Edgar slowly got up from the kitchen table and, with a final look towards his older and intoxicated brother, slunk quietly from the room.
"Goodnight, Edgarrr," Norman slurred softly as he left.
Edgar stopped, his back to both of his brothers and answered without a hint of sarcasm, "I hope you feel better, Norman."
"I couldn't feel any b..b..better than I do rrright now," Norman responded drunkenly.
You won't be saying that in the morning, tough guy, Sig thought to himself.
Edgar left the kitchen and headed upstairs. As fast as possible, he brushed his teeth and washed his face in the bathroom sink. Then he headed to his bedroom, shutting the door softly behind him. He flipped off the lights and climbed into bed. Oh God, Norm, what were you thinking? How is Sig going to handle this? Edgar started to get worried but stopped himself. I trust my oldest brother. He'll handle it right. No need to worry. Just in case, Edgar sent up a little prayer to his mother. He asked her to help Sig do the right thing and to give him patience and understanding. You can never have enough help, right?
Then he leaned over and turned on his clock radio. He flipped through the radio stations for a minute, looking for the one he wanted. When the dial ended up on the country music station, he stopped and rested his head back down on the pillows. Edgar liked all kinds of music, he wasn't picky and he didn't have a favorite. Tonight, he rolled over on his side, hugging the blankets around him and drifted off the sleep to the sounds of country music, his small tribute to their middle brother.
Sig watched his younger brother move uneasily over to the kitchen table and almost fall on the floor. Sig caught him and guided him over to one of the chairs, putting Norm's arms on the table for support. When he was sure his brother was secure, he turned, closed and locked the inside door of the kitchen.
Sig didn't want to turn back around and face this mess in front of him. He was livid at his brother for pulling a stunt like this, regardless of the reasons, none of which would have justified this behavior. Sig felt pretty close to punching Norman's lights out when a soft, unexplainable wave of patience and understanding washed over him like a warm summer's breeze. Where did that come from? Sig found his footing, refocused his anger and turned to face his drunk brother.
Norm was resting his cheek in his hand, elbow bent and leaning on the table, slipping occasionally. He flashed Sig the most amazing smile. Sig fought back the deep urge to wipe the smile right off his face.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Sig asked, trying to keep his voice at a reasonable tone. He was not about to get Edgar all upset hearing his brother yelling.
Norman just continued to stare at his brother with the biggest smile.
"Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?" Sig asked, again trying to keep himself under control.
Norman lost the power to keep his elbow bent and his arm slipped down to the table, his head almost following. Norman thought that was rather funny and started laughing softly at himself.
At this point, Sig started talking to himself out loud because apparently that was the only way he was going to have a normal conversation. "I can see that you think this is funny, a veritable laugh riot. You have no idea right now what you have done, do you? I don't even know if you know where you are. It's pointless for me to try and reason with you in your current state…"
"That would be the ssstate of Washington, not D.C." Norman interjected his help with a nod.
Sig restrained himself. He continued on with his one-sided conversation. "Dad just said to me not four hours ago, Your Brothers Are Safe In Your Care. Oh my holy God, if dad knew about this, he'd take that statement back in a New York minute. Then he would kill you, make me watch him killing you and then kill me. No, I take that back. Killing is too quick. First he'd strap me good for not keeping track of you, not caring one bit that I'm 18. Then he would give you the strapping of your life. Then the killing would begin. That's pretty much how things would go."
Norman listened to his oldest brother rambling on and thought Sig seemed like the funniest guy in the world. It was like his own personal stand-up act performed just for him. When did my older brother become such a comedian? Norm decided to show his appreciation for the show like any respectful audience and started giving his brother a hearty round of applause.
Sig heard the clapping, listened to it for a second or two and then lost it. He turned on his brother, grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him up the steps, knocking over the kitchen chair in the process. Norman didn't even know what was happening. On a good day, it would have been an even fight between the two of them but this was not a good day. Norman was in no shape to resist, even if he had known what was about to happen. He was forced to let his older brother manhandle him through the house, up the stairs and into the bathroom.
When Norman realized where he was, he tried to explain to Sig that he already took a leak in the abandoned parking lot a few streets down from the house where he went to get himself "liquored up." Sig's only response was to shut the bathroom door and drag his brother over to the shower, turning the water on full blast, ice cold full blast.
