Chapter 14

Asuka pulled up to the once-upscale apartment building. Third Impact had not been kind to its outer facade, but the structure itself was mostly intact. She looked up, round teardrops bouncing beneath her eyes. So many stairs...

She sighed, getting out of the car. Might as well get started.

Her eyes closed, Rei floated, motionless, in the dummy plug test chamber. Her normally empty thoughts had lately been disturbed more and more by what appeared to be repeating events. She still had not been able to approach Pilot Ikari. She had seen him glancing at her for a short while during class, and she had even seen him crying at one point. For some reason it struck a chord in her, but her conditioning was as strong as ever, and her constant thoughts had only seemed to strengthen it. Her sky-blue eyebrows quivered once. It was unlikely that she would be able to overcome her conditioning any time soon. Her conditioning. Imposed by the Commander. She had always looked up to him, but now what he had done was interfering with her attempts to gather information.

A tendril of anger wove its way through her mind. She knew him to be relentless when pursuing his goals. People were tools. She respected him, but she could no longer look up to him. In her mind, the Commander's face morphed into Shinji's. The sudden emotion that followed this image confused her.

Asuka gave a half-smile, playing her light over the closet, the two rolled-up mats standing to one side, crowding the moth-eaten clothes hanging from the rack.

Of course Misato wouldn't have thrown it away.

In the control room adjoining the test chamber, several of the graphs monitoring Rei's condition inched into the red.

"Ma'am..." the technician turned. Ritsuko walked over and looked at the monitor.

Behind Rei's closed eyelids, her normally red eyes flashed orange momentarily. A flood of memories assailed her as alarms went off in the control room.

"Shut it down!" Ritsuko snapped. She spoke into the microphone. "Rei, we're bringing you out. That's enough for now."

"Yes ma'am." Rei's impassive voice didn't carry any hint of her inner turmoil. Ritsuko turned to the technician.

"Have the MAGI run a full diagnostic on the test equipment before we resume the experiment."

It was still the beginning of the day. Rei found that she could still make it to school and actually be on time. As she showered and put on her clothes, she desperately sorted through the memories, and the emotions that went with them.

Shinji sat at his desk, thinking. The familiar conversation wafted through the air.

"Well, atleast we won't be seeing any more of her." Kensuke was saying.

"Yeah, but Mr. Bigshot still has to go work with her every day." Touji said with a laugh.

Shinji smiled. Their banter was no longer accurate, but Asuka apparently had too much fun tormenting Touji every time they repeated the Special Hat incident that he still had a bad opinion of her.

His smile froze as hands came around the sides of his head and covered his eyes.

"Guess who."

He didn't have to. That soft voice could only belong to one person. He turned, unconsciously taking one of the hands in his own. The tangle of emotions that greeted his mind nearly pushed him over the edge. "A-Ayanami?"

She dropped her other hand on his shoulder, smiling at the surprise and terror on his face. Relief finally overcame everything else, and he smiled, a tear involuntarily falling from his eye. "You're back..."

Asuka had just finished writing her name on the board when she heard the Class Rep's voice saying, "What's going on here?"

She turned, saw Shinji, then saw Rei. Her smile froze.

"This is personal." Shinji said quietly, looking at the Class Rep.

"What?" she said, her hands on her hips. "It looks a little too personal..."

"I don't think it's any of your business."

The Class Rep was so surprised to hear that from Shinji, she didn't know what to say. The door opened, the ancient-looking teacher stood, waiting. The Class Rep found her voice again. "Stand! Bow!"

Surprise, admiration, and jealousy warred within Asuka as she took her seat.

Shinji's confusion and relief were such that all he could do the entire lesson was stare out the window, in a somewhat amusing mimicry of Rei's own posture. When lunch period arrived, the both of them were out of the classroom before even Kensuke could get his camera up. Their feet found a deserted classroom and they fell into each other's embrace, their shared kiss full of urgency and need. Some time later, as they sat against the wall, leaning against each other and holding hands, their eyes closed, Shinji murmured, "I'm sorry. I thought... I'd lost you forever. All because I didn't know what I was doing with the resets."

She said nothing, happy just to be with him. Several minutes later, he asked, "How did you get your memory back?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "It happened during the mind-transferral process I go through regularly for the dummy-plug experiments."

"That's what my father has you doing that takes up so much time?" He realized that he'd never asked her about it.

"Yes." She knew he didn't know anything about the experiment, and so explained. "I regularly spend several hours in a special chamber updating the nerve- and muscle-memories of all the other Rei-clones. It's not really a direct mind-transfer, as far as I can understand. From what I know, there is a connection between the mind and soul. Atleast the soul as understood by NERV scientists. So to some extent, the mind is transferred when the soul is transferred."

