and now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123
Rhyme Time
Andy and Sherman's house had rather loud bass notes coming out of it. It sounded a lot like someone was playing incredibly loud music in it. The only possible explanation was the truth: someone was playing loud music. And it wasn't good music either.
Andy was sitting upstairs in his room, trying to read a book, but the pulsating noises of an annoying song were creeping their way into his room. His teeth gritted and his eyes clenched with every beat.
After about thirty more seconds of flinching at the awful music, Andy got up and threw the book in the corner.
"What in the heck Ramsey is he doing down there?!" he wondered angrily aloud.
Andy angrily yanked open his door and stalked down the stairs towards the hidden door in the wall. He pressed the buttons on the wall and opened. He stomped down the spiral staircase into the lab of one Sherman J Hamster.
When he got there, he saw Sherman was pressing buttons and looking at something that Andy couldn't see.
Curiously, the music wasn't really getting any louder, but the bass notes were.
"Sherman, what in the name of James P Morgan are you doing in here?!" Andy demanded.
"An important experiment," Sherman replied. "I'm testing the song Stayin' Alive to see if it has some sort of supernatural power."
Andy stared at him. Then he recognized the music that was playing.
"Wait… You're talking about Stayin' Alive…by the Bee Gees?" he asked.
"Yep, that's the song," Sherman replied. "I think it has some sort of hypnotic power."
"What kind of power?"
"It can force anyone to dance, even if you don't want to."
Andy looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"But you have to crank up the volume really loud," Sherman continued. "That's the key. If you crank it loud enough, no mortal can resist dancing! Why, look at yourself right now!"
Andy looked down and found to his horror that his foot was tapping to the beat. He strained to listen to the music coming through the speaker.
"WELL, YOU CAN TELL BY THE WAY I USE MY WALK, I'M A WOMAN'S MAN, NO TIME TO TALK!"
It was blaring from inside a glass cage, and when Andy looked more closely, he could see someone inside it.
"What's Socrates doing in there?!" he demanded, watching as Socrates jammed away in the glass enclosure.
Sherman looked back up at the tiger. "Well, I'm just a scientist, but given the evidence, I'd say he's shakin' his groove thang." He pressed a button and spoke into an intercom. "How's it going in there, Socrates?" he asked.
Socrates' out of breath response was nearly drowned by the music.
"WHETHER YOU'RE A BROTHER OR WHETHER YOU'RE A MOTHER, YOU'RE STAYIN' ALIVE…"
"Lyrics…make no sense…yet…must get down…with bad self…," Socrates gasped.
"Okay, keep at it," Sherman replied. And he turned back to Andy. "And that's how it is," he said, grinning.
Andy stared at Socrates and then back at Sherman. "Just what does this experiment prove?" he asked.
"I've forgotten, actually. It's been a few hours."
Andy stared at him some more.
"And, if you listen carefully, you can hear the exact moment when Barry Gibb becomes Castrati!" Sherman added cheerfully.
Andy rolled his eyes and spoke into the intercom. "Socrates, do you wanna come out?" he asked.
The song blared through as Socrates tried to reply.
"I'M STAYING ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"
"Kill…me…," Socrates gasped. "My mind…saying no…but feet…keep…saying…YES!"
Andy rolled his eyes and hit a button on the control panel.
Finally, the music ceased playing, and an out of breath Socrates collapsed on the floor of the cage.
Andy glared at Sherman.
"What?!" Sherman demanded. "I gave him oxygen!"
"Look, Shermie, I really think that—"
KACOOM!
They all jumped as an explosion went off from outside the house.
"What in the name of Nutter Butters was that?!" Andy demanded.
"What is it with you today?" Sherman asked.
Helping Socrates to his feet, they hurried out of the lab and out of the house, and then out onto the front lawn. They looked down the street a few houses down at Calvin and Hobbes' house.
"Wait for it…," Andy said. "It's going to happen. It always happens."
After a brief pause, it did.
KACOOM!
A bright flash emitted from the backyard, and the noise echoed again.
Andy heaved a sigh. "C'mon, guys," he said wearily. "Calvin's experimenting again." And he set off.
"Aw, man," Socrates moaned. "It's hard enough having you around," he said, pointing at Sherman. "Why do we have two inventors in this neighborhood?"
Sherman rolled his eyes.
Calvin and Hobbes were in the backyard with the MTM. Hobbes was leaning against the tree, reading a comic book, and Calvin and MTM were working on something.
