A/N: As always, references to Twilight Series belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Hi all,

Just wanted to check in and make sure you're still enjoying the story. I appreciate all your comments and read every one. I don't wish to give anything away so be sure to read my note at the end of this chapter.

Chapter 13

As if things couldn't get any worse, I'd become the resident charity case. Emmett and Jasper kept me in their sights almost twenty-four, seven, since Emmett picked me up the other day. I still couldn't remember much but Emmett filled in some of the gaps, with what Alec had told him. Apparently, I called Jane to meet me at the pub.

I don't care how fucking drunk I was, that didn't happen.

I didn't know what Jane was up to, or how she knew where to find me, but I know I didn't call her. Everyone assumed I'd disappeared with her but I wouldn't confirm anything. I told them I was alone when I woke up.

They wouldn't even leave me in the car alone, while we waited for Alice's flight to arrive. Did they really think I'd hid liquor up my ass or something? How else did they expect me to get drunk, locked up in Jasper's car?

Siphon gas?

I hadn't stooped that low…yet.

I sat quietly on a plastic chair held together by steel rods, connecting it to an entire row of plastic chairs. They were uncomfortable, certainly not ergonomic, and I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees, twiddling my thumbs for something to do.

"Hung over?" Jasper snickered.

"How Jasper? I haven't had a drink in three days. Tell me how I'm supposed to be hung over?" I snapped. I was tired of their constant ribbing.

Jasper snickered and exchanged an ominous look with Emmett, "detox is a bitch, no matter what the drug." Emmett laughed, nodding his head in agreement.

I was beginning to hate them both and sighed in frustration, dragging my hand through my hair.

So that's what they were doing, trying to clean me up. No doubt, Esme wouldn't want a repeat of Thanksgiving when she hosted Christmas dinner in a few days. The prodigal son would have to smile and make nice for the family.

"When's Alice getting in?" I asked, bored and maybe a little whiny, but neither one answered. "Emmett, where did Alice go?" I tried again, pacing between the rows of plastic, multi-coloured chairs. Again my question was met with silence and I moved to the window, waiting for my jet to make its approach.

The sky was deceptively clear, impersonating a beautiful day, but outside the frosty air told a different story. The ground was covered with snow, reminding me every day that I had to dig out some winter wear for the worst was yet to come.

After a little more thought, I figured it would be much easier to just buy new winter gear. The idea of going through boxes at my parents place, looking for shit that Jane hadn't destroyed, didn't appeal to me in any way.

A plane taxied toward the gate and I recognized my company logo. Finally, Alice was here and we'd soon be leaving.

As the jet prepared to dock at the ramp, images of that night with Lucy flooded into my consciousness. I had been so angry after skimming through that paper. Was it possible? Was I capable?

My arrogance had never allowed me to doubt my innocence but deep down, deep, deep down I couldn't remember the details of that night. The anger prevented me from remembering and that did invoke a little fear.

I searched through the memories, listening to Lucy vocalize her pleasure, watching her mouth formulate the few words she spoke, and then just before I demanded she leave…what was she trying to say?

I closed my eyes to focus, to concentrate. "Wow, Edward, that was the bes…." Those were exact words, before I cut her off, I was sure of it. No, I absolutely did not rape Lucy.

As much as I protested about coming here, it turned out to have been the best thing for me, though I'd never admit it to those two idiots, Em and Jazz. I was sure now and suddenly a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I smiled.

I was still smiling when Alice called my name. I turned and began walking in her direction. "You told him," she scolded, still walking toward me but looking in Jasper's direction.

"No, we didn't." He replied.

"Tell me what?" I asked.

Alice stopped in her tracks and turned back toward the gate. In the short distance I could see the image of a young woman headed in our direction. "Bella," I whispered.

"Isn't it wonderful, Edward." Alice chirped excitedly, "she's here."

The smile on my face disappeared. "What have you done?" I growled quietly, shaking my head. Unsure of what Alice had told her, what spell she'd used to cast over my Bella to get her here. Afraid of what she'd say to me, face to face.

Spending the last few weeks in a drunken frenzy, I hadn't given myself a chance to think, to accept her rejection. To deal with anything. Why did she come here?

