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Chapter 14
Judy POV
My shaking paws held my phone as I dialed Nick, and dread gripped my heart as it went directly to his voice mail.
He always answered his phone for me…
"Nick, please…" I re-dialed, growing desperate for an answer.
Again, straight to voicemail.
I ran to the station's entrance. Surely he wouldn't leave me here!
There was no sight of him anywhere outside.
"Please, Nick, don't leave me… I-I'm so sorry…" I began to shake, quiet sobs pulsing my body.
My apartment!
I sped home, dangerously: barely able to see through teary, blurred eyes.
Sets of stairs vanished beneath my feet as I sprinted up them, bursting through the door of my apartment.
"NICK!?"
No answer.
I scoured my home, finding no sign of the fox I loved.
Our- my bed was still unkempt from our first night in my home together: it still smelled a little like him…
"Why would he run from me…" I felt broken inside knowing that I'd pushed him so far…
Wait! He was here! I caught a scent of my Nick in the kitchen: fresh, but brief.
"What did he need in here?" I thought, looking around for anything misplaced, ultimately to find nothing.
I leaned my back against the fridge, and slid to the floor: my sorrow overcoming me.
"Wh… where are y-you…" I sobbed to myself, holding my knees tight to my chest. "N-nick I'm sorry, I didn't… I didn't mean to push y-you away I..."
Pain stabbed into my chest as I was ripped apart by his absence, rocking back and forth: choking on my tears. "I… Oh N-Nick please d-don't b-be g-g-gone!"
A picture landed next to me as I shook: it was us together, close as Nick stood behind me, eyes closed and kissing my ears while I smiled at the camera. We were so happy...
"Get it together!" I thought to myself. "This won't find him. No matter how much it hurts…"
I decided to check his apartment, after grabbing the photo of us that had fallen to make myself feel better.
The drive was torturous. Every second felt like an hour as I sat in mid-day traffic.
"Come on come on come on come on! Move!" I screamed at the heinously slow cars in front of me.
"Ugh! I'll never find him at this rate! I'll never see him again, I'll never k-kiss him again, I-I'll never be c-close to him a-a-again-"
No! I will! I had to…
My little blue car lurched forward as I gunned it into the emergency lane, swerving in and out of traffic.
Horns blared next to me. I swerved, avoiding the crushing wheels of an 18-wheeler.
"Geez! That was close, bunny! You can't find Nick if you're dead!" I scolded myself, reeling in the emotions that had driven for me.
His rough-looking apartment complex neared me off of the highway. I sped down the exit ramp, but I couldn't bring myself to run the light.
"Judy you're an officer! You can't do this!" I yelled at myself, struggling against the urge to do anything it took to find my Nick.
The light flashed green, and I was parked haphazardly near the stairs to his home within seconds.
"Please be here please be here ple-"
His door was ajar.
Anxiety pierced me as I stepped forward, slowly, unbuttoning the strap that held my off-duty weapon I had concealed upon my hip.
His apartment was quiet: no sign of forced entry on the door, it was just… open.
"Nick…? Are you here?"
Silence met me.
I could hear my own heartbeat as I entered his messy home. It wasn't how I remembered: Nick used to try his best to pick up his living room before I came over.
Clothes were tossed everywhere: his TV covered in dust as it lie screen-down on the floor.
He had only spent a few nights here after the hospital before I had invited him to stay with me, but it looked as if it had been ravaged…
"Nick what happened to you…?" I questioned to myself, a growing sense of depression swelling in my stomach.
There was scent of him in the room, though it wasn't fresh.
I explored to his bedroom, glancing around: growing more uneasy every second. It felt… hostile, without Nick here.
His bed was a mess: torn sheets draped over the shredded mattress.
"Oh Nick…" I gasped. My tears speckled his carpet as I walked.
Claw marks lined his nightstand and the walls surrounding his bed.
I ran my paw along the claw lines in his headboard.
He had been having terrors while I had left his side… How could I have left him, even for a night…
I shook my tears away, and scanned around the mess. He wasn't here. He wasn't anywhere I knew.
I sat on his bed as despair washed over me wave by wave, until I held my head in my paws, sobbing.
"I-I lost him…"
Nick POV
The grass was cool on my body as I curled up on my side, hurting as if I'd been shot.
"You're a fucking liar if you'd thought you had actually loved her."
"I do love her…"
It paced around me, paws clasped behind its back: leaving me untouched.
"Yet, here we are, running away from her. Running away from your own revelation. I wonder how she feels about it. Will she ever forgive you?"
I remained silent, ignoring its jests.
"You can't ignore me, Nick. I know your thoughts."
"Hm." I grunted as sarcastically as I could. I've heard that line before.
"Hehe! I thought you'd forgotten!"