Andy, Sherman and Socrates arrived through the gate.
Hobbes noticed them. "Uh-oh, Calvin," he said. "Looks like your whacky antics have caught the attention of the neighbors again."
Calvin looked over and saw them. "Oh, hey guys," he said. "Sorry about the noise. We're busy today."
"I accept no blame for this," MTM replied.
Calvin glared at him.
"What are you trying to do exactly?" Andy asked, crossing his arms.
"I'm trying to study different universes and dimensions," Calvin replied proudly.
Everyone stared at him.
"Okay, I'll bite," Sherman sighed. "Calvin, why are you trying to study different universes and dimensions?"
"Well, if I can tap into alternate universes, I can harness the energies to make cooler inventions!"
"Why?" Socrates asked. "You've got enough inventions! In fact, out of all of them, MTM is probably the only one you could ever need!"
"He's right, you know," MTM agreed. "You can't get much cooler than me! I'm what am happening. I'm hip. I'm now. I'm all of that with a side of hash browns."
Calvin glared at him. "Will you please get back to work?" he demanded.
"You mean will I please go back to letting you drain my batteries so you can go on some pointless mission? Yes, I most certainly will. Thank you very much."
And he began to charge with energy again.
KACOOM!
There was an explosion of energy that threw Andy, Sherman and Socrates backwards as Calvin continued to look into the MTM. He pressed a button.
Suddenly, a ray of light spilt from the MTM, and it created a holographic projection that probably stretched several stories high. It looked like a gigantic window. Inside it was a giant picture of outer space.
They could see a whole row of planets slowly passing each other. They could see comets and rocks and a huge sun in the middle of it all. They all looked like toys on a table that was painted to look like a blanket of stars.
"Whoa!" Sherman breathed, staring at it in awe. "It's beautiful."
Calvin grinned.
"It's a lousy plan, but it's still beautiful!" he added.
Calvin rolled his eyes.
"So what now?" Andy asked.
"Now I just harness the energies and move on to the next one," Calvin replied, activating some controls.
After a pause, the noise went off again.
KACOOM!
The hologram disappeared back into MTM, and Calvin began putting in more commands.
"Well, this plan is going to go hideously wrong," Socrates announced. "I think I'm gonna go home and sit this one out."
"Yeah, me too," said Andy.
"And I, as well," Sherman agreed.
And they left.
Calvin snorted.
"They don't get it," he muttered.
"Poor delusional dopes," Hobbes said, not looking up.
Hours later, Hobbes was trying to get some sleep. He was just dozing off when Calvin entered the room.
"Well, that went nicely," he said calmly.
"Mmmm… Wha…?" Hobbes asked, slowly raising his head.
"I've explored at least fifteen different universes today!"
"Mmph… Let me sleep, please…"
"You should've seen 'em, Hobbes! Some universes were like ours, but others were radically different!"
"Mmm-hmmmm…"
"No, really! There was one where ducks were the dominant species!"
"Uh-huh."
"And another one had a planet where the entire surface was made of glass! Upon closer inspection, I found it was all beer bottles!"
"Please leave."
"The third universe was even more interesting! It had three planets where the main delicacy was bicycles! Can you imagine such a thing? Imagine sitting down and dining on Moo Goo Gai Bike!"
"Whatever."
"There was a fourth universe that was particularly intriguing!" Calvin continued. "It had ten planets, and they were all linked together by a long scarf! Imagine! Interplanetary disruption caused by a giant pair of scissors!"
"Go away."
"The fifth one was pretty cool! It had miles upon miles of chocolate bars! And the best part was acne was curable there!"
"Shut up, please."
"And the sixth one! Oh, that one was incredibly weird! All the clothes there see-through! Needless to say, we didn't spend a long time there."
"Just stop it."
"The seventh had this really weird religion that involved dogs. It gave out five sacred laws, and apparently, we've broken at least four. It'd be five, but there's no sheep around here."
Hobbes suddenly at up with bleary, angry eyes.
"LOOK, I'M SICK TO DEATH OF YOU GOING ON ABOUT YOUR LITTLE PLAN! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE! NOW GET OUT OF HERE OR I'LL CHUCK YOU INTO ONE OF THOSE UNIVERSES MYSELF!"
There was a long pause as Calvin and Hobbes stared at each other, and Hobbes was struck with crushing realization.
"…if you'll just show me how," he muttered, covering his face and tipping over backwards onto the bed.
