Title:
I Miss You - Part 1
Summary:
Title says it all. Sometimes life gets in the way and one must stop and smell the roses. But if one has a hard time stopping or slowing down, like myself, sometimes help is needed.
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Emma loved the feel of Regina's hand in hers. The soft skin under her thumb as she rubbed small circles over knuckles. Certainty and strength were in these hands she so adored. She thought about this as they walked along one of the paths by the pier, watching the setting sun getting ready to kiss the water on the horizon good night. Life had gotten in the way the last several days and had kept them both beyond busy with work and everything else but each other.
She was grateful it was Friday and after a dinner at Granny's neither of them had to cook or clean up Regina had suggested a walk by the pier. At first Emma had tried to beg off, wanting to go home and let her little out to play. She'd been an adult doing very adult things for far too long without a break and she could feel the angst building inside her—or her little side's upset pushing to come out. Her littlest side had gotten some attention with their routine of nursing in the morning and at night. While that was more than wonderful and satisfying her other little side needed attention too.
But there had not been time for more than a few minutes for her to slip out and play before life got in the way again. It had an annoying way of doing that far too much for her taste. Right now though, Emma wasn't thinking those things. She was focused on the way Regina was holding her hand and the feeling of their fingers laced together as one. Emma looked over at the woman she called her wife.
Regina' regal profile was a stunning silhouette against the pinks and purples of the sky and always like always took her breath away. Pausing for a moment she pulled Regina in by the tie on a black pea coat. Her wife laughed and went with her movement. Cupping two cheeks Emma leaned in and took that red mouth for her own. Gently pecking and then holding for a long sweet kiss. As she released that perfect mouth she rested their foreheads together as the setting sun played with the red highlights in Regina's hair.
"What was that for?" A teasing husk.
"Just because." And Emma couldn't help but capture those lips in another kiss again. "I missed you this week."
Regina nodded agreeing. "Both of our schedules were much too full baby girl and that is partly why I wanted to take a walk." She reached for Emma's hand again. "Come with me."
Emma felt her hand tugged once and moved easily with the motion. How did she get so lucky to have this woman to call her own she pondered as the planks underfoot turned to gravel and dried winter grass. The salted wind coming off the water picked up and nipped against her pink cheeks. She was suddenly grateful for the beanie and scarf Regina insisted she wear. Watching their feet move side by side as they walked she noticed the way gravel gave way to sand and suddenly she knew where they were going and a smile grew deepening the dimple in her cheek.
Suddenly her little poked her brain and wanted to come out to play. Emma gave into her need for the moment and began to skip alongside a pair of heeled boots as she swung their hands back and forth in her growing excitement. The woman holding her hand laughed sweetly and Emma grinned as they came to a stop. Emma pointed ahead with an ever growing want and bounced on her feet.
"It's back!? Does Henry know yet?"
"It is and he does." Regina smiled brightly and kissed her girl's cheek. "There was enough money in the town's budget to have it rebuilt and I wanted it to be a surprise."
Emma danced on her feet, throwing herself at the Queen. "Thank you! Can I? Can I?"
"Yes, baby. That's why we are here. Go play. Mommy will be right here watching you." Regina affirmed with a nod toward the wooden castle fort. It had once been Henry's special place and then Emma's too. A few years after the curse broke she'd had it rebuilt, but a storm last year had damaged it beyond repair. Both Emma and Henry had been heartbroken and since she had been on a mission to have it restored to its former glory.
Emma took off in a full run toward the steps of the castle, taking them two at a time toward the top where the twisty slide was. She took a moment on the top platform to turn and wave to her Mommy who was sitting on a nearby bench. Regina waved back and Emma plopped her butt on the top of the slide and pushed off. The wind whipped at her cheeks as she laughed on her spin ride down to the bottom. Then again and again she went on the slide as the adult world fell away to play and fun. The sense of freedom of responsibility was nearly overwhelming and in it Emma laughed with happiness.
Regina watched Emma play with a glad heart. The surprise kept one just barely from her girl the last month since construction started had been well worth it. Now in the quiet evening when most of Storybrooke's residents were sitting down to dinner they had this special place all to themselves. Rare as it was that her little girl came out so readily in public, she was glad Emma was getting a chance to run off some steam here.
Work, for both of them the last few weeks since Emma had gotten better entirely had been stressful. Their time this way cut short for one town emergency or another. Things had calmed down considerably yesterday and Regina thought it was high time her little girl have some much needed attention and fun away from adult responsibilities. The construction tape had just come down this afternoon and was not due to until tomorrow. So she was certain no one would bother them here this late in the evening.
Or so she thought.
Then a few minutes later she suddenly felt they were no longer alone. She was about to call to Emma when a cheery voice rang out in greeting.