Norman finally realized what they were doing in the bathroom. He tried to put up a fight but between the fear of the icy water, the quick motions he made up the steps and the world, which was suddenly spinning out of control, he started to get very sick to his stomach. Sig turned around from the shower, his right hand still grabbing on to his brother's shirt and saw the greenish face looking back at him. Sig recognized that look immediately and got his brother over to the porcelain god in the nick of time.
Norman collapsed to his knees and started vomiting his guts out, holding on to the sides of the toilet for dear life. Sig left the shower water running so that the noise of the shower would drown out the noise of the painful vomiting. That's the last thing I need Edgar to hear. He did change the water temp. over to hot and let the bathroom fill up with steam. He then left his brother vomiting over the toilet to go and get a clean pair of shorts and shirt from Norman's dresser and a washcloth and towel from the hallway closet. Sig came back into the bathroom, shutting the door, to find his brother still vomiting into the toilet.
Sig couldn't help himself. He commented smartly, "Serves you right."
Norman heard him and between sessions of heaving, he asked in an angry voice, "Why is it that when Edgar gets in trouble, he gets sweet, caring big brother and when I get in trouble, I get mean, non-compassionate big brother?"
Sig laughed, ran the washcloth under cold water from the sink and sat on the edge of the tub. Norman looked over at him disgustedly, his face still half in the toilet bowl. Sig gave him a sympathetic look and explained the best he could, "Listen, and don't get me wrong, I love Edgar to the moon and back but you, you're more than just my brother…" Sig leaned over and whispered in his ear "…you're my best friend, Norman. Can't lose my best friend. Then where would I be?" Then Sig placed the cool washcloth over his brother's neck and rubbed his sore shoulders gently.
No one in history had sobered up faster than Norman Hansen at that very moment. He managed to expel the last of the contents of his stomach into the toilet, all the while, his big brother tried to comfort him the best he knew how, rubbing his back and wiping the vomit off his face with toilet paper. When Norman was sure he had nothing left to offer the porcelain god, Sig took the washcloth off his neck and handed it to him. Norman wiped his forehead and mouth and leaned back against the bathroom wall. Sig turned off the shower for a minute and went and sat next to his brother on the bathroom floor. It is somewhat interesting the places I end up, first the kitchen floor and now the bathroom floor. Pretty soon, I'll be sitting on the garage floor.
Norman felt his brother sit next to him but he couldn't look at him. He continued looking at his feet. He must have smelled something terrible but Sig still sat next to him.
Sig put an arm around his brother's shoulders and asked a simple question, "Why?" although he already knew the reason.
Norman had nothing left to use as resistance. He was completely drained, no sarcasm or spunk left in the tank. He started crying quietly, feeling the tears burn his eyes and then run down his face. He explained brokenly, "I don't know…All those years of thinking he didn't care about it, like it meant nothing to him…do you know how many times I left that kitchen table feeling like the worse son in the world?"
"As a matter of fact, I do – from personal experience," Sig answered honestly.
"One word, Sig, just one word after it was over…well, other than the 'let's not have this conversation again' comment which doesn't count in my book...would have made sooo much of a difference. It would have meant the world to me. He could have said, 'Good job, you took it well' or 'sorry but it needed to be done' or…" Norman started crying pretty hard and buried his face in his hands.
"Everything's forgiven and I love you?" Sig offered quietly.
Norman only nodded, his head in his hands and cried harder. Sig rubbed his shoulder a little and thought, That's what I wanted, too, tough guy. Don't be embarrassed.
"Why did he let us suffer like that when it really did mean something to him?" Norman asked resentfully through the tears.
"I don't know, Norman. Maybe because he can't show it or he always wants us to think he's made of steel or that's how he was raised or a million other things. It's just the way he is," Sig tried to explain the only way he knew how.
Norman looked up and over at his brother, tears still running down his face. "You always stick up for him, no matter what," Norman said with resignation, "It should have been different and you know it, I know you do. That's why you were so good to Edgar when you punished him. How did you know to do it like that?"
"I didn't. I just treated him like I always wanted to be treated when I got in trouble and had to be punished," Sig had to confess to himself that he also had a lot of guidance and help from heaven but he didn't share that with Norman. He didn't think Norman would understand.
"And Edgar doesn't think you're weak for being like that with him. Jesus, he thinks the sun rises in your eyes. I can see how much he trust and respects you now. My God, it's like you're his hero." Norman recognized the jealousy in his own voice and took it down a notch. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that. I am just so fucking angry."