"And the eighth universe was incredibly small," Calvin said, resuming his speech. "One bad sneeze and we'd have had a three-way planetoid collision!"
Hobbes groaned and tried to sleep.
The next day, Calvin was trying to figure a few things out with the MTM. They sat in the treehouse, discussing various things that only they would ever discuss.
"Okay, we've harnessed all the energies we'll need?" he asked.
"Yep," MTM replied.
"And do you have all the documentation about the alternate universes we discovered?"
"Yep… Well…"
"Well, what?"
"Well, it seems as though one of the alternate universes, namely the fifteenth one, was too far out of reach for me to do a proper scan. I could only harness the energy from it, but I couldn't get any details," MTM explained.
Calvin pondered this.
"Hmmmm…," he said, scratching his chin. "So we have a mystery on our hands?"
"That's a rather quaint way of putting it, but yes, I suppose we do," MTM said.
Calvin thought for a few minutes. MTM busied himself by humming a song.
"Well, there's only one thing to do!" Calvin said at last.
"And that is?"
"We'll have to get a better look!"
"Why?"
"Well, don't you wonder what's there? All the universes we have seen have been really weird! Imagine the possibilities!"
"Now there's an idea right there!" MTM said. "Let's just let our imaginations run wild with ideas as to what it could be. I'm sure that we'll enjoy that far more than actually going!"
Calvin snorted.
"Dream on," he said. "I'm a realist! I don't go chasing fantasies!"
"Right…," MTM said knowingly.
"I need to see things for what they are!"
"Uh-huh."
"You know, it wouldn't be unappreciated if you'd genuinely agree with me," Calvin said, glaring at MTM.
"Whatever."
"Now then, what's a good way to see what's in that mystery universe?"
MTM pondered this.
"Well, there's only one real way to do it, but it's incredibly risky and inadvisable."
"And that is…?"
MTM paused impressively.
"We can stretch our universe over towards it."
"Huh? We can stretch a universe?"
"Yep, if we were to use my vortex manipulator, we could take our universe and stretch it over towards the other one, and we can link with it."
"What would be the danger, exactly?" Calvin asked warily.
"Well, it might cause our universe to blend with the other, and we'd become incorporated into its customs."
"Huh. Yeah, that does sound bad."
"Precisely," MTM said.
There was a pause as they stared at each other intently.
"You still want to do it, don't you?" MTM said wearily.
"You know me so well," Calvin grinned sweetly.
"I wouldn't advise it."
"I'm sure you wouldn't."
"It's incredibly risky."
"It most likely is."
"We might destroy both universes."
"Thus making it quite risky."
"Will you just listen for a moment?"
"Why? So you can just tell me more of the same?"
MTM sighed.
"Fine," he said. "We'll give it a try. Aim me at the sky."
Calvin grinned, and aimed MTM into the air.
"What happens now?"
"Hang about. I've got it in hand."
MTM whirred like a computer booting up, and he started to flash.
"Now see? Why do you need other inventions when you've got me?"
Calvin rolled his eyes.
"Just get on with it, Spielberg," he replied.
There was a louder whirring sound, and a beam of energy shot from the MTM.
BRAZOOM!
The beam of white light shot straight into the sky and trailed off.
"What's going on?" Calvin asked.
"I'm sending a grappling link across the void towards the mystery universe," MTM replied. "I've almost got it."
There was a pause.
"I've linked with it. Hold on."
BOOM! BRZAP!
Suddenly, smoke began to pour from MTM, causing Calvin to inadvertently drop him on the treehouse floor.
"GACK!" Calvin coughed. "What the heck was that?!"
"I think I might've miscalculated," MTM said sheepishly.
Calvin waved the smoke away, trying to see what was happening.
"No panic. I've got it in hand," MTM said.
BRZAP-BAP-BAP!
"Whoops."
"Whoops?!" Calvin shouted. "What'd you say?!"
"Nothing. Don't panic."
"WHAT'D YOU SAY?! DID YOU SAY 'WHOOPS'?!"
"Settle down."
"NO! NOW I KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE WHEN I SAY 'WHOOPS', SO WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"Almost got it sorted. Hang about."
BAM! VOOM!
Calvin was knocked off his feet.
"I've overloaded the vortex manipulator," MTM said calmly. "It's burnt out."
"Now what happens?!"
"I was only half-finished. I think the two dimensions are splicing together. Hold on."
