A/N: Okay, okay, i know that this update was long, long overdue and for that I apologize! I'm doing the best that I can with writing this story and contending with RL. It's not always easy, so stick in there with me! Thank you so much in advnace for your understanding.

To my wonderful beta TwiDi- Thank you sooooo much for being patient with me, and understanding! I love you lots and I've missed you bunches! I promise not to keep you waiting that long again! 3

Disclaimer: Nothing Twilight belongs to me. I'm just having fun! :) Enjoy!

Chapter 14- Things Aren't Always Easy

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."-Catherine Ponder

BPOV

I woke up to the sun shining on the side of my face. It felt wonderful, but I wasn't ready to get up and I, for damn sure, wasn't ready to face the day. I knew just what I needed… Rose and Ali. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was only 9am, so I had some time to go out for breakfast with the girls and then Edward. Then I could head to La Push around lunch time. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice that Edward wasn't in bed. I sat up, tilted my head down and ran my fingers through my hair. I felt like I looked like a steaming pile of shit. I groaned out loud.

"What's wrong, baby?" I heard Edward's voice. I looked up at him and offered him a small smile that I was sure didn't reach my eyes. It was forced that's for sure.

"I'm okay… I think… no, I know I look like shit right now, I don't know if I'm ready for La Push and I just really feel like I need some 'girl time' this morning. Ugh! I'm sorry, honey, for unloading on you like this." I finished and threw the covers over my head.

I probably needed a Valium or Prozac and some fuckin' alcohol, but none of those things were available right now, so I didn't know what the hell I needed at this moment in time. I heard some shuffling around the room, but I refused to come from under my temporary safe haven. I could hide under here as long as I wanted and nobody could tell me differently… I know I'm acting like a big ass baby, but so the hell what! The next thing I knew, I heard Edward talking on the phone.

"Sorry, man. Can you put her on the phone, please?" he asked.

"Hey. Can you get dressed and come over here? No, no everything is fine. She needs you. Thanks. See you then." He finished his phone call. I felt the mattress shift under his weight as he sat down on the bed.

He pulled the covers off me, picked me up and put me in this lap. He just hugged me and rubbed my back for a while. It was the thing I didn't know I needed, but it just felt so good. He felt good. I felt myself starting to calm down. Even if it was just a little bit. He tilted my face towards him.

"First of all, you look beautiful… you always do, even when you first wake up. Second of all, if you are not ready for La Push, then we don't have to go and you know that. Lastly, don't you ever apologize for unloading on me; I'm a big boy, I can handle it and it's what I am here for. You can talk to me about anything." He gave me a small peck on the lips. He stood up and placed me gently on my feet.

"Go take a shower. You have company coming over." He said.

"Thank you, Edward. You have no idea how much better you've made me feel, baby. I owe you one." I winked at him as I walked to the bathroom.

"I'll remember that." he laughed as I shut the bathroom door.

I was genuinely feeling better and my mood was improving as I let the hot water cascade down my body. I truly was one lucky girl. I wanted to make my shower quick, but because of the mood I was in, I lingered longer than usual; determined to take my sweet time. The world could wait for me. I let out a groan as the water started to run cold. I knew that no matter how long I stayed in here, the clock was still ticking and time was something that waited for no one.

I turned off the water and towel-dried my hair. I wasn't going to bother with a blow dryer today; I just didn't feel like it. Anyway, it didn't make sense to dry it when I knew that Edward and I were going to go to the beach. I peeked back into the room and noticed that Edward was gone, but I heard voices outside in the hall. I didn't pay them any attention and started getting dressed for breakfast. I would change when I got back home. I was in no mood to get all dressed up and cute. So, I decided on a plain white shirt and blue jean shorts. I threw on some white flip flops and put a white head-band in my still damp hair and walked out of the room. I knew that I had to call Rose, so that she could meet us for breakfast, but that could wait a second. I went in search of Ali. I found her in the living room and she was sitting there with Rose.

