A/N - Unbeta'd! I should be back to writing this story a few times a week. The next several chapters are ready to go :) All reviews are love, but no worries either way.
"Tell me about Tanya," I said after Eli finally left. Edward placed a tentative hand on my back, seemingly to usher me over to my cheap futon. The blanket covering my makeshift bed was ratty with frayed edges and moth holes, but still, it was home. I'd shipped it across the country when I moved to Vancouver because no person or thing, for that matter, had the ability to comfort me like my blankie. As if he understood, Edward draped the old childhood relic over my shoulders, sighing.
"I'll tell you everything."
His skin, so sweet and smooth against my own... it made me dizzy. It was terrifying, knowing that I was falling in love with someone I probably shouldn't.
"You lied," I said, unable to keep the tremble out of my voice. Anger was only one of the emotions that bubbled close to the surface. Beyond everything, I was afraid - afraid I'd fuck up my one chance to get answers.
No... that wasn't right, either.
Edward let out a frustrated groan, rubbing his hands through his glorious kaleidoscope hair. God, I could lose myself in his colours - the golds and brasses of his head, the greens and yellows of his eyes, the whites and pinks of his face - ever-changing like light bent through prism.
"When did I lie?" So tender were his hands as they ran through my hair. His eyes sought mine out, tired and hopeful.
Oh, those pearls that were his eyes. I remembered. So very sad now.
"About Tanya that night. When you promised to tell me."
He shook his head. "I didn't, Bella. I shared with you my truth - my only truth. How could that be a lie?"
"It's a lie because you didn't bother to find out the whole story. You made promises to me that night which you had no business making."
"I couldn't have known!"
"You could have known. You just didn't want to. Eli told me later that night that Tanya needed to speak to you - that she had information that would change everything. But you wouldn't take her calls!"
"Because I was falling in love with you!" he yelled. "As far as I was concerned, Tanya and I were over."
"If that was true we'd still be together now."
"Please." His voice cracked. "I was so crazy about you I couldn't see straight. When I told you about Tanya, I truly believed it was over."
"It should have been over." I bit my lip; I wouldn't let him see me cry, even as the darkness crept into my head, filling my lungs with water. Being with Edward felt like drowning, but without the sweet reprieve of death. Only the fear and the pain.
"It should have," he agreed. "Please don't cry."
"I'm not!" I snapped, willing the tremble out of my voice. "Are you very sad, Edward?"
He laughed, a bitter sound. "Why would you even ask me that? Just look at me, Bells, look at my face. And don't give me that shit about you being face blind, because the truth is... you're the only woman who ever really saw me." His eyes glistened, slicing through my heart as a tear rolled down his cheek.
I'd never seen him cry before.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, shame sitting like a brick in my stomach.
"What're you sorry for, exactly?" he countered, rubbing the water from his eyes with his fists.
"For your divorce. For losing the woman you love."
"Bella," he said, leaning down until we were at eye level. He held my face in his hands, fresh tears dripping off his cheek. "I lost the only woman I ever loved seven years ago."