Lord of the Phones

by Gigigue

Frodo inherits the one iPhone and goes on an epic quest to destroy it. Until all the readers realize that it's not so epic. In fact, it's downright stupid. Well, maybe not quite that far. Let's just say, insane, wacko, bizarre, weirdness. If you read, beware of mind-blowing oddity. And crazy parodies of life. That works. Yeah, now read it.

14. Cheese Curls and Avalanches

A/N: TV Announcer: And now it's time for (dramatic silence) review replying with _! (Not telling you my name.)

emberrox42: Well, I update every day, but I'm not actually writing new stuff every day. My friend Vibeka and started this end of summer 2011 and finished it right as school let out summer 2012. So the entire story from Hobbiton to Mordor and back is actually sitting in my computer totally finished and waiting to be posted. If I was writing this from scratch, then it would be more like once a week or so.

The NCISElf: Yup. Bilbo was an FBI agent. Otherwise he wouldn't have a bullet-proof vest to give to Frodo. It also makes sense considering he did spend a lot of time helping the dwarves recover their gold.

Everybody who said "Aragorn's afraid of birds?": Once again, it's one of those random spoofy things that was so funny when we thought of it that we couldn't not put it in.

I just want to remind readers that I'm posting two scenes every day. I noticed that there are less people reading the first chapter I post on a given day than the second one, and I figure it's 'cause most people are used to just clicking on the last chapter when it says I've updated. But nope, has to be the second-to-last chapter. There's so much good stuff you guys shouldn't miss!

Scene 14

(Everyone is walking on Caradhras. Snow is flying everywhere. A voice is heard over the wind muttering.)

Voice: (whispering gently) Cheese curls...

(Suddenly an avalanche of snow falls down but they aren't covered. Then it happens again and they are buried. They slowly crawl out.)

Aragorn: We can't pass this way. It is too dangerous.

Gandalf: Sauron is hindering our passage.

Gimli: We could go through the strip mall of Moria.

Gandalf: Nah, don't want to. The dwarves shopped too much and set free evil things. But I think it is the only way.

Boromir: We could go around the mountains.

Gandalf: Let the phone-bearer decide.

(Frodo thinks for a moment.)

Frodo: It'll take too long to go around. We have to go through Moria. Maybe we can buy some stuff on the way.

Gandalf: (Sigh) I hate shopping.

Legolas: I live shopping!

Gandalf: (glares) Come on.

A/N: Sorry, sorry, I know it's short. Hope you enjoyed anyways. Also, that last Legolas line was contributed by ElrondofImladris. Thanks for reviewing!