Little Sisters

Outside the building Woolsey Scott was waiting with two dark cars idling by the curb. The weather was getting even colder, the wind blowing with bone chilling gusts, and the clouds above shielding the moon from view. Magnus climbed into one of the cars and Scott directed me to the other, then he climbed inside the same car as Magnus. That's how we parted, silent and like strangers. My heart felt like tiny needles were stabbing it, digging to the core of soul where I had grown attached to Magnus. They tried to pop the part of me that loved his smile, the way he walked dominating the room he entered with one sway of his hips, the gleam in his eyes that was always filled with humor but also kindness. I fought the pain as I told the driver where to go, but it seemed he already knew.

I slumped against my seat shoving my hands into my pocket to fish out my phone. I had six missed calls from Isabelle and nine unanswered texts from Jace, all about when I would be home, and what the hell I was doing so late at night. I sighed and sent a quick message to Jace saying I was on my way home, and I would be there in half an hour. His reply was instant, he was probably hovering over his phone like a paranoid brother.

'Great. About time. Mom is already alseep, just be quiet and you'll be all good. Don't forget to lock the door.'

I sent back, 'OK thanks. Will do.'

I couldn't sleep last night. No matter how tired I was -still am- I couldn't will my eyes to close and sleep to take over. Magnus was consuming my life. I was worried about him, he was hung up on something, and was overworking himself for this fashion show. I tried to amend what I said at my house, and be friends with him, but that only seemed to upset him. What could I do to help him? I just want him to smile and be happy. I want to be next to him while he smiles and is having fun. I want to be the one to make him smile. I really want to date him. I really want to be his boyfriend. I want-

"Alec you're face is really red." Isabelle said cutting into my reverie. I looked around our lunch table to see the others staring at me too just like Izzy. I lowered my head and pulled up my hood to hide inside of. "Are you feeling okay?" She asked reaching over to touch my forehead but I swatted it away.

"I'm fine. Just tired." I half lied. I wasn't fine. How could I be fine when Magnus didn't come to school today? I tried texting him to see if he was okay, but I still haven't reseved a reply. I can't help but feel like I really screwed up last night, though I'm not entirely sure what I did wrong. Maybe I insulted his cat, he did say it was his beloved pet.

"How is the modeling going?" Clary asked casually. "Maia and Jordan seem to be enjoying it."

"It's exhausting." I replied peeking out for under my curtain-of-solitude.

"Yeah, Alec didn't get home until almost midnight yesterday." Jace said with his mouth full of pizza.

"What were you doing all night?" Isabelle asked.

I groaned. I had successfully dodged their questions this morning since I was running late having slept in, though I was mostly comatose instead of sleeping. Now I had nowhere to run and hide, I was too tired to run or to hide. My legs felt like half frozen jello, the bones jelly-like and my muscles stiff as cardboard. I want a long hot shower and a never ending massage. I doubt I could talk Izzy into that, she's truly not one for manual labor.

"I was learning how to smile correctly." I grumbled. All at once everyone's eyebrow rose in that are-you-serious way and I just had to roll my eyes. "It's harder than it looks. Not just any smile will do, and just so you know I mastered it."

"That sounds so stupid." Simon said poking at his kosher turkey sandwich, like he questioned it's kosher-ness, if that's a thing. "I can't believe you , out of all the people sitting at this table are going along with this fashion crap."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Izzy snapped pulling away from his side and staring at him with a heated glare.

Simon didn't seem affected as he spoke his mind, probably the worse trait for a boyfriend of my sister. "Alec is the only person out all of us, including myself, that wouldn't get sucked into something so mainstream as modeling, or even acting. He's too chill, relaxed and for the love of God quiet. I mean you don't think it's weird he decided to do it out of the blue? He's not exactly the A plus student, so why go for more credit than he needs?" He pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at me with dark eyes that made me feel like I was about to be outed about a secret that wasn't even my. "I just don't get why you're working so hard for something that we know you actually detest. Do you have a bet going with someone or something?"

My stomach lurched up my throat stopping any sort of refusal I was going to say. I was being strangled with my secret agreement with Magnus. I say nothing about what he does, and he doesn't tell anyone about my homosexual secret. Why did Simon have to speak? Why does he have to date my sister? Why does he have to be so goddamn annoyingly observant?

"Nerd boy has a point." Jace said looking away from Simon and towards me. I glared at Lewis and mentally punched the shit out of him while I shrugged.

"I told you guys, I was asked, and I couldn't refuse." It was the truth. Magnus wouldn't take no for and answer. "As long as I'm doing it, I might as well be good at it so I don't look like a complete fool in front of hundreds of famous people." I replied flatly as I made fists under the table to keep from actually pulverizing Simon to a bloody pulp.

"Alec, you okay?" Jace asked putting a hand on my shoulder. I looked at him slightly confused. "Your eyes are kind of bloodshot, and," His voice lowered so only I could heard him. "You're crying."

