"What do you feel like eating?"

"Oh I don't know… Everything disgusts me" Remy was drying her hair with a towel, shivering. The low fever she had was a normal side effect. "Maybe some fruit juice"

"A juice it is! And I'll bring some snacks too, you'll see which one is tempting you… Do you need anything else?"

"Yeah, hum, I need…" Remy looked down her belly, indicating she needed girl things. She wasn't embarrassed. Allison was also a woman and after last night she could have asked anything. She was nauseous and the less she talked about bleeding the best she was feeling.

Allison nodded and promised to be back quickly. Remy assured her friend that she was feeling better. The pain in her stomach was still present but much tolerable. She just felt very tired.

When Allison came back, she found Remy sound asleep under the sheets. She decided to let her rest and watch some television in the meanwhile. She had also some paperwork that she could work on. She hoped they would leave this motel soon. She smiled alone thinking about how weird has been Remy's choice to book a room in such a cold and impersonal place. But on another hand, it wasn't that surprising. The brunette didn't want to break down. What was the better way to control her feelings than being in a neutral and unwelcoming atmosphere?

After about an hour, the young woman stretched next to her. Of course, it caused her abdominal pain and she soon regretted it.

"Hey" Cameron softly announced her presence.

"Hmm how long have you been back?" Remy couldn't open her eyes.

"Go back to sleep if you want"

"No, no.. I have to get up" Thirteen assured but didn't move.

"You're weak and have to rest now, don't fight against it" She placed her hand on Remy's forehead and frowned, noticing the fever had risen. "Just eat something, right?"

Remy shook her head.

Allison grabbed her doctor bag and look for a thermometer and a blood pressure monitor. Remy winked. "Are you fucking serious?"

"I just want to make sure you're.."

"I'm fine I told you. You know the side effects so don't.."

"Please. I just … I'll be done in no time"

Remy didn't judge it necessary but knowing Allison wouldn't give up so easily and will surely feel reassured after that, accepted.

"101.1" She established.

"Well, It won't kill me then"

"Give me your arm"

"Cam please…"

"Geez Rem, stop moving!" Remy was now staring the roof and waiting for Allison's verdict.

"86/53. You have hypotension Remy."

"This is because I haven't eaten for 3 days, it's normal don't…"

"You what ?"

"Hey, don't preach, I told you yesterday I haven't been eating much!"

"Well, there's a difference between not eating and not eating much. You're a doctor too, what were you thinking?"

"Stop it! I wasn't hungry. Since I took the first pill I felt queasy. Don't worry when I feel good I eat twice more as you do"

Allison had to admit it was true. She had never seen a girl being hungry every 30 minutes like Remy.

"Well, at least, try to eat something now, ok?"

"I'm cold and I just want to sleep, please"

"My god you're the worst patient I've never had" Allison handed her the fresh fruit juice she bought earlier. "Here. Begin with that"

Remy took a sip and licked her lips. "Since I was little I've only had fruit juice when I was sick. Which, I now know is not the best idea, but it's the only thing I can manage to swallow"

Allison grinned. "We're gonna buy boxes of fresh fruits then"

Remy smiled back "And you don't eat?"

"I've had breakfast when I went out this morning. Rem, do I have to be the grouchy girl in here or would you please uncover yourself and allow the fever to reduce?"

Remy yawned and lay on her back of course not obeying

"Hey hey wait.. here.. Take this". She placed a pill on Remy's hand, who took it with another sip of fruit juice, before closing her eyes again.

Allison waited for Remy to sleep before taking the blanket off Remy's body. She placed a cool towel on her friend's neck. Of course she felt remorse while the brunette was shivering with cold but she was acting for her well-being. And soon the pill would also help to reduce the pain and fever so Remy would feel better soon.

When Allison's phone rang, Remy opened her eyes. Allison had gone in the corridor trying to be noisy but she found the brunette leaned against the wall behind the bed.

"Did I wake you up?"

Remy yawned "I don't know why I can't wake up today"

"Because you're human and after what you did extreme tiredness is perfectly normal. and don't try to move or I may use the force to stop you"

"Listen, if you have to go somewhere I mean… I am feeling better now, you don't have to stay here locked up with me. Do whatever you have to do, really"

"I was thinking… do you plan to stay here, in this room for long? What would you think if, and I've said "if", you don't need to get mad, if we moved to your place or mine?

Remy's face tensed. "Oh"

"I'm not sure, but I think I guess why you wanna stay here… but soon or later you'll have to come back in the world. The more you wait, the most it'll be hard then. Let's just go home. And don't tell me you're comfortable here because you'll be much better in a cosy place… I … I won't leave you. Do not worry"

"I don't like it. The way I believe you. When you say it's gonna be ok. I don't like it. What if… you're wrong?"

"Well, what if.. I'm right?

They left the motel in the early night. Remy was nervous but still locking everything in. They went to Allison's place. They decided to watch a movie… but Remy was distracted and Allison worried. As Remy was still feeling very tired, she decided to take a nap on Allison's bed. But five minutes after she was back on the sofa.

"Can't you sleep?"

"No… I think I'm not tired anymore"

Allison knew Remy wasn't telling the truth. She decided now was the good time to talk about herself and so, distract Remy from her fears.

"I was 18" Allison began.

Thirteen turn her head and gave a thankful look. She came closer and sat on the couch, leaning her legs on the coffee table, frowning a little when she lifted her legs because of the abdominal pain. Once she was settled, Cameron continued.

"It was my first boyfriend. I mean, the first I was in love with" she smiled at the memory. I loved him and you know sometimes… you don't think about… precaution… you're young and.. caught in the moment… well… the tipical cliché…. When I told him I was pregnant… he's been the best…. We decided together it wasn't time to have a baby. And judge me if you want, I don't care. So many people did it… I was already… kind of caring and.. labelled as the nicest one blablablaaah.. so… you can imagine the gossip "the nice girls aborts" but you know… I don't regret it. I'm not sad about it. I almost never think about it. And for the abortion, I did it the same way that you did. I admit I wasn't prepared… I think young girls shouldn't chose this method.. even if I wasn't alone… he was with me…

"What was his name?" Thirteen shyly asked.

"Ervin. His name was Erwin. He was blond, just like Chase »

They both laughed, not knowing why the other was laughing at.

"Anyway, even though he was with me… I was really shocked to see all this blood. And.. you know.. Even if you can't see anything, in your head it's kind of hard… you feel disgusting and such an horrible person and… anyway.. you know what I mean. I swear you that for two months I couldn't shower without feeling the most awful person in this earth. I felt better in less than a year I guess…. When you're 18, you've got so much to deal with and no time to… stop and think…. Now… I am perfectly fine with it"

"and with Erwin?"

"I broke up with him. After the abort… I… we were too… It didn't feel right to be with him anymore…"

"Thanks for having shared this with me"

"Well thank you for listening. My point is…. The awful feeling you're absolutely trying to avoid… I know it…. And…. It's a wrong one…. A very very very wrong one. You didn't do anything bad… you.. haven't Rem…"

"I feel just like you said. So much going on and.. no time to learn dealing"

"I think you're doing great"

Thirteen gazed at her friend

"Yeah… I mean… nobody is feeling what you're going through. You're allowed to.. I don't know… I just think you're fighting.. And there's no good way to fight. The important is fighting. You're a strong one Hadley"

"I love listening to you"

"You do?"

"Yes. It makes all my fear disappear… you give me strength. I wish this would never stop"

"It won't Remy. Just accept it. I won't leave."

tell me what you think about :)