If anyone who follows me on tumblr and here is wondering why I haven't been posting updates there, it's because my internet is out and I'm using the wi-fi in the public library, which does not allow me to get on tumblr. Hopefully, I'll be able to have the internet agian before the tumblr only folks get too far behind in everything. :)

Matters of the Heart

Whitney wrung her hands, then slide them to her knees to try to still her legs from bouncing up and down, after she finally let herself sit in the waiting room. She shut her eyes and placed her head back against the wall. She and her dad had been making so much progress that she simply was not ready to say goodbye… but maybe that was it. MAYBE the reason that he had been seeing her mother was so that his children could come back into his life and he could have a chance to do things over with them, or at least polish up some of the mess that had been made.

As far as Whit knew, there was never a moment of friction between Marvel and either of their parents. Marvel was a champion child and he grew to be loved all over America and the world… it was no different in the house – in fact, every sibling always went to him with their concerns, except for Wagner who simply always felt closer to Majesty (and that was probably because Marvel was so much older than he was.)

DC had fixed the stuff that had happened between his parents and he, even if it was out of guilt over his father's current mental predicament; the problems had been solved. Then, there was Whitney. She and Sam began talking in sharing in a way that they hadn't in years.

It had reminded her of when she was a little girl and she snuck into the living room late at night to see him slaving on his lucky chair, piles of papers and thumb drives and his computers all over the area. He would glance up and say, "Couldn't sleep, Lil' Diva?" And he would give her a crooked smile and whatever was in his hands or his lap would be pushed aside and his arms would open and she would rush into them to be held and talked to or sang to, or to simply have a back and forth conversation with him, until she gave in to sleep.

She'd wake up the next day, in her bed. Sometimes, she and Majesty would have a bouquet of balloons waiting. Sometimes, they would have flowers. Sometimes they would have cupcakes… but she always knew that even though the gifts were addressed to both of them; it was the fact that she'd had trouble sleeping that made him think to do something nice for them the next morning.

Whitney had an elaborately ridiculous Sweet 16. Majesty, 14 at the time propped herself onto her father's shoulders and begged, "Daddy, please promise me that you won't let them do this when I turn sixteen."

"You don't want a big, flashy Sweet 16 party?" He asked.

"Yeah, but it can't be this way. In fact, you are in charge of it. I want it to look like the cross between a James Cameron film…"

"I already approve…" Sam said, as she continued.

"And George Lucas, with some Joss Whedon elements and of course the magical mind and hands of one Sam Evans," the girl finished. Sam smiled at her, having no idea where she was going with it, but hoping that it would be doable, because even though Majesty did not look the traditional part, she was totally a princess. "I'm gonna be AU Dorothy, wearing a blue and white costume reminiscent of Portman's Padme fighter outfit in The Clone Wars…"

"Which shall be designed, very soon…" Sam said, nodding.

"And we'll have ourselves an eerie scarecrow character, I'm imagining Rumplestilskin, from Once Upon a Time…"

"I love it," Sam interjected.

"Our Tin Man is some type of cyborg, of course; I trust you to make his design come to life."

"And I shall."

"Then my Cowardly Lion is going to be the most badass big alien creature type lion with man to the frickin' floor and I shall call him Chewie," she said with a smile and a shrug.

"My heart just exploded in my chest at the storyboards that have just flashed in my mind."

"We're doing a graphic novel?" She asked excitedly.

"I don't know if I can gain the rights to publish one, but it's definitely a done deal that we'll have a personal one."

"Score! And the party?" She asked.

"If it's anything other than what you just described, I will literally burn the house down," he promised. Then, he began to continue, "I have all these images of our version of the lions, tigers and bears… oh, and let's not forget that we get to have a slew of munchkins. I vote that they remind us of little R2D2s…"

"Are you distracting my free labor?" Sam heard Mercedes ask.

He scoffed and said, "No, she distracted me from everything else that I ever cared about in life. I've just been signed on to direct the Sweet 16 celebration of our youngest daughter and it is going to be epic; just so you know." He waved Mercedes away and patted the seat next to him for Majesty and the two began to make notes. Mercedes smiled and shook her head, as she left them to go into their nerd mode together. Heaven only knows what kind of spectacle a Sweet 16 party planned by the two of them would be.

