Author's note: This is not another scenario, sorry. This is just a fun bonus conversation I felt like writing. Enjoy!

Undressed

What is this, Vlad? I don't even

Danny stormed into Vlad's office. "What are these?" he angrily demanded, holding up black white-trimmed underwear with his Phantom logo printed on the front.

Vlad leaned back in his chair, his fingertips pressed together. "Well, I would think by now that you know men and women have different parts, right? So, naturally, we require different undergarments. What you are holding is something a lady would wear. They're called 'panties.'"

Danny looked at the article of clothing in his hand, then back at Vlad in irritated bewilderment. "I know what they are! I mean why is my logo on them?"

"Ah, well, there's a machine that does that."

Danny huffed. "Why did you put my logo on these?"

"I didn't. I have employees who do that sort of thing for me."

Danny walked up to his desk and slammed his fists on the table, the panties clutched in one of them. "Vlad, why the hell are you producing lingerie using my image?"

"You're popular." Vlad shrugged. "You're a money maker. How could I not capitalize on that?"

"You can't just exploit me like this. You don't have any right to use this design."

"What are you going to do? Sue me?"

"I should. I could. Maybe I will."

"The law is meant for humans," Vlad retorted. "No one is going to represent a ghost. You don't have any rights as per our Constitution."

"I'm human, too! Or did you forget that?"

"Oh, no, I didn't forget. But that would require you revealing that you're half-ghost, and I know you would never do that." Vlad smirked at him.

Danny balked. "That's—you still can't just—"

"And really, even if you did, do you honestly think you could win? I have far more money than you. You couldn't even dream of hiring someone who could win against me."

"Sam's family has money," said Danny. "She's the one who designed this logo, you know."

"Right, but she's not about to reveal that she has a relationship with Danny Phantom, is she?" Vlad leered at him. "Face it, little badger. You can't beat me. I'm going to make money off of you, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Danny turned red. "Why lingerie?"

Vlad took the panties from Danny and looked them over. "Girls love cute underwear. Girls think you're cute. Ipso facto, I knew girls would love underwear that used your image. These are actually a pretty big seller, you know, along with the matching brassiere."

Danny pursed his lips and exhaled through his nose.

"Really, Daniel, I would think you'd be flattered that girls want to wear you wherever they go." Vlad gave him a cheeky smile and held up the panties. "They love you so much that they want to wear you against their secret parts. That might be the closest you ever get to them, you know."

Danny's eyes narrowed and flashed with ectoplasmic light.

"I do enjoy your angry eyes. They just warm my cold, unfeeling heart." Vlad stood and walked around his desk, holding out an arm as if to escort him. "Is there anything else you need from me, or shall I show you out?"

"One of these days, Vlad, I swear…" Danny shook his head in frustration.

Vlad grinned down at him. "I look forward to the day when you're actually a threat to me." He waved. "Until then, bye, my badger. Tell your mother hello for me, will you?"

Fuming, Danny reached to snatch the underwear back from Vlad.

"Ah ah." Vlad held the article out of his reach. "Did you purchase these, Daniel?"

"Of course not," spat Danny.

"Then you owe me twelve ninety-eight." Vlad held out an empty palm.

"I'm not giving you money for them!"

Vlad shrugged. "All right, then." He placed the panties in his jacket.

"I can just steal another pair. In fact, I could just clear them all out of every store."

"Oh, yes, and how would that look? Danny Phantom, so narcissistic and perverted that he steals lingerie bearing his emblem." Vlad put a finger to his jawline in mock thought. "I wonder who I should report that story to first. Harriet Chin would probably love it."

Danny growled. "Fine. Keep them." He transformed and flew straight up through the ceiling amidst Vlad's amused laughter.