Title: One Monkey for Three

Victim/s: Akainu & Dragon (and Garp and Luffy too!)

A/N's: Needed a little break from writing serious stuff so here I go with this way off the wall one ... I'm so sorry for this one lol xD

Here is some Akainu as requested

By: EBIL DUSTBUNNY OF DOOOOM

Hope you enjoy!

In the kitchen Sanji bit on the butt of his cigarette and scratched his head while he looking in the jar of jelly beans he had placed out yesterday. This was really odd; no one had touched them yet.

With one practical joke a fail Sanji, to lift his sprits, pulled out his little black book, and let his fingers do the walking over the Den Den Mushi numbers.

…

Many miles away on a government ship Akainu was sitting at his desk in his privet office plotting to ruin people's lives. "Humm vote yes on proposition 57 The Return of Barney the Dinosaur … to sex Puppet Theater. Well that should for sure make little kids cry, and make for more perverts to find in the theaters wacking off that I can arrest, or burn to ashes and blame it on a hay fever again." nodding he checks yes to make sure he votes for that this coming election.

Just then Akainu's Den Den Mushi went off. Putting his stuff to the side he slid the Den Den Mushi over to him and answered, "Hello this is Admiral Akainu."

"Hello there darling this is Pete Pat from the Revolutionary Collection Funding and I'm just calling to remind you about the Celebrity Date Auction you won last month."

Akainu blinked, "What the hell? I'm a marine!"

"Oh honey I don't question you boys anymore. I just need to know if you're free next week for your date with Monkey D. Dragon?"

"The infamous Revolutionary leader, who has been attempting to overthrow the World Government?"

"The one in the same sweetie."

"Don't call me sweetie."

"Sure thing sweetie now are you free, or not, or do we need to bump the date back another month. I will have you know Dragon is a very busy man."

Growling at the name again Akainu thought about this. If he did it, then he would have a chance at catching Dragon! "Alright then yes, next week is fine!"

"Wonderful then we will just need the payment for 800,000 beli."

"What! That much!"

"Well sir you were the one that bid that much."

"This is fucking insanity I didn't even ... grr …." grumbled the Admiral was then made to give his bank account information. Little did he know he was really sending all that money to a Feed the Hungry Children of the World Charity, but he would find that out next month when his bank statement came in. The admiral then got directions to a Sea King nest in a calm belt that he as well would not figure out till too late.

…

One week later…

Nami was seated at the kitchen table reading a newspaper, as Luffy shoved food in his mouth that Nami had given him claiming to be full, while the cook was busy working on rinsing out the pans from that mornings use so nothing stuck to them, and became hard as hell to get off.

"Wow what a scandal! Hey Luffy look it's about your dad and Admiral Akainu."

Luffy blinked and looked over at Nami while still shoveling food into his mouth not even looking now what he was putting in.

Figuring the rubber man was listen she went on to read out loud. "It's reported due to a tap put on Admiral Akainu's Den Den Mushi, for reasons un-clarified, Admiral Akainu is now wanted for questioning on the whereabouts on the infamous Monkey D. Dragon, as well as charges for funding the Revolution and is possibly in a secret forbidden romance the Revolutionary leader Dragon himself!"

Luffy's mouth fell open and food dripped out as he stared at Nami in a deadpan state. After a moment he shook his head, "This is why I don't read the newspapers!"

Sanji snickered and wondered how the rest of the family was taking the news.

…

Many miles on a government ship …

Garp had sat down to breakfast and was reading through the newspaper and had just came to the article about his son. Spiting out his coffee in shock he yelled out, "WHAT!" First Luffy with his sex changing wanting ways, and now his son dating this asshole and corrupting the marines while he is at it! Oh there was only so much an old man could take!

…

Many miles from there at the revolutionary hidden base camp…

Dragon was frozen in place holding a newspaper in his hands, eyes glued to the news article about him ….and Admiral Akainu! His right eye twitched. This would not go unpunished!

A/N's: Uh-oh, could this spell trouble later on down the line for our favorite cook? xD