Chapter 14
Gaius checks Merlin's pulse then says "he's dead".
The words hung in the air and she couldn't believe them. She repeated no and brought Merlin onto her lap. She cradled him and said it couldn't be. She screamed and every window in the mansion started to smash. She hasn't screamed like this since she thought Morgause was dead when they overthrew Camelot the first time. But this time it was Merlin, her Merlin was dead in her arms. The man she loved the man that damned destiny to be with her, the man she was destined to be with. Everyone was telling her to calm down and they were all trying to find cover from the smashing window.
She eventually listened to them and stopped screaming when the tears became too much. She placed Merlin on the floor, kissed his forehead and then placed her head on his chest. She continued to cry as everyone came back out. She placed her hand above his heart as she loved to feel his heartbeat, but this time there was none. No rhythm of life no trace of him.
She looked down and could see a dagger on the floor. She assumed that one of the knights must have dropped it. She picked it up and thought `see you in the next life' Merlin's last words to her. She pointed it towards her chest but before she could do anything Arthur grabbed her wrist and said "what are you doing?"
She held the dagger tight and through her tears she said "I can't live without him, I refuse to".
"Morgana, this isn't the way".
Morgana looks at Gwen and says "tell him what its like to live without the man you love".
Arthur looks as Gwen shakes her head and says "I can't".
He looks back at Morgana and says "Merlin wanted me to look after you and that's what I'm going to do".
She shakes her head and says "I can't. He was the light to my darkness, the only man I ever loved. I can't live without him".
"Morgana, just give me the dagger" she shakes her head "Merlin, wanted you to live do you really want to dishonour his last wish?"
She hesitates then says "if I do this then I'll see him again".
Arthur couldn't argue with that but he said "but that's not what he wants...please give me the dagger". She hesitated then dropped the dagger on the floor. Arthur quickly picked it up and passed it to Gwaine. Morgana rested her head on Merlin's chest and continued to cry.
After a few moments Morgause walked over to the other side of Merlin and kneeled down. Morgana saw her and said "get away form him" she didn't want anyone near him.
She said "I know how to help him".
She moved her head off his chest and looked her sister in the eye "how?" Morgause looks in her side bag and pull out the cup of life. Morgana smiles for the first time and says "the cup of life".
She takes it from Morgause and holds it in her hands. Arthur steps forwards and says "you can't use that".
"Why not?"
Gaius says "you know why Morgana. For a life to be saved a life must be taken".
"I don't care".
Arthur says "Merlin wouldn't want this".
"Then he can hate me can't he. He can hate me forever I just want him back
"He wouldn't want an innocent's life to be taken".
Without hesitation she said "then I'll take my life, as long as he lives I don't care what happens to me".
"Morgana, you are not dying do you hear me" he said forcefully "I wont allow it, your my sister. Besides Merlin would just wake up and use his life to save you".
"And that's where you stop him...a few weeks ago you all wanted me dead, you now have your wish". They all gave her an intense look and as Arthur shakes his head Morgause snatches the cup from Morgana "give it back" she says forcefully.
Morgause shakes her head then looks at Arthur and says "she wont be the one dying I will" she looks back to Morgana "it is my fault your love is dead, so I must be the one to pay the price".
Morgana shakes her head and says "sister you can't".
Morgause leans over Merlin's body and kisses Morgana forehead and says "remember one thing I love you sister". She looked at the cup and said "Tidrenas!" the cup filled with water then she smiled at Morgana one last time then said "Ic, seo heahacerd, be acwele strengbe ealdan aewfeastnesse" she then placed the water into his mouth.
Morgause starts to struggle to breath and Morgana makes her way in between Merlin and Morgause. She holds Morgause as she falls and Morgause says "forgive me".
Morgana nods rapidly and says "I love you sister".
Merlin shot up full of breath, full of life. He looks to his side to see Morgana holding a dying Morgause. Morgause looks at him and says "look after her" he nods and then she takes her last breath.
Morgana kisses her forehead then places her on the floor. She turns to Merlin and embraced him. She cries into his shoulder and says "you left me".
"I know and I'm sorry" she pulls her head away to look him in the eyes and he whips the tears away. She smiles and he says "there's the smile I asked for" he then kissed her.
That night they burned Mordred's body and Merlin and Morgana placed Morgause body in the lake of Avalon. Morgana just wanted it to be the two of them. No one beside her really knew Morgause but she didn't want Merlin out of her sight. They were going to wait till morning to give her a proper burial but Bradley said it was more dangerous and they could get caught. As Morgana set Morgause out in the boat, Merlin held her hand then her eyes turned gold and the boat set on fire. They stood there until it sunk and then left.
When they went back to the mansion they decided to go straight to bed. As they lay in bed Morgana had her head over his heart and wouldn't stop smiling. She was holding him tightly and he said "if you squeeze any harder I'm going to stop breathing".
She slapped him playfully and said "that's not funny. Besides I don't care I just want you in my arms forever".
He lifts her chin with his fingertips and says "you'll have me forever".
Morgana had told Merlin everything that happened while he was dead except the part where she almost killed herself. She hoped that no one would tell him. The cup of life mysteriously disappeared after they used it. They didn't know where it went as long as it was in good hands.
Downstairs everyone was having different drinks to calm there nerves. They all had a stressful day and felt sorry for Merlin and Morgana. If any of them had any doudts before about Morgana then they were all gone. They all felt sorry for Morgana especially Arthur.
He was in his study when Gwen walked in with a drink "I thought you might need one".
He smiled as she placed it on his desk "thank you".
"Arthur you need to stop beating yourself up over this".
"How can I? My sister was going to kill herself and I couldn't do anything".
"Don't mention that now Merlin's back, Morgana doesn't want him knowing. Besides you stopped her that's all you could do".
He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. He then looked at her and said "you never answered Morgana's request".
She narrowed her eyes and said "what request?"
He stood up and walked towards her. He held her hands in his as they smiled at each other and said "what was it like living without me?"
Her smiled quickly disappeared and she looked to the ground. She let go of his hands and said "I think I should be getting back".
She tried to move away from him but he wrapped an arm around her waist and said "please tell me".
She continued to look to the floor but stood facing him "it was like torture" he lifted her chin up with his fingertips "everyday I spent in that castle it only reminded me of you, everyday I spent in Camelot it reminded me of you...everyday I was alive".
He quickly had a worried expression on his face and quickly said "Gwen, how did you die?" tears started to stream down her face and he forcefully said "Guinevere".
She shook her head and said "I died of old age. I didn't kill my self I couldn't" he embraced her. "When ever I thought of it the Knights persuaded me not to. Percival and Leon were always there for me, even when Leon got married".
He pulled away and said "why didn't they tell me about it?"
"I made them swear to secrecy that they wouldn't tell a soul".
He placed his forehead on hers and said "you should have told me".
"I couldn't it hurt too much" he then kissed her.
AN: Did you really think I would kill Merlin permanently. This was always in my plan (evil grin) but I had to say it wasn't because I told some people there was defiantly going to be a wedding, so they would know that Merlin survives. Anyway if they did split up in my stories they would always reunite, I am a massive MERGANA shipper. This story has maybe two chapters left and the next chapter is the wedding. Please review