Bella approached us, looking me up and down, then turned her attention back to Alice, without a word to me.

I suddenly became aware of my full beard and wild, crazy, overgrown hair. I couldn't imagine what she thought of my appearance. I shifted in my jacket, uncomfortable in my own skin. Nervous…again.

What was it about this girl that made me feel this way?

She smiled sweetly as Alice introduced her, "this is my brother, Emmett and my wonderful husband, Jasper." Jasper blushed as Emmett shook hands with my Bella. I zeroed in on their point of connection and felt the heat rise in my face as I willed Emmett to stop touching her.

A luggage attendant wheeled their bags over to us, on a decorative cart, stopping closer to where I stood. His eyes lingered a little too long, "that will be all," I hissed and he looked up at me, embarrassed that I'd caught him gawking at the ladies in our group. He quickly unloaded the cart and scampered away.

"Well, let's get out of here." Jasper stated, grabbing Alice's bag with one hand and wrapping his free arm around her.

Instinctively, I reached for Bella's bags, "I've got it," she snarled, extending her arms passed mine and grabbing hold of her own luggage.

Emmett stepped in between us, "Let me help you with that," he said politely, flirtatiously, and Bella graciously stepped back, accepting his offer.

"Bella," Alice called, reaching for her hand. Bella caught up with her quickly leaving Emmett and me behind, to follow.

"Leave it to Alice to be her instant best friend." Emmett chuckled.

"Yeah," I snorted.

"She's pretty." Emmett commented nonchalantly and I shot him a hateful look, "Relax dude, I'm just saying," he defended, "you've got good taste."

"Hmm," I grunted at him.

"But boy have you pissed her off," he laughed pushing Bella's heaviest suitcase into my side until I grabbed the handle. "You can help now, she's not watching." Another hearty laugh escaped from his grinning mouth, grating on my nerves.

Outside the airport, Victoria Sutherland stepped into my path. "Glad to see you're heading toward the parking lot Mr. Cullen," she sneered. "I was a little concerned when I saw you at the gate."

"Detective," I greeted, restraining my desire to walk passed her uttering the expletives that sat on my tongue. Her eyes darted between my brother and me, for a long minute, before she stepped away, allowing us to continue.

Sutherland seemed to always be lingering in the shadows, waiting for a chance to pounce. I think she was deliberately trying to provoke me into giving her a reason to arrest me again. I could only assume drunk and disorderly didn't make the cut because it was more enjoyable for her to watch me make a fool of myself.

The car ride back to my parent's place presented another challenge. A test of my self control, in more ways than one.

Without thinking, Alice climbed into the front passenger seat beside Jasper, leaving Emmett and I to squeeze into the back, sandwiching Bella between us. The familiar scent of her hair and skin was tantalizing parts of me that hadn't been excited since the morning I'd left her house. I attempted to reach across the seat behind her, the illusion of having my arm around her would be enough to satisfy my intense urges, for now, but I was too late.

"Get your hand off me," Emmett whined as he flicked his hand up, pushing me away. His huge body took up a good portion of the seating and his arm had already sprawled across the back window, encompassing the space directly behind Bella.

Figuring out my intentions, Bella sidled closer to Emmett and again I could feel the anger mounting inside me. Why did she come here if she didn't want to be with me? Why the fuck did Emmett have to be here? He should have stayed home with his fiancé.

The reporters had long since left my parents property, though a few still followed me around from time to time. I was relieved Bella wouldn't see the hordes of reporters, watching my every move, like I'd been faced with on my return home. It would just remind her of what I'd done, what I'd been accused of doing.

Esme practically ran to her when we entered the house. "My, my, my, aren't you beautiful." She gushed and I could see the warm pink glow deepen in Bella's cheeks. Beautiful and modest, my Bella.

I caught myself smiling again as Alice introduced her. "This is Bella Swan. She's Charlie's daughter."

Esme and Carlisle, simultaneously tensed up a little at the mention of Chief Swan's name, sharing a brief look of alarm. It dissipated quickly and I don't think anyone else noticed it, but it did happen, and I did catch it. I wondered what was up and why they were on a first name basis with Bella's father but I'd inquire about it another time.

