Bucky finds himself walking past the door of the lab again, after Steve had pulled him aside when him and Ana were done. Steve brought him along the car garage to show him a new motorcycle Clint had brought in. Apparently finding it on the side of the road, for free. Bucky didn't ask questions. The door is ajar and the lights off. He stops short. Something had moved and that's strange because no one is there. He turns back, poking his head through the opening.
Ana is sitting in the dark, the light of the computer screen illuminating her face. She's holding her chin in her hand, the corners of her mouth pulled into a frown. He wonders briefly what's she's doing in the dark, when he hears a quiet sniff. Ana moves her hand to wipe under her eye, and he realizes with a jolt that she's crying.
That's...that's worrisome. Bucky hasn't seen Ana anything but happy, if a little sassy at times, but happy and positive all the same. Watching her in the dark like this, as she wipes away another tear is gut wrenching. He doesn't think tears should belong on a face that's usually so chipper.
He wonders if something happened during the day. If someone had said something to upset her, to hurt her. A surge of protectiveness rises in him, curling around his chest. It's then that Ana lets out a sob, the sound loud in the empty room. She drops her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking.
Bucky has no idea what happened. He has to know why she is breaking down by herself. She shouldn't have to be alone, she shouldn't even be crying. She seemed completely fine two hours ago when they parted.
Then it hits him like a cinder block to his face. Ana is alone because she doesn't want anyone to know. Doesn't want anyone to see the front that she puts up is breaking. That maybe things do get under her skin, takes a toll on her and she just pushes it down until she can't anymore.
Her sobs are stabbing straight through his chest, and Bucky wants to go over there and...what? Offer his metal should to cry on? Place comforting hands on her shoulders so they stop shaking? Offer her tea? He doesn't know. He wants to comfort her, but he doesn't know what to do. He's about to step into the room anyway, but Ana abruptly stops crying.
As if she has an off switch and kicked it, pulling herself together. She stands up, wipes her eyes once more, clearing her throat. Then she's walking away to the other side of the room, up the stairs to the second level and disappears behind the door. She doesn't come back out.
Twenty minutes have passed. Just twenty. That's how long Bucky's resolve lasted before he finally decided to look for Ana. Since it isn't raining, he goes straight to the roof access ladder. He isn't surprised in the slightest once he gets to the roof. He is a little startled that Ana is sitting on the ledge, legs dangling over the wall, throwing something out into the air.
Bucky calms his heart a little, knowing that Ana won't accidentally tumble over. He makes his way over to her, sitting next to her on the ledge. Upon a closer look, he sees that she is throwing little pebbles, hitting a tree stump on the ground 150 feet below. It's a good distance, but she hits the mark every time.
"It's all about the arch." Ana speaks up, throwing another.
"Are you alright?" Bucky questions. He searches her face for any lingering sadness. Ana frowns in confusion. "I saw you. Earlier. You were crying."
Ana schools her expression into a neutral one. She takes a minute to respond. "You how sometimes you said you feel overwhelmed being here? Well, I just got a little overwhelmed myself, cried a bit, then I was fine. It's no big deal." She picks up another rock.
"Why did you do that?"
"Do what, throw rocks? It's fun. Cathartic."
"Why do you hide your sadness from other people?"
The rock Ana just threw misses the tree stump, it's the first one she has missed so far. She looks at him. "You think I'm sad?"
"I do, and you try hiding it." Bucky calls her out.
"I'm not sad."
"You were sobbing, Ana." He admits softly. "You were shaking, and the minute I was going to go over, you stopped. You barely allowed yourself to feel sad."
"I have a guess." Bucky continues. "You've said it before, that you have helped everyone. You seem to be this constant source of positivity, of hope and around here that can be sparse. Agents or whichever Avenger at the time goes out and comes back and you help them cope with whatever happened. You told me you have trouble sleeping when the energy is off. I think you are more connected to people's energy and you take too much onto yourself. You listen to anyone who talks to you and that must be wearing on you.
"I think you hide it because you don't want anyone to see you as anything other than strong. You think you're the backbone of this whole place. Be strong for and care for everyone other than yourself."
"That's quite perceptive of you." Ana tells him, voice small.
"I watch people and I watch you. I've picked up on some things. You're not the only one who can read people. Like that," Bucky points to her jaw. "Your muscle twitches in your jaw when you're annoyed or trying to hold something back."
"I'm not annoyed." Ana pouts, throwing another rock into the air.
"Yes, you are." Bucky huffs a small chuckle under his breath. "I'm pressing, sorry. Whether I'm right or not, that you hide it. I just want you to know that...um- it's a two way street between us, as you would say. You don't need to keep that mask of yours on around me either, Ana. It's not like I have friends to tell anyway."
