The Dragon Age world, plot, and their characters aren't mine but belong to Bioware. Some characters may be my creations. I get no money for writing this sequel.

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Denerim, the Arldom of Amaranthine guest quarters

Anders:

The formal suite echoed around me with the silence of Hawke's departure.

That was foolish, mage.

I figured that out on my own.

Since we are one, of course we identified that there was a problem.

You're not helping.

The disapproval from Justice made me want to justif... explain.

I always managed to have fun, even while running away from Templars here in Ferelden. Strapping farm lads, wenches at small inns, even the brothels in larger towns. There they don't care where you're from, only if you leave everyone happy. Made me happy too. I wanted have that with Hawke. But...

That is not the problem.

No, it wasn't. Hawke was amused when I teased Templars and travelers. The pit hissing in my stomach knew she wasn't amused now.

I remembered her harsh gaze after the other two left us and it wasn't annoyance, it was a simmering fury. Underneath that? Was there anything under that?

This felt like that night in the Planasene. She told me I was free to go then, too. Did she want me to go? This time I couldn't follow her. I had to wait and hope she'd be willing to talk when she came back. I refused to think about the alternative.

I needed to fix this, I didn't want to lose Hawke even if a small part of me was angry she ruined my evening plans.

Now the silence echoed within.

The silence of when Justice disapproved. He didn't say anything even as I sat on the bed, looking out the open window and hearing the faint sounds of the Denerim street.

Hawke had not gone out like this in a very long time, not since we were hunting for Haven. Now she was out in a city full of people who wanted her dead. They wanted me dead more.

Despite the open window and summer air in our room, I felt trapped. A movement over by the window caught my eye, but it was only Ser Mew stretching and settling back on the shelf to sleep.

I heard scratching at the door and a demanding bark. I was reluctant to open the door, but didn't want Paws fetching someone to let him in. The graying mabari glared at me and circled the room. When he reached the window, he growled at me where I stood by the still-open door. That tense moment he stared at me, and I considered baring my throat to him. He had no bias, no hatred of mages.

"I love her, Ser Paws, but I..." Any excuse I made would not convince a mabari. "She'll be back for you, at least."

He considered me and circled to rest beside the window.

I thought for a little while, and then washed my face with water I warmed. My disguise looked stained and sad, no matter how bright the fabrics. It was the opposite of the armor we made while Vengeance was our curse.

Over and over I kept returning to my Hawke stripping off her dress in angry jerks when we got back here. She strapped her under-padding on and her dark, bluish leather on top of that. With only a pause, she went over the railing at the window. I heard no thud that she slipped when she exited.

When I went to the window hoping for some glimpse of Hawke, lamps and torches scattered through the darkened streets. I didn't see anyone moving through the street while I watched.

Turning back into our room, I lit the pair of small lamps. I saw a glint of metal not very far from where Paws was dozing.

I bent over to pick it up and had to control my breath. It was Hawke's earring that I gave to her in the Marches last autumn while we were fleeing Kirkwall. My earring was still in my ear.

Was this an accident or had Dera dropped it deliberately? I wasn't even her husband for a week. I dropped to sit on the bed, gripping her earring until it pierced the skin, praying it was a mistake... or a nightmare.

What did I do wrong?

Only silence.

You know!

You know as much as I do, if you could focus.

I wiped my eyes. Everything seemed fine before we were summoned down to the study. She bounced through the halls, and I knew she was looking forward to leaving any future Warden consequences for Trinna to deal with.

I was too, but I wanted to seduce Dera in plain sight, an old thrill dating back to Kinloch. It was one of the few I enjoyed there. Sneaking around, enjoying ourselves in right in front of Sisters, other mages, and even Templars. We got more prestige among other mages when we flouted Templar rules. During a lecture was a bigger win, even better was the rumored times Templar trainees could be enticed to join in. That was the fun part of magic, small magic released that made large effects.

I bet myself that I could get them, get them involved in something much more fun than a lecture.

Sneaking was a bigger thrill too.

Hawke enjoyed sneaking. We'd spent much of the celebration at the Vigil either kissing, or nestled against each other, lazily enjoying the party.

Today, the ex-Templar was completely oblivious to what we were doing during his lecture. He didn't notice how his caramel eyes had gotten a little glassy and how Trinna wasn't really listening to him as her full lips trembled.

Hawke wasn't listening either. Her kisses were intoxicating and I let another wave of magic free, barely guiding it as we kissed.

Even from memory, my breath was shortening, feeling Dera against me again until she made a surprised noise in my memory.

Focus!

This isn't the clinic anymore. I can dream about my wife!

Do you want to do more than dream?

That brought my fears crashing back. I looked at Hawke's earring. What had I done? She was in a good mood earlier, and Attryne and Alistair hadn't been angry about our killing Corypheus.

