A/N: Double upload. Might not hear from me for a while, I'm back at uni in a week and have several things I need to do. So, enjoy.

Chapter Fourteen – Restlessness

Len sat at the kitchen table, flipping through a book pointlessly for what felt like hours. Eventually fatigue was beginning to get the best of him, and though none of the words were registering before, he was certain the words were trying to escape the pages now. Glancing back at the bedroom, Len gave up and turned off the kitchen light, stepping into the bedroom. Kaito wasn't asleep, and turned his head to Len when he came into the room. He grinned at Len, patting the spot next to him. "I won't puke on you, I swear."

"Better bloody not!" Len grumbled, falling onto the bed next to Kaito. Len's bed was just big enough they could lie next to each other without cramping the other. Yawning, Len snuggled against his pillow. He felt Kaito shift to look at him, but he ignored the other.

"Len," Kaito's voice was very gentle when he spoke, a little raspy from when he and Ann yelled at each other. "You've never talked much about your family… I'd like to hear that."

Len frowned against the pillow before rolling over, facing Kaito. "There's not much to talk about. We were fairly normal until my father went deranged and murdered my mother."

"What was your mother like?"

"She was really pretty, very kind and smiled a lot," Len said, feeling his chest ache a little. "She was the perfect mother, basically. Dad was pretty perfect too, but things happen. I don't know what caused him to lose his mind, but I try not to think about any of that anymore… you told me it's not worth my time fretting about. Besides, he's six feet under now. He can't do anything to me, but haunt me." Len sat up, wrapping his arms around his knees. "Would you have believed me that I wanted to kill my father with my own hands?"

"No, I wouldn't have, because you're not that kind of person, Len. You're too gentle to be that kind of person."

"People wear masks Kaito," Len told him, remembering what was said between Ann and Kaito earlier. He hope it didn't make it too obvious that he heard it. "How can we really trust what we see when some people just hide their true nature too well?"

"Do you think I wear a mask?"

What was he going to say to that? "I don't know," Len looked at him. Ann had said he hid behind a happy-go-lucky personality… but the Kaito he'd begun to know was far more serious than he anticipated. "Do you hide behind a mask, Kaito?"

"What if I said I did?"

Len smiled. "Then I would say I don't believe you," he saw something flicker across Kaito's eyes before he cracked a smile. Then, it turned sad after a moment. "What's wrong?"

"Ann's always right, you know. She doesn't let anything slip pass unnoticed." Kaito sat up, looking out the window, his features overshadowed by the moonlit that danced between the blinds. "I'm not who I say I am."

"We all have secrets, Kaito," Len admitted with a shrug. "Some of us hide behind masks, become someone else to protect ourselves, after all."

"Why do I have a cunning feeling you know what was said between Ann and I?" Kaito asked after moment's thought. Kaito looked at him, his eyes unreadable.

Len licked his dry lips, not sure what to say. "Gakupo-san and I arrived just before you ran out the room; I didn't hear that much… only from where Ann called… called that woman a…" Len didn't want to say it, didn't want to end up in the same situation Ann was in.

Awkward silence washed over them before Kaito sighed. "I would tell you why I was insulted but…"

"It's a secret, I know," Len replied, lying back down and turning away. "You value your secrets, I understand."

"I sometimes wonder if you do, or just say you do to appease others." Kaito's voice was soft and oddly calm. "Would you normally kick up a stink over something like this?"

"Why would I? I haven't known you long enough to really demand answers. Besides, I'm an outsider, always have been, always will be." Len went silent before swearing silently. He wasn't meant to say that.

"You're not an outsider, Gakupo and Ann love you to bits."

"You don't understand."

"Then make me understand." Len laid there for a moment, quiet. He hadn't felt Kaito come up behind him until he felt his hand brush his cheek. "Don't cry, Len."

"I have something in my eye."

"Lair," Kaito crooned, leaning over. "Talk to me, Len. Don't shut it away."

