"I feel so cold." Lucy says on the train. They were boarding the train back to Magnolia, much to Natsu's reluctance. With rain pattering down and wind blowing hard it was not pleasant at all. Lucy could only wonder what Yuna was doing at that moment. Was she auditioning? Or were they done yet?
"Come here and I'll warm you up." Natsu suggests, patting the empty space next to him.
Lucy blushes but decided not to fight it and do as she's told. She should feel more comfortable with Natsu now. When she takes a seat next to him, he puts an arm around her shoulders and pulls her towards him. She slowly and hesitantly leans her head on his shoulder, a small smile gracing her lips.
The moment is too short. As soon as Lucy is completely calm, the train moves with a jolt and Natsu pushes her away. His head immediately lands on her lap as he tries to suppress the urge to puke once more. Lucy sighs. Typical.
As she pets Natsu's hair she slowly relaxes once more. Thoughts of their "first date" rewind through her head. It wasn't exactly anything special or different, same old everything really. But in a way it was different. For her at least. Natsu had eaten like a pig but he made her laugh a lot. He even pulled out her chair but forgot to push it in, so Lucy had to scoot closer to the table herself. This time though, Natsu took the bill.
The food was... Delicious but a little too much to handle for Lucy. Although she put on a face for Natsu, who didn't really seem to notice. Lucy's main course was the water, due to the spiciness. It was weird for the two of them to be alone but it made it all the more real.
Lucy would have liked to say that they walked home together but sadly they walked to the train station. Is this reality? Has this all been a dream? Is Yuna even real? How could Lucy be with Natsu? It seemed like such a far-fetched dream only a couple of days ago. And now they had just gone on a date... Well, if you really wanna call it that, anyway. Well this was a Natsu date, and it was enough for Lucy.
Lucy's hand stops petting Natsu as she begins to lose consciousness. Natsu groans. It takes a lot of effort but he reaches up for her hand. For a minute he almost wakes her up but decides against it. Instead he'll just try to refrain from vomiting on her instead.
When the train finally stops, it's pretty dark. Natsu slowly rises and holds his head, trying to get rid of his dizziness. He reaches out and nudges Lucy awake. Lucy groans and rubs her eyes. "Are we home yet?"
"Well, we're in Magnolia." Natsu replies. He stands up and offers her a hand. She takes it gladly. "So do you want to go visit the guild?"
Lucy shakes her head. "I'm so tired... We can see them tomorrow. I just wanna get home."
It's difficult for Lucy's eyes to remain open, let alone for her to walk. She can't even stand, she stumbles a little and has to reach out for Natsu's arm to keep her steady. A voice from the overhead says, "All passenger please exit now, last call."
Natsu curses and turns his back to Lucy. He leans down and motions for her to get on. "Come on, you can't even walk. I'll take you home."
"No, no, I can-" Lucy's voice is groggy. Before she can finish her sentence she falls on to Natsu's back. Natsu pulls her arms over his shoulders and wraps them around his neck, before placing his hands around her legs and picking her up.
"Damn, Lucy, you're worse when you're tired than you are when you're drunk." Natsu mutters. Lucy mumbles incoherent gibberish as she enters the land of sleep once more. Natsu makes his way out of the train and heads to Lucy's apartment. That train ride was hell, and Natsu's not gonna deny his own fatigue.
It takes a while for him to reach her house. It's dark and his eyes kept shutting. He was jolted awake when he accidentally stumbled, but he managed to catch himself. That stumble caused Lucy to stir and grunt lightly. Natsu let out a sigh of relief.
Having no other way of entering her apartment, Natsu kicks the door. It gives away easily, and Natsu makes a note in his head to fix that so no one else can break in. As he enters and turns on the lights she kicks the door closed. He makes his way upstairs and enters her room.
With an accomplished grin, Natsu throws Lucy onto the bed, following straight after. This action causes Lucy to wake up. "N-Natsu? ...Did you take me to my apartment?"
"Yup." Natsu replies, crawling under the sheets next to her. Lucy doesn't have enough energy to fight so she closes her eyes. Natsu moves closer and places an arm around her. Lucy feels the tickle of his breath but doesn't move. That is, until his lips make contact with her neck.
"N-Natsu!" Lucy cries out, completely awake. She stiffens and tries to move away but Natsu's hold is strong. "W-What are you doing?"
Natsu grins mischievously. He too is now completely awake. In a swift motion he throws a leg over her and gets up so he's on his knees staring down at her. Lucy's blush can be seen through the dark, which Natsu finds very amusing. He places a hand by her head and another in her hair as he leans down and places his lips gently over Lucy's.
Lucy is taken by surprise but responds immediately. His lips are soft, and moving in synch with her own. She opens her mouth slightly, and Natsu takes the opportunity to stick his tongue in. He savours her taste as she does his. It's as good as Lucy had ever imagined it to be.
Natsu trails kisses along her jaw before moving down and kissing her neck again. Lucy takes a sharp intake of breath. Her hands reach out for his head and play with his hair. She moves her chin up for better access. Natsu's hand that was in Lucy's hair moves down and begins to pull up her shirt.