"Finally! Damn! I have been here for like a fucking hour!" Rose said with mock irritation. I looked at her and then I looked at Edward. He stood up and walked towards me. He stood behind me and wrapped his strong arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder. He placed a small kiss on my neck.

"I thought you could go for your 'girl time' and then we can talk about La Push when you get back. How does that sound?" he whispered in my ear. I shifted my body and turned to look at him; I wrapped my arms around him and stared into his beautiful green eyes. I loved him so much that sometimes my chest hurt, but it wasn't a bad pain. I remember hearing Rose say that sometimes 'loving Emmett hurts so good'. I didn't understand and I laughed at her at that time. But now, staring at Edward and seeing in his eyes the love that matched my own, made me want to cry.

"That sounds perfect and you are absolutely amazing and I love you so much." I said as I pulled his face down and gave him a kiss. He responded immediately and I seriously forgot that anyone was in the room until I heard someone clear their throat.

"Excuse me, do you want to finish that up here or are we going to breakfast, you love sick fools." Rose said as she tapped her foot impatiently on the floor.

"Hush up, Rose. I think it's pretty damn cute." Alice said as she slapped Rose on the arm. I gave Edward one final kiss and told him that we would talk when I got back. I grabbed my purse and sunglasses.

"Come on, girls. Let's go." I said as we all walked to Alice's car.

The ride there was fairly quiet. I could tell that Rose was getting aggravated and she wanted to say something, but since no one was talking I knew that she would wait until we got to the restaurant and then the gloves would come off. I would have only taken Alice with me, but I think that I needed Rose's bluntness when it came to these situations. But after that, I would need Ali's sweet reasoning and wisdom too. They complimented each other and I knew that with the two of them here with me, I would either come out of it ready to go to La Push or I wouldn't be going at all. We took our usual booth in the back of the diner and ordered our drinks. The waitress sat them down, asked us if we needed anything else and walked away. I picked up my glass of orange juice and was getting ready to take a sip, when Rose started to speak.

"Ok, Bella. I played the quiet game on the way here. I will not continue to play it during breakfast. Are you going to tell us what the fuck is going on or do I need to use other means to get it out of you?" she raised her eyebrow at me. I knew that now I had to lay it all out there.

"Fine, Rose. My dad is in La Push with Billy and they are going on a long fishing trip. They are leaving today and my dad wants me to come down to La Push, so that he can see me before he goes. I have two problems with this situation. One, that there is a strong possibility that Jacob is going to be down there and I'm not sure if I'm ready to deal with him. Second problem, is that Edward will be going with me. I don't know how he is going to react to Jacob and I don't know how my dad is going to react when I tell him that Edward and I are dating now. This is all just so fucked up and I'm about ready to say 'fuck it all' and not even go down to La Push." I finished with a huff. I looked up and noticed that Rose and Alice were staring at me, but neither of them looked like they knew what they wanted to say.

"Bella, you shouldn't do anything that you aren't comfortable doing. Edward is not going to make you go. No one can make you go. This is something that you are going to have to decide on, on your own. I know that this isn't what you want to hear, but that's all I can say. If you want me to come with you for support, I can do that. If you want to stay home today and watch movies and stuff our faces with ice cream, I can do that too." Alice said as she smiled at me.

"Look, Bells. I sort of agree with Ali. She is right, no one can make you go, but I can tell you right now that you cannot continue to run away from your problems. You are bound to run across Jacob one day. So, why try to avoid the inevitable? He has no more control over you; you have a good man now. There should be no reason why you should continue to act as if he has all the power. I say that you take your ass down there and show him how happy you are. Shit! If I were you, I would even thank him for being such an ass to you, because without him doing that to you, you would have never known what it is that you were looking for out of a relationship. As for Charlie's reaction to you dating Edward, I don't think you have anything to worry about. We all saw it coming, so don't think that Chief Swan didn't see it either. Honestly, babe, you worry way too much!" Rose reached across the table and pinched my nose.

They both had good points. I knew that I couldn't continue to spend my life running from difficult situations. I mean, let's face it. There are going to be problems that will be much worse than what I have to deal with now. I'm going to La Push and whatever happens, I know that Edward will be right there with me.