"Hi Regina!"
Turning she forced a smile over her shoulder seeing Snow with Neal. "Hi there you two." Then calling. "Emma." But her girl was too far gone across the way running up the wooden steps again, a red leather jacket covered back to her eyes.
Snow stopped short by the bench and sat right down next to Regina as Neal tugged free of her hand to run off towards his sister. "Emma sure seems happy that this is back up." Nodding toward the castle in wonder. "It came out good. David mentioned he thought it had been finished early today when he was on patrol." Then under the question from her daughter in law she realized she might be intruding on something, so she explained further. "He's working late so I decided to take Neal and see it for ourselves."
"It did come out well and well worth the expense to see Emma this happy." Perhaps Snow didn't notice anything different about Emma after all and suddenly Regina found she didn't care if the woman did. Snow knew enough about their relationship through mild exposure that last several months that it did not matter to her as much as it once had. And while Emma preferred to keep this side of their relationship private between them, sometimes the little inside the adult didn't allow for discretion. She decided to let Emma decide what was too much or not, knowing her little one would hide away in that blonde head quick enough if Emma's adult side decided to take over.
Neal seemed un-phased as Emma did by the chance meeting, Regina noted as the siblings began to make a game of who could get to the top of the castle faster to slide down only to race again. She heard Snow's quiet laugh as hers slipped right in watching the two play.
"She's so good with him." Snow commented. "Always ready to tear it up whenever he wants to play."
Chuckling, Regina sat back against the bench relaxing and crossed her legs. "I can only imagine the two of them in the Enchanted Forest playing knights of the castle."
A knowing smirk at the Queen's easy tease. They had gotten well past that point of hurt in their past. "David and I dodged a bullet there thanks to your curse."
"A favor you still owe me for dear." Enjoying the banter.
Scoffing with a twinkle in eyes Snow countered. "I let you marry my daughter."
A dark brow rose in mock challenge. "Let?"
Snow rolled her eyes fondly. "You can't have every win every time Regina. I would have thought Emma would have taught you that by now."
Considering with a smile. "Touché." And then Emma was running over toward her and slowed upon approach. Regina could tell the little one was still present and held out her arms for Emma to fall into.
Emma bit her bottom lip as she was gently coaxed out from hiding in dark hair by a hand rubbing up and down her arm. She waved a little hello to her Mom. Tucked up into stand at her Mommy's side she was suddenly shy in her current state. She felt the adult mind inside her begin trying to tug her back away and she fought against it, winning for the moment. She wanted to be present. It was her turn after so long being shut away. Mommy must have sensed her upset because she was drawn closer and tried to calm herself under the idea that her need was understood.
Sensing something different about her daughter, Snow tilted her head to the side in wonder of what it was. The way Emma was standing so close to Regina with a lip tucked between teeth was much like Neal used to do when he was four or five when he was being introduced to someone new. Then it dawned on her what was different. Like that day she had brought the casserole over to the mansion after Emma's hospital scare.
Or before at their family dinner when Emma had slipped with a term of endearment she had thought might be for her. She wasn't entirely sure how she felt about it, but the way Emma was looking at her now and even Regina's eyes said now was not the time to make that thought known. Instead Snow leaned forward to rest her forearms on her knees with a reassuring smile. "Hi Emma. How do you like the castle?"
Emma turned side to side in thought. "I like it a lot." Her response was muffled from behind her gloved hand, which Mommy reached to gently pull away from her mouth. "Neal likes it too." She tried again, leaning ever more into the Queen's side as a hand stroked circles on her back in a soothing manner. Deciding she was done playing for the moment, Emma sank right down on the bench to sit, suddenly tired from her play. She still wanted to play, but wanted more to be close to her Mommy in time that was supposed to be just for them. And before she thought it through her thoughts became words slipping through her mouth. "Don't you have to go now?"
"Emma." Keeping the chide away from her tone was hard fought for Regina, but she was not about to allow rude behavior either. And in response Emma tried to hide against her shoulder again. She allowed the action for what the moment was before answering Snow's questioning look. "I'm sorry. She's had a long week and I think she's just overly tired." As if that were enough of an explanation and it seemed to be for Snow who changed the subject to one of school.
Emma slowly came back out from hiding as the adults talked adult things she was more than glad not to follow or be a part of. Mommy was warm against her back and in the chilly evening air bundled up as she was Emma was growing sleepy sitting there.
As they all watched Neal run around some more, Regina felt her body responding to Emma being so close and in such a little frame of mind. Dampness on the inside of her bra made her blush briefly until she remembered that protective pads she was wearing. A glance at her watch and the approaching 7:30 hour, it was growing close to the time she usually began getting her little one ready for bed. Then they cuddled together while Emma nursed before going to sleep. The routine had solidified itself over the last few weeks and it was one she always looked forward to as their piece of heaven at the end of the day.