A blinding white flash went off.
Calvin immediately began rubbing his eyes, looking around blindly.
"Wha… What happened?" he asked, trying to get his bearings back.
MTM paused again. It was becoming a habit, Calvin had noticed.
"It's almost done," MTM said. "We've almost completely converged with that dimension we linked to."
Calvin looked around, his vision finally cleared.
"Huh," he said. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything appears to be fine. If there wasn't, there'd be some sort of sign," MTM replied.
Calvin paused and then looked down at MTM.
"Do you realize you've just rhymed? Are you gonna do that all the time?" Calvin asked irritably.
Then he slapped his hand over his mouth.
Calvin and MTM stared at each other bemusement and horror.
Nervously, Calvin removed his hand from his mouth.
"Our words all sound the same! This is a terrible shame!"
He slapped his hand over his mouth again.
MTM waited for him to say something.
"I imagine you wanted to say something other than 'shame'," he said. "Otherwise you've come across as quite lame."
"MTM, what's going on?" Calvin demanded. "Why do we both sound like a song?!"
"We've merged with that dimension, as before I once did mention," MTM replied. "The universe was entirely empty, just filled with poetic energy."
"I see. What's poetic energy?"
"It's energy for poets. We'll all rhyme, but they won't know it!"
"They won't know it, all our friends?"
"They'll all rhyme until the end!"
Calvin and MTM spent a good three hours trying to communicate with each other. It was a long and tedious discussion. The discussion was short in content, but being limited to rhyming, it took a good long time for them to figure everything out.
The basic content of the discussion included this: MTM's grappling link had managed to grab the mystery universe Calvin had wanted to see. They had merged with it. MTM had figured out that the universe was empty, and simply harnessed the poetic energy. Calvin and MTM had also determined that they would, in all likelihood, be the only ones aware of the rhyming.
They eventually decided they'd have to see Sherman about this, so they climbed down from the treehouse and set off to find him.
Sherman was casually at work in his lab, mixing up test tube formulas for random experiments. He wasn't working too hard, so he didn't mind when the intercom buzzed.
"Sherman, we've got a problem and could use your help!" Calvin's voice said.
"Come on down, and try not to yelp," Sherman replied, not looking up.
Calvin came running into the room and stopped halfway down the spiral staircase to say something.
"Sherman, you've gotta help! We're talking in rhyme!"
"I'm sure, like all things, it will pass in good time," Sherman replied, still not looking at him.
Wincing and groaning, Calvin finished his descent and approached him.
"Sherman, I'm not joking! We speak poetry!"
"Then get on your way before you pass it to me."
"It's too late for that! It's the whole town! This universe has been converted to cheesy speech sounds!"
"I can't sense a thing. All is normal. I must ask you to leave for being informal."
"MTM, tell him! Tell the truth!"
"It'll do us no good. Any attempt is uncouth," MTM replied. "Since we put for the act, only we shall know. Sherman's convinced its all part of the show."
Calvin was getting incredibly agitated. Something that was hard in real life was proving too easy to be fun right now.
"Fine, then," he muttered. "We'll leave. We'll do it alone. Come on, MTM. We're going home."
And Calvin and MTM went back to the spiral staircase and went towards the door.
"Have a nice day. If you need help, give a shout," Sherman said, still not looking at them. "And don't let the door hit you on the way out."
Calvin simply nodded and left. He and MTM left the house and emptied out onto the street.
"We must find a way out of this rhyming place now!" he said. "This whole thing's worse than a case of Mad Cow! We could stop talking and say nothing at all, but then there's the case of telephone calls! We're cursed! No way out! It's a fate worse than death!"
"Well, at least brush your teeth. You've got Sugar Bombs breath," MTM snorted.
You want to know how to drive yourself insane? Listen to a never ending poem. Three hours went by and Calvin and the MTM were about to go crazy. They were saying words they didn't even know the meanings to because the new universe was forcing them to talk in rhyme.
"What are we going to do, MTM?" Calvin groaned, walking back towards his house. "I can't believe nobody realizes the difference!"
"Well, we shouldn't try to convince them," MTM said.
"Is there any way we can split the universes apart do you think?" Calvin demanded.
"I'm not entirely sure," MTM said. "It's quite a powerful link."
Calvin walked up to his front door.
"Is there any way you could suck the poetic energy out?" He asked.
"I'm afraid not," MTM said. "Yet, I see no reason to pout."
"YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING!!!" Calvin screamed, walking into the house.
"Calvin, you're being too loud!" Mom called from another room.
"At least he's not lying," MTM said.
"Oh, shut up!" Calvin spat at his CD player.
Hobbes was up in Calvin's room, reading a comic book.
Suddenly, Calvin came bursting in, his face red with frustration.
The tiger looked up, and put the comic book away.
"Oh hi, mate," He said. "Are you done fooling around with different universes. I was worrying about your fate,"
Calvin glared at him, and marched over to his desk.
Hobbes watched.
"You're in a bad mood," He observed. "What seems to be the problem?"
"Oh, no all is fine, dude!" MTM said, cheerfully.
"Oh, that's good," Hobbes said. "Wouldn't want to be around if he was in a bad mood. I would rush away, if I could."
"SHUT UP!!" Calvin screamed.
"Why, Calvin, are we getting cranky?" MTM said, clearly starting to enjoy this.
"Yup," Hobbes said.
"THAT DOES IT!!" Calvin shouted at last. "I've taken enough! My fuse has been lit! I want all this to stop, now! Can't you see I'm going mad? I want it all to cease and I know how!" he thought for a moment. "EVERYONE STOP TALKING!!"
Hobbes stared at him.
"If everyone is silent there's no rhyming." Calvin declared "NOW STOP GAWKING!! Just shut up and let me ponder."
MTM sighed.
There was a long moment of silence.
Hobbes opened his mouth to speak.
"Don't talk!" Calvin spat, holding a hand up.
The silence continued.
Suddenly, the MTM spoke.
"So, who's mind besides mine is starting to wander?"
Calvin groaned, loudly.
As the time passed, Calvin tried to think of some way to stop the rhyming.
In total pathetic vain, I might add.
"Alright, MTM, here's a plan," He said, holding the MTM to his chest.
"Will it work?" MTM asked.
"It better, I'm a very busy man." Calvin replied. "Now, if you can absorb all the poetic energy out, then all the rhyming would stop! It would be without a doubt!"
"You want me to absorb the entire reality?" MTM demanded. "Is that even possible?"
"MTM, I believe you're getting to senility," Calvin replied. "Of course things will perk! Why wouldn't it?"
"If it doesn't you'll probably be a real jerk," MTM said.
"Just do it," Calvin moaned.
"Very well," MTM said. "Go on ahead, and sit."
Calvin sat down and waited.
For a second, nothing happened.
Then, a blue energy suddenly fused itself out of the air and into the MTM.
Calvin watched, silently.
The energy continued being sucked out of the space around Calvin and the MTM.
Finally, it stopped coming through.
"There," MTM said. "That should do it,"
Calvin paused, looking around.
"Testing.... Testing.... one two three.... two one three.... four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie," He said, quickly.
"You know that's even more annoying than the rhyming," MTM sighed.
"It worked!" Calvin grinned, his fist going to the air, feeling as though a giant weight had just been lifted off of him. "Everything is back to normal!!"
"Supposedly," MTM said.
Calvin glared at him.
"Of course it is, MTM," He declared. "Have you no faith? Reality is back to normal and we've sewed up the hem!"
"You just rhymed, once more." MTM said.
Calvin stared at him.
"No, I didn't," He growled. "If I had, that means our attempts to make it stop would have been poor!"
"That's what I mean," MTM said. "I really don't think that plan was very keen."
"Why didn't it work?!" Calvin groaned, realizing that the rhyming had come back. "Everything was calculated through!"
"And to think you said things would perk," MTM scoffed.
In order to avoid another excessively stupid conversation, the main thing that happened was that MTM had only absorbed enough of the energy to encase him and Calvin in a small pocket of regular talking. It was extremely temporary, however, and the alternate universe quickly collapsed back onto the pocket, dragging the two back into the insanity.
Later on, Calvin and the MTM were sitting on top of the roof. Calvin was holding what looked like a crude lightning rod. Which was made out of tinker toys, I might add.
"Alright, this plan is sure to come through," Calvin said. "This is because I know that the process is true!"
"Please explain," MTM said.
"Just shoot a blast of electricity into the air," Calvin illustrated. "This will cause a good strike of pain!"
"This is getting stupid," MTM said.
"A bolt of lightning will come down and hit this lightning rod, to which I've named Cupid!"
MTM heaved a deep, exhausted sigh.
