New Morning

Light fell into his face, slowly but insistently raising him into awareness.

Spencer grumbled at the disturbance, still half asleep as he buried his face in the pillow for protection. He didn't want to wake up; it was so warm and comfortable and perfect just as it was right now.

He snuggled closer to his pillow, ready to fall back asleep when…wait, what-? Only belatedly did he realize that said pillow was actually rather hard, and it was breathing.

With a start Spencer was awake, eyes snapping open to stare at the broad chest his head had just been resting on, then wandering up to the sleeping face attached. It all clicked back into place in the same second then: Seth, the amnesia, the troubling flashbacks, the attack back at the safe house, Seth getting hurt, the nightmare and then-

Oh. Oh, goodness. Had he really done that? Clung to the man in his panic, refusing to let him leave? What had happened to keeping a distance because he was just not sure of-

That question made him acutely aware that he was not only not keeping a distance, but that he was actually lying half on top of the older man and that there was a hand on the small of his back...

He sat up abruptly, his heart immediately starting to beat faster.

It wasn't a nice feeling to go back to being distressed, especially after waking up so relaxed, but he couldn't help it. Not just because remembering the events of the day before and his dire situation didn't cease to be distressing…but also because of the sleeping-in-the-same-bed-with-a-handsome-but-definitely-strange-on-so many-levels-guy.

Spencer gulped. Nightmare or not, and even if he was almost sure by now that Seth had only tried to help him and that they had probably once been close enough to warrant sleeping in the same bed-

No, actually that thought was only making it worse. No matter how familiar the man felt, or how honest he seemed in his affection…this was too soon, too much, too close.

He didn't know how to handle being so vulnerable in a situation with someone he didn't know how to trust and not knowing what they were expecting of hi- wait, what, handsome?

Had he really just thought that? Seriously? He shook his head harshly, startled by his own thoughts.

Seth stirred briefly in his sleep and Spencer froze, sitting extremely still as he stared down at the man like an alien species.

It left him with mixed feelings. His brain was still supplying information about reservations and risk factors and guns and poor impulse control but somehow it failed to really reach him the longer he just sat there and stared down at the man.

Maybe it was because Seth looked so…relaxed in his sleep, so little worrisome…There was slight stubble on his face from neglecting to shave. Spencer couldn't help but notice that the man did have very handsome features, especially when a tight and aggressive expression wasn't distracting from them. Surely with the right kind of smile put on…

He shook his head. Even the fleeting notion that this might be his lover was too much for him to even consciously think about right now.

Instead he focused on how peaceful and warm and safe he had felt just minutes ago. Safe feeling that there was someone there watching out for him, who would hold him and defend him from danger, from his own irrational fear…

Suddenly feeing slightly chilly he wrapped his arms around himself wishing back for his spot under the blanket and a more peaceful state of mind but at the same time disturbed by his own thoughts.

This wasn't right…he shouldn't be thinking like this, feeling like this. He couldn't even remember properly Seth.

But still…he remembered how terrified and ratted he had been before falling asleep. Seth had not only taken care of him, he'd made him feel safe, sheltered…despite everything else that he had done so far, that was practically all he had done for Spencer. And even if there was a physical relationship to be considered, it didn't look like Seth would push him into anything he didn't want. Would it really be so bad to just believe the man at this point, to just allow himself to feel safe with him?

Probably not. He'd already decided that yesterday, too. He was safe with Seth. He repeated the sentence in his head, just to internalize it. Good. There, a basis. At least that he wouldn't have to worry about then.

Which left him with the rest of his problems.

It was obvious that his memory wasn't about to come back, at least not fully. What was he supposed to do now? It had sounded yesterday like he would have almost nowhere to go if he wanted to go home, plus he would be lost there…but he couldn't just stay here in Mexico with Seth either could he?

Who knew what the man's plans were, where he was going to go, who he was going to meet. The thought of more dangerous criminals made him shudder with fear…He didn't think he could handle any more of that. He didn't want to be scared anymore.

The question was if that was even really an option seeing how he was at the moment. Surely the fear, the flashbacks and the nightmares wouldn't disappear just because he left? And at least Seth knew what he was afraid of…

Slowly, and very carefully he got out of bed, mindful not to wake Seth as he slipped into the bathroom and washed up as quietly as possible.

The look into the mirror wasn't exactly moralizing. He still looked awful. His pants were a mess and the shirt, while relatively clean was simply too big on him; his skin was still wildly colored…but at least he was physically feeling better. Not as weak or feverish as before. Hungry maybe. When was the last time he had eaten something? He couldn't remember. Of course not.

Better get something. Seth will need something too with all that blood loss.

He hesitated for a moment, deliberating whether to wake the man and tell him where he was going. He decided against it. He needed another moment to himself to think and Seth could probably use all the rest he could get after being shot. After rummaging through the pockets of his jeans, he found some crumpled up bills. It wasn't much but he figured it would be enough to organize some sort of breakfast.

He walked back into the main room to find Seth still asleep. For a moment he just stood next to the bed then, glancing around the room which was dimly lit only by a sliver of light that was falling through a crack in the curtains onto the bed. He looked over Seth's still form, then the gun on the nightstand next to him.

Suddenly he felt oddly nervous, an odd feeling in his gut. It felt safe in here…did he really want to leave the room and risk-

He shook his head, annoyed with himself. Risk what? Carlos and the others hadn't found them or they would have barged in here during the night. And there was no other danger anymore, Seth had told him that.

Right. It was time to get himself together now. It wasn't night anymore, it was broad daylight out there and this was a normal motel without any thugs hanging around and he was just going to buy some sandwiches. If he couldn't do that he wouldn't even have to think about travelling all the way back to the states by himself.

Strengthening his resolve, he walked over to the door and opened it quietly, unable to resist checking if all was clear before slipping outside and walking down the hallway and out of the first exit he found. As expected it was a bright warm day, the sun shining down on the motel's parking lot with burning intensity.

He shielded his eyes at its brightness but didn't move, absorbing the feeling of heat with welcome. It did make him feel better in a way, helping him to focus less on the feeling of unease that he still wasn't fully able to shake.

Maybe you just need to give it some time…after all yesterday isn't that long ago yet.

Right. Slowly he made his way across the parking lot to a place from where he could see the road. There wasn't much to see, still just desert and a few cars, the motel and a little gas station about fifty feet away. No people around in the heat of the day.

He began walking in the direction of the gas station, feeling a little better with every step. Going into the gas station was hard for some reason he wasn't quite sure about, but his heart was definitely beating faster, worse even as he felt the clerk's eyes on him. He ducked his head, ignoring the look…Of course he's staring; you look like you've lost a boxing match.

Quickly he picked up some bottled water and then looked over the available sandwiches, again lost for a moment. Great, I don't even know if I'm a vegetarian, he though sullenly. He picked up one of the plastic wrapped sandwiches which apparently had turkey on it and stared at it as if that would help him remember his eating habits.

His heart jumped when there was something, suddenly, flashing across his mind…

A man around thirty, dark hair and thick glasses…he was sitting across the motel room from him, eating a sandwich, not bothering to close his mouth while he chewed.

'You're a doctor, right?... Seth and his silly morality tick…I don't think you're innocent. ..Are you going to get us into trouble?'

Spencer gasped as he was assaulted by images of being pushed to the ground, a knife glinting in the sunlight… He swayed, blindly grabbing the shelf to steady himself.

"Hey!"

His heart all but jumped out of his chest when suddenly someone grabbed his shoulder from behind.

Cliffhanger :D

Who is it?

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