A/N: BAM! How's that for quick? I just thought I'd do something nice for you guys… so I decided to devote a lot of energy to this chapter… I hope you like it. XD I know a lot of you have been badgering me for what's in this chapter… See? I'm not heartless, I can deal with a little fan service. XP
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Songs For a Kingdom Now Lost.
fourteen.
A week passed and the days steadily became less and less wet. The skies were blue and the fields of Irai dried up. Over the course of the week, the three teenagers never really got used to the bodyguards' incessant stalking of Near but they grew accustomed and Mello learned to finally ignore the stares. Gevanni, Hal and Lester kept an even closer eye on Mello and Near after the day they claimed Mello had stolen him. They followed them to their classes and though L would never allow the three nosy ones inside, they would be either outside the door or outside standing in the grass, peeking in. It actually irritated not only Mello and the other students but L, who was always annoyed at those eyes watching him.
However, so an incident like Near's kidnapping would not repeat, the guards did attempt to give him space on certain subjects. Such as his clothing, for one. They permitted Matt to give Near more clothes if he would like and Mello grinned to himself at hearing that, wanting desperately to experiment with Near like a doll, though he would never admit that to anyone, not even Matt. Besides, he bet Matt already knew. The way that - after they said goodbye to the guards on Monday night and were left to themselves in Matt and Mello's dorm – Mello went right over to Matt's side of the closet, throwing jeans and tee-shirts onto the bed like mad.
"All of these?" Near asked, awe-stricken at all the clothes on the bed that Mello had ordered he try on. Near looked back up at Mello. "But at this rate, Matt will have no clothes at all. I can't strip him."
Matt looked down at himself. "He's got a point, Mel."
"You're not gonna take them all, you're just gonna try them on!" he insisted. He refused to hear any more of the other two's griping and nearly shoved Near into the bathroom with an arm's load of clothes.
Near had come back out, wearing a pair of saggy jeans on and a black shirt with long white sleeves that came down to his elbows. Mello nodded to himself. "I like it. What about you, Matt?"
"He looks great." He winked at him and Near turned away, embarrassed.
"But the pants… they're too large."
"Don't worry about it," Mello grunted, coming over to him to correct his posture. "Stand up straight, you look like L. There we go."
"Hey…" Matt was over at the bed again, and was holding up a green and white shirt up. "Let's have him try this one on. It's too small for me anyway. You like green, Near?"
"Um… sure…"
Near supposed that Mello and Matt were trying to make him more grown up, or at least more like the teenager he was. And to be honest, the clothes they gave him were nice but they didn't make him feel like a teenager. Even at night sometimes when Hal would give him a goodnight hug and she would tell him how big a boy he's gotten, he wouldn't feel so grown up. The only time he ever felt more mature that he ever had was when he was alone with Mello. That was the only time. When he was painting and Mello was on the couch, bare, cheeks a light pink, he felt a mature sensation that he was sure had a little more to do with what he was seeing than what he was wearing.
The warmth that Near got from seeing Mello so vulnerable used to be in his cheeks and face but now traveled the length of his body and sometimes made him feel wrong. He would pause in his painting then and just stare at Mello, waiting for that sticky-hot-edgy feeling to leave his body but it hardly ever did. Everyday he was getting closer and closer to not only finishing the painting but to figuring out what that feeling meant for him and his model. He was sure that it would be something that passed – had to be. Because of the way it made him feel – all warm and building up like anticipating fireworks – he thought that something that… nice couldn't last.
He sometimes felt like asking Mello about that warm feeling, part of him wanted to know if his model felt it too, as he had heard that models and artists shared a lot of the same feelings when working together. Lately, it had been much easier to talk to Mello because he was being friendlier but when he wanted to ask about that, he choked. Couldn't do it. And that was odd for someone like Near, someone who would want and answer and then seek it without hesitation. That is how it had always been. So why not now?
On Wednesday night, he had tried so hard to get over this foreboding feeling in his gut. But…
"Mello," he said loftily, looking up from the canvas.
"What is it, Near?" he asked, sulking. He didn't like the lack of heat and earlier had fought Near hard on the subject – mad now, because he'd lost and hard.