Cousland and Alistair would be fun. I'd admired her even before my Joining and Alistair was very attractive, aside from that ex-Templar part. My spell didn't do that much, not as much as I hoped. They had eyes for each other as he carried Trinna away. They didn't get that far away.

It would have been fun.

I remembered others being embarrassed when I was younger. I was sure I could charm Hawke out of that. I hadn't lost my touch.

Justice's continuing silence was a familiar disapproval

What?

To enslave another creature does not seem just.

What? Wait, you said that when... Ser Mew isn't a slave! No more than Ser Pounce was!

You are perverted by your desires now. This is not about the small mortals.

Of course I desire my wife, that's part of being free and married.

You have an obligation to a wife and the Commander. Taking their choice with magic is not just.

Hawke got angry about the spell? I used it many times on her before, even if we didn't need it. I'd used that spell many times with others, too. Everyone loved it.

Justice lapsed into silence again. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was when I first Joined. Minus the Architect and with all the Hawke I wanted. Instead my thoughts kept circling around, touching on Hawke, Kinloch and the Pearl, the other Wardens, having fun, and Hawke getting upset about magic. She liked magic.

When I looked out the window, the faintest light of dawn was on the horizon. Paws was snoring.

Then I really began to worry about Hawke's safety, too. I knew her family avoided Templar strongholds while her father lived, so she had few friends or allies here.

At dawn, Hawke came back in the room from the hallway and I rushed over, stopping just before we touched.

She looked at me, her face without expression, and rubbed her arms.

"I'm sorry, Hawke." I really wasn't sure why she was upset, but I could say honestly that I was sorry she was. Anything else and Justice would comment.

Dera dropped tiredly on the fine armchair and it creaked, her eyes looking strained. "I had to get out, Anders. Or else I would have hit you until you bled. Or I would have curled into a ball and cried for a week."

Kneeling in front of her, but barely touching, I swallowed so hard it hurt. "I didn't mean to hurt you, love. I don't understand."

With a light touch, Dera ghosted her fingers through my hair.

She didn't lean any closer and I swayed closer with wanting to hold her.

"I know that, honey, but that doesn't make it much easier. It's a lot of things all together."

Grabbing onto my hope, I put my head in her lap and arms around her. I made a painful promise in a quiet voice. "I won't do magic again, Hawke. Never outside battle or healing." Giving up magic sometimes would be far easier than giving up Hawke, though I was afraid of Justice's opinion.

"It isn't quite that, Anders. It's part of you, but..." Her fingers tangled in my hair, but gently, and I moved my head under her fingers.

Finally she spoke. "This has little to do with magic. You used trickery and magic to get something without consent. You didn't ask them, you didn't ask me, if we wanted it at all. It's like someone getting a cute villager drunk so they simply cannot say no. It's like an armored thug raping a girl with a knife at her throat or while she sleeps. This isn't the Rose where everyone is there to have fun. You didn't give any of us warning or ask permission."

"Alrik wanted to have fun, not give Ella any choice. It was hard to believe you could do that to anyone." Dera sounded like she was looking away.

Convulsively tightening my arms, I wanted to howl,'No!'. Finally, I whispered, "I wanted everyone to have fun, not control you. It isn't blood magic... really. I don't want to be like that...I..." I felt ill now.

Hawke lifted my face up. "You aren't cruel, but you are impulsive, honey. And you must be a little more explicit about what you want to do. I won't stand in your way if you need something." Her tone of voice warned me of more.

"But you aren't interested in those games, are you, Hawke?"

Her face fell, losing the stiff blankness and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I don't want anyone else. But you do, and that hurts more than anything else."

"No, love! I will always want you." My throat hurt seeing Hawke like this. How could I explain it? "I want to share the best things in my life with you, love. I brought you too many dark things and I want to give you the best I can."

"They're good in bed?" Her face was confused.

That made me smile a little. "No, or, I don't know, Hawke. I like Trinna, and trust her judgment. Alistair is usually decent enough. They are handsome and far too sympathetic to be nobles and Wardens. They should be good."

Hawke sighed and gave me a weak smile. "You're more than enough, Anders, even if you've been different since we returned here."

Feeling better, I carefully pulled her forward and down and into my lap on the floor. I thought she was a little stiff, but she relaxed a little. "I want to be the mage I was at the Vigil again. Working hard, but playing harder." I paused, still afraid with how fragile this was. "Were you returning your earring?"

Hawke touched her damaged earlobe and sounded shocked. "No, I thought it was still there."

"You weren't ending our marriage?" That handful of words felt like they were ripped from my heart.

Dera stiffened. "I wanted to hit you for being stupid and had to get out. We won't be safe if you use magic to influence others. I hated Idunna and that damn knife. You could have made enemies of two of the most powerful people in Ferelden, just to amuse yourself."