Much had changed in their dynamic since it began. With each new discovery of a layer to her girl she always felt she was seeing Emma with fresh eyes. That newness never wore off and she adored the unwrapping each and every time, like now with Emma's little meeting Snow. A yawn ripped through pink lips and Emma rested against her shoulder. Regina automatically patted Emma's hip. At her signal Emma slowly stood up and a glove went to rub green eyes.
"Someone is tired." Snow said with a small smile and stood as well. She couldn't get over the transformation in her daughter. Emma was always so in control and outgoing in any situation. Seeing her this way with new eyes was endearing and she couldn't help the little bubble of jealousy forming at the way Emma held onto Regina's hand so tightly in this frame of mind.
"It has been a long week." Regina affirmed once more as Neal ran up and wrapped his arms around Snow. She got a wave from him and smiled back. "It's time to go home Emma. Go ahead and say goodbye."
And Emma surprised all of them by stepping forward and hugging Snow for a moment before pulling Neal over and giving the boy a noogie, which he tried to dodge with no luck. She giggled with him and stepped right back to tuck up against her Mommy's side. Another wave and her hand was taken up again. As they walked back up the pier where the car was parked Emma was quite proud of herself for overcoming her shyness and said as much.
"Mommy I was a big girl huh?"
"Yes baby. That was a big step for you." Regina agreed and gave Emma's hand an affectionate squeeze.
"Does that mean I can have some of the cookies we made at home?"
Regina thought about it for a moment. "It's nearly time to get ready for bed and you need to nurse still." At the car she opened the passenger door for Emma and waited until her girl was seated before doing up the seatbelt.
Fingers twirled blonde hair as Emma considered that, but she still wanted a cookie or two. The heat kicking on began warming the chilly space as Mommy began to drive them home. "I want one though, so can I have one?"
"You had two of Granny's chocolate ones after dinner my love." Turning onto Main Street Regina shook her head. "I think that is enough sugar until tomorrow."
"But I don't think so and I was good Mommy." Emma was not beyond whining to get what she wanted as their home street came into view. She had been cooped up the last few weeks away while her adult side and littlest side got all of Mommy's attention. That's what she was really upset about she realized. Last time she'd been this way she had been sick and that was no fun at all. And at the park while she was glad to play with Neal and even see her Mom, she had to share her time.
Her special time with Mommy.
Emma felt her tummy tighten with the range of feelings running through her. She needed Mommy to make it better. Make it so these feelings slowed down and so she pushed. Emma kicked her toes against the dash as the Benz pulled into park.
"None of that attitude is necessary baby." Chiding gently Regina got out of the car and rounded it to open Emma' door. Little one huffed and darted right past her for the front door the moment the seat belt came loose. With Emma in such a mood, she sighed and followed.
"I want a cookie Mommy." Emma leaned heavy against the door frame, lower lip out threatening a bigger pout as Regina opened the door. She walked heavily into the foyer as her whine went unanswered.
"Not tonight." Setting down her purse and keys Regina regarded Emma carefully when a boot stomped. It wasn't often her girl got in such a state. Emma was rarely bratty with her and the presence of such strong emotions was telling her something else was wrong. Something bigger than her saying no to a cookie. Sometimes too Emma pushed in order to be held accountable to their rules and Regina wondered if this was such a moment. So she answered how she thought her little girl may need her to. "Little ones who stomp their feet and don't listen to their Mommy's end up with a consequence. Besides it is time to start settling down for bed." She advised and approached to begin taking off Emma's winter wear.
Her boot stalled in another retort and Emma sucked her bottom lip as her eyes warmed with tears pushing forward, but she held on to them tight. She didn't want one of those, but she wanted attention and her tummy to stop cramping and not to go to bed yet more. "Noooo." Said as her beanie was tugged off and put away with the rest of her things. "Mommy nnoooo." And yet her hand was taken and she was being pulled along upstairs to her yellow room. She purposefully dragged her feet.
Regina slowed her walk to accommodate where her girl was at, but kept moving them forward. Once in the room she grabbed a pair of pajamas and went to sit on the bed. Emma hovered by the door pouting. "Come here baby." Coaxing, but Emma was having none of it.
"I don't wanna go to bed. I want my cookie and—and—" Huffing again as she was beckoned forward. She moved slowly and once within reach she was pulled to stand between a pair of knees as her sweater was removed and replaced with soft cotton top with little stars all over it. Mommy's warm hands at her waist helped her to be still when she wanted to stomp her foot again. And when she stepped out of her jeans she did stomp as they were folded and set aside. Her chin was caught and Mommy had the serious look on.