"I…" He put the brush down and placed the hand to his stomach where the feeling had started to collect. Looking back up at Mello, he watched the fluttering of the older teen's eyelashes on his cheeks; the way his tongue came out slightly sometimes and wetted his coral lips; the heavy breathing…
He hoped the audience on the night of the auction would get the same feeling he had when he watched Mello.
He coiled a lock of hair around his finger. "Are you hot?" he asked.
Mello blinked, looking up, restraining the rest of his body from moving. "Hot? Am I… hot? What in fuck are you talking about?"
"I mean on the inside. Is your stomach warm right now? Because I…"
Mello had just stared at him for a second and Near met his gaze unblinkingly. Mello blew air out of the side of his mouth, thought, Kid's on something… and groaned, "Go back to painting, Near. I'm cold, I'm bothered and I have no clue what you're babbling about."
Near looked away. So much for friendly. He resumed painting without another word. That had answered it anyway – I'm cold – so he had better get to work so Mello go back to his room and be warm. Only thing was, when Mello got dressed and left, so did that sticky-warm feeling.
Interesting, he thought.
On Saturday night, Mello was at a class and both Gevanni and Lester were back in their dorm room. Hal had volunteered to stay with Near and guard him while he was in Matt and Mello's dorm, playing with Matt. Even though the two of them were being watched, they were both very engrossed in their games and very happy to be able to play pretend after so long a rift between them. It seemed that there was always something going on that prevented the two of them from playing together. The threat of Near being taken away, both of their entries for the fundraiser, classes, Mello… Why couldn't life be simple?
"You have no place left to go," Near said, concentrating hard as he held his two robots in front of Matt's. "Please surrender or we will be forced to use violence."
"I'm not giving up without a fight," Matt's robot declared. "You haven't won yet!"
"Oh, but I'm afraid we have."
"You aren't justice – I am, and I will save Robotica from your evil!" Matt's robot backed up towards the couch's edge which was also the edge of the Grand Canyon.
"Don't go any further!" Near's blue robot warned, holding out its hand. "You'll die!"
"Then I'll die with vengeance in mind!" he called as he free fell down into the canyon. Matt threw the robot. Near and Matt rushed over to the side of the couch and saw that the robot's head had jettisoned from its body when it hit the carpet.
They exchanged glances.
"You died," Near said pointedly.
"… Yeah. Kinda anti-climactic."
Near climbed down from the couch and went to the small robot's aid, adjusting it so that the head would fit back on. He looked at the back of the neck and saw where it chipped. "Just a little super glue," he said, probably to himself, "and you will be as good as new." He looked back up at Matt. "We can use him again."
"Okay." He paused, green eyes studying Near behind the shade of the goggles. "Hey, Near."
"Yes?"
"You know, I never did thank you for helping me out. I'd been so busy with Raito, I totally forgot about it, but really, it's all thanks to you."
Near tilted his head. "What do you mean?"
"You got me out of my slump, you know. When I took pictures of you, I felt just right again and that's why Raito picked me. So I guess you're why I'm with him now. So…" Matt sat back on his knees and looked lopsided at the boy on the floor. "Thanks."
"I… I didn't do anything," he said, fiddling with the robot's head. "But, just the same, you're welcome."
"You know, I'd help you with Mello, but I'm a sucky matchmaker."
Near's head jerked up. "What?"
"Mello – I'd help you get with Mello but I-"
"Why would you say such a thing?" Near squeaked, his grip on the robot tightening. Matt blinked at this response. Near turned away slightly, his eyes flickering to the torn head of the robot, and then back up to Matt. His lips were pursed slightly and Matt almost laughed at how he seemed to be pouting – had he really thought his feelings were so big of a secret? "I… Matt, you say ridiculous things."
"Aw, come on, Near, I didn't mean anything," he laughed, coming down from the couch to sit next to the boy, putting his arm around him. At this, Hal stiffened in her seat on the bed. She'd been watching them but they had become so used to the presence of a guardian that they didn't notice her. Matt continued, "I'm just saying – it's really cute how you act around Mello and if I thought I could help you out, I would."