"Ask yourself, Norman, would it have been better if dad never told you? You would have spent the rest of your life thinking it didn't matter. Is that what you would have wanted, if you had the choice?" Sig asked patiently.
Norman really had to think about that question and, in the end, he couldn't come up with an answer. He only buried his head again and muttered, "I don't know…it's overwhelming…like he saved up 17 years worth of love and gave it to me all in one five minute phone call."
"Better five minutes then never…at least that's how I feel," Sig said gently.
Norman started crying again and Sig could only hold his arm around his brother and let him have his cry. After some time, when Norman had quieted down to mere sniffles, Sig suggested strongly, "You smell awful…I mean it…you smell like a bar room floor."
Norman laughed a little and raised his head, "I guess I need shower after all."
"You o.k., can you handle it by yourself, because if not, I'd love to toss your ass in some ice cold water fully dressed and save myself the trouble of washing your clothes?" Sig said as he picked himself up off the bathroom floor. He reached down and helped his brother up with ease.
Norman was a little wobbly but he righted himself and took a few breaths. "I got it, no need for an audience. Not many people can handle the gun show anyway."
"Good, use soap, will ya? That's what it's there for," Sig said as he tossed Norman a clean towel from off the rack and left the bathroom. He heard the shower start again a few seconds later. Sig opened Edgar's bedroom door quietly and checked on him. The kid was sound asleep and hopefully hadn't heard a thing. Then Sig went downstairs, righted the overturned kitchen chair that got knocked over during the previous encounter and turned off the lights, not before filling a large glass of ice water from the sink and grabbing two aspirin from the cabinet by the door.
Norman quickly showered, allowing himself a few more tears in the process and got out of the tub carefully. He noticed for the first time his brother had brought in clean clothes for him and could have kicked himself for the 'mean, non-compassionate big brother' comment earlier. You're my best friend, Norman. Oh, Shit, what have I done? Norman pushed those thoughts aside for now because he couldn't cry anymore. The headache was starting and he needed to go to sleep. He dressed quickly, brushed his teeth and towel dried his hair. He left the dirty clothes and towel on the floor. Tomorrow, he thought, I'm too tired now.
When he got to his room, his big brother was waiting for him with a glass of ice water and two aspirin. Norman took both gladly, taking the pills and swallowing the water till the glass was empty. Sig waited and then took the empty glass from him. Then he pulled the covers back from Norman's bed and his brother practically fell into the soft landing. Sig replaced the covers and turned off the light.
Norman curled up in his bed and looked up at his big brother in the moonlight from his open window. "I'm in a lot of trouble, aren't I?" Norman asked, although he already knew the answer.
Sig sat down next to him on the bed and rubbed his shoulder lightly over the covers. "We'll talk about it tomorrow after dinner when you're feeling better."
"I don't think I'm going to be feeling better after tomorrow night, either," Norman grumbled.
Sig laughed and said softly, "Get some sleep now, you're wiped out. You have to get up early for work tomorrow. Don't forget, you're taking the kid with you."
Norman buried his head in the pillow and groaned, "Oh shit, Edgar."
"Yes, Edgar…forgot about him, didn't ya?" Sig said with meaning. "You're going to need to talk to him about all this, understood?'
Norman nodded his head into his pillow. Now he had two difficult conversations coming up tomorrow instead of just one.
Sig rubbed his brother's shoulder for a few minutes and felt Norman relax. He then went to leave out the door when he heard a soft voice say quietly, "Sig…you're my best friend, too."
Maybe not after tomorrow night, Sig couldn't stop his inner thought quick enough.
The day dawned rainy and miserable, a reminder that this was still Seattle and it was still early summer. Despite the weather outside, Edgar woke up full of sunshine and happiness. He was very excited to be going with Norman to work today.
Too bad Norman didn't feel the same way about going to work today. He woke up with a massive headache and a sore neck, shoulders, stomach, come to think of it, a sore everything.
Sig had made his second pot of coffee before their middle brother crawled into the kitchen, stopping only to drop his dirty clothes from last night into the washer. Edgar was already finished his eggs and bacon, made by the world's greatest cook, in his humble opinion and was ready to go. He was glad to see older brother solidly on his feet and sober, although somber was a better way to describe Norman's mood.
