Thanksgiving was less than ideal. Jacob and I spent it apart. He stayed at home with his dad and ate pizza as I understand, while I went back to Oregon with Sam and Emily. I told my mom about Jacob (Emily mentioned his name at any and all possible moments) and she was a little less than thrilled. I can't tell if she is just against my dating or who I chose to date. However, she did a great job at hiding her dislike from my view (Sam told me about it later). I didn't bother to tell Jacob that my mom didn't exactly favor him.

When we got back to La Push, things became hectic. Apparently, while we were gone, the red headed leech attacked again. And our ever favorite Bella has struck a new level of depression. School is getting crazy with finals and Christmas break approaching. I'm nervous as hell and I can't even explain why. It's like there's this button somewhere and someone pushes it every few days just to watch me be enveloped in panic. Something is going on and I just can't place it.

"Are you sure you're ok? Maybe we should take you to a doctor" Jacob suggested.

I shook my head and regained my balance after stumbling over a rock. Jacob wanted to show me the view from the cliffs. I was a little upset that it was too cold to swim because I really wanted to try cliff diving. We didn't have cliffs like these in Portland.

"I'm fine. Just restless for some reason…" I caught my breath at the top of the cliff where the trees parted. My eyes widened and I stared across the water in awe. The sky was grey but a beautiful contrast to green black water below. I could only imagine how beautiful this would look after the first snow. A few of the trees were frosting and icy already.

"This is amazing!" I breathed. Jacob smiled beside me and reached for my hand. I placed mine in his and smiled at the familiar warmth. I could spend my whole life here, in this moment.

I glanced down at the water and I was a little surprised to see that waves were still crashing into the rocks below. "Shouldn't the water have frozen already?" I asked Jacob.

"It will soon. Usually it does after the first snow."

I nodded and looked down again. Something caught my eye and I leaned closer to the edge. Jacob frantically grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back. "Be careful" he pleaded.

"I saw something" I said. Suddenly my body was overcome with that same panicked feeling. My body burst to life with adrenaline and I was jittery. A little dot of brown swished through the dark waves. When I squinted, I caught sight of pale skin.

I gasped and struggled out of Jacob's arms. "What are you doing?" he nearly screamed. I couldn't answer because the lifeguard in me took over and I was diving down into the murky water.

The impact was sharper than I had imagined. It stung my stomach and caused me to gasp in pain. My eyes frantically searched the waves for that head of brown hair. And just when I thought I had seen wrong, I spotted the girl in time to see her body be consumed by a monstrous wave.

A splash echoed behind me and I could only assume Jacob had followed my plunge. I swam towards where I had last seen the girl. Taking a deep breath, I cupped my hands and pushed the water up around me. My body shot down into the icy water. It was so murky I could hardly see my own hand, however, my fingers tangled in something soft. I squinted and could just make out a face. Losing no time, I wrapped my arm around the girl's chest and kicked towards the surface.

Jacob was right beside me when I resurfaced. "Are you insane?" he snapped.

"I need help!" I called and started to swim with the girl above me towards shore. I was moving at a rather sluggish pace or maybe it only felt that way because my blood was so full of adrenaline. Jacob didn't hesitate and tugged me by the hand to shore. With Jacob's help, we reached the sand much faster than I could have if I was swimming alone.

I immediately lay the girl on the beach and dug my fingers into her neck. "She has a pulse" I called. Then I shuffled over to her head and placing my fingers along her jaw, trust her jaw back opening her airway.

"Come on Bella, breathe!"

Bella. Suddenly all of the girl's features became familiar. Bella coughed and I rolled her onto her side. She fought against me and sat up. She seemed just fine all of a sudden.

"God Bella!" Jacob shouted and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "You scared the hell out of me."

"Are you ok?" I asked her.

She only nodded and tucked her legs into her chest. Her skin was paler than usual. I shivered in the cold. My clothes and jacket were completely soaked and my sopping skin was turning to ice. Jacob noticed that both Bella and I were freezing and stood up. He offered each of us a hand and pulled us to our feet. "Come on. Let's get you two out of the cold" he said and led us towards the street where we had parked earlier. He took long, hurried strides and it was difficult to keep up with him.

I couldn't help but notice that he interlaced his fingers with Bella's the way he does with mine. He squeezed her hand comfortingly just as he has for me.

And he told me he didn't love her anymore.

I didn't want to resent Bella. The logical part of me blamed this sudden anger on half freezing to death and just being mad at the situation. But even when we were in Jacob's car and I was beginning to regain feeling of my toes, I still hated Bella.

"What did you think you were doing?" Jacob scolded the way he had scolded me for jumping off the cliff to save Bella. I wanted that concerned voice to belong to me, and me only. Let her leech worry about her. Not my Jacob.

