Chapter XIII – Tempest

"Why the fuck are you telling her this right now and like that?" Squall angrily whispered.

It was official - we were in bizarro-land. This was not real life. It couldn't be. It just…couldn't.

"Cool your jets, dude – there's a damn good reason. And it's that Rinoa could be in danger too since she was friends with her."

But apparently Zell was still convinced that it was reality we were dealing with so he matched Squall's tone, getting the hint that he'd said that insane statement too loud, even though we were in a room full of sleeping beauties with no doctors around and Zell's head was poking through curtains that tended to muffle sound a little.

At that moment, he walked through the curtains completely and made a point to make sure that the two sides perfectly overlapped each other. Soon after, he handed me a tiny folded piece of paper – one that had my name on it in what was undoubtedly Allison Bear's handwriting.

"That fell out of her pocket sometime after she was transported out of the room before examination – I just happened to pick it up when no one was looking." he softly explained. "I haven't read out of respect for her and you but if it has anything to do with what I suspect, she might not be the only target."

"…Suspect what?"

Naturally, Squall was clueless as to what Zell was referring to but I raised a finger to silence him for a moment. Even though I would have preferred to be alone with this, I needed to know what this scrap of paper said – for myself and to confirm or deny Zell's suspicions. And after quieting Squall, I leaned back against the headboard and brought my knees up to my chest for a little more privacy.

Unfolding it, the first thing I noticed was that the handwriting was pristine without any discernible slant to the letters – this meant that she'd written it at a leisurely, natural pace, making me figure that it was penned sometime before…it happened.

I realize I shouldn't be giving you this letter, but today's exchange made me feel horrible knowing that I've let you down when you've already gone so much during these last three years. The last thing I want is to make you feel like you've done something wrong or that I've changed floors because of some personal reason because it's the furthest thing from the truth. The truth is that I was forced to by Dr. Odine and his staff of scientists and was told not to speak with you unless if I wanted us to face severe consequences – I think Odine suspected that we were plotting something even though we've had the discussion about not pursuing this and he was made aware of the decision we'd made. I don't know what measures, if any, they've taken to make sure I follow their terms but please, for your safety, do not come to the 3rd floor or approach me should we happen to cross paths for smoothies. I'll find a way to discreetly keep in touch with you - even if it's by chicobo mail. Don't you worry. :)

Your friend,
-Ally

I couldn't unglue my eyes from the creased piece of paper I was holding between my hands. I should have believed in her, believed in the possibility of secondary reasons forcing her hand. My temper tantrum probably drew attention to our brief interaction and cost her life. I just…

My eyes burned, closed shut with the cracks filling themselves to the brim with tears. I just couldn't believe that what I had between my fingers was all that I'd ever have left.

"It's…it's what you thought." I choked out before I had to set the damn page aside and bury my face into my knees. I couldn't hold it in any longer, the sobs just overtook everything and I couldn't stop shaking. This couldn't be real life…it just couldn't…

I didn't bother say anything when Squall spoke up again, asking, no, demanding, to know what the hell was going on or when Zell stubbornly refused to answer him – I was just so sapped that I…

Then Squall got up and, to my surprise, I jolted awake, my body temporarily freed the sedating effect grief was having on me. Even though he had to have lost a good 5-10 pounds since transitioning, the fact remained that he was still towering over Zell and his intimidation factor was definitely intact – especially when there was so little space to begin with anyway. I leapt forward and instinctively grabbed Squall's left hand out of fear that some kind of fight was going to break out. He looked back at me with a definite concerned look crossing his features.

…Features that included full head of hair that was suddenly losing its inky hue right in front of me.

It was so…awe inspiring. Enough so that I had trouble getting words to come out of my mouth in a somewhat-intelligible way…even more so than I'd originally anticipated.

"…Don't." I murmured. "Fighting won't help."

"…Wasn't going to." he told me before looking back at Zell when I'd finally let go of him a good couple of seconds later. I still couldn't believe how not-feverish he was to the touch, how he'd passed through transition in a record 6 days. With a deliberately-calm but also firm tone of voice, he asked Zell, "-If she confirmed what you suspected, what happens now?"

Zell looked almost dumbfounded. "Uh…I was going to suggest that you two stick together for the time being until I could work out a definite plan but…that might not work since you look like you're coming out of transition already."

"It's only been 6 days. The nurses won't let me go that fast until they figure out why I went through it so quickly. I'll be able to stay until you think of a plan – just make it quick."

Zell turned ever so slightly to look at me. "You'll be cool with that?"

I weakly nodded.

"Alright. I gotta go because Amy's waiting up on me with the car but I'll check up on you sometime during my shift tomorrow, that ok?" he said, prompting me to nod again, "Ok, then I'll do that. Sorry for dumping this all on you like this Rin but-"

"-It's ok, really. I understand – it was important to tell me even though you were strapped for time." I told him, causing Squall to go back to his seat when my comment earned me a thanks and a hug from Zell before he reluctantly left. When he disappeared behind the curtains, a few more tears I'd staved off rolled down my cheek. I wiped them away in the vain hopes that it would keep them at bay and stop half of my face from looking like I was caught in a torrential downpour in front of Squall.

…Then I couldn't help but realize how ridiculous that sentence was considering that Squall's name was also a noun that meant a wind storm usually bringing rain or snow. Then there was the fact that it was also a verb that meant crying or wailing loudly.

Yes, I was totally trying to stop my face from having squalls and myself from squalling in front of Squall. Cripes…I know it's kind of in bad taste to speak ill of the dead but, did Squall's mom hate him or something? Talk about a loaded namesake. No wonder his health cards wanted to conspire to name him Jim. Even still…Squall suited him, connotations of windstorms and wail-storms aside. I couldn't explain it…just like I couldn't explain this train of thought…at all.