"I won't use it on others, love." I took a careful breath, worried about saying the wrong thing in this fragile peace. Scrambling for a less heavy topic, I said, "We should let the lobe toughen for a day or so before we redo it." I shimmied against her. "Forgive me?"

"Always, but sometimes it's a little slower than others."

Sliding my fingers along edge of her armor, I pulled her closer. "I thought you might have been angry about company."

"That didn't help either."

"That was part of sex outside the Circle and even more in Kinloch. Every tryst had the danger of being caught, but it was one thing they couldn't completely control. Any time with you would have been worth the risk, Dera."

Hawke's finger traced my jawline lightly enough that she only disturbed my stubble. The bubble of pain began to dissolve, thank Andraste.

"You are far too clothed, my Champion." I started to help remove the armor in my way. Hawke pouted that I had less to remove until it didn't matter.

A rapping at the door made me realize that it was already late afternoon. The door opened, and Warden Tabris stepped in before we untangled from the sheets. "The Commander is expecting you to appear in a quarter-hour to finish your report. I will be assembling the messages to leave tomorrow. Do you understand, Wardens?"

His voice was caustic.

Hawke sat up a little. "I may not remember it very well, but aren't Landsmeets usually finished by now? It's Solace... maybe August already."

"The entertainment has thinned for the Commander. The longest was a dozen weeks in what records have remained, but that was another age when Marlak the Elder sought the Banns' approval for a larger navy. This is the longest since the Storm age." Tabris looked tired.

I asked, even if I suspected. "Why haven't they finished?"

He looked at me as if I was stupid. "The mage-Templar war, of course. All at Landsmeet and many who can't get in, want their say: to confirm the Templars' rights or stay out of it completely. The ambassadors all want support for their own wars, or at least no interference. Some want to cede more authority to the Templars, much like what the Wardens officially have for the Blight but more sweeping and permanent.

"The queen refuses to cede her authority to any group that is not loyal to her first. You cannot be found here, mage." He smiled with irony. "What does it say when a Tevinter general is the most reasonable ambassador at Landsmeet?"

"If I learned anything in Kirkwall, it is that squabbling will be usually be ended by things getting worse." Hawke's frowned. "We'll finish our report and get out of the city."

I smiled. I wasn't looking for trouble. The Warden was trained for politics by her father.

We washed quickly and returned to the study in our uniforms.

There were no seats in front of the desk this time.

Cousland was in full uniform this time and seated. A glaring Alistair stood to her right and behind her, and Tabris was seated with a pile of papers and quills.

I was going to be dressed down again, but it shouldn't hurt as much. It was only Wardens.

"This time, Wardens, I will get that full and complete report. One without any of your Void-blasted games, mage." Her tone was clipped, and what she rarely addressed to me.

This time I narrated those events in a more concise manner. We covered the tainted Magister of the old Imperium and how those Marcher Wardens thought to profit. It was hard for me to describe the visions and auditory hallucinations, and we had more trouble admitting how badly Justice was affected. Hawke took over the report with a reassuring hand squeeze.

Hawke brought out the records we'd scavenged and I finished the sketches and maps I'd started yesterday. There really wasn't that much for Alistair to criticize unless you agreed that keeping a Darkspawn alive had a purpose. I wasn't sure they agreed with our theory that this... laboratory was where the Fade had been breached.

That was more like a research study if Corypheus was dead.

That would also make for a book to rival one of Genetivi's. For the first time, I was glad it was going to be recorded by Varric instead of that Chantry scholar.

After we answered questions, sketched, described Larius, and displayed the ancient Warden armor until I was drained, my stomach rumbled from my hunger. Hawke kept shifting her stance slightly.

The deep silence otherwise stretched out as Tabris took the stack of notes and parchments away.

Finally, I couldn't stand the delay and hearing Hawke's stomach rumble again. "Trinna, look, Hawke didn't know..."

"Commander," Alistair insisted with a snap to his voice. "This is at least the second time he tried to shield her from acts you both did. What makes you think we'll believe you a second time?"

"Because thinking with my balls makes me many kinds of stupid?" I couldn't even fake a smile.

"How much control do you have over your magic, Anders?" the Commander shot out.

I hung my head as that worried me sometimes. "Usually complete control. Justice can take control if I am hurt, sleeping, he's training or angry enough, or we go to the Fade through magic. He panicked at that Vimmark prison. But other than that..."

Listed like that, I wasn't in control of my magic far too often.

She still had an edge to her voice. "Do you have control when you are intimate like that? Did you deliberately cast that spell, or is there some kind of lust demon involved in that blasted scene?

I looked at Hawke, and bit my lip. What I saw showed her unhappiness too. "I had complete control over my magic and cast that spell to make it more fun. Nothing more complex."