Bella remained silent like a frightened child. She should be frightened because quite honestly I'm considering bashing her head into the window.

And then I let go of the anger. Because never before have I wanted to hurt another person and I refuse to let myself feel that way now. It wouldn't be worth it. Bella isn't worth my anger.

"I…I…" Bella's eyes met mine in the mirror. I don't know what she saw, but Jacob turned to see as well and a strange look passed over his face.

"Emma… I'm going to take you home" Jacob said softly.

My eyes softened in sadness, I could see this much from the foggy window. Because this may very well be Jacob asking Bella to the prom while I watch, or asking for her hand in marriage and returning mine, used and secondhand. Did he really want to spend this time with Bella and Bella alone? Could he really forget the promise he made me? What happened to my being his world? What happened to not wanting to ever leave me? Because isn't he doing just that?

And for all the sadness brewing in my blood, the frustration was greater. Fine. If that's his decision then fine. He made it clear at the pack meeting that he's much more concerned with Bella's safety than anyone else's. I'd rather be with my pack brothers than an imprint who will push me aside to save another. At least Seth won't let a leech anywhere near me.

Just as he said, Jacob dropped me off at my house. He didn't walk me to the door. He hardly said goodbye. And his eyes, his concerned eyes, didn't leave Bella once. I shivered my way all the way to the house wanting nothing to do with imprinting anymore. I'd rather gamble with love. Because it sucks so much more when your soul mate chooses another over you.

Emily met me at the door with worry written all over her face. That's how Jacob should've looked at me. Seth and Jared were on the couch but jumped over to me once they caught sight of my drenched coat.

"My God!" Emily breathed and quickly stripped me of my coat. I felt a little better without its watery weight, but not much. "What happened?" she nearly shouted.

"You're lips are blue Emma! What did you do? Kiss a leech?" Seth teased.

"No" I said through chattering teeth. "I saved the life of the girl that does."

Jared was about to say something but Emily interrupted. "Go change now! Get out of those clothes before you get sick!" she demanded. I didn't fight her and hurried upstairs to change. I pulled on my warmest sweatshirt and pants that I owned and threw my wet clothes in the bathtub so the water wouldn't ruin the floor. Jared and Seth were waiting for me at the stairs. And as soon as I was within arm's reach, they picked me up and plopped me down on the couch between the two of them.

"Guys! You're squishing me!" I complained.

Jared had a big smirk on his face. "Sorry. It's Doctor Emily's orders" he said without the slightest hint of remorse.

"I'm sure" I laughed. Emily was in front of us in the blink of an eye with a fluffy blanket that she handed to me.

"Here put this on" she instructed. "Now what the heck happened to you?"

I shrugged. "Jacob and I were at the cliffs and I caught sight of Bella – except I didn't know it was Bella at the time – and she got sucked under by a wave. So I jumped in and we pulled her to shore. She coughed up a little water but she was fine."

"Where's Jake?" Seth asked.

Again, I shrugged. "I don't know. He dropped me off and drove off as soon as I was in the door."

"Why didn't he walk you up?" Emily asked. She was accustomed to seeing Jacob walk me to the door whenever we go out. I hadn't noticed we had gotten into such a routine but apparently we had.

"I don't know that either" I huffed.

Jared squeezed my bicep playfully. "He's probably afraid we'd kick his ass for getting our favorite sister sick" he teased.

I smiled and nudged him. Too which he lightly pushed me into Seth who in turn pushed me back. I could survive without Jacob. All I need are these two goofballs.

Once Emily was absolutely positive that I had told her all the details of todays events, Seth, Jared, and I retired to the couch and pulled out one of their video games. I'd like to say that I wasn't the stereotypical girl who sucks at all things video games, but I can't. Because in the first few seconds of the game, Seth managed to kill my character.

"Oh come on! That's cheating and you know it!" I moaned and kicked Jared.

He only laughed and I doubted he felt my kick at all. "It's called snipe mode. And it's not cheating."

"But you were all the way over there" I said and pointed to the map on the screen, earning me a complaint from Seth who could no longer see. I ignored him. "And I was over here. That's not possible! There's no way you could have killed me so easily!"

"It's fair" Seth said and pushed my head down and out of the way while simultaneously killing three people on my team.

"Then why can't I kill anyone? I have to get right up close and then they shoot me before I can even push the right button!" I complained. Just when my character came back to life, I spotted Seth's character running by. For once I thought I'd get the upper hand and sneak up on him. But no. His character turned around and continued running – backwards may I add – and shot me. My part of the screen blurred red.

"I hate you guys" I said and crossed my arms over my chest.

Jared and Seth only laughed. "We're just too awesome for you" Jared said.

"Yeah Emma. Don't feel bad just because you can't reach our level of awesomeness" Seth teased with a smirk.