EPOV

It was a rough night… and an even rougher morning. I damn near blew a fucking gasket when Bells told me that she was going to La Push. I knew that I shouldn't have reacted quite so harshly, but I for damn sure wasn't about to let her go by herself. I didn't trust that Jacob fucker. I could tell this morning that she was on the brink of a break down and her stomach was in knots. I hated seeing her like that. It reminded me of that day she stumbled out of the woods and onto my front porch. No one else had seen her like I saw her that night; and I never wanted to see her like that again. I knew that there weren't many things I could do for her right now. So, I opted on calling Rose, because I knew that if anyone could get Isabella to listen, it would be the infamous Rosalie. I didn't want to let her out of my sight today, but I knew that Rose and Ali could handle it. I sat down on the couch in the living room and put my head in my hands. I didn't know anyone was in the room with me until they spoke.

"You wanna talk about it, E?" I heard Jasper's voice. I looked up.

"There isn't much to really talk about, Jazz. Bella and I are going down to La Push to see Charlie before he goes on this fishing trip with Billy. And I just have this feeling… that we are going to run into Jacob and I'm going to lose my fuckin' cool." I tugged at my hair out of frustration.

"E, what you need to do is be there for Bells. It's going to be harder for her than it's going to be for you. You need to let her know that you're there for her. She already has to contend with her own emotions. She shouldn't have to be worried about yours as well. Knowing Bella, I can bet that she is probably more worried about how you are going to react to the situation, so you have to keep your cool… for her." Jasper said.

"You're right, man. I just need to keep my temper in check and focus on getting Bella through this, if we even go. She wants to talk about what she wants to do when she comes back from breakfast." I leaned back on the couch.

Jasper gave me a lot to think about. If Bella decided to go to La Push, then I would be her pillar of strength. I had to let her know that she could count on me to do something right because, God knows, I have fucked some shit up when it has come to Bella. I needed to show her that I could be what she desperately needed me to be. Jasper and I sat in relative silence, the TV was on, but I really wasn't paying much attention to it.

I was in my own world until I heard tires crunching on the gravel in the driveway. Bella was back from breakfast. The door opened and in walked the girls. They were joking and laughing, so I knew that whatever Bella needed this morning, she was able to find in Rose and Ali. I was thankful that she was back and seemed to be in good spirits. She walked over and sat in my lap. She gave me a small peck on the lips and laid her head on my shoulder and proceeded to play with the hair on the back of my neck. Neither of us spoke. We just sat there, in the moment, exchanging the positive electricity that was flowing through us.

"Do you wanna talk, sweetheart?" I asked after a while. She lifted her head up and looked me in my eyes.

"I want to go to La Push. I'm confident that I can handle it and I trust that you'll be able to help me through it. I just need for you to promise me that you won't fly off the handle. I need you there for me and only me." She pleaded with her eyes. I couldn't deny this girl anything.

"I promise that I won't make this any harder on you than it has to be. I just want everything to be okay with you." I gave her a reassuring kiss.

"Thank you, baby. Let's go get ready to go." She took my hand and led us upstairs. I hoped that I could be everything that I promised her to be.

BPOV

I went into the guest room and put on my red and white polka dot bikini and I slipped on a red cover-up that could pass for a light summer dress. I grabbed my sunglasses, tote bag and walked out of the room. I was as ready as I was going to be. Edward was standing in the hallway waiting for me. He looked absolutely delicious in a pair of green swim trunks and a white t-shirt; I know that to some people that would seem like just an ordinary outfit that you would wear to the beach, but Edward had this way of making everything he wore look sexy. He was like a walking billboard for sex; and he was all mines. The thought made me smile.

"What are you smiling about, beautiful?" Edward smirked at me.

"I'm smiling because I realize a little more each day just how far I've come and just how far I'm going to go with you." I said as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He gave me a little squeeze.

"I think I'm the lucky one here, babe. You ready to get this show on the road?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." I gave him a reassuring smile. We walked out of the door and climbed into his precious Volvo.