Edgar had already asked Sig what happened last night and got an answer that would satisfy a 13 year old. Sig told Edgar: Norman got a shower, felt better and went to bed. When Edgar pressed about Norman being in trouble, he got a cryptic response that things would be discussed tonight and was told not to worry about it. Edgar didn't want to listen to that advice but he knew he had no control over it so he let it go. He trusted Sig without question.
Norman was standing by the phone when it rang and he winced from the sound, grabbing his head and picking up the phone so it would stop making it's awful noise.
It was Matt, Edgar's best friend, and Edgar got on the phone. They talked for a minute and then Edgar asked Sig if he could go over to Matt's house this evening. Matt and his older brother, Nick, were going to see a movie and asked Edgar to come along.
Sig was secretly grateful for the invitation for two reasons. One, Matt and his brother were good guys, the kind of friends Edgar should have been hanging out with instead of the scum down at "The Shack" and he had lost contact with his good friends for the last few months. Sig was happy to hear that Matt still wanted to be friends with Edgar because he was a good friend to have. The second reason Sig was grateful was that now Edgar was going to be out of the house when Sig had his discussion with Norman. That would make things just a tiny bit easier.
Sig gave his permission gladly and Edgar told Matt he be over around 5:00. Matt's brother would drop him back off at the house by 9:00 – the long established curfew time for the youngest household member.
Norman went upstairs to get ready for work, forgoing breakfast as he didn't have the stomach for it anyway. He just made his usual cup of tea and took it with him. Sig pulled Edgar aside, asking him to give Norman some space today, to try and be quiet and stay out of the way. Edgar nodded his understanding and would have been as quiet as a church mouse if it meant he got to go to the hardware store. Sig then ruffled his kid brother's hair and told him to have fun tonight, shoving a twenty dollar bill in the kid's hand and leaving out the garage before Edgar could respond.
Edgar stood there with the money in his hand and listened to the Trans Am start up and pull out of the garage. How did I get so lucky because I don't deserve to have these guys for brothers? He shoved the money in his back pocket of his jeans for later. Quickly, Edgar packed four sandwiches, snacks and drinks for lunch and then waited anxiously by the kitchen door for Norman.
The ride to work was a quiet one. Edgar wanted to ask Norman all sorts of questions about his work and what it was like and would he show him all the different tools but he wisely sensed that now was not the time. His brother looked all the worse for wear, dark circles under his eyes, his lips chapped and he was driving with his head resting against his left hand.
Edgar did take note that Norman's right hand was on the steering wheel, ringless, unlike their oldest brother. Norman should be getting his own class ring soon since he was starting his senior year in the fall. Hopefully, he'd be getting his class ring. Edgar wondered if their father would remember something like that now that mom was gone. Picking out a class ring was something that would have normally fallen into mom's department.
When they got to the hardware store, Norman parked in the lot and unlocked the front door. He flicked on the lights and went about readying the place for opening. Edgar just stood there, inhaling the greatest fragrance he ever smelled. It's hard to imagine, but if Edgar could have, he would have found a way to bottle the smell. It was a mixture of sawdust, metal and man. Edgar loved the hardware store, LOVED it. He loved coming here with his father and brothers to buy super cool tools and other supplies. He could have lived here all the time and been happy and he was very envious when Norman got this job for the summer. For Edgar, a job like this would have been a dream come true. Now, he got to help his brother and it was almost like he had the dream job for himself.
Norman quickly put Edgar to work, stacking shelves with boxes and organizing tools. It was Monday and the traffic in the store was light, just a few older gentlemen, retired fishermen, stopped in for a few things and asked Norman about their father. Despite feeling lousy, Norman was very respectful and polite, telling them their father was well and out on a Salmon trip. The old fisherman grumbled about the market price for Salmon being so low that the processors were practically robbing the poor fishermen blind. Norman agreed and asked after their wives, families and the latest gossip. It was a small community and everyone knew everyone. The older gentlemen stayed for a bit and then wandered out.
Before long, it was time for lunch. Since Norman had no one working with him, he had to eat at the front counter. Edgar came and joined him, bring the packed lunches with him. He gave Norman three of the sandwiches and kept one for himself. Norman hadn't realized how hungry he was until the offering was put before him and he ate like a man starved. Edgar just smiled and ate his lunch too.
Norman began to feel more like himself after the meal and he looked over at his little brother. No one was in the store so he figured now was as good a time as any.
"Edgar, about last night…" Norman started.
Edgar anticipated this conversation happening at some point today but he didn't want to humiliate his brother by letting him talk about it so he interrupted, "Yeah, you're ok, though. Everything turned out fine."