Rosalie stood back and I almost didn't notice she was even there. I prayed she'd keep her mouth shut and not say anything to offend Bella, or embarrass me. Fortunately, Emmett occupied her with a greeting of his own and her wide grin told me she was in a pleasant mood and most likely would not cause a scene.

Thank fuck, I thought, and I began to breathe a little easier. Things appeared to be going well.

A few times, during dinner, I caught Bella glancing in my direction, casually, lingering for just a second longer then she meant too. I caught her because I'd been looking in her direction throughout the entire meal.

She made no attempt to speak my name or smile or do anything to invite me to initiate something myself but she did look over, occasionally.

I'd take that as progress.

In my head, I'd called her name a hundred times. I rehearsed opening lines and planned discussions but couldn't work up enough gumption, in front of my family, to act any of it out.

"So, of course Bella, you'll be staying here with us while in you're in Boston." Esme insisted.

"Oh no. I couldn't possibly impose…."

"Not another word," Carlisle put up his hand to end her protest. "We couldn't possibly allow Charlie's daughter to stay anywhere else."

Esme placed her hand on top of my father's, there was gratitude in her eyes and I couldn't understand why. The stolen moments they'd shared, since Bella arrived, had really begun to pique my curiosity.

After dinner, while the family ushered Bella into the great room, I ran upstairs.

The reflection staring back at me, in the bathroom mirror, wasn't at all impressive. My hair was crazy wild and there was nothing I could do about it. Shaving my face was easy, though with the mask of hair gone, the effects of the alcohol were more noticeable.

I looked tired and drawn and a little thinner than before. Makes sense I guess, I gave up food for liquor, and passing out isn't the same as restful sleep. Hopefully, it would only take a few more days on the straight and narrow to bring me back to the way I was. For now though, I'd have to suck it up.

Suck up, at least, the physical part. The reflection revealed another side I wasn't ready to face, no pun intended.

Staring at myself, looking deeper then I'd probably ever looked before, I saw more than my own reflection in the stupid mirror. I saw my reflection through Bella's eyes. Those big pools of brown chocolate that made my heart melt when her smile reached up to them and ache when I saw the pain I'd put there.

Written across my face, as obvious as the words printed in those papers I hated, were liar, cold, married, hurtful, monster and the list went on. The words ran across my face like a marquee with WARNING blinking in random intervals.

How do I make it stop?

I inhaled and held the air in my cheeks for a minute before, slowly, allowing the air to escape.

I had to find a way.

Bella's laughter caught my attention as I neared the great room and I chose to stay back and watch her interact with my family. Surrounded by a room full of strangers yet it looked like she'd known them forever. Her eyes were bright and her laughter contagious as she listened to Esme's stories about me.

Stories I hadn't heard in a while, stories I'd long forgotten. "Oh Emmett, do you remember the time we were camping, was it Yellowstone or Yosemite? The first summer you got that dirt bike." Esme asked.

"Geez ma, I can't remember."

"Oh, I remember that. We went to the Cape that year. Martha's Vineyard." Carlisle piped in.

"Right, right. Yes, well Emmett was what, twelve, thirteen? And he'd just gotten a new dirt bike, his first dirt bike."

"And last, I might add thanks to a certain pesky little brother." Emmett interjected causing the group to rupture into another round of laughter.

I found myself chuckling, a little, too.

"We had an old RV back then. See Bella, we didn't have all this, in those years," Esme continued, her eyes glazed in nostalgic thoughts, "we were just a young family starting out."

"Yes ma, humble beginnings, we get it, now finish the story." Emmett urged, teasingly. Rose shoved against his arm and he pretended to be hurt by her gesture as he rubbed his bicep.

"Anyway, Emmett was so proud but there was so much he had to do before he could actually settle into riding his bike. I'd given him a list of chores, trying to keep him busy so he couldn't ride it…."

"I knew it!" Emmett pointed at Esme accusingly.

She chuckled as she continued, "so Edward who, as we know, is three years younger, decides he'll take the bike for a ride because nobody has told him not too. Well, it never occurred to us that Edward was interested in the dang thing. Next thing we know, there's a hole in the side of the RV, the dirt bike is in the middle of my bathroom and little Edward is running across the campground with this huge helmet wobbling around on his head like those things you can buy now, what are they?"