I reached up careful not to move my hair so the others couldn't see, and found that Jace was right. My face was wet and I couldn't stop the tears. I jumped to my feet and pulled the oversized hood further over my head as I turned to leave.

"Alec?" Izzy called after me in a concerned voice. I ignored her as I hurried out of the cafeteria and down the empty hall hoping to take refuge in the boys bathroom for the rest of the day.

I didn't get that lucky. I was tackled and pushed into an alcove that was windowed and looked over the garden in the center of the school. I tried to fight the person off but they twisted my arm behind my back and kept it there, sending a wave of pain up my shoulder. I was pinned between the window and my annoying sister, the only person to cheat and hold me in this wrestling move.

"Get off Izzy." I growled at her.

"Not until you talk to me Alec." She said leaning around me so I could see her face over my shoulder. Her eyes were serious and unwavering. I hate when she gets like this, she won't rest until she gets her way. Damn the Lightwood stubbornness. "Why have you been so emotional lately? Why won't you talk to me? Or Jace? We're your family you can talk to us, we love you." Her voice softened and trembled slightly.

Her words only made more tears fall. When did my life become so complicated? I don't like it. I hate it. What happened to the simple high school life I use to lead? Oh right, it was torn down by a tornado. I gorgeous tornado that I fell helplessly for, now it was just making things more complicated. I have to rebuild the mess it left behind. Maybe things will be better this time. I have Isabelle and everyone. . . I'll just start with Izzy.

"Izzy," I said in a half cough half cry. I paused to try to control my tone. "What if I told you I was... I was gay?"

There was silence, and her face went blank. Her grip slipped on my arm and I pulled free turning to face her head on. She stared back at me tilting her head to the side inspecting me like I was someone else. My heart clenched and I felt sick to my stomach. Regret was building inside my chest as more tears spilled from my eyes. Thank God no one was in the hall to see my pathetic crying. I thought as I wiped my nose on the sleeve of my hoodie.

"So?" Izzy suddenly challenged as she pulled at my sleeve and guiding it to under my eyes where she wiped my tears away, though only more continued to fall. I stared down at my sister completely dumbfounded. "What's the problem with being gay? Is that why you're crying like a baby?" She tried to tease and I just continued to stare.

"Y-You're okay with it? . . . I mean, with me?" I gapped unable to handle what was happening. It was like a dream. A good terrific dream that seemed so out of my reach that I had nearly given up on believing in it.

"Alec, you're my brother. I'm fine with whatever you do, except when you steal my last chocolate. Some lines you just don't cross with a girl. But seriously is that what's had you so worked up the last few weeks?" She asked lowering my sleeve and taking my hand. Her hand was firm in my and warm and reassuring. It was everything I ever wanted when I finally spoke my secret. More tears welled up in my eyes as I pulled Izzy into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around me patting my back. I love my sister.

"It's not really the whole reason." I muttered into her shoulder. "You know Magnus?"

"You like him." She stated and my heart flipped in my chest then tightened painfully, both happy to have it known but also sad to know it wouldn't go any where.

"Yeah, but I screwed up." I cried and her arms tightened around me.

For the next several minutes I explained everything that happened between and Magnus, except I subbed his owning a huge fashion dynasty for him just working there. Isabelle listened and didn't interrupt, for once it was just about me and my problems, instead of her hair issues, or her lack of control over Simon, or some other girl problem that I don't understand. When I was done she was very serious in her reply.

"Then just tell him how you feel. Come out to everyone and he would have anything over you and he won't be able to manipulate you."

I sniffled and wiped at my face again with my now damp sleeve. "He's not going to listen to me. That's why I'm doing this stupid fashion show. I need him to look at me. Right now I'm just the quiet closeted boy that he doesn't have any connection to." Izzy nodded and crossed her arms.

"Well then I hope you make him see how amazing you are." She smiled. I stared down at her feeling my own smile take over my face. "He's an idiot to not date you after everything you've done for him; the book project, modeling, and caring for him so much. Damn Magnus is lucky, I wish I had a boy to care about me as much as he does." She finished with a mock sigh and I ruffled her hair teasingly.

"Just don't tell anyone else. I'll get there on my own." I said blushing as I looked out at the withered and dead garden. Winter can be brutal, not just to plants but to people too.

"Oh I get to be special." She giggled. "No problem, bro. I got it." She beamed up at me and I knew I could trust her. Izzy may love gossiping, but she has boundaries, I'm glad I'm one of them.

"Love ya Iz."

"Love ya too."

Here is Tuesday's official chapter. Sorry it lacks Magnus glittering person, but main characters need time away from their love interests to build the emotions. Besides Izzy needed to look less like a self-centered witch, cause she really does care and that's why I like her. Also note: IT PAINED ME TO WRITE MEANLY ABOUT SIMON. I love him but someone had to push Alec, and he has the personality to do it. I SHED A TEAR WRITING IT, but it had to be done.

I love you SIMON LEWIS.

Thanks for reading, comment, review, rant.

:) Have a good day