Alistair leaned forward. "Your spirit didn't decide to cast the spell on us; he didn't even suggest it?"

I had to laugh, even if it wasn't funny at all. "Justice doesn't approve of distractions like sex. He almost kind of sulks away for a while and I can be just Anders again."

Justice knew this, like I remembered some arguments by him.

Attryne frowned for a moment and then relaxed.

I had to convince them. "He doesn't think much of some spells I have. His abilities in the Fade were more fluid and direct. He can't heal and would prefer if I was more a war mage with a blade instead of staff."

"Really?" Alistair sounded more like a snobby Orlesian skeptic.

Stepping toward the door, I admitted my shame. "He's still skillful even using a mage's body if you want to see. I'm just not very comfortable with it."

"When we finish here, Wardens," Cousland interrupted. "Alright, Anders. So how often you get off is evidence that you aren't becoming a bat-shit crazy abomination?"

Our later days before the battle at the Gallows had been sex-free because of Vengeance's plans. "I guess so, Commander."

Then I saw Hawke's face fall, and after the fight last night I reviewed what was just said. I grabbed her hands. "Love, it's not that. Even after the Deep Roads expedition, your company was all I needed. Maker, if I wanted to use you like that, it would not have been three years of waiting when I had friends like Isabela and the workers at the Rose."

I heard a whisper of, 'Three years?' from behind me.

Hawke smiled slightly. "When we were at the base of that prison tower, Justice warned us before he reached a crisis. They weren't that effective either when they acted. They were fighting it, and that is all you can ask." She turned and gave the Commander a hard look and a longer glare at Alistair. "I assassinated the man I loved. I promised him after Kirkwall I would not let him become a threat like that... lose himself like that, again. The Joining oath means a bit less, though I will honor it."

Alistair wasn't happy, but the Commander didn't object.

My smile felt crooked and I hugged her close. "I love you, Dera."

A cough came from Trinna. "Now that the mushy stuff is over. I'd like to see if Justice really can still fight."

"I discourage the mage from falsehoods. We made attempts last winter at sparring, but our body lacks the conditioning for endurance, against even Hawke."

The Templar looked doubtful.

The Commander led us into the lower levels into an armory.

The Templar looked at us with an expected superior smile while we selected a great sword. "You stand differently."

I took a stance once I adjusted to the blade. The mage was gleeful when the Commander called the start.

Ignoring the shield starting to come forward to smash into the frailer mage's body, I used the smite on him before it hit us.

The mage wanted us to laugh.

Knocking the shield aside from the dazed Templar, it clattered against the stone. I forced his blade and arm down with a small crack as he shook his head. His grip held firm through his pain, but I said, "Yield or die."

He let go his blade with a wide-eyed expression that wasn't anger or fear. His brow creased in some kind of thought. "You are not a mage."

"I am Justice. The blade is my weapon."

"Fine. Be that way. You really aren't any fun to spar with." Alistair pouted through wet eyes.

I'd swear to it, the warrior was pouting. I heard a muffled snicker behind me, but didn't turn to look. "Justice is not that good at the sparring concept. That's why we stopped."

My muscles had been strained and I could feel his annoyance that we had not trained as we'd planned last winter. A bit of healing healed most of the fracture.

Cousland said, "That was always nice about Anders. Morrigan didn't do much healing and Wynne thought a little pain builds character."

"Have you heard from her? I'd really like to talk to her." I wondered how many mages with spirits were like us or like her?

"Last summer, she was planning to go to Orlais. She'd spent years in Cumberland, but Orlais is getting unstable and she might think it a better idea to go there and help." Cousland's arms were crossed.

Hawke sighed. "I don't think Orlais is a good idea for us."

"I wish I could help here, Trinna." My appearing there would probably tip the Landsmeet against mages.

One of the Silver Order guards reminded them of an event and the Commander told us, "Stay out of sight, and I'd prefer you get away from Denerim after I send out the reports. Cleared of names, of course. By the time other Commanders ask for details, I can decide which names to use. Do you think this Varric would be willing to be helpful?"

Hawke laughed. "A little, as long as you tell him some stories of events he didn't see. He won't stop writing the blighted things and his stories may be annoying in many ways, but he's a good friend in every other way."

They left for some Landsmeet gathering. Tabris went too, leaving only the Silver Order and servants who didn't know us other than as Brana and Heysal.

The next morning, a pounding came against our door mid-morning. Hawke and I blinked sleep out of our eyes.

Like yesterday, it was the elven Warden, Tabris. But this time, he wasn't full of contempt. "The Commander wants you in her study. The Qunari have taken Kirkwall."

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A/N: Thanks to my beta reader who has been kind enough to read this and point out stupid flubs. Any typos that remain are not intentional... Reviews or a PM to let me know what you think would be very appreciated.