Chapter:14 The Lean, Mean, Snow Queen Machine

Elsa and Quinn soared through the air while following the shoreline. "Keep an eye out for a mine of some sort!", hollered Quinn as she led the way.

The queen observed the landscape as the sunrise illuminated it. Conflagrations of orange and red painted the hills. It was then that she spotted a rock formation with several tracks and mine carts by it. "There!", pointed Elsa as they swooped in for a landing. There they found Sven laying behind the rocks. Elsa hugged the reindeer. "It's good to see you too, dear. Stay put, we'll be back." Sven groaned and nudged Elsa to the left. "What is it, boy?" He hinted at a flowing river dipping through one of the cave's mouthes. "That may come in handy." A prison cart of lay vacant as Quinn examined the interior. She flew out holding a carrot. "Olaf's.", sighed Elsa.

"No, it's Anna's.", snapped Quinn sarcastically, causing Elsa to flick her.

The snowy duo ventured deep into the mines until they heard the echoes of men's voices. They peered from behind a stalagmite to see Boris, Hector, and Jay discussing their ransom percentages.

Quinn snapped the stalagmite's tip off and flourished it like a knife. "What are you doing?", asked Elsa.

"I'ma swoop in and stab all three of them!"

"You most certainly are not!", added Elsa. "We need to find out where Anna and the others are."

"Then can I kill them?"

Elsa ignored the question and snuck her way around the cavern, using the stalagmites to screen her movements. The snow queen's blue eyes blared open when she spotted her sister tied up in the next chamber. She stayed light on her feet and dashed for the room. Anna was asleep with her hands bound and mouth gagged. The sounds of Elsa kneeling in front of her caused her to stir. He smiled through her gag, "Effa!", she muffled.

Her sister yanked the gag down and whispered, "Anna. Thank goodness. I was so worried about you. I'm going to get you out." She looked around to see Kristoff and an explorer tied up as well.

"How did you get here so quick?", asked Anna.

"You know...pixie dust."

"But what about Arendelle?"

"Arendelle will be just fine. Kai's temporarily in charge. What could go wrong?"

She removed Kristoff's gag, "Thank you, Elsa."

And she removed Marco's. "Hellooooo beautiful.", winked Marco. The gesture caused Elsa to retag him, making it even tighter.

She formed a sharp icicle in her hand and used it to cut everyone free. "Where's Olaf?"

Quinn noticed that Boris' footrest was indeed a cage. Olaf sat inside, moping and rubbing the spot where his nose used to be. Jay chuckled, "I reckon the princess will go for at least five-hundred thousand."

"What about me?", asked Olaf. "How much am I worth?"

Boris kicked his cage. "We're keeping you, squirt. A talking snowman might sell for much more in a circus. Till then, you're our bounty."

Olaf spotted Quinn hiding with his carrot. She winked as Olaf smirked, preparing a distraction. "Well don't sell me just yet!"

"Oh?", pondered Boris as he ruffled his hair.

"That's right. I'm an entertainer back in Arendelle!"

"Entertainer? That sounds fun!", clapped Hector. "Tell us a joke! Tell us a joke!", he giggled like a manly toddler.

Olaf thought fast, "Ummmm okay okay. Why shouldn't you give Queen Elsa your balloons?"

Hector eagerly asked, "Why?"

"She'll let'em go! Let'em go!", grinned Olaf.

All three outlaws sat in silence. "I don't get it.", said Hector while rubbing his bald head.

"You would if you knew Elsa.", sighed the snowman.

"MORE JOKES! MORE JOKES!", blurted Hector.

"I got one.", said a tiny voice. "What did the carrot say to the face?"

"Oooo ooo! What?", asked Hector.

Quinn emerged in front of him, "POW!", she yelled while smacking him in the face with the vegetable.

Hector toppled over, "But carrots can't talk!", he groaned.

"Whatevs!", shrugged Quinn.

Boris stared at the fairy, "Get her!" She flew under his punch as Jay attempted to swat her with his satchel. But Quinn was too quick. She darted down the center as Boris accidentally punched Jay! Meanwhile, the obese Hector desperatley tried to stand up. He was wobbling around like a turtle on its back.