Len glanced up at him before turning away, brushing the tears from his eyes. "It's always been you, Ann and Gakupo… I've always wondered how long it was just you three, laughing and being silly in that room. Talking about things I wouldn't understand, wouldn't be able to understand. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm really accepted, or if I'm put up with. Ann and Gakupo… they're so distant… and so are you. You all hide so many things and it just makes me realises I'm not a part of your group. It'll always just be the three of you. I'm just extra baggage."

"You want to know something?" Kaito asked softly, feeling Len nod under his hand. "Gakupo rarely joined us in the night lane, and I didn't spend that much time with Ann. She rarely came along as well, but they want you to feel comfortable, that's why they've been coming and going more often. You are a part of our group; they want you to be a part of it. So if there's something you want to know about, ask them. Sure, there's going to be the odd topic they won't talk about, but they'll answers questions about themselves if you just ask them."

"And what about you?"

"The first time I saw you, I was going to play the bastard I always played, but when I saw you, saw the darkness in your heart I realised you and I aren't so different. We're both carrying scars so identical. There's someone we hate and want to drop dead, and there are people we want to protect." Kaito pulled Len around, so the boy was facing him. "We're both carry the regrets of the people we loved and lost, regrets that will live with us forever. They don't go away, but we can always numb the pain and move on. We have to move on, other's we're stuck in the past, never to move forward, always taking steps backwards. That's something I don't want to happen, so I move forwards, do my best to help the people I care about."

"Then why are you scared to tell me what you do for a living?" Kaito twitched, and knew Len noticed. "What are you scared about? Are you scared I'll reject you because of it? Scared that you'll get hurt because of it?"

"Yes," Kaito said quietly. "I'm scared to be rejected, especially by you."

"Did Ann and Gakupo reject you?"

"No… they didn't."

"Then why are you scared of me finding out."

"I'm ashamed, Len; so ashamed that I can't even admit it to my siblings. What would they do if they found out? They'd reject me…" he could hear Kaito choke up. Len knew it wasn't the alcohol either.

"They wouldn't Kaito."

"They will…"

Len threw his arms around Kaito, holding him tight. "They won't, Kaito. I won't either. I wouldn't dream of it. You've given me something that has changed me, for the first time since my mother's death I've let strangers in, let them become friends. I hated people, Kaito, I hated them so much. I wished everyone would drop dead, but then you came into my life, and changed me. I would never hate you for that, no matter what you're ashamed of."

Kaito wrapped his arms around him, grateful for the comfort Len offered. "I can't, Len; at least, not yet, but maybe one day soon. I just…just not ready."

"Alright then," Len said softly, stroking Kaito's hair. "Alright, I'll wait then, for when you're ready."

"Thank you…"

"You're welcome."

Kaito laughed a little, before easing back. He wiped his face. "I hate alcohol."

"You'll still drink," Len pointed out.

"Yeah, I probably will." Kaito smiled back, before pressing his hand against Len's cheek. He ran his thumb over the smooth skin, taking in the sight of Len. It made Len a little awkward, but he didn't pull away. Kaito was his friend, he trusted-

Kaito moved in, pressing his lips against Len's. It ended as quickly as it ended, stunning Len. What was that about? He realised Kaito was watching him with uncertainty.

"You'd be screwed if I meant it."

Was Kaito serious…? Len sat there, unsure what to do, unsure what to say. It wasn't like Len didn't like it, but it was just… strange. He never thought of a guy in that sense…but that didn't outcast what Kaito thought. Was Kaito…?

"Len," Kaito's voice was filled with uncertainty.

Len shook his head, an embarrassed flush crossing his face. "You did it again… I don't understand what it's meant to mean though."

"I think it's a fairly simple answer."

Len stared at him, wide eyed. "Kaito… are you in love with me?"

"I don't know… but I wouldn't mind finding out," he smiled. "I wouldn't mind it at all." He leaned forward, this time the kiss lingered, soft and sweet. Lying Len down, he leaned over him, his body pinning the blonde to the bed. "I wouldn't mind trying to fall in love again… if the other person can love me back."

Did Len want to be in a relationship though? Kaito could be considering the ideal partner but… his lack of confidence got the better of him, and he turned away awkwardly. "I don't know…if I could be…"

"Len," Kaito said softly, burying his face against Len's neck. "Things take time… but don't leave me waiting, ok?"

