This took forever to finish, and I'm not quite satisfied with it, but plz enjoy it the most you can =)
"I thought he'd have my eyes, since mine are darker. Same goes for his hair. It's as white as yours," Though I had been anticipating the child to look like me, I knew deep down that I'd wanted Nero to look like Vergil all along. Silver hair and all. The eyes though, I was surprised how much they resembled Vergil's. They didn't have the same look to them. Vergil's eyes always carried a manner of aloofness. The color however, was identical to his father's. They were the baby blue eyes all newborns had. Those were Vergil's eyes. During my research about demon pregnancies, I'd uncovered that Demons such as I was, the ones who took more human appearances, were stronger. My appearance had nothing to do with being half human. Also, I learned that demons were born with all the features that they would have for the rest of their lives; Meaning that Nero's hair and eyes and nose ...etc. were the ones he would have for the rest of his life, granted with a little bit of developing along the way. So his eyes would always be this color and his hair as well.
What had me scared was his teeth. When those babies grew in I just knew that breast feeding was going to be hell. Demons started teething faster than humans. Half breeds grew faster, both mentally and physically. I knew this. I was an example of it. Also, a demon's affinities or abilities for that matter developed strongly in the first few months after birth. I was curious. I could manipulate elements, read auras and was physically advanced. Vergil was physically advanced as well. Especially his speed. His specific affinity was combat and even more specifically, swordsmanship. There were countless other things he could do, but there was no point in listing them. Either way, as a combination between us, what Nero would be able to do really just peaked my interest.
"Here you were so sure he would have your hair and eyes," Vergil had found it to his liking. Of course he would. I didn't know if he liked rubbing it in more than the actual thing or not. Probably both. Something told me he was the kind who liked the idea of dominance. Whether it was in power or the gene pool. Or maybe it was just me. Why would Vergil ever feel the need to dominate?
"Well, I was sure he was a boy, and looky here," I pointed to the quiet child in my arms.
"Gender is a fifty-fifty guess, Sarla. Guessing traits is more difficult,"
"I already knew that the chances of recessive traits have a better chance than normal of showing in demons. Obviously not as much as dominant but the chances are better," Honestly, all the books I'd read went into more detail than my biology II textbook from school did. The libraries of the mansion were filled with books on subjects I'd never even heard of. However the books that referred to demons were more commonly found in the private library which Vergil had come to this mansion to discover. It was all in order to gain information on his father and the seals. The very seal that Arkham had come to inform Vergil about during my horrible time of labor, still remained untouched. Vergil still hadn't left to unbind its magic. Secretly I was relieved that he hadn't yet. Nothing would stop him from doing it, but for the time being, having him here instead of opening the gate held more appeal to me.
He sighed. He'd barely held Nero. Only when he was born... An experience much more painful than I had ever imagined. I had been afraid I'd pop every blood vessel in my body. I had been glad when Alice had come in. It saved Vergil from having to be on the recieving end and so that he could let me squeeze the feeling from his hand. He hadn't been to thrilled about that.
"Do you want to hold him? I have to go to the bathroom," It was more of an excuse to get him to hold Nero than it was for me to empty my bladder, but it benefited me as well. I did need to pee.
He hesitated, scoffed, then ran his fingers through his hair, disrupting the styled angles and letting them fall unevenly around his face. He really made it hard to breathe when around him. Then he turned to me on the couch and outstretched his arms and took Nero from me, holding him uneasily. I steadied his hold and he relaxed, cradling Nero's small body against his chest. I paused, watching Nero's breathing fall in rythem with Vergil's own steady breaths, before rising and heading to the bathroom.
There had never been a time when I could call Vergil cute. Not until now. Two white haired devils together and holding each other. That was when I realized Nero had opened his eyes and was peering up at Vergil wonderously. Nobody remembers being a baby and so I couldn't help but wonder what it must be like being brought into the world. What did they see? What did they hear, smell, and feel? What were their senses filled with? The farthest back my memory stretched, I was barely two. That was another thing I had read in the books. Demons' memories were sharper than humans'. They could remember all the way back to their youngest years. Obviously not as newborns or even year olds but they would be able to recall images and such. That probably explained why Vergil, Dante, and I could remember some things about Sparda. ...His human form.
