A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad that you're still enjoying this story. :)
Disclaimer: Same as always.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered.
"No, Jackson, don't apologize," April replied quickly. "This is my fault."
"No, it isn't," he assured her. He picked his sweater up off of the kitchen floor and pulled it back on. April hopped off of the counter and began to redo her blouse.
Things were very quiet and tense. Neither one of them were sure what to say. They had been so swept up in the moment, so lost in each other, and it had evaporated instantly after hearing that message.
"He's my best friend," Jackson began regretfully.
She nodded in understanding and laughed humorlessly. "I know. I get it."
Apparently the only men that she was capable of falling for were her person's fiancé and her admirer's best friend.
Jackson closed his eyes and sighed. He had finally found a woman that he really liked…that he loved…and he couldn't have her. He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers. "I can't, I want to, but I—"
She stopped him by placing her fingers over his lips. "It's okay; we don't have to talk this out…really." She couldn't bear to hear anymore.
She walked away from him and he stared after her longingly. He wanted to talk it out. He clenched his fists as he exhaled heavily, this just wasn't fair.
April sat down on her sofa and crossed her legs as she ran a hand through her hair. He really was too good to be with her and that's what it came down to. Maybe this was a sign. "You can leave if you want, you don't have to stick around," she told him softly.
He frowned as he walked into the living room with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "I don't want to leave."
"Well then what do you want?" She asked and the frustration was evident in her voice.
"I want you," he smiled. "You know that." He moved to sit next to her on the couch and reached out to place his hand on her knee. "It's just that Charles—"
"I know," she interrupted him. "But you didn't mention Charles when you were kissing me in my bed last month."
Jackson winced a little. "That's true," he murmured.
He had assured Charles that he wasn't into April, but ever since he had said that all he had done was pursue her, and he hadn't given Charles a second thought while doing so. His roommate had been so busy lately studying for the Boards and trying to perfect all of his techniques in neuro that he hadn't even noticed Jackson's frequent absences and strange moods, and even if he had noticed, he probably assumed that he was still messing around with Cristina Yang. Charles was in a little over his head but he was working his butt off and as a result, he was walking around like a zombie the majority of the time. There was no way that he had picked up on Jackson's feelings for April.
"You actually make it hard for me to think about anything else," he admitted with a small grin.
April's anger lifted and she placed her hand on top of his. "I told him that all we'll ever be is friends. I-I want to be with you." She scooted closer to him and leaned forward to place a kiss on the pulse point in his neck. "I'm in love with you."
And you can't help who you fall in love with.
She kissed his lips and smiled when he responded. He was in love with her too and he desperately wanted to be with her. It would be complicated, but as his mother said, love was always complicated, and their connection, the magnetic pull between them, was too strong to fight off. They had already been fighting it for far too long.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap. "I'll tell him," he spoke against her lips. "It should come from me."
"Are you sure?" She asked as she stroked his cheek.
He nodded. "Yeah." Charles would take the news even worse if it didn't come from him, he would feel even more betrayed. "I'll tell him," he repeated.
April pulled away from him and rested her head on his shoulder. She pressed her face against his neck and whispered, "I don't want to let you go but are you sure that you want to do this?"
He wrapped his arms tightly around her body and smiled to himself. "I don't think I've ever been surer of anything in my life."
April smiled gleefully before she kissed him again. "Let's eat, and I'll get you some more ice for your hand. I want you to be able to operate tomorrow."
"Okay," Jackson smiled.
He was confident that everything would be fine. They could do this.
First thing the next morning, Jackson was summoned to the Chief's office. He was expecting to be heavily reprimanded, he had known that punching a co-worker would have consequences, but instead he sat in a chair and Dr. Torres just stared at him. He was starting to feel a little uneasy, like she was trying to break him CIA style or something.
"How's your hand?" She asked after a long silence.
"Fine," he answered.
"Everyone says that you started it."
He replied honestly, "I did." He had always been taught to own up to his mistakes and it's not like he planned on getting in another fight anytime soon.
There was another long silence before the cardio surgeon leaned back in her seat and sighed, "Women suck."
Jackson furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Excuse me, Chief?"
"You and Karev were fighting because of a girl, right?" That was Mark Sloan's theory at least.