Suddenly an image enters Lucy's mind. An image hidden so deep inside of her she almost forgot it was there. But it was. And it could never be forgotten.
"No!" With surprising force Lucy pushes Natsu away. Natsu, shocked from the sudden response, falls back off the bed. He rubs his head and gets up. Lucy is already scrambling for her blanket, using the majority of it for coverage. She's trying to hide, trying to disappear.
"Sorry about that Lucy, I guess I shouldn't have pulled a move..." Natsu says apologetically. He moves to enter the bed once more but Lucy screams and shakes her head. Natsu's head jerks up in surprise. "What is it, Lucy?"
"Get out!" Lucy screams in a shrill voice. She sounds so horrified, so scared.
Natsu feels his stomach drop. Had he caused her to feel this way? Had he been too fast? Should he have waited? Or treated her better? He should have started it off with something a lot more romantic. She would have liked that.
Natsu slowly approaches Lucy. "Look, Lucy, I made a mistake, please forgive me."
"That's what you always say! You're not sorry at all!" Lucy screams, tears streaming down her face. She's no longer seeing Natsu. She's seeing something different. Someone else.
"What I always say? What are you talking about?" Natsu asks in a hurt tone. "Lucy! It's me! Natsu! Have you gone insane?"
"Get out!" Lucy shrieks. She continues to repeat it with tears streaming down her eyes. "Get away from me!"
Natsu grabs Lucy by her wrists and envelopes her in a hug. Lucy screams at the top of her lungs, punching with her little fists at Natsu's chest. Natsu smooths out her hair with one hand, the other on her back. He whispers a "Shhh" into her ear as she continues to scream and cry.
Feeling so completely helpless, Lucy's body racks in sobs. Natsu feels like punching himself in the face. Why the hell had he pulled a move so fast? But... This is a bit extreme, isn't it? It's not like Natsu had intended to hurt her. That would be the last thing he would ever want to do to her. Why was she acting so strange?
Lucy tries to speak through her tears but it won't come out. To her, she was going through a delusion. She was back to a memory she never thought she'd ever have to face again. The one thing that has haunted her for so damn long. It's back now. Slowly Lucy begins to regain awareness of the situation around her.
"N-Natsu..." Lucy says in between sobs. She tries to push him away but he doesn't budge. "C-Can't b-breathe..."
Natsu immediately moves to give her air. Feeling very wary, Natsu backs up and moves all the way to the other end of the bed. Lucy's sobs start to die down. When they do end up stopping, Natsu breaks the silence. "Why?"
"Why?" Lucy repeats.
"I know making a move was a bad move. It was too fast, and I'm really sorry. But why did you have to go so overboard?" Natsu asks gently. His voice is shaking. "I was so scared, you were crying so hard and I didn't know why you were screaming so loud..."
Lucy begins to cry again. She covers her face with the blankets and can't speak. She doesn't want to speak. She can't say it. Speaking about it is worse than actually living in that moment, because it means you remember. And you'll always remember. It's something that stay with you until death.
"N-Natsu..." Lucy says in between her sobs. She feels so pathetic. He probably thinks she's insane, which she most likely is, but it's not something she can control. How will she ever look at Natsu the same? How will he look at her now? It feels exactly like when he walked in on her cutting.
She's totally ruined her chances. Natsu will think she's a freak. He'll never touch her again. He'll never come near her again. He's just going to say "Fuck it, she's too damn messed up." Because she is. She's messed up. She's been through messed up things that no one should. Natsu could never understand.
And yet she feels a comforting hand on her back. He's still waiting for an answer. So the question is, will Lucy tell the truth? Well, there's no getting out of Natsu's hands so she has to say it. No matter how much she despises it and doesn't want to. Natsu deserves an explanation. Especially now that their dating. Somewhat, anyway.
"Natsu, I'm so sorry..." Lucy says with a shaky voice. It cracks mid-sentence. "I'm too messed up... I shouldn't have brought you into any of this... I'm so sorry, I really am..."
Natsu shakes his head. "I didn't ask you if you were sorry. I asked you why you were acting like that."
"I-I-" Lucy can't bring herself to say it. In a small voice she says, "I-I can't say it..."
Natsu lets out a frustrated breath. "Lucy, I need to know what's going on so tell me right now before I find out by myself. And you're not going to like it when I do."
Lucy wraps her arms around Natsu and buries her head in between his shoulder and neck. Clenching Natsu's scarf in her hands, she whispers it as silently as possible, but since it is night, any noise can be heard quite clearly.
"I was raped by my father."
A/N: WHOA WAS THAT A BOMB OR WHAT.
So, uhm, I've never been raped but I'm gonna try my hardest to get the emotions in as best as I can. Tell me if I do something wrong, alright? I want this to be accurate and relatable, not some bullshit served on a platter. And I really hope I don't sound insensitive by using this topic that I virtually don't have too much information on. I promise to do some more research.
What is that, the third time I've teased you guys? Haha! Well this one got really close. And their first kiss! How was it...? *biting nails*
And woo! 200 followers! Thanks guys! It means a lot. :D