I lied down on my side, facing the subject of my random-as-ever thoughts. Squall's eyes caught mine and he looked…slightly on edge.

"…You don't have to stay." I told him.

"I don't say things I don't mean." he calmly replied. "But I need to know what Zell was referring to. Things like this don't happen to people without a reason."

One blink and I was back to square one with my eyes welling up again. So was he judging by how I'd noticed his hair going inky again before the water in my eyes made it impossible to see.

I didn't say anything though. I just cried and he let me, not saying a word himself either. I appreciated it as much as I'd wished he wasn't sitting where he was at the same time. It was awkward and not in the sense that my makeup was running and giving me the oh-so-attractive raccoon-slash-goth look, it probably was but that wasn't the point, it was knowing that he had no idea that he was already entangled into this mess.

Even still, I realized that if I wanted him to stay out of this and uphold my promise to Allison, I needed to wipe away the tears, pretend to compose myself and tell him the truth so he wouldn't go sleuthing on his own. Sure, it would be an omission-riddled and carefully-worded version of the truth, but it wasn't lying if he was the one who drew the wrong conclusions, was it?

Well, the only way to know for sure was to put the theory in practice. And so, I grabbed a few tissues, wiped my eyes a little and mustered the courage to keep fresh tears from raining down while simultaneously swinging my legs over the bed's edge, daring to sit up and face him in order to re-establish eye contact.

"On that first day you were here…I accidentally found out about something I shouldn't have known about and Nurse Bear…Allison saved me from certain doom – the real reason I was gone four hours was because I was out cold for most of that time." I whispered to him. His still-blue eyes looked captivated for all the wrong reasons; I thought I saw a touch of anxiety as well but it might have been my imagination. "When I was looking for her, I stumbled across a room with a bunch of zombies tethered to beds and before I knew it, someone sedated me. Allison…she saved me from being kept in that room. Sometime after, I learned from her that there were scientists experimenting on a handful of them to find a cure instead of euthanizing them like they were supposed to. The staff here have little to no power against them – they get blackballed for other jobs and discredited if they try telling people what's going on."

"Was Ellone…?"

"…No. She wasn't there." I said, strangely not caring that I was headed down that slippery slope and overtly telling him lies now. At this point, I just hoped that it would be enough to ensure that his mind wouldn't go down that track.

He looked away for a good second before his eyes met up with mine once more with a somber gaze. "…Whatever I'd said about you helping me find Ellone…just forget about it."

My heart did a somersault. Did I not think things through again with my words? I wouldn't have been surprised if I did overlook a possible interpretation of my wording. Right then, I wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and forget the world but…maybe there was the slight possibility of me jumping the gun here.

"…Why?"

Just maybe.

"Because a person's dead already and I doubt the body count will stay the same if you continue nosing around in places we shouldn't be." he coldly stated. A rogue tear or two escaped asylum. He believed me. And whether or not he thought that this was all linked, he…actually believed me. And I…I suddenly felt horrible over the lie rubbing salt in his wounds rather than protecting them. "You were right – without a logical escape plan, finding her means nothing. The plan was dead in the water from the moment I brought it up. I was delusional to think otherwise."

"No. You weren't." I softly said.

"Then what was I?"

"-Someone who was afraid of losing someone who means a lot to them." I answered. "It's normal to cling to hope. You're normal."

"Well, normal won't cut it here. Normal won't make plans miraculously work." he acidly spat. His blue eyes darkened into a shade reminiscent of onyx again as an equally-dark expression flitted across his face.

If this conversation would have occurred at any other time, in any other context, I would have told him not to give up hope, to keep trying but…in my current state, I knew his pain all too well, I also knew that what he'd said was all too true. He'd reached his much-put off breaking point, resigned to the fact he'd never see her again. Even so, something…felt off. Despite how dour he'd been around me, I'd always pictured him being like a fighter underneath all the doom and gloom. Someone who'd give up everything for a cause, even if he had to go against what his pessimistic view on the world was telling him.

Even though it's what I wanted, I still wished it hadn't happened like this but…I knew he'd be stuck between a rock and a hard place; there was just no way he'd be able to save her and get out here alive short of a miracle. He might think of her every day and constantly remind himself of the failures but, he was young and he still had a perfectly-good shot at building a new life. Still…that didn't make this hardship any less easy. I knew that more than anyone else.

In spite of myself, I just did what came natural to me – I got off the bed, leaned over slightly and wrapped my arms around him in a standing hug. Naturally, he tensed but… didn't fight me off, surprisingly enough. He didn't wrap his arms around me either but he didn't say anything about being discomfited either. If anything, I figured that he'd taken this moment to allow his brain to slowly accept what was happening – the Ellone aspect of it, I mean.

When the hug ran its course, I stepped back and noticed that his eyes were back to their normal colour and his hair was slowly getting back to brown again when he looked up at me. I bit my lip, bracing for another round of emotions crashing over me like waves.

I wondered if I'd overstepped my boundaries with that hug just as much as I worried about what was going on with him.

What exactly was the trigger for these changes? Or was it some randomly-occurring symptom with CET?

With Allison gone, the vaguest chance at having my questions answered was effectively reduced to zero.

That realization stung like a bandage being ripped off of a still-fresh gash. And I didn't have any topical analgesic solution to douse the fire.

Not that it would have helped anyway. This was like cutting open old wounds. There was no consolation in the fact that I'd still only have one scar in the end instead of two – it wouldn't make me forget how much it hurt going over something I'd once healed all over again.