Disclaimer: Don't own, don't claim to, all creations with much respect property original creators

A/N: Here's Kakashi II for those of you that were waiting. This is set about six months after the first appearance with the drabble next chapter jumping back in time to just after he had woken up. Kakashi has recovered somewhat but he will always be in poor shape. He's in the midst of intensive rehabilitation in the hopes of being able to work and take care of himself. : )

Just a reminder that Naruto is very much dead. In fact he had a truly hideous death (Part of the reason for the intense PTSD of Sakura) during the war that involved Madara, Kyuubi and mucho wrongness of nature. (and no, I don't want to get into it right now. It was pretty bad. Oh noes!! D: )

The light crept through the window and the room slowly brightened until it could no longer be ignored.

He'd been awake with the pain all night anyway. He didn't particularly mind.

Kakashi lay flat on his back with his left arm folded awkwardly across his stomach. He slowly lifted it in front of his face and deliberately curled each finger in one by one before reluctantly releasing the fist and staring intently at the pale palm hovering in front of him.

'Why am I still alive?'

Makino was a woman of routine.

Everyday she got up at a certain time and attended to the same morning chores. Routine was familiar and instinctual. People frequently fell into them without realising it.

The familiar sounds that constituted her morning drifted up through the floorboards and the former jounin strained to hear them all

…former what? We can never leave it behind. Always coated in blood, always failing your friends. Would they still accept you if they knew what kind of person you really were?...

His breath ran as deep as his frustrated body would permit. Even up here he could taste the ocean in his mouth. Which was fine by him. He would stay by the ocean for the remainder of his days.

He was done with the forest.

He knew that Makino would help him if he asked.

Makino knew that Kakashi would only ask if he had no other choice.

He still had some pride. It was the only thing he really fought for anymore.

The fact that he had survived was a minor miracle. He would never fight again but he didn't give a damn. He had long lost any reason to anyway. His goal for now was to gain basic functionality.

He sighed as the sounds progressed. He couldn't really put it off any longer.

'No need to cause extra trouble for Makino-san'

He sat up with a wince. His muscles, what little power they still retained, were barely up to this little task.

…Pathetic…

He stayed like that for a moment, giving the blood rushing about his head time to settle before he flipped back the covers and slid his feet out to touch the floorboards. There was the usual jolt of pain from his left side when he put some pressure on that leg.

His target was across the room on the dresser. It stood out against the faded pine varnish. He breathed deeply and stood up as naturally as he could. He swayed in pain but didn't fall over.

(The result of six months worth of intensive rehabilitation.)

Slowly, favouring his right he crossed the few steps to the dresser.

'To think that what was once a careless and irrelevant action has become an expedition to begin the day' he groused internally as he leaned against the dresser.

He fumbled his eye patch before putting it on. Makino-san had helped him with it. They called it an eye patch but it really covered most of his forehead and cheek as well. The scars didn't exactly bother him.

…Why inflict them upon others? Best to cover our shame and not trouble other people…

He had given up the mask. It didn't matter anymore. The old allegiances were dead, no need to conceal anything from his enemies. Everyone was neutral in the end. Why hang on to grudges when hell is indiscriminate.

He fumbled with the ties of his trousers. The shirt was truly the most hellish piece of clothing ever invented because he had to raise his arm to get it on and that hurt like a bitch.

God bless Makino-san for those sandals though. No ties, nothing complicated, just slip your foot in. He gripped his walking stick and sighed. He almost felt sympathy for Danzo but then he remembered how much he had hated the prick before turning to face his new enemy.

Damn stairs.

Makino looked up when Kakashi shuffled in but pretended not to notice until he had heaved himself into a comfortable chair.

"Good morning Kakashi-san"

"Good morning Makino-san"

Every morning it was the same thing. Routine was comforting.

Makino placed a plate in front of him and he smiled gratefully before beginning the arduous task of manipulating the knife and fork.

'That simple tasks like this could be so frustrating.' He mused internally.

His right hand was fully functional but very weak. His left hand was a constant riot of pain. He wondered if Obito would have lived this kind of life if they hadn't failed him. Somehow he didn't think so. It didn't suit the energetic young Uchiha who was always in a hurry even when he wasn't being perpetually late.

Still, it was nice.

The sounds of the village drifted in through the door, the morning light cast shadows around the settings and everything was peaceful interrupted only by the clank of cutlery or the scratch of a pen.

Kakashi knew that this kind of life was far more than he deserved. He had failed in all of his most important duties. But the memory of his beloved father always stayed his hand no matter how tempting it would be to remove the burden from their shoulders. He wasn't even able to earn any kind of living, he felt ashamed in truth.