"Edward's the original bobblehead." Rosalie giggled.

"Yes, that's it, those bubble head things. Cute as a button and fast as anything."

"Fast, yes, but luckily easy to spot with that bright red helmet," Carlisle added. "I was able to catch him before he got too far."

By this time, I was laughing along with the family. We'd had some good times growing up.

Eventually, I joined the group, sitting beside Bella on the couch.

So close…and yet….

Still so far.

The warm glow of orange fire bounced light in everyone's eyes as they laughed themselves to tears, remembering the good ol' days. Jasper shared some of our mishaps from college days and Rosalie spoke up on Emmett's behalf a time or two as well.

As I looked around the room, settling on each person, one at a time, for a just a minute, I couldn't remember a time where everyone seemed so happy and content.

Rose and I even smiled at each other, briefly, when our eyes met.

I decided it was her, it was Bella, bringing even my family together like this and I chuckled quietly to myself as coined the phenomenon, The Bella Affect. I didn't realize I'd been staring at her until she looked back at me and smiled, for the first time today.

This time, I was the one blushing. She smiled at me. It wasn't an accident or left over laughter as she gazed around the room. It was deliberate and intentional and I loved to see her sweet lips curved upward for me.

I lived in that moment for a solid twenty seconds, trying to hold on to her attention.

"Well, that's enough for me for one night." Esme and Carlisle stood up simultaneously, and my moment with Bella was over, "this one needs to get to bed or he's a real bear in the morning." She laughed one more time as she snuggled closer to my father.

That's all it took to break up our little party. Everyone moved toward the front door, pulling on jackets, slipping on boots and tying scarves. Bella was in the middle of it all with hugs and kisses and 'see ya later' and 'great to meet you'.

I was amazed by family's eager acceptance of her. Grateful, but amazed, and even a little jealous as they freely touched her without inhibition, without hesitation.

"Can I get a ride with you guys?" My eyes aimed at Jasper.

"Sure," he replied casually, without a second thought.

"Yeah, it's not like we need to keep you under surveillance now," Emmett winked, with a sly grin, his eyebrows rising up and down on his forehead.

"Way to be subtle," Rose giggled, with an elbow jab to his rib cage.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, not at all amused, like the rest of us. She obviously assumed I would stay the night.

She was right.

Most definitely.

But I had to get my clothes from the hotel. I was craving a hot shower, or maybe, a cold one.

Alice couldn't wait to get in the car and drill me about Bella. I was more interested in what Bella had told her. She seemed to believe that Bella was in love with me which was music to my ears but, she continued, "you're walking on very thin ice, brother." I assumed as much.

It didn't take long to shove my clothes in the suitcase. Wrinkles be damned. Fifteen minutes at the front desk, to check out, and I was in my car, on my way back to her.

It was the first time I'd driven my car since Riley parked it in the hotel garage. It felt good to be back in the driver seat and I became almost giddy with hope.

Things were looking up.

The house was dark with only Esme's glowing nightlights scattered throughout. I shook my head, mom and her nightlights.

Casually, I checked the den, the great room, and the kitchen. There was no sign of her. My heart began to sink a little.

"Good evening," The voice startled me and I jumped a little.

"Berty, I didn't see you there." I laughed to cover up my lame reaction to my surprise. "Uhm…did you happen to see Bella?"

"Yes sir. I showed her to her room just after everyone left." He replied.

"Oh." I paused, hoping, in the dim light, he couldn't see my disappointment. "Thanks." I blurted out.

Berty let me get to the archway before he spoke again, "she did come back down, sir." He smirked. "I believe she's in the library."

When I looked back, Berty was shaking his head, a knowing grin told me he enjoyed making me sweat.

The door to the library was open, just a crack, and instead of bursting in, I decided to take it slow. It slid open a little more as I gently pushed against it, just enough that I could see her.

The lights were dimmed, barely bright enough for her to read the titles as she walked along the shelves, allowing her hand to slide from one binding to the next.

