as if that weren't enough to make Jared paranoid she tells him that. Now he was going to be even more jittery about my home life. And I looked even more pathetic.
"Oh. Well you can go on inside, I'll bring Kim in" He didn't pause for too long, yet it was a long enough pause for me to know that he was taken aback by what she said.
"Do you like Kim?" Bailey's singing voice asked and my chest clenched in a painful tightness, I was on edge waiting for his reply and I didn't need to listen long.
"Yes, I like her a lot. Is that ok?"
"It sure is, I think she likes you too. She's just scared, she's always scared. She doesn't like people knowing about our dad or our family. But I think she's beginning to like you, you won't leave will you? People kind of get close to us then they just leave. I don't think she wants you to leave, I don't either" Bailey ranted on, each word she spoke sent my blush into a hot frenzy while my heart flipped in embarrassment. I needed to teach her to keep her mouth shut.
Jared chuckled, a low chuckle that wasn't quite it's usual light self. It was like he was amused by her cuteness yet new she was being serious. "No Bailey, I won't ever leave. Now go inside before you catch a cold" My heart jolted again, his words were genuine, comforting.
I heard her little footprints around wherever I was, running and tapping away before the creak of a door opening shot out in the distance. We were at the house I knew that much, but how I got here was a mystery.
The chill of fresh nights air ran over me as a clunk erupted beside me and two hot rough hands scooped around my groggy body. My skin erupted in a blaze of fiery tingles that almost made me shudder, the feel of his heated skin against the thin fabric of my jacket caused too many feelings within me to cope with. I wasn't used to this. I knew I was blushing, I knew he could hear my heart beating erratically and I knew that if I opened my eyes I would see his face and be even more of an idiot. So instead I left my eyes shut and my body limp, he could just drop me off inside.
"I know you're awake Kim" Hot breath tickled over my neck as I was pulled from my seat only slightly, there was an air of amusement to his voice and my body started in surprise from being caught out. I opened one eye, enough to see him looking at me from beside me, his body leant into the open passenger side door. "You need to work on your acting skills" He grinned at me as I opened both eyes, his voice was light but still serious like he had been with Bailey. My heart fell back into a thumping beat that skipped here and there. He sent my heart crazy.
"Sorry" I whispered, my voice was heavy from sleep and my mind just as groggy but I managed to perk myself up a little so that he didn't have to hold me. "How" I stopped as I looked behind him, we were outside my house. I wasn't sure how he managed to get me here without waking me up.
"You fell asleep, I didn't want to wake you so I just carried you to my car. Sorry, I would have taken you in but Bailey sort of" He glanced down at himself and I followed his look, the front of his top was stained in something pink, the stain carried on down his trousers. Like a spilled drink. "I was helping her out and she spilled her drink on me, I didn't mean to wake you" He stepped back from me, his heat leaving me as if something had stolen my blanket suddenly. I wanted the warmth back but he kept walking back giving me space to get myself out of the truck.
"Oh I'm sorry, do you want me to get you something? You can borrow a jacket off my dad. He wouldn't even notice? Or I can dry it for you?" I hopped out and reached for the wet and stained top, it was obviously never coming out. Trust Bailey to do that. She always embarrasses me. Jared just chuckled, this time fully amused.
"It's fine, she's just a kid" He shrugged and nudged for me to walk beside him, his hands were stuffed into his pockets and he was still chuckling a little. I fell beside him, walking slowly down the path toward my house that was dimly lit with old lights. "Did you enjoy tonight? I was worried they would scare you away. The guys I mean, they can be a little obnoxious" He started mumbling as if slightly nervous but I wasn't sure why he was nervous. It was me who needed to be nervous around him and I was, I always was. He scared me, not in a horrible way, but he scared me because he was getting close. He was seeing parts of my life I didn't let anybody see.
"No no it was fine, they seem cool. You all seem really close" I couldn't even attempt to hide the crack my voice took, I felt jealous in a way that there were people out there who had friends like Jared's, who had people to rely on while I had no one.
"So you'll let me take you out again? We could go for dinner one night" I looked up at him, he was smiling, a glint in his eyes that sparkled. "I mean as friends, Bailey can come too" He added quickly as if worried he sounded like he was asking me on a date. The idea was stupid, a date, we were friends and that was it. Imprint or not, he wouldn't want me because I was broken. I had a past that he probably didn't want to deal with.
"KIMBERLY" A yell broke out over the silent night sky, my dad's voice boomed from the porch and I looked up to see him clasping onto the door and pointing out toward where Jared and I were stood. "KIMBERLY COME INSIDE" He yelled again, not aggressively but the growl Jared gave of was anything but kind. I nodded at my father and watched as he stumbled back indoors, his shadow passed over the downstairs windows until it stopped in his study.
"I should go in and see what he wants" I whispered but as I went to move away Jared got closer, his hand slipped into mine pulling me back and to face him. I daren't look in his eyes though; I couldn't because I knew what look they held, pity, disgust. Everything I didn't want to see I knew he would hold.
"Kim, I meant what I said to Bailey. I won't leave you guys, if you need anything let me know. You can rely on me" His breath hit my forehead, his words genuine yet slightly sad. I probably looked even more pathetic to him now, running in as soon as my drunken father tells me too. I nodded but couldn't manage any words. "I'll see you at school then" He got closer, dropping my hand but leaning closer in until his lips pressed against my head, quickly and softly but the warmth that it caused within me was something I hadn't felt before. It felt nice, safe and warm. Jared Cameron, he was something else. This whole situation was something else, but for the first time since Sophie went missing i actually felt a glimmer of hope, hope of something better than the life I had led for so long.
I am still getting back into writing this story so I need time to get back into my Kim frame of mind, hang in there I beg you ! Leave any ideas for me and I promise to consider them, possibly use them :D let me know if I have gotten anything wrong here. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you still are reading.