He was silent for several moments, trying to understand it all. "You mean, if you died, the new clone that received your soul might not remember everything."

"Or atleast not all at once. I would slowly regain my memories."

"You mean this has happened before?" Shinji asked.

"Yes."

Of course it had, Shinji realized. He thought back.

Rei sat on the long, blue cushioned bench in the hospital waiting room, while Shinji stood to one side. Her arm was in a sling, She had a patch over one eye, and her head was wrapped in a bandage.

"I'm glad you're alive," Shinji said, slightly embarrassed. She betrayed no emotion, but he was used to that from her. "But, why isn't my father here?" He thought the old man cared about her. The least he could do is show up on the day she was released from the hospital. "Thanks, by the way," he said. "You saved me." He knew that without her actions, the sixteenth Angel would have taken over his Eva. He shuddered. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel it worming its way along his hand into his consciousness.

"What?" she asked. The jumble of confusion was normal after being forced to switch bodies to another clone, but she wished it wasn't so difficult to remember recent events. Pilot Ikari was her only real friend, and obviously something important had happened. The last time she had switched bodies was after Naoko had strangled her to death. That event still confused her. Had she done something to anger the woman?

"You saved me by self-destructing Unit-00," Shinji told her.

"I saved you?"

"Yeah, don't you remember?"

"No... I mean, I don't know. I think, probably, I'm the third." It was the only thing she was reasonably sure of at the moment. She wished she could remember more details, but it was beyond her for now. Hopefully he would understand.

The bell rang in the distance, but they didn't move.

Asuka returned to her seat, the slightly tepid school lunch heavy in her stomach. She glanced over at the two empty seats usually occupied by Shinji and Rei. It appears her memory has returned. And he's gone back to his old ways. Had that kiss meant nothing to him? Tears blurred her vision. She was the one who had forced him into it. Why? Did she have feelings for him? No! She brutally shoved the thoughts and emotion aside. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned in surprise. It was Hikari.

"Are you okay?" the girl asked.

Asuka smiled wanly. "Yeah. Don't worry about me."

Hikari glanced at the two empty seats, "Hm, they didn't come back from lunch. Do you know where they are? That's unlike them. They're two of the better-behaved ones in this class."

"No." Asuka said in a dull voice. "I don't know where they are." And I doubt they're being very well behaved. Hikari seemed oblivious to what was happening. For someone who pined after Touji like there was no tomorrow, the girl could be astonishingly dull at times.

"Let's go get something to eat," Shinji finally said, stirring slightly.

"The school cafeteria is closed," Rei reminded him.

"Then we'll just go somewhere else."

She said nothing to that, as they both got up and, hand in hand, left the school. It was logical, in its own way. There was no harm in skipping school, since they had already been through the entire semester before. Her curiosity grew as they stepped onto a bus. After some time, she asked, "Where are we going?"

He pointed to a needle-thin building in the distance. Her eyes widened slightly. "Can we afford to eat there?" she asked in surprise. It was one of the most luxurious restaurants in Tokyo-3. The dining area was situated at the top of the spindle-like tower, and rotated, giving the patrons a full three hundred and sixty degree view of the city every twenty minutes.

"Yes we can, actually. Somehow I managed to win the lottery..." his eyes danced with amusement, and she returned his smile, remembering Asuka's plan. They were both silent for the rest of the ride, Shinji still a little overwhelmed with the joy of Rei's return to his life, and Rei similarly overwhelmed sorting through all the memories she had so recently regained.

As they entered the base of the tower through the automatic doors, they both were awed by the majestic tower rising into the sky. Which was probably the intent of the architects who had designed it. Rei watched Shinji take the Maitre'd by the arm and whisper a few words to him. He returned a half minute later, and they both continued on to the elevator. One of the elevators, anyway.

The Maitre'd watched them go, slight amusement evident on his composed features. The boy was obviously some rich kid out to impress his girlfriend. He doubted they were sixteen, as the boy had said, but he decided not to report it.

The two stepped into one of the empty elevators. There were multiple elevators all situated around the tall spindle, semi-recessed into the structure. The elevators themselves were circular as opposed to rectangular, and the outer semicircle was transparent, so that the guests could see outside as they ascended. Shinji chuckled slightly as they rode upwards, and Rei looked at him questioningly.

"I suppose this would be more awe-inspiring if we weren't Eva pilots..." he said, humor evident in his voice.

"True," she nodded.

This did not keep them from appreciating the view as they rose into the sky. The doors slid open, and they were escorted to their table. The room was dimly lit to provide a better view during the evening hours. All of the furniture, tables, and chairs were made of wood, which offset the dim lighting and made for a warm atmosphere. They were seated at a table for two right next to the panoramic floor-to-ceiling window that curved out of sight in either direction.