Now and then, she stopped to pay particular attention to something that caught her eye, a title, an author. I couldn't be sure, but when she turned to study whatever it was, I'd catch a glimpse, the soft glow of her fair skin peaking out behind heavy tresses of dark brown silken hair.

Those lips I'd been longing for, a delicate shade of pink, parted slightly as she whispered words to herself from the old leather binds. Absentmindedly, she'd pull her bottom lip between her teeth, sometimes slipping her tongue between them deepening their shade, deepening my want.

I had been so eager, so excited to get back to the house to see her, to be with her, to talk to her, but as I stood in the doorway, watching, that nervous feeling returned.

Suddenly, I was afraid to approach her. Afraid I wouldn't say the right thing. Afraid I'd make her hate me more.

I wasn't sure how long I stood there trying to decide the best move, figure out the right thing to say. A position I'd rarely found myself in. Until Bella, had never found myself in. I'd always been confident, known how to handle things, known exactly what to say and when, until Bella.

"Do you ever plan to come in?" She asked.

"Ye…yeah…yes…I mean," I stammered, surprised by her voice, her question. "I didn't think you…I mean…you knew I was here?" The heat rose in my face and I was blushing again. Really, I thought, again with the blushing? I hoped she found that attractive and not girly.

"Edward," she said my name and for a second, my knees weakened at the sound of each syllable rolling off her tongue. "I heard footsteps in the hallway. The house has been pretty quiet since you left."

She'd known the whole time, that I'd been standing there, and I didn't know what to make of that. Why didn't she say something sooner?

"Oh," I pushed the door all the way open and tried to get closer to her but she kept walking, deeper into the room, to the window, then across to the piano.

"Do you play," she asked.

"A little."

"Did you know who I was?" She asked. A question, I thought, I would have asked.

"Excuse me?" I didn't know what she meant.

"Your family, my father. They seem to be well acquainted and I wondered if you'd known all along?"

"Known what all along? I knew Charlie was your father but I don't know him. I don't why my family knows him." My reaction was a little harsher then I intended.

Bella turned her back to me.

Not a good sign.

I wasn't sure where to go from here, what to do. I guessed fighting was better than not talking at all. We'd get it out of our system tonight, while we were alone, then for the rest of her stay, however long that was, we could be…not…fighting.

Not fighting was the best I could hope for, all things considered. Atleast, for right now. With quick and light steps, I crossed the room until I was standing behind her.

She tensed beneath my shadow and I should have stepped back but I insisted on touching her anyway. I couldn't help myself, being so close, too close, and her body trembled in response.

Then as if all the nerve endings in my body were drawn into my hands, gravitating toward her, desperately seeking the life force she possessed, my body reacted to her, like her, trembling.

Too many emotions, too many sensations, explosive and overwhelming, erupted inside me like the perfect storm and I felt the warm sting of salty tears build behind my eyelids.

But it ended.

It ended too quickly.

Bella shrugged out of my loose grip, reaching for a specific framed photograph that had been resting on the shelf, amongst other family photos.

Her words were sharp as she turned to me, holding the picture, showing it to me, "your wife is beautiful," she said.

It was no surprise, with so many pictures, that Esme would miss one. Miss removing Jane from our lives completely, from our memories. But for Bella to find it now, to see it now, was too much.

I looked into her eyes, speechless.

Silently begging,

Hoping,

For nothing.

Afraid to hope for something and yet…

For everything.

"Bella," her name escaped my lips before my thoughts were complete. I didn't know where to go from here, from here name, but then I didn't have to go further.

She took it further.

Bella went further than I ever could, ever would….

She raised her hand and slapped me. Her tiny hand nipped against my face and I allowed it. I allowed her to strike me, to punish me, to make me pay.

I deserved it.

She deserved that chance. Had that right.

"I owed you that much," She said, gently, calmly, speaking in complete contrast to her boldness, her anger.

A/N: What do you think for poor Edward, are things looking up or not so much? I was worried Bella was going soft in the last chapter but I guess she found her…uhm… balls, so to speak.

This story has turned into much more than I ever dreamed. My initial plan was for ten chapters max but here we are heading to number fourteen. I really hope you're not getting bored of these two because there's still so much to come.