Ana reaches over and tugs on the bottom of his hair. "Stop that. Throw a rock."
Bucky takes the pebble from her. "You have good aim."
A little smirk pulls the left corner of her mouth up. As if she knows something he doesn't yet. "You could say that."
Bucky pulls his eyes away from her, looking out over the ledge to the tree stump. He raises his arm, then flicks his wrist forward. The pebble soars through the air, hitting the middle of the stump. When he looks at her, Ana isn't looking back.
Instead, her fingers trace over her collarbones, tapping her thumb twice. She bites her lip for a moment, looking as if she wants to tell him something. She seems to make her decision, snapping her brown eyes to his blue ones.
"Today is my brother's birthday. It's been a long time, but it's always rough on this day." She tells him quietly. She shrugs. "I guess that's why I've been feeling rather...overly emotional? Everything just sort of jumbled together. It caught up to me."
"It's not overly emotional, Ana." He frowns. He doesn't like her saying that, making it seem like it's bad thing for her to do. "You can let things get to you. Or is that just what you tell me?"
Ana flicks a pebble at his left arm. She smiles. "No, you're right. People don't usually catch me. You did."
Bucky taps his temple with his right index finger. "Perceptive. Will you be alright, though?"
"I'll be fine, Winter Snowman."
Bucky leers at the new nickname. Ana laughs, and it's so much better than hearing her cry.
"Oh God, no. No. Seriously?"
Bucky peers over Ana's shoulder the next day, simultaneously inhaling her whatever shampoo she uses; it's where the rose scent comes from. Her hair is down today, still damp from a morning shower, and falling in soft waves around her shoulders. He refocuses on what has got Ana rather annoyed, noticed the empty container that used to hold coffee grounds.
Bucky hums. "That's a dilemma."
Ana drops her head back to her shoulders, pushing out a huff of air. The angle makes them have direct eye contact. Bucky has to bite his tongue to keep from laughing at her exasperated expression. She narrows her brown eyes at him as if she knows he's trying not to be amused. She picks her head back up.
"Guess I'll get to the cafe to get more." She says. "Don't want to walk all the way back home to get mine."
"Depends on how dire your caffeine need is."
Ana opens her mouth to answer, when Agent Jared Sharp suddenly walks up to them. He's holding a file, nearly smacking it against Ana's chest, and completely ignoring Bucky. He sees her muscles twitch in her jaw, and temple, signs that she is agitated for real this time. She takes the file to open it. She scans it quickly then sighs.
"Guess coffee will wait." She mutters. To Bucky she says, "I have to go take of something real quick. I'll be back in a half hour."
"I can refill the coffee." He offers, having a sudden urge in him to make her smile. "Just tell me where it is again?"
It works. Ana gives him a tiny smile. "Take the elevator up two floors. Turn left and it's the second door on your right." She pats his arm. "Thanks, Buck!"
The nickname apparently just slips from Ana's mouth. It's a name only Steve calls him by, one from their shared passed when they were just kids. It's a name associate with all sorts of memories; good, bad and in between. He finds he doesn't mind Ana calling him by it.
He watches her walk away with Agent Sharp in the opposite direction. Bucky leaves once Ana is out of his sight, and heads towards the elevators. He follows the directions given to him, and within five minutes, he's in the little brake room cafe. The light chatter that filled the room stops when Bucky walks in.
It's an occurrence that he has gotten used to. His off-putting presence makes people apprehensive. He gets it, he understands. It doesn't stop the slight sting knowing that people will always see him as an infamous assassin. He understands, he has destroyed full scale air crafts, has killed people near and far, and has destroyed people's lives.
Bucky inhales slowly, his stomach clenching in knots when he sees everyone's eyes on him. Breathing out slowly, he shifts his eyes from the nearest table, searching for the cabinets. He spots them, making his way over to them quickly. Thankfully everything is labelled, so the hunt for fresh coffee is easy to find. He's carefully moving aside different brands until he finds the one they keep in the lab. His hand closes around the craved in handle, when he feels something behind him. He spins quickly, container in hand, coming face to face with a woman. Women. Two women.
"Hello." One of the women says brightly. She's got black hair with green eyes, her lips shiny as she smiles at him.
Bucky feels slightly confused. This is the first time someone outside of Ana or the Avengers have spoken to him. He clears his throat, not quiet knowing what to say.
"Uh- hi?" He responds, pressing his lower back into the edge of the counter.
"I'm Alyssa." She says, holding out a hand. Bucky doesn't take it.
"Brie." The other woman speaks up. She has dirty blonde hair and dark brown eyes that don't match the warmth of Ana's.
