Old friends

A/N This is the second to last chapter of this story :-( but the prequel( will be classed as an Avengers fanfic) called 'The wisdom of a foolish girl in love' ( or something like that anyway) will be up soon! I'm so excited! I'm also excited about Age of Ultron, is everybody else? Ssh, I haven't seen it yet no spoilers please! Wow, sorry, I'm going on a bit here. Well, enjoy! ( I will be quite now :-D)

Lena pauses outside the house. She takes a deep breath, and prepares what she is going to say in her head. How to explain her nearly two year absence from his life. How to explain how she died and ended up back on his doorstep. How to explain that he needs to keep this a secret, how she doesn't want to go back to the Avengers.

Her fingers drum the space of wall beside the buzzer. She can't bring herself to do this. It took her three times alone to even get up the garden path. Just seeing the postbox with the name Barton painted on in fresh green paint( this house is new for Clint, he's moved out of New York only recently,) just makes her stomach curl in on itself and then she feels sick to the core.

She's been standing on the fading door mat for around 15 minutes, trying to figure out why she feels this way. She left him, and she feels guilty. But she left him because he felt guilty. This whole thing is such a complicated mess.

Part of her is saying 'it's Clint, he'll be fine! He trusts you no matter what, he told you that, many many times.'. When that half is dominant, she has no trouble. She lifts her hand again from where it's dropped to rest by her side again and prepares to push the buzzer.

But then another part of her whistles in her ear. Saying, 'you left him, he probably never wants to see you again. He's moved on from his old friend. Don't take the chance of him not wanting your friendship, or your explanation, just run away and don't look back.'. So she lets her arm go back by her side, and turns round to slide down the wall. Lena tucks up her knees to her chest, hugging her knees and rocking gently, unable to stop he silent tears flowing.

Clint wouldn't cast her out would he? 'You cast him out first.' Says the unhelpful voice in her head. 'All those phone calls you never replied to. Texts. Letters. Emails.'

"Shut up!" Lena tells herself, out loud but softly. "Shut up shut up shut up."

Using the last of her strength, physical and emotional, Lena stands up. She lifts her arm, once to wipe away the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand, twice to rest her finger on the buzzer.

She really hopes he is in.

Then she presses it.

She hears the notice echo through the house, and begins to panic when the door isn't immediately thrown open. Then she reminds herself, he could be busy. Clint generally always is.

All emotional strength gone, she begins to cry, softly, trying to be quiet.

When the door opens, all the barriers she threw up at the beginning of this trip disappear. She looks at Clint, who stands shell shocked in the doorway. He doesn't move, still as a statue, his mouth open slightly.

"Clint, I'm.. I'm so sorry." Lena chokes on her words, crying faster, sobbing. She turns her head down. "Sorry. Bye..."

She doesn't even have time to think of Plan B when she is pulled against a strong chest, arms around her.

Lena laughs slightly, hugging Clint. She sniffles. "Oh Clint, I'm so sorry."

"Ssh." He says. "It's okay. You're here now. I'm here."

She doesn't know how long they stand there, friends again, then she doesn't care. She loves Clint, although not in the way she loves Charles. Clint is her best friend, and there has to be some love in that doesn't there?

Clint gives her a steaming mug. She glances inside, checking its contents. He laughs.

"Still don't trust my tea making skills then?"

"Of course not. You've been drinking coffee your whole life, you don't understand how we British like our tea." Clint laughs again.

"I got the milk right though?" She sips it to test, then nods.

"Yes."

They both laugh. Then Clint put his head on an angle, questioning her with his look, the look that gave him the name Hawkeye. This makes her smile more, and he looks confused.

"What?" She shakes her head, laughing.

"Nothing." He raises his eyebrows, but doesn't reply. "I suppose I have to explain a few things." He nods slowly.

"Don't say anything yet if you don't want to. You're tired. And hungry probably."

"Okay, but I'm going to tell you anyway. I don't think I can wait any longer. You don't know how long it took me to ring the doorbell."

"I do." He say, looking slightly amused. In reply to her confused frown, he says, "they don't call me Hawkeye for nothing you know." And taps his nose with his first finger. She smiles, and hits him lightly. He grins.

So she tells him everything.

About going to her parents' boring department store for two years and stacking shelves.

Deserting the store at the first chance and leaving with Charles Xavier.

Meeting another group of mutants, and training.

Fighting Shaw and dying.

She leaves out the bit about falling in love for now.

Clint raises his eyebrows when she says she came back to life.

"I would have though defying death was something beyond even you." She smiles, almost sadly, into her cup of tea, which tries it's best to understand.

"Never underestimate Eleanor Richards." Clint notices her pointed use of Richards. She's left behind Laufeyson, except on official documents, so maybe he should too. Stop feeling guilty about something he deep down know wasn't his fault.

There's a question he needs to know the answer to though.

"Why did you leave then, once you were resurrected? Couldn't you just have explained to your friends?"

Ah. Lena hoped he wouldn't ask that, but she shouldn't have doubted Clint, who never misses a beat. Well, here goes nothing.

"I'm.. I'm pregnant." Clint's mouth drops open. That was not what he was expecting. He tired to speak, but finds it difficult. She smiles ruefully.

"Who?" Clint manages at last. Lena clenches the handle of the mug so tightly her knuckles turn white.

"Charles Xavier. I.. I was in love with him."

"Honestly? Honestly in love?" This isn't the first time Clint has asked her this question, and the memory brings pain for both of them. They wince.

"Yes. More than before. I loved him more than anything." Clint stands and hugs her again, as she's crying again. What a peculiar day.

"Well, that's okay. It's okay. But boy, do you have a knack of falling in love with the wrong people. But it's okay. I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

Lena nods.

"Okay. If that's okay with you. I'd like to stay with you. Just remember, I'm meant to be dead. And I'd like to stay that way, even with the other Avengers."

"Of course. Sometimes being dead is easier. Nobody gives you any crap when you are dead."

Lena laughs softly into Clint's shoulder.

"No, no they don't."