A/N: We're reaching the end y'all. Just two more chapters after this. This chapter contains spoilers about which students are attending McKinley this upcoming season.
"Artie. For the last time, it's too late to transfer out of McKinley and Hogwarts isn't real. You can't go there."
"Lies!" I said miserably as my mom drove up to the school.
"I thought you said you were getting over the break up by now."
"That was when I didn't have to see her everyday."
"Just give it time remember? Have a good day sweetie."
"I'll have a good day the day I join the football team," I replied swinging the door shut.
School was as exciting as it ever was. Dodged a slushie facial by quickly wheeling into the elevator, avoided getting my glasses flushed down the toilet with the help of some freshman dude with kinda long blonde hair and had my wheels taped together, but it was only scotch tape so it wasn't that bad this time around.
It was weird not having Tina play Tic Tac Toe with me or draw all over my notebooks making my notes (and in turn hers because she would copy them later) much harder to read but much more interesting. We did still pass notes but it wasn't the same. There weren't anymore inside jokes. Glee Auditions were in a week and we were talking about which songs we were going to choose. I wrote to her that I didn't know, when in reality it was a three-way tie between Gone by NSYNC, Just My Imagination by The Temptations and She's Out of My Life by Michael Jackson. School was over for the day and I went to Mr. Schue to ask which song I should do.
"Wow, Artie, these are all great songs, like really great. But I'd really love to see you showcase your talent as a musician as well. Your guitar playing is excellent and it would be great if you could incorporate that too." Hm. Maybe this wasn't one of Mr. Schue's crazy ideas again because it sounded good. I thanked him and he replied, "No problem. See you at auditions."
"Hey, Mr. Schue, if I get in New Directions again, would it be okay if I sang one of these songs during rehearsal or something?"
"Sure you can. After all, Glee Club is always a good place to express yourself."
I ended up doing Weezer's Perfect Situation in my audition and completely killed the guitar solos. People were allowed to watch auditions this year and I saw almost everyone from last year (Matt was missing and it occurred to me that I hadn't seen him since school ended last year) and a few new faces, like that blonde guy that helped me with my glasses and a tiny girl that had a very big voice (she auditioned before I did and everyone knew Rachel was going to have some competition this year). Mr. Schue smiled at me as I wheeled back into the audience and I even got a couple high fives for once. Mike shot me a dirty look because he knew I was singing the second verse to him. Everyone else gave really good auditions and New Directions 2010-2011 Edition was going to blow everyone out of the water.
The following weeks, Mr. Schue outdid himself and let me perform each of my initial audition song choices in front of everyone. After my renditions of Gone and Just My Imagination, Mr. Schue considered making it a group number for the guys for an upcoming performance. I was met with general applause, but the only person whose opinion mattered the most kept her reaction hidden from behind her long black hair. I thought it was weird that Mike didn't seem as irritated as he had been when during my audition song.
I guess really brought the house down with She's Out Of My Life because I saw some of the girls wipe the corners of their eyes with tissues and even Mr. Schue seemed to get kinda emotional too. I guess it was because he was in love with Ms. Pillsbury (he doesn't do a very good job of hiding it) but she was dating someone else now. Maybe they could feel the emotion I was putting into the song because it was hard keeping it together on my part. Even Michael Jackson couldn't record this song without crying. I took a deep breath and shook my head to get out of the depressed zone. When I looked at Tina, she very pointedly turned her face away from my direction, hiding any kind of emotion she may be having.
"Dude, why are you so sad all the time now? It's kinda bringing everyone down." I looked around at everyone leaving for the day and Finn was right. Everyone seemed glum. Even Sunshine. Hell, even Puck gave me a solemn nod as I saw him send a fleeting glance at Quinn for a split second. "Did your hamster die or something?"
"Did you not pay attention to the lyrics?"
"Actually, I was trying to memorize the new songs Mr. Schue just gave us and I get all confused when try to listen to you and read at the same time. Did you know he wants us to rap? Plus Rachel was wearing this really nice sweater…"
"Okay, I get it Finn. It's just…" I glanced at Tina and Mike, who have been sitting further and further apart in Glee since school started, but they still walked the halls together. "How did you feel when Rachel started going out with Jesse?"
"It was really depressing at first, because like, I had my chance with her and I blew it. Then I wanted to set a chair on fire and throw it at him." I nodded over towards Mike and Tina leaving together and Finn understood. "Dude, you just gotta be happy for her and like hit things when no one's looking. I dunno, things worked out for me and Rachel, but then again that Jesse kid was a jerk and Mike's a pretty cool guy, I've played football with him forever and you know, he's in Glee. He's really awesome. Oh man, I didn't mean it like that.
My expression went from sad to confused to even sadder and now it's disbelief. "Thanks Finn." And I left the choir room singing Yesterday by the Beatles under my breath. To my surprise, Kurt and Mercedes came out of from the nearby stairwell and cornered me by some lockers next to it.
"Okay for real Vanilla Lightning, you've been killin' all your solos lately, but if you sing one more song about how much you miss Tina, I will cut you."
"We're being completely serious Artie. You really need to stop it."
"Tina's been a wreck ever since school started. Mike has been upset because of Matt."
"Quinn and Santana have been freaking out over Cheerios," Kurt continued.
"And you sappin' it up in the choir room does not make anyone feel better. If you want her back, just tell her already. If you wanna be together, be together. Do something instead of makin' all of us miserable every damn day."
"What about Mike?" I asked. Why did they want me to be 'the other man' so much?
"Where the hell have you been? They broke up two weeks ago."
"But I always seem them walking together."
"Well, Mike doesn't exactly have Matt around anymore does he? Tina is his closest friend now." Kurt said obviously annoyed at my ignorance.
"So they're just friends now?"
"Yes. So does that mean you're getting over your deluded drama inducing despondent self and just patch things up with Tina already?" Kurt asked.
"No." I said, making a move to leave this conversation. This was clearly not the answer they were expecting.
"What do you mean 'no'?" Mercedes asked in full on Mama Bear mode.
"If she can't make things work out with Mike, how could she work things out with me?" They looked at me with blank expressions. "He was good for her. She needs someone who can give her anything she wants. I can't be with her because I… I just can't okay? She… We can't be together because I'll end up doing something stupid and… We broke up because I was a jerk and I don't wanna do that again. It was hard enough the first time."
"What do you mean first time?"
I really hate my word vomit tendencies, especially when it happened in front of these two because they never let anything go. So I replied in a low voice, "I acted like a jerk to Tina so she could break up with me and not feel guilty about it." They looked at me like I had just stood up in front of them and started doing the electric slide. "I can't… She… I'm doing this for her own good."
"I can't believe you're pulling a Spider-Man right now," said Kurt rubbing his temple.
"You watched Spider-Man?" Asked Mercedes. To be honest, I'm sort of curious too because Kurt and Marvel superheroes don't exactly mix.
"Tobey Maguire in a body suit," he replied swiftly and got right back onto the subject. "But really Artie?"
"Don't give us any of that stupid noble business alright?"
"It's Tina's decision in the end on who she wants to be with."
"Do you still wanna be with her?" I didn't answer right away. Of course I did. I always will. We all looked at each other for a while in silence, fully knowing what my answer to that question was.
"It doesn't matter what I want. The fact of the matter is I can't be the guy she deserves." I pushed my way past them and slowly made my way home. I felt the same kind of lethargy that I had all summer and then suddenly, I felt my heart leap when I heard Mercedes' voice echo in the nearby stairwell as she asked, "Tina, have you been here this whole time? How much have you heard?"