"Awesomeness? I'm pretty sure you mean foolishness"

I yelped and made a mad dash for the kitchen and the safety of Emily as the boys went to grab me. "Take it back!" they called as I raced to Emily.

All of a sudden, the door flew open. Jared, Seth, and I stopped dead in our tracks. Jacob walked in in different clothes than earlier today. "Is Emma here?" he asked not seeing me.

Jared and Seth pointed in my direction. I didn't know how to feel when I saw those bog chocolate eyes. So I didn't move and I didn't say a thing. Let him choose how this all turns out.

"Emma, can I talk to you outside?" he asked hesitantly. So that's how it's going to be. Awkward and secretive. I can play that way as well.

"No she will not!" Emily called from the kitchen. She has ears like an owl. "She just got dried off and I will not have her getting sick on my watch."

"I won't let her get sick" Jacob called back.

Emily came stomping out of the kitchen with a spatula in hand. "That's what I thought too and look what happened" she snapped. Her voice dripped with venom. She was not happy. And I was kind of glad. If Emily could play the angry part, then I wouldn't have to. Jacob would take a beating from her.

"Alright then…"

Sure I could offer to talk in my room. But honestly, I would rather watch him struggle. I still wasn't happy with him, even if Seth and Jared had convinced me that I don't need an imprint.

Jacob rested his hand along the back of his neck awkwardly. "Maybe we could talk somewhere… else."

I still said nothing. I crossed my arms over my chest and hoped I he received the message that I wasn't happy.

I think he understood very well. "Look Emma…" he said, forgetting about wanting to talk somewhere private.

"How about you two talk upstairs" Jared suggested. He seemed uncomfortable. So I made my way up the stairs to keep them in the house.

I sat down on my bed and Jacob closed the door slightly behind him. Then he sat down across from me. "I'm really sorry Emma" he began.

"You know you're the biggest hypocrite I've ever met" I snapped.

He looked taken aback but recovered quickly. "How so?" His voice had a silent challenge in it.

"First you tell me you don't care about Bella anymore. And then you ditch me after I save her fucking life. Either you lied about loving me or her. And it's starting to look like you're confused about who you imprinted on."

"What did you want me to do?" he exploded. I recoiled, not liking this side of Jacob. He became dangerous in that second and I didn't want to think of him that way. But the way his voice cut through the air, I couldn't help but feel it cutting across my skin. "Did you want me to just drop her off at home? Bye Bella, better luck killing yourself next time! Hopefully my girlfriend won't be there next time to save you. She's suicidal Emma! Do you want me to have her blood on my hands?"

"Girlfriend" I sighed. "So I'm your girlfriend now. What happened to imprint?"

Jacob jumped up from his chair. His fists were clenched in fury but I didn't care. "This is not about you Emma!" he bellowed, shaking the walls. "Bella is my friend! I'm not going to watch her kill herself!"

"She's going to do it anyway!" I yelled back. I no longer feared Jacob. I wanted to push the blame back at him and let it crush him the way it was me. "Either she's going to take her own life or she's going to let him do it! How close do you think he's gotten to killing her already? Hell, you and I both know that she can't stay with him as long as she's a human. It's too much for him. He'll kill her and you know it! And she knows it! And you know what else? She wants him to!"

"Emma…!" Jacob growled.

"What Ja-cob? Afraid your other girlfriend's going to get eaten? I hope she does! Because quite honestly I'm sick of all her shit! She wants to be a leech, let her! Let her damn her soul! At least I'll never have to worry about seeing her Heaven!"

"You think you're going to Heaven? You're dead wrong!" Jacob shouted. "I know where you're going and it's straight down!"

"Only because I ever met you!" I barked back.

"You ruined my life just as well!" he growled. "Do you know how close I was to winning Bella before you showed up? One more day even and she would have been mine! But then you showed up and ruined everything! I was wrong about imprinting. I am stuck with you!"

"At least I didn't choose a leech over you!" I shouted with all the air in my lungs.

Jacob said nothing.

He only stared at me with those dark eyes and his fingers digging into his palms. And then it started. His whole body shook unnaturally. His eyes glazed over and rolled back into his head. I watched as his body lunged forward. All I heard was the sound of fabric tearing before the deep, earth shaking growl of a wolf.

And I was on the floor. Three razors were hooked in my stomach and pulling back without care. My skin erupted in fire as four pairs of feet clambered up the stairs. The razors were torn away from my body, taking some of my skin with them. Two sets of feet remained in the room with me as I clutched at my stomach in pain.

I couldn't open my eyes but I knew my hands were covered in my own blood. And I knew someone else's were as well. For someone so worried about having Bella's blood on his hands, he sure had no problem with spilling mine.