Mercedes went to check on Whitney. Her daughter was being dressed and made up by Kurt and Unique, just like her mother had been for her wedding as Whitney requested. The dress that Whitney selected was golden, and very Disney-Princess, with hints of different shades of green. She reminded Mercedes of Tiana and knew that Whitney might have liked the dress because of that – having always enjoyed the first black Disney princess… after all, she was the darkest of the Evans children and for some reason unknown to her, the least favorite of several fans of the family.

There were several reporters there to try to get footage and coverage of the party for their respective careers, but Mercedes and Sam had monopoly on their family footage and generally sold only the parts that Sam found to be exclusive material and not too personal. Sometimes, they simply talked to Brittany and let her have some footage. Tonight, Whitney had requested that her father make it a documentary, for her personal library… that was pretty common of Sam to make spectacular films, books, magazines, comics, albums, etc – simply for his family's personal possessions. "Is Daddy in his suit, because Uncle Kurt and Auntie Nique are almost done with me," Whitney said, when her mother entered.

"Yes, he is dressed and off on some kind of tangent with your sister," Mercedes said with a laugh.

"What kind of tangent? Because, I don't want him to get distracted and Majesty has a way of distracting him. Today is really important to me and I don't want it watered down…" Whitney began.

"And the diva switch has been flipped," Unique said and tossed her long, luxurious weave aside, which hit Kurt in the face.

"Tone it down, Diana," he said and slapped it back over her shoulder.

"Please don't start!" Whitney said with some authority. She looked sadly at her mother and asked, "Can you at least make sure that he doesn't mess his suit up. Daddy's wonderful about taking care of his lips, but you have to watch him with clothes, especially if Majesty's over there with him. If you tell me that they're in the lucky chair drawing or writing, I am going to cancel this entire thing, because he'll never get his focus back."

Mercedes smiled and shook her head, "Honey, you obviously have not been paying attention to him for the past 16 years. I own that focus, okay? Now, you just relax, and let Mama do her thing." Mercedes went to find Sam and Majesty on the chair, brainstorming and she cleared her throat, "Majesty, I need you to go put on your dress, Honey. Your sister will be entering soon." Majesty frowned, but moved quickly to obey.

Sam stared at his wife, with a puzzled look, chewing on some gum, "Why do I feel like I'm in trouble?"

"Because you're doing it again," she said.

"I was encouraging creativity."

"And you'll have tomorrow and all kinds of other days to do that with her. Not on Whit's day, alright? She knows that you and Majesty have more interests in common and it might make her a little self conscious. So, just treat this day as her big day and you can always start on this project with Majesty, for an event that's still two years away, on tomorrow." Mercedes said, smiled and presented her puckered lips for him to kiss.

"Whatever you say, Honeybunch," he said and got up from the chair, collecting his camera. "Let me see how excited I can make her by showing up and getting footage of her, myself."

"It'll light up her world," Mercedes assured him and followed him into the room, where Whitney squealed in excitement at the sight of him and his heart filled up and broke at seeing his little girl look so grown up. He was glad that he and his dad went hunting frequently when he was a child… All he had to do was brush up on his shooting and be sure to get himself a very good shotgun.

Shortly after her 16th birthday, there was "the talk." Sam and Mercedes had long since decided that since Mercedes once thought that you could catch AIDS from cucumbers during a misunderstanding that when their children were ready, Sam would handle the sex stuff and if they needed it, she would handle the racial stuff. They were a team, but it was determined that Sam was more comfortable with and knew more about sexual information and Mercedes had more experience with and knew more about racial concerns. Mercedes had many opportunities to talk with her daughter on her racial concerns over the years – they didn't dwell on it at home, but she could hear and read the things said about her mother and her family, online and in magazines and newspapers… sometimes the article would be about someone else's comments, but Whitney would see it and have questions, from time to time.

Now, she had questions about boys and the feelings that she had about one of them. Damn it! Sam thought, I knew we should have kept them in same sex schools through graduation… Mercedes wanted her children to have "normal" junior and senior years, so even though they went to private same sex schools their entire lives, they were able to cross over for junior year. Marvel and DC crossed over well, as they both were quite sociable kids all their lives, but Whitney had not been in the spotlight as much as either of them and even when she was, she generally had one of her parents holding her hand. She'd made her musical debut when she was six – singing the intro and bridge in one of her mother's songs… then she had only sang in church and in her school choir.