"Contained in that bolt of lighting will be a magnetic force holding the poetic force!" Calvin went on. "This will go on to develop the course! All of the energy will be drawn to the rod, and then we can go put it in a floor with sod!"
MTM paused.
"Why?" He asked.
"I meant shoot it up into the sky," Calvin growled. "This stupid universe made me say that."
"Well, go ahead and do it," MTM said. "Then you will receive a well deserved pat,"
Calvin rolled his eyes, and held the MTM up to the sky.
There was a pause, then a bolt of lightning shot out of the tip of the CD player, and into a cloud.
There was a pause as the cloud absorbed it, then shot it right back towards him and Calvin.
Calvin held the lightning rod up.
The bolt of electricity shot towards Calvin..... and missed him.
Calvin and the MTM watched as the lightning flew right past them, and struck a tree in the forest, nearby.
BOOM!!
Fortunately, it didn't catch the tree on fire, but it did leave a big black scar all the way up on it.
There was a pause.
"Darn," Calvin said.
"You have to admit this will make quite an interesting yarn," MTM said.
Later on, Calvin and MTM were standing near next to Brown's General Store. They were attempting to go through with their next plan, trying to ignore the various people walking by them, talking like they were in a Christmas card.
There was a young teenage couple sitting on the bench outside the store a few feet away from Calvin and the MTM, talking to each other, romantically. The irony is just blinding, here.
"Alright, here's an hunch," Calvin said. "One that I'm sure will deliver a punch. Since the energy is dense that a proper amount of heat would cause it to ignite. Once that happens all will be normal and we'll be done with this fight."
"Sounds right," MTM said. "I suppose you'd like me to set the light,"
"Please do," Calvin said. "This plan is sure to succeed,"
"Moo," MTM said.
Calvin stared at the CD player.
"What?" He asked.
"Nothing," MTM said. "Let us prepare the cut,"
Calvin aimed the MTM at the sky, again.
There was a pause, then, a blast of fire shot out of the tip of the CD player, and hurled towards the now cloudless sky.
Calvin and the MTM watched as it hit an invisible barrier in the air. The fire spread out across the blue sky, expanding outwards.
Calvin grinned.
"I... I think it's starting to work out!" He declared.
"I guess that means we have no more reason to pout," MTM said.
The two watched as the fire spread out across the sky, and hit the horizon. It then dissipated and vanished. Nobody noticed this, of course, Calvin living in the most unobservant town on the planet.
There was a pause, as Calvin and MTM looked around.
"Did we win?" Calvin asked, silently.
"I'm not sure," MTM said. "Hey look over there a can made of tin!"
"RRRRRRRRGH!!!" Calvin screamed, throwing his head back in frustration.
The couple sitting a few feet away looked over at him.
"What's wrong with him?" The girl asked.
"Well, he looks a bit dim," The boy said. "Shall we go see the movie, now, baby?"
"Maybe," The girl giggled.
And with that, the couple got up and left, leaving Calvin banging his head against the brick wall of Brown's General Store, still screaming, insanely.
Driven by an energy that comes only from near madness, Calvin got started on his next plan.
"OK, this is what I have in mind," Calvin said, him and MTM now standing at the base of Sneer Hill. "This has to get rid of this stupid universe."
"Hey, be kind!" MTM scolded.
"Oh no, kind stopped at four!" Calvin spat.
"Looks like it's annoying you right to the core," MTM sighed.
"If we can use your basic power drainer, then perhaps we can diminish the poetic energy so that we don't have to talk like this,"
"Well, let's just hope we don't miss," MTM said.
"Good, engage power drain," Calvin ordered. "And hurry, first chance you get!!"
"I don't think this is something we can fain." MTM said, following the directions.
There was a pause, then, a blue, electric dome covered the two.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!!
Electricity flew from all directions, coating the entire area around them in blue.
Calvin and the MTM watched, hopefully.
Then, there was a large gust of wind, and it vanished.
"There," MTM said. "The energy has been lowered seventy three times."
"Good," Calvin said. "Does that mean it worked?"
"Well, we'll know if the end of my sentence rhymes," MTM said.
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!!!" Calvin screamed, throwing his arms up in frustration.
"Maybe you should think this, through," MTM said. "Why don't you take a seat?"
"I can't believe this!!" Calvin moaned. "There has to be someway to stop this rhyming!! We have to get out of this abyss!!"
"Yeah, there is a way to stop it," MTM said. "Whenever we want, we can get out of this pit."
