Chapter 13- Judged and Damned

"Never find out about what?" Lancelot snapped. Both of the Romans held a victorious smile on their faces. Elayne couldn't face Galahad or Tristan. She only looked into the humble eyes of Arthur, but he showed no mercy.

"The Saxons know of us because of you?" Arthur said each word in pain, speaking with slow incredulous words. Elayne felt only more guilt pile on her. "Why?" The excessive silence besieged Elayne's heart. Her eyes fluttered to Galahad. He glared at her. Tristan looked away, fuming in anger when her eyes met his.

"Arthur, you must believe me when I say I did it to live," Elayne began. "I had no other choice!" Sobs choked up her quiet words. Excalibur was suddenly at her throat. Arthur refused to step near her. Galahad and Tristan's bodies grew rigid.

"Are you telling me my knights are in danger because of you?" he asked raucously. Elayne hung her head, the silence eating away at them all. Finally…she confirmed the truth with a nod. The truth mixed with betrayal. It all was waded together in a seamless woven soul, a conscience that ate away at Elayne's heart. She wanted with all her being to keep her head high, to hold it strong. But the shattered, torn, mutilated friendships made tears drill down her cheeks. Gawain took a deep sigh, covering his face with a hand. Bors was shaking, his body trembling with a fury that aroused every pain, every curse, and every death by his own hands. Blood seemed to flow with no end from the tears washing down Elayne's cheeks in Bors' mind. Dagonet was unapproachable, his face blank. The words to Elayne's song echoed over and over in his head. The hope they all shared, the pleasures they held. The memory of fifteen years past suddenly meant nothing to any of them as they stared into death handed over to them like prey to a predator. They were all ready half injured.

If ice took the form of a human in flesh and blood, with all its coldness horded together and love stripped away, then it was locked in the spirit of Lancelot. He stared at her profoundly, his fingers winding around the hilts of the swords until the knuckles were white. All color had drained from his face. Elayne quaked under his hard glare. But nothing could compare to the trials of the two knights who knew her best of all.

One had her heart. The other had her spirit. Both completed her and Elayne hoped both would remain with her. Her dream was cut short, a brief reprieve from the works of war and hatred that dominated the world. Galahad was rigid to the spot. The very notion of breathing came in a painful effort. Every smile, her eyes, the warmth of Elayne in his arms, it didn't matter to him anymore.

First it was Gawain, stabbed in the side. Then it was Tristan, holding his face and scrambling across the ground. Bors, blood streaked his face and gushed from his mouth. Arthur, spit and blood squirting from his mouth as an armored fist collided into his face. Lancelot, the arrow protruding from his chest. Dagonet, the three arrows tearing at his flesh as he sank into the water…

"You will tell us what you have done Elayne," the voice of Arthur was not soft. It was harsh, hard and made Elayne look into his eyes. "Or I will kill you now." Elayne blinked away all cruel imaginations of being killed by Arthur in front of Galahad and Tristan. She pushed them aside, trying to think of her father. Strength is one of the most important things a warrior has. But a knight, a knight has valor and forgiveness. Pride and contempt are ruled over by courage…

"My father was a rebel Saxon, who didn't believe in Cerdic's ways," Elayne saw a few dubious faces, save Galahad's. "We lived in our own village, a group of rebels, kept to ourselves and did what we thought was right." Elayne felt her shaking voice steady slightly, but tears broke the firmness. "Cerdic is a man who kills mercilessly anyone at anytime. He destroyed my village. The soldiers claimed me theirs to do what they wished with me." If Elayne expected a shock of sympathy like Galahad's, she received none. "Cerdic spared my life for one reason."

Galahad met her eyes, his face peering deep inside her as he picked from the swamp of lies and faced the truth.

"Cerdic wanted to conquer Britain next, he needed a spy to locate all the posts and forts." Elayne felt her body break, but she did not yield to the heavy sickness of betrayal. Tristan was impressed, perhaps the only one of the seven, to see Elayne not swayed by fear. "Cerdic allowed me to live but only if I became his spy."

Lancelot grunted. "So what does that have to do with us?" he hissed. Arthur's face looked as if he had watched all his knights die right in front of him and he did nothing to help them. He glared at Elayne.

"It means Cerdic knew of our mission, the family, and the location all along because of Elayne, not just the British spy." His heartless tone made Elayne nodded. Hot tears poured like crimson blood, a lost life, down her cheeks.

"Villages began to suspect me, so I found a renegade, a British spy to take my place. He told Cerdic all he would need to know. He was the traitor to his own people." Her voice faded, her eyes wide in memory. "I betrayed my father…" The realization smacked her hard across the face. "I knew it then when I sent him to Cerdic. I wanted to go to Hadrian's Wall to warn you. The infamous Arthur and his knights. But Cerdic followed like a swift cyclone, a torment of beasts. He destroyed a British village and left me to die in it, but then the Roman soldiers found me and took me to Marius." She didn't meet the eyes of the two red robed, golden armored men who held her hostage if she tried any quick movements. "I am the reason we are here and in this mess."