"Act?" he asked, cheeks a little red.
"Your behavior."
"I don't behave differently…" He said it as if he were unsure.
"Heh, okay." Matt rose up from the ground and ruffled the boy's hair, grinning and then turning for the door. "You can stay however long you want but I've gotta go – I'll be at a session with Raito if Mello asks, 'kay?"
"Okay…" Near mumbled, rather gloomy.
Matt laughed, unable to help it. "Bye, Near," he said as the door closed behind him.
He was only gone a second before Hal stood up, smoothing her black pants over her legs. She regarded Near tenderly. "Would you like to go back to your room, Near? Or stay until Mello returns?" She looked at the television across the room and the Wii station sitting in front of it. "We could play some video games, I suppose." And as she said that, she wondered if it would be easy to play.
"Hal…" he said, looking down at the robot.
"Yes?"
"Do you really hate Matt and Mello?"
She looked at him, pausing. "No, Near. I don't hate them."
"Do the others?"
"I can't say for sure. I don't think so."
He nodded absently. "I don't hate them at all."
"Yes, I know."
-
Out in the breezeway, the nighttime air was blowing through the hallway and Matt could hear the familiar sounds of every summer – crickets chirping, birds rustling in their nests, shouts of other people off in the fields and in other hallways. In the wintertime, most of the students and faculty stayed inside and used the indoor hallways but now they were all out after classes, playing with fireworks and laying on the lawns and racing with fireflies.
The interior of the hallway was lit with lanterns and Matt followed them into the next building, up to the teacher's dorms. When he was on the third floor, he passed by L's room and went down the hallway to his partner's room, enjoying the feeling of excitement deep within his stomach whenever he went to see Raito.
He opened the door, knowing full well it would not be locked, and entered, shutting it quietly behind him.
"Raito," he sang out, walking into the middle of the living room.
"I'm back here," was the reply, coming from the studio in the back of the apartment.
Matt headed that way, coming through the open door. He saw his partner sitting in the chair by the windows, slightly hunched over and caramel-colored eyes focused on the floor. He sat with his elbow propped up on his knee and his chin settled in the palm of his hand and only looked up when Matt walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey," he said, leaning into the moonlight and blocking it from Raito's face, "what's wrong?"
"Not much," he sighed, giving a half-smile. He got up from the seat and took the hand that had been placed on his shoulder, raised it to his lips and kissed it. He smirked a little at Matt and then walked away to the other side of the room, where a large object sat on the tile covered with a sheet. It was about seven feet tall and Raito had to stand on his toes to toss the sheet off of his and Matt's sculpture. He walked around the thing and motioned for Matt to sit in his chair where Raito had been.
Matt took the hint and moved the chair around, sitting in it in front of the window. He took off his shirt and cast it on the floor somewhere. He then proceeded to lift his goggles and place them on his forehead, squinting, still not really used to that. Raito reached in his back pocket and took a pact of cigarettes from it, tossing them over to Matt. It was a new package and Matt tore off the cellophane; he picked up the lighter from the window sill and lit up and the glow from the burning cigarette butt light up his face like a firefly had lit on the tip of his nose.
Raito took off his over shirt and was left in a pair of jeans and a white tank top. He grabbed his chisel and hammer off of the dirty tile floor and walked slowly around the unfinished sculpture like a shark circling its prey.
"Raito," Matt said, looking at him.
"Yes, Matt."
"What's up with you?"
"I'm concerned," he said, his eyes shifting over the statue.
Matt tilted his head.
"Matt, your head."
"Yeah," he said, putting it back in the same position. He had placed his two fingers against the cigarette and exhaled lightly around it. "So, what're you concerned about? Is it the sculpture?"
"No, of course not. I think it's beautiful," he said absently.
"Then…?"
"It's us."
Matt blinked and struggled not to move his head again. He exhaled, smoke coming up in a puff, veiling his face. "Heh… us, huh? What's wrong?"
"I think I might be taking advantage of you."
Matt coughed on the smoke, choking on laughter. "A-Advantage? Taking advantage of me? Dude, I'm here on my own free will! I never screamed 'Rape, rape!'"