"What would the lady and gentleman like to drink?" the waiter asked. He surveyed his charges, wondering at their young age. This wasn't the first time exceptions had been made, however, and apparently they had the money.

"Green tea is fine," Shinji answered, glancing at Rei, who nodded. The waiter swept away to get their drinks. After briefly surveying the plush room, Rei put her elbow on the table, her chin on her hand, and gazed out over the cityscape. Shinji watched with some amusement, noting that unlike her usual pose in class, where her eyes were half-lidded, she was more wide-eyed at this sight.

"What do you think about when you stare out the window?" Shinji asked.

She assumed he was referring to what she did during class, but in any case the answer was the same. "This is what we protect," she answered softly, gesturing out to the city and the people below. "These are the people to whom we are bonded."

Shinji remembered her saying something similar before they fought the fifth Angel.

"Ayanami, just why do you pilot this thing?" he had asked. He knew that on some level she suffered just as much as he did when piloting the Eva. He had seen her lying on the hospital bed, in pain, after the abortive activation of Unit-00.

She looked down, thinking for a few moments before looking back up. "Because I'm bonded to it."

"You're bonded..." Shinji had echoed questioningly. He had never heard her talk like this. Then again, he hadn't heard her talk much at all. She probably talked to him more than anyone else. Well, except for my father, he thought. Atleast on this matter, he envied the man.

"Yes." she answered. "It's a bond."

"You mean... to my father?" He assumed she meant the bond of duty, or something similar.

"To all people."

That answer had bewildered him even more. It wasn't until Third Impact that he began to understand what she meant.

The waiter returned with a white porcelain tea service, which he set on the table. "Do you need menus?" he asked.

"Maybe you could suggest a good vegetarian dish," Shinji answered. "This is our first time here."

"In that case, I know just the thing," the waiter said. "We serve an excellent Kitsune Udon with vegetables."

Shinji looked at Rei, who spoke to the waiter, "That would be acceptable."

"Very good, madam." The waiter left, glancing back and smiling slightly. He'd never seen hair that shade of blue before. The two were very well behaved for their apparent ages.

Shinji poured her tea, and then his, and handed her the cup.

"Thank you," she said, accepting the cup. She put it to her lips, tasting the tea.

Shinji lifted his own cup, taking a sip. "That's certainly better quality than I'm used to," he said, his eyes widening.

"It is," she agreed.

Then again, he usually got his tea from a vending machine.

"So what else do you enjoy besides gymnastics?" Shinji asked.

"Well, I do a little Jujitsu," she answered.

Shinji almost sputtered for a moment, setting down his cup. "How have you found the time to learn two such intensive disciplines?"

"All my life I have done nothing but my responsibilities," she explained. "That, combined with neuro-training techniques, is how." Having had no practice at small talk, she decided to return the question. "How about you?"

"Hah. Well, I play the cello, but I'm only good at that because I practiced since I was five," he said, slightly embarrassed. "I guess other than that, the only thing I'm good at is piloting the Eva."

"Piloting the Eva is enough."

Shinji didn't know what to say to that. He remembered her earlier statement before fighting the fifth Angel.

"I have nothing else."

He supposed that while they were in the resets, none of them had anything else besides piloting the Evas. He turned back to the slowly turning view, and so did she. Several minutes later, their food arrived.

"Shinji, what is this?" Rei asked, chewing slowly and enjoying every minute of it.

"Deep fried tofu. I wish Misato had a deep fryer, but I'm still breaking her of the instant-food habit."

"This would do it," Rei said, as she continued eating.

"You're probably right. Of course, now that I have the money, I can get one on my own, I guess," he said wryly.

Neither of them said anything else as they finished the delicately spiced and prepared noodle dish.

The waiter soon returned with two small bowls of Anko. "On the house," he said to Shinji. "Will there be anything else?"

"No, thank you," Shinji said, accepting the wireless tablet and signing it, giving the man a generous tip.

"Thank you, sir," he said, bowing and leaving them to their dessert. They both slowly enjoyed the sweet bean paste, as they watched the ever turning view of Tokyo-3, the afternoon sunlight glinting off the mirror-surfaces of the massive skyscrapers stretching skyward around them.

After he walked her home from where the bus left them, they stood by the door to her apartment.

"Thank you, Shinji, I enjoyed that."

He leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped him, putting a finger on his lips. "Technically, that was only our first date. Don't you know the kissing rule?"

He paused for a moment, and was about to turn to leave when he saw the laughter in her eyes. She put both arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

"You got me on that one," he admitted with a smile when she released him.

She was about to turn to go into her apartment, when she stopped, took his hand, and dragged him inside. "Might as well not waste the rest of the day. Let's continue your training."