"That's quite enough." Regina went back and forth between green eyes for emphasis. "I understand you are upset and I think it is over more than you are saying, but stomping your foot will not get you the attention you want from me."
Arms crossed. "I don't care!" But she did care; though the way she was choosing to show so was not working in her favor and her foot went up again.
"Emma."
And down to stomp a last time and it was the last time Emma realized as she was turned to the side and Mommy's left arm came to wrap across her tummy holding her still. Her bottom was swatted twice in warning and her eyes smarted as she was turned right around again to look into amber eyes as hers began filling, but in her stubbornness she fought to keep tears from falling.
Regina could tell by the wavering look in Emma's eyes her little one needed her to hold firm. "You are skirting a spanking right now with your actions baby girl. Is that what you need from Mommy?"
"But—" Wiggling and trying to protest when a finger rested against her lips and in that moment Emma finally began to calm under redirection.
Soft. "That is not what I asked you." Her hands went back to Emma's waist to hold. Patient. "Try again little one."
Emma deflated entirely under that tone and leaned forward to wrap her arms around a neck as she was pulled down to sit on a lap. "No Mommy." Sniffling she let her tears slip down her cheeks and held tighter as she was held. After a minute she was drawn back by the shoulders and her tears were wiped with a summoned tissue.
"What has you so worked up, hmmm?"
"It's not fair." Emma started as she began sniffling. "I miss you. They get you all the time and tonight I wanted it to be just us at the playground and then…" Trailing off as she moved her nose away from the tissue without success and she blew when prompted.
"Oh my sweet love, I see." And Regina did. It had been a long while since it had been just the two of them and as late as little one had come out to play tonight it was not near enough time it seemed for this version of Emma. "Tomorrow is Saturday and that means we may have the whole day to play and be together. Would you like that?" A full day devoted from morning until sleep for Emma to be little completely. Usually it was small pockets of time they could enjoy this space and a full little's day, as Emma liked to call it, was a treat for both of them.
Emma melted completely against Regina as she buried her face into a chest. Mommy always knew what she needed. "Uh-huh." A fist went to her eye to rub, not realizing just how tired she was. And suddenly bedtime snuggles being held as she was sounded wonderful. Her other hand began pawing at the buttons on a silk blouse.
Leaning down to kiss a crown of golden curls Regina laughed softly at the pure amount of precious in her arms. "Let's finish getting you comfy and we can go get cozy in bed together."
"Mmmm?" Emma asked for what she wanted in the manner her littlest side often did, but right now she was not that small, but she wanted that same closeness for herself.
"Yes baby."
Regina helped Emma stand up and finished dressing her girl for bed. Uni was found and tucked under an arm as she led the way to the master bedroom. Emma followed her to the bathroom and watched as she washed her face and prepped for bed. Regina was more than ready to cuddle with her little one in bed. Brushing Emma's tangle of blonde curls came next and gently she worked her way up to the roots as Emma began purring under the stroke of bristles, swaying on feet.
Regina kissed the top of Emma's head. "All done baby. Time to brush your teeth."
She helped Emma put toothpaste on a brush and brushed her own in sync while they stood at the sink. Lastly she wet a cloth with warm water and wiped the last of the tear streaks from that pink face. Regina changed into silk sleep pants and slipped on a loose matching top without bothering to button it up. Hand in hand they went back to the bed and Regina settled back against a mound of pillows with Emma nested in her arms.
Looking down into green eyes, Regina loved the way those lashes began fluttering against cheeks. She began helping a wandering mouth to her full breast. The moment Emma latched on to suckle Regina felt her entire body relax in a kind of euphoria that came over her as the world began fading away to just the two of them. Pulling Emma closer she gently patted a bottom in a slow rhythm just the way Emma liked as her little one nursed contently in her arms.
And suddenly nothing else but this closeness mattered. The feel of Emma in her arms and the tugging of lips for milk at her breast made her heart swell. How had they gotten to such a place of trust and absolute tenderness between them, she was still in complete awe of. The trust looking up from hooded eyes was more than enough to fill Regina's heart with enough happiness for a lifetime.
Emma fussed when she felt herself being moved until her mouth was full once again and the milk stream returned stronger on her lapping tongue. Mommy was humming their song and rubbing her back and bottom in such a way that sleep always stole her away from this world under such an action. Emma fought to stay awake wanting this moment with her Mommy to never end. As her eyes closed and her mouth began to loosen from a nipple she hung on to the husk of a hum singing her to sleep. She just felt Mommy's soft kiss between her brows as dreams of the never ending moment she craved came to wrap her up safe and sound for the night.
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A/N – After a long week, my little needed some time to come out and for right now this space is where she can. Thanks for sharing this space and for reading! As always I love hearing from you. :-)