We drove in almost complete silence; with Edward squeezing my hand reassuringly the closer we got to the reservation. I don't think he realized how much that helped me and how comforted I felt. Many different scenarios were running through my mind. This could go either way, it could end up being a really good thing, or this shit could explode in my face. We were fifteen minutes away when I decided that I should call my dad to see where he wanted to meet.

"Bells?" He answered.

"Hey, dad. I'm fifteen minutes away. Where do you want to meet?"

"Um… how about we meet at First beach?"

"Ok, dad. See you soon."

"I can't wait." He replied. I hit the end button on my phone and told Edward where we would be going.

We pulled up at First Beach and I noticed that there wasn't anyone on the beach which meant that Edward was the first to arrive. I walked down towards the water and stared out into the horizon. I was lost in thought when a pair of strong and familiar arms snaked around my waist. I leaned into Edward and took a deep breath.

"You okay, baby?" he kissed the side of my neck.

"Yeah. I'm good. It's beautiful out here." I sighed as I leaned back into his warm body.

Edward was getting ready to say something, but he was interrupted when we heard laughter behind us. We turned around to see Billy, my dad and Jacob walking up the beach towards us. My whole body tensed up and I felt a shiver run up my back. They were still a long way away from us and hadn't seen us yet; Edward spun me around, grabbed both my hands and started rubbing soothing circles on the palm of my hand.

"Everything is going to be okay, Bella. You don't have to be nervous or anxious. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I promise to be on my best behavior." He winked at me. I gave him a small smile, took a deep breath and turned around just as the others spotted us. We walked towards them and as I got closer to my dad, I broke out in a huge smile. He looked so happy to see me and I was sure that he didn't think I was going to come.

"Bells! I'm glad you could make it." He looked back and forth between me and Edward, "hey, Edward." He said and I could tell that he was worried about what would happen between Jacob and Edward. Jacob had caught up to us by now and I could tell that he was uncomfortable with the situation, but I really couldn't care less. I turned to Edward and whispered in his ear that I was going to talk to my dad alone.

"Sure, go ahead and I remember what I promised." He smirked at me. Oh God, how I love this man!

"Dad, can I talk to you for a minute."

"Sure thing, kid. Let's take a walk."

We started walking along the beach. And before long, we came to a log that looked like it had been set up during a bonfire. I took a seat on it and Charlie sat down next to me, but he put a little distance between us. I was completely losing my mind over having to discuss this with him, but I didn't want him to find out any other way. I was digging my feet in the sand and was starting to count the grains when I heard him speak.

"Bells, you said you wanted to talk and I can tell from your nervous fidgeting that this is something that is weighing heavily on you. What is it? You know you can talk to me." He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Dad, I don't really know how to tell you this…" I started.

"You are not pregnant, are you!?!" he yelled.

"God, no! Dad!! How could you even? ... What are you thinking? That is not it!" I stumbled over my words because I couldn't believe that he would think that I would tell him that kind of news sitting on a log in the middle of the deserted beach. Hell no! If I was going to drop a bomb like that, it would be at the police station… where there are plenty of witnesses!

"I'm sorry, Bells. I jumped the gun there, didn't I?" he chuckled.

"Yeah, you did. I was going to tell you that Edward and I are together." I rushed the words out in a jumbled mess. Charlie was quiet for a little while and I couldn't quite read his face.

"I figured this would happen sooner or later, Bells. I gave up on it after a while, but recently the way I've caught him looking at you, like he was trying to figure out the answer to some unspoken question. It was during your choir performance on the last day of school when I saw the light bulb flash above his head and the look in his eyes… it was the way I used to look at… your mother." He explained and I saw sadness in his eyes that I'm sure mirrored my own when he mentioned my mother. He loved her with everything he had, I loved her with everything I had and somehow our love combined wasn't good enough to make her stay. I found myself hating her for it, but I was always conflicted because how are you supposed to hate someone who has given you life?

"I love him, dad." I blushed.

"I know you do, Bells. You have for a while." He smiled.