"I know that, Matt."
"Come on, man, I mean, I love you."
"I know."
"So why the sudden downward shift?"
Raito sighed, letting his arms dangle at his sides. He looked to the side of the sculpture and narrowed an eyebrow at Matt. "We're not going to get any work done tonight, are we?"
"Not until this is settled. S'fucking ridiculous," he said, a little irked.
"Matt, relax."
"How can I relax? I was relaxed until you sprung this on me," he said, brooding in his chair. He was inhaling and exhaling a little faster. "I mean, what the fuck? Talk about mood swings. There's nothing wrong with us, it's not like I'm nine or anything, I'm of age!"
"There are other legal aspects. I'm a teacher."
"Not my teacher."
"This is not professional."
"We're don't have a scholastic relationship! You might as well be a guy I met on the bus one day and started up with. You're making too much out of it."
"Matt-"
"And if that did matter to you so much, then maybe you should've considered it before you…" He trailed off and threw the butt down to the floor, lighting up another one and shoving it in his mouth. "Aren't you going to work?" he asked sharply, looking at the floor.
Raito sighed, looking up at the ceiling with an expression that said, Why me? He dropped the tools on the floor with a metallic thud and walked over to the redhead who was smoking heavily. Matt had always been a smoker but since their piece started, he'd been chain-smoking and not always because the piece required it. Raito came down on his knees to be almost eyelevel with the teenager and took Matt's face in one hand, taking the cigarette out of his mouth with the other. Matt struggled a little, tried to look away so that Raito wouldn't see the tears brimming on the edge of his green eyes. Raito let the boy struggle, a little amused, and kissed the cheek Matt had turned to him.
Matt made a little noise in the back of his throat and Raito came around and kissed the other cheek, following the curve of his face until his lips came to the corner of Matt's eyes. Matt held in the tears like the man he made himself out to be and was still as Raito's lips made their way around the boy's face ending in a chaste kiss to his lips. He kissed him again. And again. And by the fifth one, Matt was kissing back and they opened their mouths to each other. It was very close to how it all had begun.
Raito held on to Matt's wrists and used his mouth to say, Sorry.
Matt used his to say, Ass.
-
The next afternoon, L was happy to be sitting in front of a buffet of cakes in the teacher's lounge. Earlier around noon, the faculty had been celebrating the birthday of a drama teacher whose name L did not know and he did not even attend, being the unsociable person he was. But there had seemed to be a mix up at the party and the person who was supposed to bring the birthday cake hadn't told everyone else that he would take care of it. As a result, six people had brought six different kinds of cakes. Once L had overheard this piece of gossip, he hightailed it over to the teacher's lounge and was elated to find that quite a lot of each cake had been left over.
He had sat down at one of the empty tables with his six slices and was chowing down, ignoring the looks of contempt from his colleagues, when Raito walked into the room. L looked mildly over his shoulder, a fork hanging out of his mouth, when he raised a hand to the brunet.
"Raito! Come sit with me," he said, motioning to the seat next to him.
Raito rolled his eyes and came over, pulling out the chair and seating himself. "It's Yagami. Lawliet… you have so much cake - did you raid Miss Takada's party?"
"No," he said, mouth full, "I just came in and saw there was cake."
"That was for people who participated in the party," he replied.
"And how would you know that I did not?"
"I know better."
L flashed him a look and then reached under his seat, revealing a red and yellow polka dotted party hat. He pulled the strap under his chin and looked up at Raito with the cone-hat pushed slightly to one side on his head. Raito frowned and looked away. "You look ridiculous."
"Others wear party hats without being jeered at, why not I?"
Raito groaned. "Never mind."
L nodded in satisfaction and continued to eat a triple-chocolate fudge-coated cake with black and white sprinkles while other teachers walked around, wondering where the rest of the cake had gone. He looked up idly and noticed the way Raito was staring off into space, his chin placed into the palm of his hand. L swallowed heavily. "Raito, is there a reason you seem so aloof? There are no problems in paradise, I'm hoping."
"What're you talking about, Lawliet?"
"I'd say it was about time you and Matt had your first lover's spat, though."