Quinn tossed Olaf his carrot. "Think fast!" He caught it and began using it to pick the lock. This quick action kept Quinn distracted and allowed Jay's bag to swat her to the ground.

"Quinn!", shrieked Olaf as he unlocked his cage. "Noooo!"

The fairy smacked the ground hard, her wings were crinkled up from the hit. Boris lifted his foot up to stomp on her like bug. He almost had her when an ice beam froze his lower half solid. "What the?"

There stood Queen Elsa, her arm stretched out as magic surged from it. "Back off!", she growled. Jay snarled and lunged forward, only to be pinned to the wall by Elsa's icicles. Hector finally got himself up, only to slip on the queen's ice and fall back again. The oaf toppled a support beam, and the cave began to shake as the entire column gave out. "To the river! Run!", yelled Elsa. Marco, Kristoff, and Anna made for the cave mouth while Olaf picked up the injured Quinn. The icy blonde used her magic in an attempt to freeze the beams back into place, but it was far too late. She turned and fled with her friends.

Boris grunted as he wildly shook himself free of the ice trap. Anna reached the edge of a set of tracks leading out the mouth of the cave. She hopped into the mine cart and urged the others to join her. Marco dove in without a second thought. Elsa leapt in after him while Kristoff helped Olaf and Quinn aboard. He was just about to get on when Boris grabbed him from behind. "Where do you think you're goin?", he jeered while yanking the mountain man back and sending the others away on their minecart.

"Kristoff!", cried Anna as the cart rolled down its incline.

Boris laughed, "Shut it, honey! As soon as I'm done with your man, I'm coming for you!

Her boyfriend recovered from the fierce tug as Boris punched him down. Kristoff had an adrenaline rush and shoved him off with a roar. The enraged ice harvester was slightly bigger than Boris, and used it to his advantage. He socked the outlaw across the face with a mighty punch and uppercutted him with a second. "I'll teach you to threaten my woman!" he punched Boris in the chest. He was about to deliver another powerful blow when Hector put him in a headlock.

The mine cart came to a screeching halt due to debris blocking the tracks. Jay fired his crossbow from a nearby ledge, pinning them down. Infuriated, Elsa unleashed her icy flurries back at him as the two were locked in a tense shootout, each ducking for cover. "I'll keep him busy!", said Elsa while she flung ice shards at Jay. "Anna, get that debris cleared out!" All was quiet. "Anna?" Her sister was nowhere to be found.

Kristoff flailed about in Hector's grapple, managing to kick Boris back. The huge criminal squeezed Kristoff tight, attempting to crush his bones. In that instant, Anna clunked an iron ingot against Hector's head, sending him staggering back. He released Kristoff, who then tripped him right into a punch from Anna. Hector hit the ground, knocked out. "Woo!", cheered Anna. "Teamwork!"

"I had him.", huffed Kristoff as he brushed the dirt off of him.

Anna saw Boris about to swing his sword at her boyfriend. "Duck!", she warned.

Kristoff crouched under the attack and elbowed Boris away. He then grabbed Anna's hand and ran for the nearest mine cart. The couple jumped in and leaned forward to gain speed.

Elsa shot another ice beam before taking cover while Olaf kept Quinn safe. She called to Marco, "You! Clear that debris and get us moving again! I can't hold him forever!"

Marco sat in the fetal position, rubbing his shoulders and softly whimpering. "But I could get shot!"

"Just do it! I'll keep him busy!", replied Elsa.

"But what if I'm not strong enough?"

Olaf assured, "You can do it, Marco!"

"No I can't!", he panicked.

Elsa was losing patience as the cave began to fully collapse around them. "We're running out of time! Move that debris!"

Marco began to tremble, "But it's so heavy! And I can't-"

"OH FOR CRYING OUTLOUD!", exclaimed Quinn, fighting through her injuries. She vaulted onto Marco's chest, slapped him twice, and yanked him by the mustache. "GROW UP, YOU BIG BABY! YOU HEAR ME? WAAAA WAAAA I'M MARCO, AND I'M JUST A BIG FAT CRYBABY! MAN UP, YOU NINNY! YOU WUSS! YOU PAAAANSY!" Marco stood in shock as Quinn kept yelling in his face, "You useless, pathetic excuse for a lifeform! You know why women can't stand you? CAUSE YOU'RE THE BIGGEST LOSER TO EVER LIVE! You fraud. You insignificant, cowardly, sobbing, FAILURE!"