"You're James Barnes, yes?" Alyssa questions, slowly dropping her hand once she realizes she won't get a handshake.
Bucky just nods.
"Well, I know you're still pretty new around here. This is the first time I'm seeing you up here. We could give you a tour around the place if you'd like. We don't mind."
Bucky shifts his eyes over Brie. She smiles strangely at him, a smile he can't place what it means. She eyes him up and down, and her gaze begins to make him a little uncomfortable. He slowly slides against the counter until he can slip passed them, putting personal space between them.
"I already know my way around." He states. His own voice sounds flat, guarded.
"Oh, well. How about we get to know each other over drinks then?" Brie asks instead. "We both know how tough it can be to make new acquaintances." She lifts her hand as if she's going to touch his arm.
Bucky takes a step back, moving the coffee container over his forearm. He hears a quiet snap, quickly looking down at his hand, where his metal fingers are gripping the handle too hard. He grinds his teeth together, skeptical about why these girls are asking him to get drinks. There are drinks in the refrigerator behind them, and a water cooler next to it.
"Or coffee." Alyssa pipes in. "If drinks aren't your thing."
"I don't like coffee." He lies. He doesn't know why.
The women giggle. "Is that why you're holding it, Sergeant?"
"It's for me." A third voice says from Bucky's left. When Bucky looks over, Agent Sharon Carter is standing next to him. She takes the container from his hand, offering a friendly smile to the women.
"Thanks for getting it, Barnes." Sharon addresses him. "However, you're going to be late for that meeting with Captain Rogers. I suggest we get going."
She gives him a subtle look. Bucky takes the hint gratefully. "Right. The meeting."
"Malone, Anderson. Pleasure talking to you." Sharon says, bidding them farewell.
Sharon spins on her feet, walking out of the room. He quickly follows her without saying a word to the women. They don't speak to each other until they get inside the elevator, the doors sliding shut. Bucky puffs out a sigh of relief, shoving his right hand into his hair, pushing it back.
"You look like you were in a tight spot there, Bucky." Sharon informs. "Figured you wouldn't mind me stepping in."
"Thank you." Bucky says. He takes the coffee when she hands it back to him. He still feels a little uncomfortable.
The elevator dings.
"You know they were flirting with you." Sharon states, walking out onto the floor.
Bucky frowns. "They were?"
"Asking you out for drinks? I'm not exactly sure how people in the forties did it, but that's a general consensus for flirting."
"Uh..." He mentally flips through scattered memories in his head. "Dancing, mostly. We asked for a dance if we were sweet on a dame."
"Have you thought about it then? Asking someone for a dance? Or drinks?" Sharon looks over at him, a knowing glint in her eyes.
Bucky is a super soldier. Bucky was an elite, graceful assassin. He usually walks with deft, determined steps, knowing how to move quickly, efficiently, silently. He stumbles over his own feet. Sharon's neutral expression breaks, a grin spreading across her mouth.
"Not- not recently." He mutters, regaining his steps.
"Hmm. I wonder if you've realized how many female agents, even some male agents, have been making eyes at you, Barnes." Sharon muses, turning down a hallway. "Maybe not though. Your tunnel vision is rather narrow. I guess you both have it though. Oblivious to what's surrounding you, yet both oblivious to what's right in front of you."
Confused, Bucky is about to ask her to clarify when Sharon stops walking. They've reached the doors to the lab, Sharon holding one open for him. She offers him another friendly smile, thankful she has never cornered him like those women did. He returns a smile the best he can, moving passed her.
"Have a good day." She bids as a goodbye.
"You...too." Bucky responds slowly. Mainly because he is incredibly befuddled.
He chooses to ignore it for now, noticing Ana isn't back yet. He heads to the coffee station, and goes about refilling the filter. He sees the little bottle of cinnamon, grabbing it so he can attempt to make it the way Ana does. His gaze floats up for a moment, Sharon's voice coming back to his mind.
He looks around the room, making eye contact with one of the female Researchers. She quickly adverts her gaze, staring resoundingly at her computer. He continues to look around the room, catching two other gazes before they both look away. One of them offers a small smile before she turns her back on him. Bucky knew people had been watching him and Ana, but was it in a way he hadn't even thought of before? He doesn't understand it.
Bucky is cleaning some coffee grounds from the surface he accidentally spilled when he hears the familiar sound of heels against the floor. He doesn't turn, just dumps the grounds into the trash, swiping his hands together to clean them.
"That smells heavenly." Ana says from behind him.
Bucky pushes a freshly brewed cup towards her. "Max took the first cup."
Ana glares over at Max across the room. "He can get away with it. He knows I can never be mad at him."