"How could I have forgotten what you've done to me!? What you've done to my life!?" Tears no longer ran down my cheeks. I couldn't sob anymore: I could only convulse on the ground in an attempt.
"I did this to you? Or did she?"
"I told you to leave her the fuck out of this!"
"Oh, Nicky, I love you so, so much," it jeered at me, taking the form of Judy: a vicious smile upon its face as it always had, "even though we'll never be married, we'll never have children! We'll never be accepted, but that's okay! I'll let you take my happiness away!"
I lied. I could still produce tears.
"Ha! I did this. You're a joke. You did this to yourself, you little…"
It leaned its face close to mine, still using Judy's violet eyes to gaze into mine, almost lovingly.
"…savage."
"GET AWAY!" I snapped at it, flashing my fangs.
"What did I tell you?" It chuckled, changing itself back into the black fox. "You're just. Like. Me."
"I'm nothing like you! I'd never hurt her! I'd never betray her, I-I'd never-"
"Leave her? Was that what you were reeeally going to say? Pfff! What are you doing now?"
I realized too late… it stood before me as myself, paws clasped lightly behind its back: it smiled no more. Oh god...
"We left her."
"We left her…"
Judy POV
There was no street I hadn't driven down in search for him. Hours passed as I scanned, empty inside: feeling as if I'd been torn in half.
I called him again, leaving yet another voicemail.
"N-nick it's me a-a-again, I… where are y-you Nick… C-call me back… please… I love you…"
I could barely speak: my voice weak from the constant sobs that shook every fiber of my being.
I looked down at my phone. I had Mrs. Wilde's number…
"Hello?"
"M-Mrs. Wilde! Have you heard anything from Nick!?"
"Is that you, miss bunny lady?" The old fox's voice came through the speaker, overlaid with static.
"Yes!"
"Oh! Well hello, darlin'! How is everything? How's Nicholas doing, is he being good?"
"I was actually calling you about that ma'am! Have you heard anything from Nick!?"
"I haven't in a while, I figured he was busy with his favorite bunny, as he puts it."
"Oh… okay… thanks Mrs. Wilde…"
"You call me back sometime! I'd love to catch up with you!"
"Yes yes of course ma'am. I'll talk to you later…"
Click.
Even Nick's mother had no idea where he could be. How could I ever hope to find a fox that wanted nothing more to do with a dumb bunny…
"You know he loves you…" I reminded myself, wanting to believe it as much as I could.
Then, why did he leave… why did he run away…
He must've had some reason. Maybe he just needed some time. Away from me…
"Damnit, Judy! Why did you push him so hard!" I screamed at my reflection in the rear-view mirror, my ears low.
"How could I have done this…"
How could I have known this would happen? Nick needs help. He needs me!
The traffic on front of me opened, and I saw the park. A sick feeling rose in my stomach. It was the only place I hadn't checked in the city.
I pulled to the side of the road. It was 9:33 pm. The moons rays gleamed white, caressing the tops of swaying trees.
"Could he…"
I drove, almost in a trance, into the parking lot of Zootopia Park.
My little blue car sat in a space, alone.
The lake remained still: The reflection of lights glistening softly on the mirror of its surface. The paved trail loomed in front of me. Flashes of Nick's mangled body ran through my head.
I took a deep breath, and started forward.
I hadn't been here since…
No. I refuse to think about that right now. I need to find Nick. I need to know he's not hurt…
My feet left the pavement, replaced by soft grass. I remembered Nick walking me here, tail around my eyes and laughing with me. He was so wonderful...
"Snap out of it! He could be hurt, or worse!" I thought aloud with a fierce whisper. I had to focus.
The hills rose and fell in front of me: the tree line resting upon a plateau in the distance.
I trekked up the last hill, fearing what I might find on the other side of the trees.
The wind touched my face, and I picked up the scent I knew so well.
"NICK!?"
I sprinted forward, dodging trees as I rushed to the clearing.
My heart raced: it was all I could hear. Adrenaline fueled me as I ran, dreading to see the clearing, dreading to see Nick laying dead in the gra-
"Nick! Oh my god, Nick!"
End of POV
Judy sprinted to her fox as if she hadn't seen him in years, tears of joy and relief streaming down her cheeks.
Nick lay still: his back turned to her. His ears twitched as if an animal was whispering to him.
That didn't stop Judy as she ran to his side, and embraced him.
"Nick! I was so worried!" She vigorously checked him for any sign of injury, until he placed his paw on hers, and pushed it away.
He stood, slow and unsteady, and walked away: tail dragging on the soft grass.
"N-nick…?" Judy looked at his turned back, her eyes full of pain.
"Judy I… I can't…"
"No, we can't." it whispered in his twitching ear.
"W-what do you mean?" Judy stood now, despair traveling up her body.