The last word echoed in Marco's head. "FAILURE...FAILURE...FAILURE..." Something...snapped.

He saw a flashback...
Marco's father called to his mother. "Carmela! Come back!"

"Enough, Rafael.", she groaned while packing her bags.

Marco, only seven at the time, ran to her, "Mama? Mama? Adónde vas?"

She sighed at his teary eyes but remained stern. "Mama...needs to go."

Marco's father pleaded, "Carmela...Don't do this."

"I said, enough Rafael. This theater of yours is doomed to fail. You're already in tremendous debt."

"We will make it!"

"We? No...you.", she shook her head. "Marco...my son."

Little Marco looked up to her. "Mama?"

She stretched out her hand. "Come with me...leave this all behind. This hopeless dream of your father's...all of it."

Marco turned to see his father, depressed and weary. He ran to him. "I can't leave him, Mama. I believe in him. I believe in us. We can be the best theater in Valencia. We can do this if we stick together!"

His mother scowled. "I don't believe you. You're just like him, Marco. And like him, you too will always be a failure." The words shattered Marco's heart as he cried in his father's embrace. She turned, walked away, and never returned.

You too, will always be a failure.

Always be a failure.

A failure.

A FAILURE!

Marco's lips trembled as he scowled. His brows furrowed and his tears stopped flowing. His face turned beet red as he roared, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He yelled so loud, Quinn fell off her feet. "NO! NO! NO!" Marco leapt out of the cart, snarled, and drop-kicked the broken planks and debris. He even hoisted up a huge piece and tossed it up to Jay, breaking his cover. "NO! NO! NO!", barked Marco again. He then ran behind the cart, gave it a push and hopped in as they rolled on their way. Everyone was awestruck by the explorer's actions.

"Marco...what the?", muttered Olaf.

Marco stared Quinn down and affirmed, "I am NOT a failure!"

Quinn deviously smirked, "Darn right you're not."

"Everyone hold on!", warned Elsa as the mine cart sped up. She turned to see Anna and Kristoff riding their cart alongside theirs. Both were headed for a bridge leading out over the water, but a huge chunk of boulder smashed the rails, forming a ramp instead. Elsa closed her eyes tight.

Marco looked over the edge and took his hat off, "Madre de Dios."

Both Elsa and Anna's mine carts were launched over the ramp and sent plunging into the river below. Meanwhile, the entire cave collapsed on itself. Elsa popped up and grabbed onto Olaf as a buoy. She then kicked her way to land as Anna and Kristoff swam alongside her. Sven eagerly awaited his companions, eager to see them safely returned. Marco swam to across as well, and fell over in exhaustion, his drenched clothing clinging to his body. Holding onto his mustache, was Quiin, soaked to the bone. She caught her breath. "Ya did good, Marco. Ya did good."

Marco smirked at the fairy. "Gracias."

"I think you may have turned over a new leaf."

"Me too. I'm giving up my ways and choosing the high road. No more flirtatious antics."

Anna helped Elsa up on the shore. "Are you alright, sis?", she asked as the blonde coughed.

Marco's attitude reverted back as he turned with a grin and ran for Elsa. "Does she require mouth to mouth? If so, I'm the man for the job! If not, lemme try anyway!"

Quinn facepalmed. "He's hopeless."

Elsa stood up and regained her composure. She was suddenly swept off of her feet and into Marco's arms. Her eyes widened in bewilderment as he puckered up and leaned in. The queen grimaced and slipped out of his grasp, causing Marco's lips to meet Sven's tongue. The reindeer gave him a huge lick as he chuckled, "Ohoho, Queen Elsa, I didn't know you liked tongue kis-" He opened his eyes and fainted at the sight of Sven.

The snow queen raised an eyebrow at the peculiar foreigner, who was twitching in shock after kissing a reindeer. She looked to her sister. "Someone want to tell me what's going on around here?"