All the knights except Gawain and Tristan were bent low in a scowling huddle mass of retribution and all the blood thirst in the world. Elayne wanted to whisper Galahad's name once more. It would be a reassurance to her. Instead she was fixed with a glare that held all signs of mistrust, all faces of disgust. Yet the plainness of it all, the lost twinkle in his eyes made a large sob spring from her lips. She had become obsolete. The eyes of all the knights remained, like birds keen on their next victim of prey. Elayne, strength and love surpasses all signs of frailty and weakness…

Tristan lowered his bow. He actually withdrew it back to his casing. Elayne took a step back, the new shunned out victim. But there was a look in Tristan's eyes, forgiveness, which dried Elayne's tears.

"Arthur," the man shuddered, his repugnant face locked in its spot. "To save my life, to live, to be free." Elayne felt her voice grow, the intensity of her words sinking forcefully into his head. "I had to do it. I've heard stories about Romans. Their wealth, their honor," she spat at the feet of the two soldiers. "Their lust. But you, you Arthur, are different." A gentle smile tugged at her lips, her voice flowing calmly like water. "You held your honor, you expressed your kindness. You showed to me, Guinevere, even Lucan that it matters not who we are. We are all the same to you. In your eyes-"

"In my eyes!" Arthur screamed incredulously. Elayne stood slack jawed, taking a shaky step back. Her ankle caught the Roman who stuck out his foot. Elayne toppled over, scrambling back. Tristan felt his feet pull him, his latent fear over Elayne replaced by his loyalty to Arthur. "In my eyes Elayne, I see death!" Arthur shouted in a booming voice. "I see all my knights dead because of you. Because you do not have the stomach to accept your past, because a coward like you betrayed your people in order to be saved by a greater demon of war. If not for your life Elayne, then why else?"

But Elayne could only stay dumbfounded on the ground. Arthur nodded to the guards, who backed away. Elayne watched the gleam of Excalibur wink in the sunlight. She held her breath, her eyes wide. A blur of flesh and steel came out of the corner of her eye. Dagonet leaped in front of Arthur, pushing the other man aside. Arthur stood, a mixture of surprise and anger masked on his face.

"Dagonet," he said in a slow, ungrateful tone. "Move!" Dagonet's hand went around Elayne, protecting her. He rested his sword on his chest, blade up. Elayne saw Galahad frown. He cared for her not. It crushed Elayne, broke her heart into pieces. But…I deserve it.

" I will not let you condemn her to death," Dagonet exclaimed. Arthur stared up, perplexed at his fellow comrade's behavior.

"Dagonet, move!" Dagonet shook his head again. He answered back in a stern, resolute voice.

"I will not."

"Dagonet, if you don't move-"

"She's the reason we're in this!" Lancelot suddenly exploded in anger. "This, all this danger is because of her." He pointed a berating finger as Elayne shrunk deeper behind the huge knight. "Let Arthur kill her and be done with it." Arthur showed a slight sign of uncertainty. He regretted what he was about to do. Galahad and Bors caught the face, the face of indecision and insecurity. Gawain hobbled unsteadily from one foot to the next. His eyes filled with remorse. Tristan tired to ignore the look Arthur gave him, but he knew that wouldn't help. He wanted to contradict what was about to happen, but it would be in vain.

"For God's sake Arthur, we could be home now, safe, if it weren't for her. You'll let us all burn for this woman!" Galahad proposed. Elayne shook her head in disbelief, unable to hear the words that freely poured from Galahad's tongue. Arthur chewed on his lip. It's not her fault. It's the Saxons, his mind reckoned with him. He looked her squarely in the face. But she is Saxon. She's the enemy. She confessed to all the crimes she had taken to get them where they are today. He clenched his jaw tightly, his chiseled face hardening.

"I will not die for some Saxon girl. I have a family, let her rot with the Saxons that bedded her," Bors announced. Lancelot, Galahad and Bors all at once started arguing over Elayne's treason. Her execution was entirely in their hands. Again, Arthur felt torn between two assurances.

"Enough!" he hollered. His eyes blazed like fire burning through the green forest that was the hazel of his eyes towards Elayne. Dagonet regretfully moved aside. "Tristan," the knight perked up, tearing his eyes off of Elayne. "You will take her into the woods, far from here." He pointed his sword down at Elayne. She began to shake profoundly, her legs wobbling from underneath her. Her stomach churned, her mind was throbbing unbearably in her head with every move. "There you will perish."

But it's not her fault. Tristan frowned in disagreement, opening his mouth to finally protest against his leader. "But Arthur-"

"Do it now!" Arthur's nostrils flared. Tristan, hiding his grudge, accepted. Elayne broke down in tears, yet held seethed teeth and fiery eyes at Arthur, her condemner. Her eyes were filled with undying willpower. Tristan felt his fingers prickle. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and steal her away and stay with her, telling her everything was all right.

"If any of my knights die, I'll curse you to a lifetime in hell Elayne." His eyes were hard with the truth. "I swear by God you will suffer." And so she was, persecuted to a hollow prison, a death she couldn't escape.