Norman gently grabbed his little brother's arm and pulled him closer to him, turning him so that they were facing each other. "No, everything is far from fine. I never should have come home like that. For that matter, I should have never gotten like that to begin with, period. But you especially should have never seen me like that. I'm sorry if I scared you. I was angry and upset but there are no excuses for what I did. Plain and simple, I did a very stupid thing and I am ashamed of myself."
Edgar lowered his head but Norman put his hand on the side of his brother's face and raised it, rubbing his cheek gently, "I'm sorry, Edgar."
"Are you in trouble?" Edgar asked softly.
"I got drunk and drove home intoxicated. What do you think?" Norm gave him a little smile. "Those things are never ok to do at my age or yours."
Edgar's eyes got teary as he looked into his brother's blue ones, "You're gonna get punished, aren't you?" he whispered and a tear slipped down his cheek, onto his brother's hand.
Norman smiled reassuringly, "I think that is a foregone conclusion. Listen to me, please don't worry. I'm a big kid and I know when I've screwed up. I'll gladly take whatever's comin' my way, ok. Please, I don't want you to worry about it." Norman didn't give Edgar a chance to argue, he just pulled him into his chest and put his arms around him. Edgar hugged him back tightly and buried his face in his brother's big bicep.
"Isn't that sooo sweet," said a deep, menacing voice that dripped with sarcasm.
Norman and Edgar pulled away from each other and found Elliot and four of his cronies from "The Shack" standing at inside the front entrance of the store. They were big guys, all of them and they just read "trouble" from first sight. Edgar let out a little gasp. On pure instinct, Norman pushed himself in front of Edgar, hands at his side, hidden baseball bat under the counter easily within reach of right hand, his left holding his brother's arm behind him.
"Can I help you guys?" Norman asked casually.
The five of them walked slowly up to the counter and Norman put his hand in the end of the bat.
"Maybe, we hear there are some fat cats in the area this summer, looking for a place to hold some illegal gambling and we'd like to help them out, since we have the perfect place for it. We're looking for wooden card tables, lots of them. I hear these guys are sharks at poker. Of course, they haven't met me yet," Elliot explained, not once looking in Norman's direction. He was too busy casing the store and seeing if there was anything worth stealing at a later date.
One of his cronies pulled out a cigarette and went to light it.
"Adam, isn't it?" Norman asked him.
The guy stopped in mid flick of his lighter. "Yeah, I graduated with your brother. Super sweet ride I see him driving around town in these days. Graduation present from good ole' mom and dad?"
"No, my brother worked four years to buy that car himself. No one gave it to him." Norman replied softly, with meaning. Figures the guy doesn't have taste in automobiles.
"Interesting concept," Adam replied, going to light his cigarette.
"Adam, the sign out front says No Smoking," Norman warned him flatly, staring him down. Not that you can read.
Adam stared back hard and then over to Elliot, making it clear that Elliot was their leader. Elliot just shook his head and Adam shrugged, extinguished his lighter, putting the cigarette back in his pocket.
Elliot turned his attention to Edgar, eyeing him up and down. 'We miss you down at the track, little man."
"Yeah, he means we miss the money you made us!" Another guy added with an evil laugh. Norman vaguely remembered this guy from school too. His name was Joe, he was Adam's younger brother and he had dropped out several years back. He would have been graduating with Norman now if he had stayed in school. Loser.
"The place hasn't been the same without you. When you comin' back? We could use some spending cash." Adam sneered in Edgar's direction.
Norman felt Edgar start to tremble behind him and he squeezed his brother's arm for reassurance and pulled him close.
"I'll only tell you one time, do NOT speak to my brother, ever." Norman said in a tone Edgar had never heard him use before.
"Or what?" Joe asked, hands up in the air. It was a clear challenge.
As fate (or someone from above looking out for them) would have it, a police car pulled into the parking lot and two officers got out, their presence clearly visible through the large store-front windows. The officers were headed to the coffee shop next door but their presence alone was enough to startle the group. Several of them already had warrants out for their arrest.
"I don't think you're gonna find what you're looking for here. Try the game store down the road." Norman was thanking every saint in the book. He was a strong guy but it was five against one, well, maybe one and half and a baseball bat but those still weren't good odds.
"You know, I think you're right. We are in the wrong place, boys," Elliot said. Then he leaned over the counter and looked directly at Edgar, "We'll be seein' ya real soon, little man."