Raito's eyes narrowed. "What? Don't say ridiculous things like that, people will believe crazy rumors like that!" He scooted in closer to L and darted his eyes around the room to see if anyone might be eavesdropping.
L blinked at the close in distance. "You're being affectionate, Raito."
"Be silent. Who told you something like that?"
"Mello."
"Mello!" Raito fumed. Matt must've told him. I'm going to kill that kid… Agh, relax. Play it cool, L doesn't know it's true, he's just-
"And you can stop thinking I don't know it's true. Mello bargained that information with me for a chocolate bar and I could tell he was telling the truth by the way Near was trying to shush him." L took another bite of cake and was close to moving on to the next slice.
Damn it! Raito scowled. He collected himself quickly and looked over at the raven-haired man, hunched over the table, shoving cake down his throat and wearing a party hat on his head. He couldn't help but shake his head at the sort of people he kept company with. "Listen, Lawliet, you have to keep quiet about that."
"What will I receive for my silence?"
"Lawliet…"
"I'm joking, Raito. You're very serious. That's not good for your system. But please tell Mello that kind of thing, not I. After all, I'm not the one running around, selling secrets for chocolate."
"… That's true."
"So what's the problem?" he asked, adjusting his hat.
Raito looked him over for a second before surrendering. "It's just that. People are starting to find out. If it reaches Dean Wammy, I don't know what will happen…"
"Either you will be fired or Matt will be kicked out of the academy."
Raito narrowed his eyes. "You're so comforting, Lawliet."
"Mmf," he grunted, moving on to another piece and smiling when he saw there was a large strawberry on the top of it. "I have no experience in these types of matters," he said after chewing.
"…" Raito blinked. "You mean you and Matsuda aren't…?"
L lowered his fork to give a dark look to Raito. "Matsuda and I have a professional relationship when it comes to our work. Besides, we are not compatible in that way."
"If you had Near as your model, would it be different?"
L glanced at Raito and then redirected his gaze back to the cake. "Perhaps," he murmured.
Raito nodded, leaned back in his chair and continued to watch L eat. Why were things always so complicated?
-
That night, Gevanni came back in from chaperoning what he called "Matt and Near's play date" in Near's dorm room. He had been convinced into volunteering for the job after hearing how Hal had called their time together very sweet and Gevanni wanted to see for himself. But all he thought was that Matt was being very odd. What eighteen-year-old played with socks on a floor? Someone could have said the same thing about a sixteen-year-old but Gevanni might've shot them. Near was different. Near was special.
And most importantly, Near was fragile.
Over the course of the past week, Gevanni had observed some very strange things with those two boys that Near was so fond of. Matt seemed to be very prone to winking at Near and causing the boy to blush. Mello didn't have to do anything to cause Near to blush. Mello seemed to love cussing and Matt seemed to love pornography as Gevanni had found out by digging around in the drawer while the boys were out of the room. All of them were marked in Sharpie, Belongs to Matt! Hand off! DX
He had thrown them all away and hoped that Near had not found them previously. After assessing all of that on his way down the hall and into the dorm, he had come to a very dangerous decision.
"What's wrong, Gevanni?" Hal asked, dressed in her silk red pajamas and sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Nothing," he sighed, sinking down onto the mattress.
"You can't come to bed in your suit."
"Why?" he asked, eyebrow raised. "I'm beat, I've been watching over Near for hours."
"Near is not a handful."
He sighed, placing an arm over his eyes. "I know it," he mumbled.
Hal sighed. "At least take your shoes off."
"Okay…"
"Lester, I'm turning off the lights now."
"Alright."
The lights went off and left the apartment in pitch darkness. Gevanni kicked off his shoes somewhere onto the floor and rolled into bed with Hal, laying his face into the pillow. The days rolled around in his head and all he could think of was Near's safety? Was he really going to do this and not tell Hal and Lester? … He had to. It was for Near's own good. He closed his eyes and thought about the time that would be best for him to install the cameras in Near's bedroom.
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to be continued.
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A/N: Well, don't expect an update everyday… I just wanted to surprise you. How about telling me what you think?