He'd had hair as white as his sons' and now his grandson's. When Vergil said that he looked like Sparda, it wasn't a joke. From the pictures I could conjure up, he was the spitting image of Sparda. The shape of his face, his nose, his eyes, and definately his chin. Above all else was Vergil's size. Six foot-three and two hundred pounds of all muscle. Vergil came off as big but also lean at the same time. He wasn't enormous, but he was a big guy. He made me feel petite next to him, and I was tall as well and not particularly stick thin. As Vergil put it, I had the body of an athlete and a model mixed into one. I wasn't quite sure what to make of that. All I knew was that it felt like my legs went on for miles.
So Nero was bound to be tall. He was bound to be strong. And if he took after the father the way he was looking to, I was going to have to lock him up and away from the girls. The boy was barely a day old, and I'd already thought this far ahead.
I finished my potty break and sat beside my white demons on the couch. Vergil offered me to take Nero, but I insisted he continue holding him. I had seen Vergil the demon. Vergil the killer. Vergil the knight. Vergil my lover. Vergil my confident. I had seen Vergil afraid, sad, mad, hateful, jealous, annoyed, cold, lustful, passionate, exhausted, hurt, and power hungry. I had never seen Vergil, the father. Vergil, the father of my child. Our child. As much as he followed the demon path, he looked so human to me in that moment. He looked like the nervous, new father. I'd viewed Vergil as beautiful countless times, but he made the moment beautiful now. Not just him, but the scene itself. I felt the urge to take a picture, as I knew it wouldn't last forever.
And so I did.
Much to his irritation. However, he knew not to reap me of such joy. This picture was going in my album.
Ah, the album. A large leather bound book that held my memories within it. I had always saved pictures since I was young. My mother had gotten me into the habit of saving pictures and putting them into the album. When Vergil discovered it the first time and found all his childhood pictures with Dante and myself, he threatened to burn it and I had to freeze him to the floor -literally- to keep him from taking it. I had found a better hiding place for it since then.
... Underneath his side of the bed. They say you miss what's right under your nose. So far it worked.
"I'm going to take a nap, so why don't you watch him?" Once again I was trying to ease Vergil into the Father position. However, I was exhausted and sleep would be welcomed wholeheartedly.
He looked at me for only the second time with terror. The first being the time when I told him I was pregnant. His aura flared with panic for the first time and I smiled, "He's calm and half asleep already. You shouldn't have any trouble," He still didn't answer.
Vergil afraid, was frightening to me.
"Vergil, he's your son. I carried the boy for nine months and just went through hell giving him to you. I still haven't slept and my body feels like it could collapse. If you get tired of holding him and he's asleep, put him in the crib," I reassured forcefully. I realized that with Vergil, you couldn't be just gentle, you would have to be firm as well. It was like Eva. Eva was the kindest, sweetest, and most pure hearted person the world had ever known, but she was firm. She was strong, and she never gave up -no matter what it was- to the very end. She was the epitome of what a woman should be. Her beauty was a bonus in that. Sometimes I swore she had to have been an angel.
When I woke from a much needed slumber I looked to the couch to see Vergil in the same position I'd left him in. Nero was fast asleep in the arms of his father. I smiled.
"How long have I been out?" I rubbed my eyes haggardly.
"A few hours," He wasn't surprised I was awake. He'd probably sensed me waking.
"I'll take him for you," I offered but he Shhhd me.
"I'll hold him a bit longer. It's no big deal. You should go get something to eat," I must have looked at him with astonishment ironed to my face. He looked at me, puzzled by my reaction, "I'm sure you're hungry. I mean it's you we're talking about," He added, clearly unaware of what I was truly surprised by. His offer to hold Nero longer had me frozen to the spot with surprise. I knew Vergil wasn't all bad, but he wasn't all good, either. His offer to babysit just scared the hell out of me because it was a gesture that was so uncharacteristic of him. Despite my surprise, I excused myself to the kitchen.