Bucky ignores the sharp flutter in his chest at that. Instead, he opts to grab his own cup, walking to her desk. Ana follows suit, folding her leg under her thighs before sitting. Bucky watches as he cautiously takes a sip of the steaming liquid, her eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks.
She hums against the rim of the mug. "That is an exceptionally good cup of coffee, Bucky.
He can't help the sense of pride over it. He made her smile. He made her happy with just a simple cup of coffee. It brings him back to what Sharon said earlier.
"Can I ask you something?" Bucky inquires. Ana just raises her eyebrows. "Do women flirt with me?"
Ana pauses with her mug against her lips. Her eyes are wide, a warm brown, like burning firewood. He much prefers her colored eyes over the other women. Slowly, she lowers the mug, placing it on her desktop.
"Come again?" Ana asks, blinking.
"I went to get the coffee and ran into these women. Agent Carter said they flirted with me. I didn't even realize."
Ana is silent for several long moments. She blinks again, like she trying to process the information. Bucky watches her as she rubs her lips together. She brings her right hand up to her necklace, tapping her thumb against her collarbone. He drops his gaze to his lap, fidgeting with his fingers. Finally, Ana speaks.
"I mean," She starts slowly, "you are ruggedly handsome, so it makes sense."
Bucky's head snaps up. Ana looks like she just got caught in headlights.
"I mean, just that...other females may find that sort of thing...their thing, and that's what's for them. If they didn't know what was for them, then how do they know what's actually for them, ya know?"
Bucky is one hundred percent sure he is staring at her with the most bewildered expression on his face. He can feel that his mouth is open, and his eyebrows are pinched. Also, that his cheeks have suddenly heated up. He must be giving her the strangest look right now, because Ana suddenly blushes. A pretty, rosy tone coloring her cheeks. She keeps rambling.
"Like, some women have a type, and you're a type that falls into a type of type category. So of course women would flirt with you if that's their thing, their type, which would be you, I guess. Like my type, is y- uh, a type and their type is...um..." She picks up her coffee. "This is a great cup of coffee."
Blood is gathering in Bucky cheeks. He would be even more- what's that emotion?- bashful, if it wasn't the first time since he knew Ana, that she is the one stumbling over herself. It's rare, it's endearing. It's cute. He bites his lips to keep in a laugh, because Ana is looking anywhere but at him.
"Don't hurt yourself there, sweetheart." Bucky teases, grabbing his own mug so he has something to hold.
When dinner comes around, Natasha and Clint ordering sushi, they're all sat around the table. Bucky can't stop his gaze floating over to Ana on several occasions. She has been resoundingly staring at her plate, only makings conversation when she's asked a question.
Occasionally, Ana looks up, and Bucky either drop his eyes to his plate or looks over at Sam, pretending he heard what he said. He can't help his smirk on his own lips. He tried to hide with bites of food, with sips of his drink. It doesn't work. Dinner is nearly over when Bucky catches Ana's eyes again.
"What?" Ana abruptly speaks, voice slightly exasperated. "So, I said you were cute. I'm not blind. It's no big deal."
The conversation halts around them.
"You said ruggedly handsome." Bucky corrects her, is lips spreading and his cheeks heating once more.
Ana shakes her head, fighting off her own smile. "If you don't wipe that shit eating smirk off your face, Snow Flurry, I will stab you in the eye with my chopsticks."
It shouldn't be a thing for her to keep threatening someone with his past. With his deadly skills, and an arm that could snap a neck in a second, but it is. Bucky just allows it, mainly because they're empty threats.
That pretty blush is still painting her cheeks, and her bottom lips is red and puffy since she's been gnawing at it with her teeth. He figures since Ana had admitted she thinks he is well, attractive, Bucky thinks he should return it. Make it even.
In a sudden surge of confidence, Bucky confesses. "Well, I think you're gorgeous."
Ana pauses with food halfway to her mouth. She drops the sushi roll and blushes deeper than before. She blinks slowly, and mutters a little, "Oh."
They stare at each other, both with redden cheeks. Something begins to settle between them. It starts soft, gentle, growing into something thick and heavy, filled with something new. Something that might have been there from the beginning, but is now just surfacing.
"If you want to date her, you'll have to get through me first. Ana is my bae." Sam pipes up.
Bucky ducks his head down, suddenly very interested in the two dumplings on his plate. He completely forgot he's in a room full of people, who will probably tease both him and Ana mercilessly. There are chuckles breaking the tension around the table, and Bucky gathers his nerves, peaking up to look at Ana. She's pushing her sushi around her plate, looking down at the table. The comments seem to be forgotten by everyone at the moment, as Sam and Clint banter back and forth.
Ana finally meets Bucky's eyes once more, and the small smile on her lips makes any embarrassment worthwhile.