Besides that, she was somewhat introverted and even when there were cameras and microphones everywhere, most of them were pointed elsewhere and it was easy for her not to develop socially, even with the family that she had. More accurately, it was easy for her not to develop socially ESPECIALLY with the family that she had. Marvel loved attention and was a child star, DC was hyperactive, Majesty was Sam's favorite and the two were like buddies and Wagner was the baby. Whitney and Mercedes were always close, but she backed off a little and understood that Wagner was the baby, sometime after he was born and she pretty much sank into this awkward, unnoticeable middle child position… or that was how it often felt.

When she got to her upscale integrated school, she was in for a culture shock and months of scary hormones. She had to inevitably do the uncomfortable thing and ask her mother about certain feelings. "For some reason, I guess I thought you wouldn't become interested in all of that," Mercedes mused. "Your sister began to ask questions as soon as her cycle came about." Mercedes explained to her daughter the natural changes in a young lady's body and how they affected her when she was attracted to someone or stimulated. She explained that many times teenagers felt pressured to behave sexually, and stressed, "Never let anyone pressure you to do anything with your body that you are not comfortable with; but also – when you make a decision to do something with your body, be sure that's what you really want to do. After you lose that, you can never get it back and it does change you even more. It makes you more likely to want more and more likely to give more. With your sense of values, I think that might be hard for you, but ultimately, I would just want you to make sure that you're safe and healthy…"

"Why wouldn't she be safe or healthy?" Sam asked, as he came into Whitney's room with a box. "Did something happen?"

Mercedes smiled softly and said, "Well, Whitney had some questions about boys and her body…"

Sam narrowed his eyes so slightly at Mercedes that Whitney missed it, as he cheerfully said, "Well, I guess that Daddy showed up right on time, since that's my area." He handed Whitney her box and said, "Another present came in the mail for you. This one's from your Aunt Stacey." He sat down next to his daughter on her bed and glanced at his wife, "I've got it, Mercy." She lifted her hands and left them to it, pretty much pissed off that Sam acted like after all of these years of a healthy sex life and five children, she still needed him to handle these types of things. Hell, she had already told her pretty much everything, anyway… but leave it to a man to think that he needs to fix things for his little woman. She rolled her eyes and went to have a snack.

"So… Is there a boy that you're interested in?" Sam wondered.

"No," she said too quickly.

"Whit, Daddy doesn't want you to lie to him. If there's a boy, I need to know, so that we can be prepared." Whitney bit her lip and still shook her head. "Alright. So, you say that there's no boy, but whether there is, or is not, you have to know this – it is hard for a teenage boy to treat a girl the way that she ought to be treated. Most teenage boys are selfish and only want girls for one thing – for sex. So, if there is a boy that you like, be careful around him. If there isn't, watch out for the ones that seem to be nice to you. One of your biggest issues with sex is going to be boys trying to get you to have it with them."

"And I tell them 'no,' because sex is a mortal sin and fornication is against the will of God," she answered.

"That's exactly what you tell him. He can argue with you, all he wants, but can he argue with God? And even if he dares to do it, are you going to choose some horny boy or God?" Sam asked. "Because, don't get me wrong – you have that choice. But, at what cost do you give yourself over to somebody, especially somebody that probably won't be around any longer than a few weeks, a few months, a few years?" Sam began to talk about the statistics of teen pregnancies and the number of teenagers with STDs. "And do you realize that at this age, if you are pregnant, as a teenager, your body is still considered the property of your mother and I. We decide what will become of you, should you run into such an issue. Your mom will make you have the baby," he told her. "I wouldn't want you to, but she'll speak about how one sin can't fix another. And unborn child is a life that should not be taken away…"

"I wouldn't want to kill a baby!" Whitney protested in horror.

"And condoms can prevent pregnancy and disease, but what condoms can't do is protect your heart from the guy that you chose to give it to when you let him inside. You'll have to try to bear that burden, for yourself. You're strong enough that I think that you can do it, but I wouldn't want you to have to go through that pain of rejection that a lot of teenagers face because they made the choice to give it up too soon and they gave it to the wrong one," Sam told her. Then, he gave her the statistics of teenagers who fell into depression after losing their virginity, or those who fell into depression after being dumped by a boyfriend or girlfriend, those who committed relationship related suicide, and those who attempted suicide based upon the actions of a lover.