Alice sat impatiently on one of the bar stools, tapping her nails repetitively onto the black marble counters, laced with white streams. She perked up when I entered, "Finally! Arkham has had me on a tight leash. I'm not allowed to enter unless Vergil says so! I only got to deliver the kid. I haven't really gotten a good look at him!" She whined and then pointed a finger, "And what are you doing down here when you have a baby to care for?"
"I'm hungry," I stated.
"Well no surprise there, I suppose. Gah, shouldn't you be fat after giving birth?" She slid her eyes over my body as if looking for some hidden pouch of fat on my person.
"Good thing about being a halfbreed is that apparently it's nearly impossible to gain weight," I lifted my tank and showed what laid beneath. I recalled a time when I was younger and unaware of what I was. I had hated the idea of giving birth because of all the weight I would put on. Now, it was like a dream come true. The pain hadn't been all that great but that was done and over.
"I'll say. So how is Vergil taking to it? Him as a father is something I can't imagine," She laughed, twirling a strand of blonde hair around her finger.
"I thought that too, at first. I'm quite surprised though. He is the one who named the kid, too," I scratched the back of my head, perplexed by the enigma of Vergil.
"It really is amazing what love can do to a devil," Alice had taken on a more thoughtful expression, her eyes staring off into the countertops.
"What do you mean?"
"If you ask me The most powerful weapon against a devil is love. Well, maybe not as a weapon but it can make a significant change to the character of a demon. Take Sparda for example. Something must have softened his outlook on humans, or maybe he just pitied them, but either way, to mate with a human... that's just crazy to us purebloods-"
"Purebloods, halfbloods, quarter bloods, does it really matter? You can't help who you love. Humans are more emotional than devils but that doesn't mean a devil is completely incapable of such feeling," I interrupted, not so much annoyed by her but by the words. Wasn't there a saying, "The truth hurts"? Sounded like the theme to my life story.
"I'm not trying to offend you. You and Vergil are far stronger than current purebloods. Being halfbreeds doesn't really dilute the power in your blood in your cases. Especially Vergil, since he's already mastered his powers. You however! You are unstable!" She lifted her index finger sharply. She was like a mother the way she scolded despite being five years younger than me. If not a mother, then a whiny little sister.
"I'm aware that I'm unstable. Compared to when Vergil first took me with him, I'm a lot better. It's my devil trigger that I'm worried about. Mine's more complex than his. It doesn't help that I was raised unaware of my heritage and sealed away nontheless. My mother didn't want my father to find me so she and Sparda sealed power. When Vergil released the Seal it was too much so he ended up resealing my powers himself, so it's not as stable as the previous one. The seal he used on me only restricts that power as long as I allow it-"
"In other words, you have to keep all your dark feelings under control. Vergil said you could partially transform on your own, though," Before I even had time to realize she had moved, she was pooring me a bowl of cinnamon toasters and handing me a spoon.
"It takes effort but what you saw that one time is all I can do. I can't really control myself all that well in the next stage. Now that Nero's born I can finally return to that part of my training. Vergil only has two more seals to go and then all hell will break loose. Literally! Once he does that I won't be able to train very often so I need to get a lot done in such a short amount of time," I took my first bite and nearly drowned hapiness. Food! Sweet delicious food that I had not eaten since before going into labor. Oh!
"Your appetite never ceases to amaze me. By the way, I've been meaning to ask you something," She was serious out of the blue.
"What?" I said around a mouthful.
"What were you planning on doing once he recieves Sparda's power?" Her unwavering saphire eyes bore into me and for the first time I actually was able to acknowledge Alice's strength. She wasn't entirely all fun and games, "I know you're against the whole operation so what were you planning on doing to him once he achieves his goal? Without Sparda's power he cannot even hope to reseal the tower. This city will be engulfed by the tower and ravaged by the demons, you know that. Being raised a human, your morals conflict with this. You would never just stand by while such destruction occured. So what are you plotting is what I would like to ask," Alice. Were you always this good at reading people?