Edgar dropped his eyes like rocks.
"Not likely," Norman hissed, moving so that he was blocking Elliot's gaze.
Elliot just laughed, shooting Norman a hateful look, turned and ushered his cronies out the door.
As the door closed behind them, Norman let out a big sigh of relief. He turned towards his brother and saw the fear in his eyes. The kid was shaking like a leaf. Norman gathered him up in his arms and rubbed the back of his hair gently. "It's ok, little brother. They're gone."
Edgar was trembling in his big brother's arms. "You don't know, Norman, what those guys can do. I've seen it. I've seen them beat people almost to death and laugh about it later," he said in a shaky voice. "They scare me" he whispered.
"You got nothing to worry about. The gun show is always open for business, remember. You don't ever have to see them again. Sig and me, we'd never let anything happen to you," Norman said softly in his ear, nuzzling his nose a little against his temple.
Yeah, but who's gonna protect the two of you? Edgar thought.
The afternoon was uneventful, except for a pretty blond from Edgar's class that came in with her dad. Edgar was clearly interested in this girl, his eyes following her around the store. Norman walked past Edgar, noticed and gave him a little shove, pushing him to think about the tools he was organizing and not the little blond with the light blue eyes walking up and down the aisles.
Business was slow and the afternoon dragged on. Finally, it was 4:30 and Norman's relief showed up. The brothers packed up their things and headed for the truck.
Norman began the drive to Matt's house to drop off his brother. Edgar was sitting next to him in the truck, rubbing at his cheek. Norman noticed but didn't say anything. He tried to talk to Edgar about the pretty blond that came in the store and offered that maybe she would be at the movie theater tonight. He attempted to distract his brother with a sampling of different pick up lines Edgar could try if the pretty blond did in fact show up. Some of them were just horrible and Edgar ended up laughing hysterically. The distraction worked for awhile.
When the truck pulled up in front of Matt's house, Norman turned to his brother with a big smile. "Have a great time tonight."
Edgar looked like he was going to start crying again. But what's going to happen to you tonight? He turned and looked sadly at his brother.
Norman wasn't going to coddle him. It wouldn't have helped so he said slowly and with meaning, "Get out of the truck and go have fun with your friends."
Edgar still stared at him.
"Now," Norman tried to mimic Sig's tone of authority but he just didn't have the knack. How did my big brother develop that tone so quickly?
Edgar's reaction was only to slide over on the seat and latch on to his big brother with both arms.
I have to coddle and cuddle him, great. Norman hugged him back tightly and whispered in his ear, "Come on, kid. You think I'm not as brave as you. Give me some credit. I'm a Hansen, after all."
Norman allowed the hug for a minute or two and then peeled his little brother off of him. "Go, I mean it. Please just go and have fun with your friends. It will make me very happy to hear about all the fun you had tonight. Come tell me when you get home, ok?"
Edgar gave his brother one final sad look and got out of the truck. Norman gave him a smile and drove away. Edgar stood there, watching the tail lights fade in the distance. Then he turned and headed up to Matt's house, pretending a smile on his face.
When Norman got home, Sig already had dinner on the table. A simple meal of spaghetti and meatballs with fresh bread from the local store was on the menu.
Norman washed his hands and sat down across from his brother like always. The two of them talked about their day like always, too. Sig asked how Edgar was at the store and Norman filled him on the great job Edgar did and that, in the end, he was a great worker and had been a big help.
Norman filled Sig in on the visit from Elliot and his cronies. Sig had a few choice words, some in English, and some in Norwegian, about this visit and what he would do if he ever heard of these guys near either of his brothers again.
Norman also filled him in on the local old timer gossip and the pretty blond that seemed to catch Edgar's eye.
They both agreed Edgar was going to go for the blonds all his life and the two of them had a laugh - that would make all three of them casting their lines in that direction.
Sig shared some of his day, the comings and goings at the docks and the gossip about the upcoming crab season. The two of them talked for awhile about other things and finished dinner together. Then Norman washed the dishes, pots and utensils and Sig dried them and put them away. When he was finished, Norman went and sat back down at the kitchen table. He waited quietly and patiently for Sig to finish putting everything away.
Sig was stalling. He tried as long as he could not to turn around because once he did, he'd have to face punishing his little brother. The little brother he played with, fought with, got in trouble with, the one he grew up with. The one he couldn't remember a time without. His best friend.