He sighed, shaking his head slowly. "I'm ruining your life, cottontail…"
"No! No you aren't! Don't say that!"
"It's true… I've done nothing but ruin your family… I've done nothing b-but… I've done nothing but be your burden…"
"Nick please…" Her voice quivered, her tears had returned.
Silence met her pleas.
She moved forward, and placed a soft paw on his back.
"You-"
"No!" Nick turned to her, a pained expression on his face, "Judy I don't want to hurt you anymore! I don't want to take away your joy! I don't want to take away your future! How can I be with you!? How did I ever deserve to be with you!? Judy I can't… I d-don't… I-I'm j-j-just a… s-savage a-a-anyway…" he fell to his knees, struggling to breath: his body pulsing as he wept.
A spear pierced Judy's chest as she watched his pain. She walked to him, understanding now why he'd run. Her paws ran through the fur on his cheeks as she moved his muzzle up to hers.
"Nicky…"
His eyes remain closed, swollen and heavy as he shook silently in her paws.
"Nicholas P. Wilde."
He looked up to her, a little shocked at her firm tone.
"I spent the entire day searching for you. I would've spent every next day searching if I hadn't found you. Why would I have done that if you were ruining my life? Nick, that's crazy."
His jade eyes averted, but were quickly met again with violet.
Her paw made soft pats on the grass as it tapped rapidly. Fireflies buzzed around them, oblivious to the couple as they flashed bright in small clusters.
"I know what it meant to say yes to you, Nick. I knew how animals would see us. I knew what it meant to love you."
She moved closer to him, touching her nose to his.
"And I don't care! I've never been happier in my life, and that's because of you! You're the sweetest, most wonderful animal I've ever met: why would you think I'd be better off without my dumb fox?"
He replied with a helpless shrug, but he was no longer shaking as he lost himself in the loving stare of his Judy.
"I wouldn't be. Nick, I'd be alone! You've been my best friend. You changed the way I viewed the entire world! Nicholas Wilde… you are my world."
He gazed at her: silenced by the pressure of butterflies in his chest.
"Judy… I… I'm so sorr-"
She pulled his lips to hers, and he pulled her body close as they kissed like they never had: washing away the fear and despair Nick held in himself. Her soft tongue met his: her paws traveled around his neck to hold her love closer, grasping at his fur as she lost herself in his gentle touch.
Suddenly, their contact broke, and Judy laughed, pushing her short muzzle into the fur on his neck.
"I love you so much, my big, dumb fox."
"I love you too, my cute, little bunny."
"But Nick I swear to God if you ever leave me like that again I'll murder you!" She spoke in the most loving way any animal could while threatening the life of their beloved.
"I'm sorry, carrots," He kissed lightly up her neck, "I'll never leave your side again."
She tightened her grip around him. "You promise?"
"I promise."
She stood there for a minute, embracing her dumb fox tight.
He nuzzled her neck lightly. "I'm so lucky to have you…" He whispered to her, feeling her sweet kisses on his ear.
Judy held his paws, and helped him to stand. "Your apartment is a mess. Looks like you'll be staying with me for a while." She teased, pulling on his arm: anxious to get him to her home as quickly as she could.
"Wait wait wait: you went to my apartment?" Nick looked at her as they walked, a sly grin on his face.
"I also called your mother!"
"No way!" Nick exclaimed, disbelief on his face.
"Yes way! I was really worried, Nick… I thought you were gone and that I pushed you away and I didn't know if I'd ever see you agai-"
He leaned over and kissed around her ears, "I know cottontail. You'll never have to worry so much again."
"I better no- eep!"
She found herself in his arms as he scooped her up, and kissed her deeply.
"Mm… Nick! Put me down!" Please don't ever put me down, she thought to herself.
"I can't. I made a promise I'd never leave your side." He nuzzled her ears.
The trees rustled around them, teased by wind as the couple made their journey out of the clearing.
Nick kissed the top of her head, loving every second with her more and more.
"I missed you so much…" Nick whispered to her as they descended a hill, "I don't know what I was thinking… I love you more than anything, cottontail, I'd… I could never live without you…"
"You don't ever have to, Nick," she replied softly, her lips brushing his when she spoke.
The lake stood before them, serene in beauty. Yet, the only beauty Nick admired was a hairs breadth away, in sweatpants and a T-shirt, nuzzling under his chin with soft ears and a fluffy white tail.
He carried her to the little blue car, feeling the weight he'd held on his shoulders replaced by her light figure in his arms.
Judy looked up at the moon, brushing her muzzle against Nick's.
"Ugh, Nick you know we have work tomorrow, right?"
"Yea, I thought about that, and I called Bogo to tell him I had something relating to a doctor's appointment."
"What? Why?" She looked at him, bewildered.
"Because. I have something I need to do."