"Yeah," Jackson admitted. "He said something awful about the woman I love."
Callie nodded in understanding. "See, women make us do things we would never normally do."
Jackson was still incredibly confused about what she was talking about so he remained silent.
"You can leave now, Avery. I won't tell any of the hospitals that are interested in you about this. You're a good surgeon; you don't need this on your record."
His eyes widened slightly. He had anticipated a suspension. "Thank you Dr. Torres," he said gratefully as he stood up.
"Don't mention it," she replied tiredly as she rested her head in the palm of her hand.
Jackson left her office in a state of utter disbelief but he was quickly forced to compose himself when he spotted his mother waiting for him.
"How much trouble are you in?" She asked bluntly.
"None," he replied with a chuckle. She eyed him suspiciously until he spoke again. "I'm serious, none."
"Well you are incredibly lucky," she stated disapprovingly.
He hung his head bashfully as if he was a young child again. His mother knew how to conduct a guilt trip like nobody else.
Catherine placed her hand on his shoulder and offered him a small smile before she switched to a brighter topic. "Your father and I would like to take you and April out to lunch. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, that sounds good," he smiled. "I'll mention it to April."
His mother had obviously seen something in him that indicated that his relationship with April had changed for the better. It was eerie, sometimes he wondered if she had supernatural powers.
April, meanwhile, was trying to muster up the courage to knock on the door of Alex's office. She took a deep breath before she tapped her knuckles against the door.
"Come in!"
She opened the door and spotted Alex at his desk. He was filling out paperwork, he wasn't wearing his glasses, and his face was bruised. He finally glanced upwards, and he did not look happy to see her.
"Let's talk like adults," she suggested before he could say anything.
He dropped his pen and leaned back in his chair. "I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have said that but I was pissed and I know that you probably weren't cheating on me with Avery but you wanted to. Lover boy got me good so it's okay," he added bitterly as he gestured towards his face.
April walked towards his desk and didn't deny his observations. "We haven't been very happy," she whispered as she sat down.
"Nope," he agreed dejectedly. They had been trying to push themselves to some level of happiness but it hadn't been working, no matter how hard they tried. He knew that sex was a big issue for him and he had the feeling that Avery was the main issue for her.
There was a silence in which they just stared at each other until April spoke again. "I don't want to be anybody's second best and you shouldn't want to be mine."
Alex looked at her in confusion as he leaned forward in his chair. "What are you talking about?"
"I've gone my whole life thinking that nobody would want me, that nobody would take an interest in me," she breathed. "And you made me feel really wanted for the first time in my life, but you also made me feel horrible for a lot of different reasons. But Jackson," she paused and couldn't contain a smile. "He just makes me feel better."
Alex nodded in understanding. "That's how Meredith made me feel," he revealed candidly. "But you made me feel like I could still be somebody so thank you for that, and I'm sorry that I called you a slut. You're not, obviously." He laughed humorlessly before he spoke again. "I just need someone who can deal with all my crap. Someone who has as much crap as me."
April smiled sadly at him. She hoped that he would find someone. He was great when he wanted to be, and she understood what he meant when he said that he needed someone who could deal with all of his "crap". Jackson knew exactly how to deal with her.
"So what happened to make you so upset before you came over?" She asked curiously.
Alex groaned and ran a hand over his face. "I got an email from Chief Torres," he began. "And she said that hospitals are starting to inquire about all of the fifth years and interviews will be starting in a few weeks, and I'm the only fifth year that isn't being asked about."
"What?" April questioned in shock.
He nodded. "Yeah, she let me know as sort of like a heads up, I'm the Chief Resident, I'm supposed to have my pick of fellowships but even freakin' Percy is a more desirable fellow than me apparently." He took a deep breath before he told her his theory. "I think that Ellis Grey is blackballing me." She had let him back on her service, and he had been ecstatic about it, but now he thought that it was just a way to lull him into a false sense of security.
She stared at him in horror but his idea wasn't crazy. She wouldn't put it past Ellis Grey to do such a thing, and she carried around a lot of weight in the general field. "Well, um," she spoke uneasily, "Dr. Bailey is back, maybe she can help you?"
"Yeah, maybe," he mumbled. "This just sucks."