He placed the knife and fork down neatly on his plate and sighed. It did get easier, he quickly reminded himself, even if it was an excruciatingly slow progress.

It was also exhausting he reflected as he leant back in the chair and watched Makino frown over her ledger. She cursed and rattled her abacus distractedly. He smiled inwardly. It seemed that most people hated that part of the job.

"Makino-san…"

She jumped and glanced up guiltily. Kakashi extended his hand.

"May I?"

The only sounds in the bar was the gentle clinking of dishes from Makino and the tap of the abacus in time to the scratch of his pen in the accounts. The tranquillity seemed fragile somehow.

"I'm amazed Kakashi-san" Makino enthused "I had no idea you were so good at with figures."

"Maa, I was considered a prodigy you know. Maths was an important part of that."

…How long a man can live without air, how fast a kunai can travel to reach a skull 50 yards away, how many nerve receptors must be used for extracting information from an unwilling informant…

He flipped a page and checked some extra figures. "My parents died young so I had to learn how to manage my finances at a young age."

Makino regarded him seriously for a moment and he obligingly pretended not to notice. He rarely mentioned his past, probing wouldn't encourage him in the least.

Everyday the Mayor Woop Slap came to visit Hatake Kakashi.

The Konoha native knew very well that he was under observation but he couldn't bring himself to give a damn. He did appreciate the company though and Woop did help him keep up with the world news.

Woop was pretty pissed when he found out that Kakashi knew several pirates but Makino helpfully pointed out that they weren't pirates when he knew them, he didn't know that they'd become pirates and Fuschia village was the hometown of some of the most infamous men in the world so who were they to judge.

He strode in and commandeered a seat at the table they were sitting at slapping the paper down on the table. He raised an eyebrow at Kakashi who was surrounded by account books, ink and a rather abused abacus.

"Kakashi-san is going to do my accounts for me. He's very good at math." Makino said as way of explanation.

"Mmm, it's really the least I could do. At least I'm up to tackling this chore." Kakashi sounded, rather than bitter, just very very tired. When he spoke like that the villagers saw a worrying specimen, a man who had all of the fight sucked out of him. Makino and the mayor shared a worried glance.

Kakashi focused on his ink-stained fingers and the task in front of him.

…the ninja gasped and spluttered trying desperately to breathe, for once real fear entering his vision.

Kakashi pressed his hands over his throat trying desperately to stem the flow of bleeding. Where was Sakura? Where was the fucking medic? This was her job!! Notimenotimenotimeohgod! He's dying and there's nothing I can do!! Notagainpleasedon'tdieObitoFatherSensei.

…

…hands covered in blood…

Kakashi jerked awake.

He blinked blearily and looked around. He assumed, due to the cramp in his back that he had fallen asleep in the chair again. Someone, Makino most likely had folded a blanket over him.

The account books had been stacked up and the newspaper left folded on the desk. He eyed the paper longingly but knew that he'd be in worse pain that evening if he didn't get some exercise now. He grabbed his stick and hefted himself out of his chair pausing for a moment when a faintness overcame him.

Steeling himself and resolutely ignoring the pain in his limbs he made his way to the door and out for his daily walk.

Kakashi slowly hobbled down the road nodding to the villagers who greeted him.

He noted with sadness that there didn't really seem to be anyone younger than twenty-five on the island. Makino had mentioned that before. Luffy and Ace pretty much only had each other growing up. There were no other children in the village and the majority of younger people left the island for at least a few years to find work elsewhere or to see a bit of the world.

Judging by the sun, it was only early afternoon. He paused and calculated the week quickly before deciding on his route.

He made his way towards the docks. The last Hatake stopped a few times to talk to some of the villagers before reaching the waters. He paused momentarily to inhale a taste of the salty air. Growing up in Konoha had never really afforded him much chance to enjoy a sea breeze so he always took a moment to appreciate the sharp taste of the ocean air.

…Never going back remember. We swore that when the forest was razed. Too damn much, too much blood not even the graves Oh god, not even the memorials…

The road continued along the coast up to the small building intended for weddings and funerary services. He followed it and passed it by meandering into the well tended graveyard. He visited every other day. With no graves, or a memorial to visit it was the closest thing he had.

Most of the graves possessed familiar names, the ancestors of the townspeople. He noted a couple bearing the family name 'Monkey' and reminded himself of his solemn desire to never have to deal with one Monkey D. Garp. He would never recover enough health to deal with that kind of personality again.