Norman waited and wondered what was going to happen. He already knew in his heart he deserved whatever punishment his brother had intended for him. He was ready to take a strapping or a spanking or a paddling or any combination there with in. Maybe I'll get to hear the story about mom and the mystery paddle. Might be worth it, just to get that information out of my brother, well…maybe not. It didn't matter. He was going to take this punishment and be glad for it because he knew he fucked up royally and the look in Edgar's eyes today was all the motivation for guilt he needed. Once he completely sobered up, he felt the guilt start to eat away at his stomach, like a knot with its own life.
He watched his brother finish what he was doing, take a very deep breath and turn around.
Sig came and sat at the table across from his brother; he didn't stand over him or lean on the counter. He sat with him right at his level, his hands on the table, playing with and twisting his class ring. The two of them stared just stared at each other.
"Norman, I don't even know where to start," Sig admitted after a few moments of silence.
"Me neither," Norman responded honestly. Then he thought of something and acted like he came up with the idea on his own. "Why don't we do this? You can ask me any questions, any questions you want and I promise to give you an honest answer, no matter how hard. Then I get to ask you any questions I want and it's up to you if you want to be honest or not. Sound like a plan?"
Sig squinted his right eye and cocked his head to the side. How the hell…? Then he just closed his eyes and smiled. Way to follow my lead, kid. I love you, littlest brother.
"Ok, I think I can do this. Me first. Where did you get the whiskey?' Sig asked.
"Dad," they both answered that one at the same time. The two of them had snuck enough of their father's alcohol out of the house over the years to know.
A knowing smile crossed both their lips at the same time.
Sig tried to get serious again.
"Ok, that question doesn't count. Where did you go?" Sig asked.
"Down to the abandoned parking lot," Norman answered.
"By yourself?" Sig asked.
"The whole time," Norman replied.
"Why didn't you tell me where you were going?" Sig pressed.
"Because you wouldn't have let me go," Norman answered.
"So you knew what you were doing was wrong?" Sig asked a little bit softer.
"Yes," was the soft reply.
"And you got drunk, by yourself, with no one around to protect you?" Sig asked, like me, your big brother, who is always supposed to protect you.
"Yes," was the reply again.
"And then you drove home drunk. Even if it was a few blocks, you were still behind the wheel of your truck completely wasted?' Sig asked the question he already knew the answer too, just to hear his brother say it. Sadly, he didn't get the response he hoped for.
"Yes, I drove home drunk. I risked my beautiful truck and put her in danger. I didn't think of Edgar and his reaction or how scared he might have been to see me like that. It was an extremely poor example to set for my younger brother and I told him so today. I came in the house drunk without a single thought to my little brother seeing me or my behavior." Norman admitted freely.
"OR WITH A SINGLE THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN YOURSELF KILLED, God damn it, Norman!" Sig yelled, pounding his fist on the table, sending the salt and pepper shakers flying.
Sig stood up and screamed at his brother, "Didn't this family lose enough already this year, this lifetime? I would have died if something had happened to you. Edgar would have never recovered. Didn't you think of that, did you think of us at all?" Hot tears of anger and fear were burning Sig's eyes and as much as he wanted, he couldn't stop them from falling. He turned away from his brother and closed his eyes. Shit, I'm sorry.
Norman flinched at the pounding of the table and his brother's tone, but mostly he flinched at his brother's words. They stung more that anything he ever felt before because they were brutally true. Norman hadn't thought of anyone but himself. Not once did he think of how his brothers would have been devastated if something had happened to him.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Sig…please…" Norman broke down crying right in front of his brother. He buried his hands in his face and wept. He was never so ashamed in his life, thinking of how much he could have hurt his family, especially since they had all been through enough already.
A minute late, Norman felt his brother lift him out of his chair and hold him against his chest. Norman didn't feel worthy of it and tried to pull away but Sig would have none of that. He pulled Norman back into his arms and held him while he cried. Norman sobbed against his brother chest and begged weakly, "Please just punish me for this, please. Please stop talking about it. It's kill me. Please just punish me…"
"Shhh, we'll get to that. Just calm down, I'm sorry I lost my temper; it's just that…I'd be lost without you. I love you, bro." Sig said softly against his brother's ear, rubbing his back in comforting circles.
To be continued…
So, how would you handle your 17 year old brother who was drinking and driving? Sig already has his mind made up (and you may be surprised, maybe not) but feel free to add your thoughts.