"There is this deep emotional connection that is truly only meant to be shared between two people who love each other enough to be married," he concluded. "Look at your mom and I – the type of relationship that we have is one that is built upon love and sex for us is a spiritual, emotional, mental connection that neither of us could ever even imagine sharing with someone else. So, if you decide that there is some boy who is worth that, who can do that with you and for you, I hope that you're sure about him."

"I guess this is why The Bible tells us to wait until we're married to have sex," she observed.

"Yes," he told her, "That's why."

"But, what if I'm not interested in sex and I'm just confused about how my body is acting when cute boys are around? I just want to know what I can do to help myself not to become like one of those poor girls that you described. I don't want to lose my virtue or choose some boy over God, but sometimes, my body feels like I'll just burn up!"

"I used to take ice baths," Sam said, "When I was your age. Studies say that exercise helps and preachers say that prayer does."

"What do you say?" Whitney wondered.

"I say, see what works for you," Sam told her. Then reached for her box and said, "I wonder what your Aunt Stacey got for you. You gonna open it?" He asked.

"Maybe later. I've got my license, now. I think I'll go buy some ice…" She said and gave him a hug, "Thank you for our talk, Daddy. It was really helpful and informative."

"I love you, Lil' Diva," He told her.

So when Whitney realized that her older brothers did not get quite the talk that she and her sister got, she was a little bit upset. It wasn't like she was looking for an excuse to have sex, but her daddy had made her feel like having teenage sex was a downward spiral and no good could come of it. She felt like a terrible young lady for even having the feelings that she did! But, not only had her mother lost her virginity to her father in high school – on a tilt-a-whirl at a carnival, at that!... But, they had a regular sex life (after her mother kind of had to struggle against what she'd always been taught to believe and what she wanted believe from Sam)… so basically, he'd pretty much pressured her mama. Not to mention, when Marvel was conceived, they were even married then. She'd presumed that he was premature.

It wasn't in Whitney's personality to confront her father, though she wished that her mother would, because she would love to hear his excuse for telling his boys that he didn't really believe in all of that, because of how difficult it was for males to resist girls, then telling his girls to be careful because teenage boys were dangerous and sex with them was disastrous… She was crying. However mad she was, she couldn't go through with it. She thought, that would teach him. I'll do it with a boy and I'll tell him how hard it was for me to stop myself, and see what he has to say about that! But, she hadn't. She had tried, but quit, thinking about all of the things that her father and mother told her and what she had read and studied about in her own Bible. "I can't," she simply said. That didn't help her reputation, unless being called the "class cocktease" was the reputation that you'd want.

Thereonafter, she found herself frequently frustrated with her father and when she would give him attitude, it would bother him, until they came to a point where they only seemed to argue. Eventually, during her college years, she'd exploded on him, wondering why he would do that? Why would he tell her all of those things, if he really didn't believe them? "I'm sorry. I was wrong. I was selfish. A father generally doesn't worry so much about his boys – because they eventually show their manhood and he knows what it was like to be a young man and he trusts them to handle it in the ways that he's taught them. It's harder for us to do that with our daughters. We know how men are and how boys are. We know that you already have so many things that can go against you. You don't need to have your name dragged through the mud, or to wind up stuck with a child that you didn't want or thought you might get help from. You are always going to be my little girl, to me."

"Well, while you were so busy protecting me from guys and from a future caused by bad choices, I was beating myself up. Because I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, and why ice baths and exercise and prayer weren't fixing me. I thought that I was a bad person, Daddy, because I was a normal teenager with regular hormones and emotions!"

They had talked it out and claimed to get beyond it, but their relationship was never truly fixed, ever again. They loved each other and either would fight for the other at the drop of the hat, but there would always be some discourse.

"Never again, Oh Lord… I will never let any of the stuff that happened to us in the past get to me, again if you'll just…" She saw the doctor coming and she stood up and rushed to him.

"Miss Evans, your father is suffering from congestive heart failure," the doctor told her and her tears immediately fell.

"That's not something that you can fix," she commented.

"It is something that has treatment, which could result in a recovery," the doctor told her, "But, with someone your father's age, he has less of a chance than…"

"Do everything that you can," Whitney ordered. "I will understand that if it's his time, then we just have to say goodbye, but I need you to do every single thing that you can to help my father recover, if that's possible. The cost doesn't matter." The doctor nodded and made some notes on his clipboard. "Can I see him?"

"He's resting," the doctor told her, "but he is stable, so I'll take you to him."