Kakashi sat against the large memorial to those lost at sea (Which included to Pirates, Marines and Sea kings. Makino had explained to him in no uncertain terms that if 'that' happened Ace and Luffy would be carved onto this monolith as well) 'Such a short walk and already I'm tired again. Goddamit'

He gazed out towards the sea and idly toyed with the idea of becoming a pirate and going to meet up with his fellow oath-bearers on the Grand Line before dismissing it. His day was done, he knew that. Let the others carve their path forward, he would stay here. To be able to live in such a peaceful place was more than he deserved.

…He wasn't moving either. Were they all dead? What had happened to him? Why was he acting like this, it made no sense…those eyes, the madness…Chidori!! …

He stood up abruptly and instantly regretted it but gritted his teeth and swaying made his way back into town.

The bar was busy as usual that evening.

The ebb and flow was familiar by now and comforting in its own way. Today Kakashi had elected to sit with the mayor and work his way through the paper. He paused at one section and made a sound caught somewhere between humour, disbelief and surprise.

Woop caught his eye enquiringly and Kakashi showed him the article of a recent massacre perpetrated by the Kidd Pirates.

"I knew that girl." Kakashi explained as he tapped her be masked portrait "If you knew her as a child you'd never guess that she would have become a pirate like that. A regular timid little Ojousama like that."

Woop raised his eyebrow "You know a lot of damn pirates Kakashi-san"

"I'm surprise myself Mayor-san."

He regarded the picture with a troubled expression. "That girl went through some terrible things back then. I wonder how her life took such a turn. I just hope that she is at least capable of making her own decisions."

The Mayor chewed on his pipe. "You want that she chose to become a pirate?"

"I want that she is sane and in control of her own actions. Even if she does terrible things, at least she is making her own decisions."

The other man sniffed but passed no further comment.

…The room was covered in blood. One of the targets had been awake and had fought back. There was no room for error. He signalled his team and they converged on him…

Kakashi stared at his fractured hand. He had improved somewhat. He could use eating utensils now even if he was a bit slow. Like he did every morning and several times a day he deliberately flexed his fingers savouring the pain that jolted as he did that.

'If there's feeling, there's hope. The flesh is alive; it just needs time to heal.'

Running a mental checklist it was clear that he had far to go. He would never fight again, he knew that and was perversely glad but he wanted to be able to work. He couldn't even help Makino with her simplest chores. He was secretly glad about the arrangement with the books. He wasn't called a genius for nothing; he had an aptitude for numbers and calculations. Makino hated doing her accounts and wasn't very good at them. Kakashi was bored, guilty, desperate for something to do and gifted. It worked out very well for both of them. He had done her takings for the night and was waiting for her to finish up before going to bed.

Makino wrung out her cloth for the final time and glanced at the wall. She had framed the bounty posters for both Ace and Luffy much to the annoyance of the Mayor. She didn't see what his problem was, she had framed articles of Garp too (And Dragon as well, she remembered the serious intensity of that older boy when she was young. He was never cruel of unjust to anyone but he had a sort of gravitas that frightened her. She knew that he would do something big even then but she had no idea just what.) It was showing pride in famous sons of the town after all. The patrons agreed and drank to that thus winning the argument. She glanced at Luffy's grinning face and sighed.

"He'll come back you know."

She jumped and turned to Kakashi, his lean figure sitting heavily in a chair by the bar. His handsome face regarded her seriously with a touch of concern over the head of his cane.

"Eh? What do you mean Kakashi-san? Luffy will be fine, he's more than able to look after himself."

"I'm not doubting that but you're allowed to worry Makino-san. It's normal. When we send them off into the world, we know that they'll do their best and pray that they'll find their way."

She lowered her eyes "That's true I suppose. I'm always glad to hear that they're doing well but sometimes you just wish that they'll come flying in again demanding something to eat."

She made her way out from behind the bar and stood beside him.

He smiled cheerfully. "I know that feeling alright but Makino-san, did you know? The end of a quest is in the exact same spot as the beginning. The adventure isn't over until the hero returns home triumphant."

"That will," she smiled "be quite a party."

"Well I for one, am already looking forward to it."

He stood up and made his way to the stairs while she checked the door and snuffed the lights.

The bar usually had a late night, and even later for those that lived there.

…His fathers' face smiled sad and gentle across the flames.

'Mother was probably waiting for him to forgive himself' he mused. Those features, so much like his own, peered through the fluttering firelight.

"Is it alright?" he wondered "to want a different kind of life."

"As long as it's a life you have chosen for yourself." Sakumo murmured "If it makes you happy then go for it. I don't think we'd have the right to judge you."

"This war…"

"I know."

"I don't think that chance will come."

"It will. After all is said in done you can rest easy and send the younger generation on their way."

"Father…"

"You better get going. You're late enough as it is Kakashi. Time to wake up and smell that sea air."