Chapter 14: The Past, Present and Future

Tobias/Four POV

I wake up to beeping noises and a smell that is slightly familiar. I slowly open my eyes and move my arm to sit up and an instant pain shoots through it. I look down and realize its in a cast. Blue, my real favorite color. I look over and see Tris sleeping in the cot that has been laid out next to my bed. I smile a little at how adorable she looks when she's sleeping. I lean over and gently brush a strand of hair that has fallen onto her face behind her ear, and she stirs. Her eyes slowly blink to life as she begins to wake up. She looks at me and a wave of relief floods her face. It was only then that I noticed her red puffy eyes. "Tobias!" She leaps over her cot and onto the foot of my bed flinging herself around me. I wince when she hits my (I assume) broken arm. "Oh My GOD! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." She is so flustered she is talking so fast I can barely understand her "It's just that I have been here with yu day and night for the past three days just waiting for you to wake up and I was so scared that you weren't going to…." I stop her. "Woah, Woah. It's okay. It's okay. I'm right here, I'm right here." I pull her into my arms and hold her tight when she starts crying. "Wait, did you say three days?" She pulls away and let's out a breathy laugh. "Yeah, you've been out for three days. The doctors said you were in a coma and they didn't know when you were going to wake up, if you did. You scared me so damn much, you know that! What the hell were you thinking! You could have died! Why were you even in Chicago?!" I just stared at her. "I….I" she looked into my eyes. "You what?" I could see wheels turning in her head and I knew she was bound to figure it out eventually then something behind her eyes clicked. "Oh, Tobias. You didn't." I just looked at her and let my head drop down. "It was stupid. I was just pissed off at him and I wasn't thinking. I just...I couldn't let another goddamned person get away with that shit. I just couldn't take it." She looked at me confused. "What do you mea… Tobias...were you?" She couldn't even finish her sentence before she burst into tears once again. She is always in tears around me. I know that I'm not god for her, and after what I put her through, after what I did going over to Eric's and beating the living shit out of him. I don't deserve her. I need to let her go and I know , I can't I need her. And if I wasn't so damn selfish then I would let her go. But I can't. But, maybe I can. "Tris...please don't cry. Look I'm sorry I didn't want you to ever find out, especially like this." She stops crying as soon as the last sentence leaves my mouth, like it was magic. "You didn't ever want me to find out? Tobias I told you EVERYTHING about me, my life, Eric and you didn't want me to find out about what? The fact that you were abused as a child? Oh yeah because that's so bad compared to my fucked up life. You are the only person I have EVER told about this. EVER! Christina doesn't even know. And do you know why? Because I love you! I love you so much it hurts! And when you love someone you tell them everything. You trust them enough to let them know the most dark and intimate parts of your life. You tell me you love me but you don't want to tell me about your life, or who you are, or who your family is. Do you even know what love is?" All I can think about is how she said she loved me so much it hurt. It hurt. I am constantly hurting her. I need to let her be. I can't keep doing things to hurt her. She wants to know all about my past but I'm not ready to talk about it yet, to anyone. I need to do what's best for her right now, not me. What's that saying "If you love something, set it free." I have to set her free. "I dont know." I answer her.

She looks at me with fury in her eyes "What do you mean you don't know.?"

"I mean I. DON'T. KNOW!" I snap.

"Well, if you don't know what love is, how can you love me." She says this time her eyes begging me to reassure her that I love her. And I do I love her more than anyone would have ever thought possible, but I'm bad for her. So I say the words that I know will shatter her heart and it kills me, but it's the only way I know she will leave me. "Maybe I don't." And with those three little words I see her heart shatter into a million pieces behind her eyes. She grabs her jacket and runs through the door into the hallway. As soon as I know she's gone I sob. I sob like I never have before until I'm asleep once again."

Tris POV

I rush through the door and into the hallway. I just run and run. I have no idea where I'm going, I just need to outrun the words I just heard him say. This has to be a dream. He loves me, I know he does. I've seen it in his eyes. It's all my fault I pushed him. He didn't mean it. I try to convince myself he didn't mean it, but the way he said it; his words sharp as ice. How could he not have ment it. When I cant run any more I slink down against the wall and tuck my head between my knees and cry dry tears. I have cried so much in the last three days that I have no tears left to shed for him. But I still can't help it. My heart feels like it's broke into a million pieces in my chest and my stomach is in my throat. The only thing iI can think about is the quote by William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet "Don't waste your love on somebody, who doesn't value it." With that I pull myself off the ground and make my way home.

A/N:

Hey guys! So I decided that because I made you guys wait forever for the last chapter like I said I wouldn't that I was going to post Chapter 14 this week also as well as 15 next week and continuing. Also I got some comments that people were confused and where my goal was to let your imagination kind of take over until this chapter was posted I can also understand where you guys are coming from. So, I hope this clears things up for you guys and let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions to where you think my story line should go. I have an idea in progress but I would love to see where you guys want this story to go. If you don't want to comment your ideas please feel free to PM me and I will respond to all of you! As always please follow/favorite this story if you haven't already and share it with your friends I would love to expand on my reader base!

XOXO,

Abbie