I hadn't thought about it for a while. I'd put those thoughts aside because of my pregnancy, but now that she was sizing up my intentions, I couldn't help thinking about it. Before, I would have fought Vergil, whether I was strong enough or not, and I would have killed him; but that was before we had become bound to one another as deeply as we were. The thought of killing Vergil... almost made me want to cry. Without Vergil... I would be alone and Nero would be fatherless. However, choosing Vergil over the world was selfish. Vergil may have been the world to me, but he wasn't the world to those who would be killed because of him. Alice or anybody for that matter could say that I didn't love him enough, but the fact was that I was so in love with him that I had actually given up everything for him. A normal human life. My friends and my own family had ended up coming second in the end. I had abandoned my promise to Eva to watch over Dante in order to stay by Vergil. I loved him, no matter what others said.
"I would fight,"
"Would you kill him?" Her eyes were truly like daggers, almost as sharp as her words. I couldn't hide my hesitation to answer. The answer had to be written all over my face. Her eyes narrowed. She knew.
"I could if I would," I answered.
"I think you have your words mixed," Her brows lifted with her confusion.
"No. I could kill him if I would. I would probably die in the process but I could kill him. I'm not as skilled as him. I can hold my own against him but I could never defeat him unless I pushed myself to my absolute limit. The only way I could avoid that would be to seal him instead," I tried to work my way around the question, but Alice wasn't that forgiving.
"You still didn't give me an exact answer. If it comes to it, will you kill him?" Damn you, Alice!
"Yes," I answered the challenge in her eyes with my own, "But I pray, that it will not come to that," I swallowed the last of cereal and drank the remaining milk; wiping my lips on my sleeve, "I'll do anything to avoid that,"
We stared, neither of us ever batting a lash. Just when I thought it would last forever, she sighed.
"I'm not anywhere near your level, but if you hurt him, I'll come at you with all that I have. Know that," Once again she pointed an acusing finger and this time pushed my nose.
"I know, Alice," I was flooded with relief once I saw that she was back to her usual self. A serious Alice was more weird than I imagined. Alice and I immediatly perked up at the sound of wailing.
"Sarla, he's crying," A cool but seemingly distressed voice came from the doorway. I looked to see Vergil standing there with a crying Nero and a panicked expression plastered over his face. He was entire out of his comfort zone, I realized. It was honestly quite humorous seeing him so flustered.
"Vergil, what part of my body do you like the most?" I grinned. He looked at me as if asking such a question didn't make any sense at such a time. He really did have an adorable side of him. Sometimes I even thought he himself was still like a kid in some ways. His stubborn attitude rivaled a toddler's. For the most part he was in control of his feelings but every now and then they were let loose and those were the times when I could see a new expression on his face. Watching him and observing him never seemed boring. Not to me anyway. ... And certainly not to Alice.
"Your breasts," Of course I already knew that. Other than boobs he liked my legs and back. I wondered if I was imagining the faint blush under the light creamy beige of his skin.
"So does Nero," I held out my arms, beckoning him. I could see he was nervous from his aura but he still handed Nero to me as carefully as he would handle Yamato. That was saying something, "Time to eat," I giggled as I fixed Nero in my arms.
"I was content with your breasts before, but I can't help envying the brat since they're even bigger and he gets them all to himself," Vergil almost appeared to be pouting.
"You'll get your turn, just wait," I teased and stole a kiss.
"You know I'm not a patient person, Sarla," He grumbled but didn't pull his forehead away from mine.
"Ugh, now we're back to how it was before she was knocked up. I'll be sure to turn my radio up tonight. Enjoy yourselves," Alice waved a goodbye.
I caught her smiling fondly at Nero before exiting the room, and then I peered up at Vergil who was surprisingly doing the same. It hit then. My answer. It was painstakingly obvious. I knew it was the truth but even so, I couldn't help feeling that it may be the only way, no matter how much it would hurt in the end. Despite the fact that the truth to this question and answer was supposed to be more comforting, I knew that in the end, it was a lose and lose situation for me. No matter what, I lose something, whether it be my morals, or my love, and even... the father of my child.
I can't kill him.