"Oh really, how might we do that?" Calvin demanded.
"Just watch me," MTM said. "And then I should get a well deserved pat."
MTM cleared his throat.
"Calvin, would you like an orange?" He said, casually.
Calvin glared at him.
"No, I do not want an orange!!" Calvin spat, angrily. "How can you be thinking about food at a time like this?!?"
MTM went to reply but Calvin cut him off.
"Here we are, stuck in this stupid universe where we're forced to have poetic conversations, and all you can think about is eating a stupid orange?!"
"Calvin...." MTM began.
"The rest of our lives, MTM!!" Calvin screamed. "We're gonna be living the rest of our lives talking like this!! You don't seem to be grasping the seriousness of the situation!! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!"
"Calvin, we're not rhyming, anymore." MTM said.
"That's no excuse, and stop arguing with me!" Calvin growled. "The point here is that our sanity is about to go down the toilet and here you are babbling on about fruit and vegetables!!"
"Are you done, yet?" MTM asked.
"No, I'm far from done!!" Calvin screamed at the top of his lungs. "I'm going to keep on complaining until I'm blue in the face!!"
"So... no, huh?" MTM said.
"You better believe 'no'!" Calvin growled. "I've got things I need to do! I can't spend the rest of my life rhyming!! How stupid is it to have a universe of poetic energy, anyway? What's the point? There is no point!! It's just one big stupid, nonsensical, feeble-minded, idiotic, maniacal...."
Suddenly Calvin paused. He thought back on what he had just said. None of it had rhymed.
"I.... I'm not rhyming, anymore," He said, looking around. "The poetic energy is gone!!"
"Yep, it is," MTM sighed, relieved that Calvin was finished.
"But.... but how?" Calvin questioned, dumbfounded.
"Nothing rhymes with orange," MTM said. "Don't ask me why. I'm not the guy who came up with all the words in the English language. I don't have that much time on my hands."
"When did you figure this out?" Calvin demanded.
"Hmmm?" MTM asked. "Oh, I knew right from the start. You can dissolve any kind of energy just by going against it."
There was a long moment of silence.
"You knew this and you didn't say anything?" Calvin demanded.
"What do I look like some kind of talking encyclopedia?" MTM demanded. "I wasn't going to waste my breath trying to explain it to you in rhyme. Besides, it was kind of fun just watching you go on ahead with your ideas,"
"I can't believe this," Calvin groaned. "We wasted all that time trying to get separated from this universe, and all we had to do was say the word orange?!"
"Well, that or silver," MTM said. "But I couldn't think of a way to get that into a sentence at the moment, so I went with orange."
"You're unbelievable," Calvin growled.
Later on, Hobbes was still up in Calvin's bedroom, reading a comic book, when suddenly the door burst open.
Hobbes looked up and saw an exhausted Calvin stumbling inside.
"Oh, hi, Calvin," He said, putting the comic book aside. "What's up?"
"I just finished closing up all the portals to the different realities," Calvin sighed, collapsing on his bed. "I'm done,"
"You are?" Hobbes asked. "How come?"
Calvin glared at him.
"Never mind," Hobbes said, looking away.
"The point is that I've identified just about all the universes in the void, around us, so I'm calling it a day, now."
"Did you learn anything of vital importance?" Hobbes asked.
"No,"
"I see. Well, it's always good to have something to do on boring days like this one. The whole day, and not one single interesting event."
"Oh, shut up!" Calvin spat, getting up from his bed. "You know nothing of interesting events! I'll have you know that you completely missed the fact that we were spliced together with another universe for over seven hours and were stuck talking in rhyme!"
"We were?" Hobbes asked.
"Yes, we were, Hobbes, and might I add that you're a terrible poet?"
Hobbes rolled his eyes.
There was a moment of silence.
"You wanna go watch TV for the rest of the day?" Calvin asked, suddenly.
"Sure," Hobbes shrugged. "I don't have anything better to do."
And with that, Calvin and Hobbes got off the bed, and went downstairs.
Roses are red, violets are violet. This story is done and I'm not even going to bother to try and make that rhyme.
The End
Voice work
Pamela Segal Adlon Calvin
Tom Hanks Hobbes
Ryan Stiles Socrates / boy
Andrew Lawrence Andy
Colin Mochire Sherman
Norman Lovett MTM
Jennifer Love Hewitt Mom / girl
Coming Up Next: Tales of a Tiger