"Or!" She exclaimed excitedly. "You could ask Dr. Robbins to make some calls. She always seemed to like you when you did your peds rotations!"
Alex smiled a little. That was a really good idea and this conversation showed that he and April could be friends in the future…he still wouldn't mind having sex with her though.
Jackson tiredly changed out of his scrubs at the end of the day. Today had been a great day, he hadn't been banned from the OR and he had had an excellent lunch with April and his parents. They loved her. His father had raved about her surgical skills and his mother had made constant references to how polite and pretty she was. His mother had already sent her a friend request on Facebook and promised to email her baby pictures of him. His parents were already just as in love with her as he was.
Today had been a great day but there was an uncomfortable knot in his stomach. He was dreading his conversation with Charles but he knew that he needed to have it.
He gulped when Charles walked into the locker room. "Hey man, what's up?"
"Nothing much, I'm exhausted." He walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of Gatorade.
"Do you wanna buy some beer on the way home and watch March Madness all night?" Jackson knew that it was low, but he wanted to butter up his friend before he broke the news.
Charles groaned. "I would love to but I can't. I'm working the night shift, I switched with Webber."
Jackson frowned. "Oh, that sucks."
"Yup," he agreed as he grabbed a few energy bars from his locker. "I'll see you later, man!"
"Yeah, later," Jackson murmured.
He grabbed his jacket and backpack before he left the locker room. He knew that April had already left the hospital so he headed straight to her apartment.
She opened the door breathlessly and anxiously asked, "Did you tell him?"
Jackson slowly shook his head as his eyes roved over her body. She was wearing her workout gear, her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and her chest was heaving. "Um, no, I didn't get a chance."
He continued to stare at her as he stood on the doorstep. "You can come inside," she giggled as she opened the door wider for him.
He shifted his feet awkwardly as he closed the door behind him. He really shouldn't stay. He didn't need to see her all sweaty and flexible in her sports bra and little shorts. They had decided to keep the physical aspect of their relationship rather tame until they told Charles that they were together. It made them both feel a lot less guilty. So what he really needed to do was turn around and leave, but he followed her into the living room anyway.
She rolled up her yoga mat as she stretched her neck. "I was just doing some yoga. It really relaxes me and I was trying to work out this knot that I have in my back. But I still have it," she told him in frustration.
"Let me try," he offered without thinking.
"Would you?" She questioned shyly.
He wanted to kick himself for offering to give her a massage. As if he wasn't already having difficulty restraining himself. "Yeah," he nodded, "sure." He sat down on her couch and she excitedly raced towards him. He couldn't help but laugh at her as he pushed her hair to the side and placed his hands on her shoulders. He could hear the warning bells going off in his head. This was a bad idea. Such a bad idea.
But damn he loved her skin.
He found the knot in her back that she had to be referring to and pushed two fingers into the muscle. "Is that it?"
"Uh huh," she moaned.
Bad bad idea.
"You have really great hands," she giggled. "What I mean by that is that I would expect a trauma surgeon's hands to be…" She trailed off and dissolved into laughter. "I have no idea what I'm trying to say."
He laughed along with her. "That's okay." He leaned forward as he moved his fingers up her neck. "Is that better?" He asked in a whisper.
She shivered as she felt his breath on the back of her neck. "Yeah," she breathed. She was enjoying this way more than she should be, and she was imagining the feel of his hands on other parts of her body.
She quickly spun around and practically attacked him. She roughly captured his mouth and pushed him down onto his back. He seemed surprised by her actions but he was clearly enjoying them. He kissed her back eagerly while his hands grabbed her waist.
They didn't even hear Lexie come in until she spoke. "It's about time," she commented as she watched them maul each other on the sofa.
Jackson and April pulled away from each other and looked up at her sheepishly.
"You're making out on my bed by the way," Lexie added.
"Sorry," April squeaked.
Jackson, however, smirked up at her. He wasn't sorry at all.
Lexie removed her jacket and placed her bag on the floor before she headed into the kitchen. "I am so moving into the empty bedroom upstairs," she spoke to herself. "It's definitely time to get some furniture."
April looked down at Jackson with flushed cheeks. "We really need to tell him."
Jackson pushed his forehead against hers and sighed. "I know."
A/N: Please leave a review! :)