"How did you…"

"Come on, baby doll. Give your old man some credit. I'm not that out of tune in the area of love. I know it when I see it, because I've felt it from your mother and I feel it from you every day." He placed his hand back on my shoulder. I couldn't help it; I launched myself into his arms and gave him the tightest hug I could.

"Thank you so much for not freaking out on me!" I smiled and felt like the weight of a thousand bricks had been lifted from my shoulders.

"Hey, now don't get me wrong, I'm worried about how much time you guys spend alone, but I trust you to make smart decisions, so don't prove me wrong. Okay, kiddo?" I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was serious.

"I promise that I won't make any stupid decisions, dad." I held one hand up and put the other over my heart. He reached out and ruffled my hair.

"That's my girl. What do you say we get back to the others and have a good time before Billy and I leave?"

"Let's go." I said as we started walking back to join the crowd.

EPOV

Here I was standing alone with Jacob douche-bag Black and I was trying to get a grip on the anger that was flowing through me. I desperately needed Bella next to me, to keep me calm. As I was focusing on trying to take deep cleansing breaths, he decided to fuck up my concentration and speak.

"So, you and Bella… huh?" he had this smug cockiness to his voice and it grated on my nerves like nails on a damn chalkboard.

"Yeah. Me and Bella." I avoided looking at him.

"Hmm… I knew that was coming. Why else would you be so fuckin' worried about Bella's relationship with me? You always had a fuckin' way of sticking your nose where it didn't fuckin' belong."

Was he fucking serious? Was he trying to push me over the edge? If that was his goal, he was really damn close to needing a reconstructive surgery.

"I suggest, you, calm the fuck down. I'm using major constraint in order to not knock you the fuck out and if it wasn't for the promise that I made to Bella, your ass wouldn't be standing here talking to me, because you'd be fighting to take your next God damn breath. You and Bella are in the past. I never interfered in your relationship with her. The way you fucked up was of no fault of mine. You did that shit all on your own. So, I'm going to turn my back and walk off, because if I continue to stand here and talk to you, I won't be responsible for what I do." I turned around and started walking down the beach.

"I wasn't finished talking to you, Cullen." He said as I heard his footsteps approaching me from behind. I couldn't help it; I swung around and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"What the fuck did I tell you?!? Do you think this is a fucking game? Do you? If you do, then I can promise you that it's about to be game over for your ass." I reeled my hand back and prepared to rearrange his face when I heard her voice.

"Edward! Stop! What are you doing?!?" I heard Bella screaming as she came running down the beach. I pushed Jacob to the sand and continued down the beach. I needed to pull it together. I heard Bella coming after me, but I couldn't bring myself to stop.

"Talk to me, Edward! Please!" she caught up to me and spun me around.

"I can't do this right now, Bella. I don't know why I pretended that I could be civil to him. I fuckin' hate him! I fuckin' hate what he did to you! He doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut!" I felt like I was about to rip my hair out, with the way I was tugging on it. I sat down in the sand and put my head in my hands.

"Baby, calm down. I'm ready to put it behind me and if I can do that, then I know that you can too."

She sat down in front of me and lifted my head so that I was looking into her eyes.

"I love you, Edward Anthony Cullen. More than I've ever loved anyone… ever." She placed her lips on mine and I was lost in the essence of her. Everything and everyone disappeared; I would never get tired of the feeling of her lips on mine. It always seemed to make the world stop spinning on its axis.

"Thank you, Bella. I needed to hear that and I need you to hear this… I love you too. And I'll never love anyone else ever again." I saw a tear slip down her cheek. I leaned over and kissed her cheek until the tears and the tracks they left were gone.

"How did I ever get so lucky?" she sniffled. I was about to remind her that I was the lucky one when we were interrupted.

"Can I talk to you, Bella?"

I looked up and noticed that the words were coming out of the mouth of Jacob Black. This kid was really working my fuckin' nerves!

A/N: Like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know! :) Come play with me on Twitter, I promise we'll have lots of fun! BxECullen! Hope to see you there!