Back to work, I guess, Shinji thought, as he followed her. They both rested for about an hour to give their stomachs time to settle, and then she took him through several of the gymnastics exercises she had taught him. After a half hour of that, she spoke.

"The warm-up is now over."

"W-warm-up?" he echoed.

"Now we start your martial arts training."

He gulped.

Several hours later, he managed to drag himself home without collapsing into a heap anywhere along the way. After what she'd put him through, he considered that a miracle. And yet even while every part of his body ached, his heart sang, and he couldn't wipe the grin off of his face.

He made it to his room where he found clean clothes. He wanted nothing more than a bath and a good night's sleep. As he staggered towards the bathroom, Misato's bedroom door slid aside to reveal her in her NERV uniform.

Her eyes goggled. "Shinji! What happened to you?"

"Rei is training me in gymnastics and jujitsu."

Misato sputtered through a few sentences, having no idea what to say to that. Shinji closed the door to the bathroom.

"Right." Misato finally said in a small voice. "Um, I guess we'll talk later. I've got night shift, so I'll see you tomorrow..."

"Bye, Misato!..." she heard his muffled reply. Despite his state, he sounded cheerful, which was at odds with the depression she'd last seen him in. She shook her head, deciding she'd find out what was going on eventually. She didn't want to be late again and give Ritsuko yet more ammunition against her.

The next morning, just as Shinji opened his eyes, everything went black around him.

He sat up, brushing sand from his hair and waiting for Asuka to explain to him why she had brought him to the post-Third-Impact reality again. Amusing that I'm actually getting used to this, he thought.

He looked over at where Asuka stood, backlit by the reddish tinge the rising sun gave as it bounced off the orange sea. He half-smiled. Their dance pad game. She had found it somehow. That's right, the next Angel is the twin Angel, he thought.

"Let's go, Third Child." Asuka said, not looking at him, her voice slightly more subdued than usual. "We're not leaving here until I think we can beat the Angel."

So she had decided to fight it this time. Well, he wouldn't be the one to disappoint her. He set his mouth in a hard line. "Right."

They sat in the two lawn chairs, watching the setting sun. The silence, while somewhat uncomfortable, was better than a few of the conversation topics that Shinji could think of. He wondered briefly what methods she used to... bring herself here. Despite his constant mental accusations of her being psychotic and unstable, he had a hard time actually thinking about whether she actually killed herself every time she came here. Maybe there was another way to get here. He certainly didn't know, but he hadn't really experimented with it.

He shuddered. Ayanami was back, but he wasn't sure he would ever trust himself again. He was perfectly happy that Asuka was the one in control of things. After all, the resets had not dissolved into chaos, so she obviously had more mental stability than he did. Asuka wasn't crazy, just... driven. Or something. He had to admit to himself that he really didn't understand her. Several minutes passed.

"We'll... probably be ready tomorrow, don't you think?" He looked over at her. "We're doing pretty well together already..." He knew his gymnastics training was atleast partially responsible for that. He remembered her earlier comments while they trained,

"Shyst!" Asuka yelled, throwing her headset to the ground. Shinji had once again missed a beat, which had thrown Asuka off. "So much for synchronization! I could never sink down to the level this... animated turd of blues is at!"

She had been right, Shinji knew. The only reason Rei had been able to synch with him and follow his movements in the dance-pad game was because of the high degree of control she had over herself.

Asuka spoke. "Ayanami's memory has returned." It wasn't a question, and Shinji wasn't sure how to respond. She continued looking straight ahead.

"Yeah." He finally said. Her eyes were shut. He wasn't sure she even heard him. He closed his eyes.

He jerked awake, panicking for a second, then remembered where he was. It was a warm night, as usual in Tokyo-3, but he'd found some shorts and a light shirt earlier during the day. He glanced to his left. Asuka was gone. He looked back over his shoulder. The car was gone as well. He turned back to look at the night sky with a sigh. He wished there was someone he could talk to. He'd never had this kind of problem before.

Kaji. He thought. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of it till now. He closed his eyes and waited for morning.

I hate him. She drove on, not seeing any of the buildings or scenery. The night was utterly devoid of the usual cricket noises.

I refuse to be part of some twisted harem. Her grip tightened on the steering wheel. Buildings, both broken down and still standing, rushed by on both sides.

I refuse to be second choice! Her hair flapped furiously as she sped along.

I refuse to try to chase him when it's obvious he likes someone else! The vaguely diamond-shaped remains of the fifth Angel loomed in the distance, never having been completely disassembled.

I hate him. I hate him!

Tears leaked from her eyes and were whipped away by the wind. The scenery blurred around her. She jammed her foot on the brakes, the car careening through a half circle and coming to a halt. She shut her eyes, moisture trailing down to her chin.

Why can't I hate him?