Len nodded against him, understanding why he said that. "When I work out how I feel… I'll tell you."

How long was Kaito going to pin him to the bed? Len was ready to admit his arms and legs were going numb, but he didn't push Kaito off of him. It wasn't like Kaito had been there all night, maybe for half an hour or so but not all night. It didn't mean his back liked it at all.

"Kaito, can you ease up? My back hurts and I need to move?"

Kaito groaned against him. "J-Just a little longer… please?"

"Roll over, you can still hold me if that's what you want, but I need to get off my back."

Len moved without giving Kaito time to speak, but when he moved his leg into the wrong spot.

Well, that was why Kaito didn't want to move. "Kaito… why are you hard?"

"Um… can I blame the alcohol on this?"

"You horny bastard," Len pulled his leg away, and began to wiggle. "I can't believe you!"

"I can't help it that you arouse me."

Fan-fucking-tastic! "Kaito!"

"Please! It'll settle down if I don't think about it! J-Just let me be for a little longer."

"Oh no, you'll just get harder and then I've got to contend with this all night. Get off now!"

"But!"

"No! Get off me now."

"If you were Gakupo, he wouldn't have companied."

"I highly doubt, he'd just kick you off…" Kaito's laugh cut him off. "No… he wouldn't."

"How much do you want to bet?"

"Well… whether he does or not doesn't change the fact I'm not him! Off now!"

"But if I get off, I'm more likely to start molesting you. I think this is far more suitable."

Len kicked him off, moving away from the bed before Kaito recovered. "You need to fix that."

"You fix it."

"Oh no, I'm not getting pulled into that. I'm not touching it, not ever."

"It's no different to-"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Len put his fingers in his ears and turned away. "La la la, I can't hear you!"

"I would for you!"

Len stared at him, dumbfound. "What?"

"If you needed assistance, I would help you down there. I'm a professional after all."

"You wouldn't."

Kaito grinned at him. "I would, care for me to demonstrate?"

"No thank you, I don't want anyone touching my private parts, thank you very much."

"You know when you officially start dating; you'll have a partner doing it all the time. Besides, it's an experience that you shouldn't frown upon. It can be quite sensational, you know."

"Oh you would know."

"I do," Kaito sat up, patting his knee. "Come here, I'll prove it."

Len didn't move, not because he didn't want to, but he just wasn't sure. They'd had sex, sure, but… "I-I'm not aroused, so why would I need to?"

"Who said you need too?"

"W-Well… you don't m-mas…" he didn't want to finish it. "Y-You don't do that unless you're aroused!"

"Or stress, it works you know."

"I'm not stressed either!"

"Just come here!"

"I-I don't want to," Len took a step back. "Last time you touched it, you put your mouth over it."

"We call that oral, my darling."

"Don't say that!"

"Len, what are you scared of?" Kaito looked serious. "What has the Duke done to you?"

What hadn't the Duke done was a far better question, but Len didn't bother to correct him. "I-I…" Len looked away, feeling shy. "That's nothing to do with this."

"Yes it is… Len, I'm not the Duke, I'm Kaito. A hundred percent Kaito, so why are you scared? We've had sex before… not on the best of terms, but there's nothing I haven't seen before. Trust me, I've seen more of you than you realise."

"Th-that…" Len sank to the ground, sulking. Kaito was right, he'd seen Len naked in all his glory. But… but this was different. It had to be… "I don't feel comfortable in being touched. It's not you or the Duke or anything… I just don't…"

"Len," Kaito's voice was sympathetic. "Come here, it's alright. Trust me a little."

Len looked at him, before picking himself off the floor and meekly coming over. "I-I…"

"Do you want to sit on my lap… or lie down?"

Len shifted uncomfortably. "Does it matter? You'll still be seeing my face either way."

Kaito laughed loudly. "Is that what you're embarrassed about, Len? The expression you'll make? Dear lord, come here, you can bury your face in my neck if you're that nervous."

"Don't be an arse."

"Oh, but that's what I'm good at being though," Kaito patted his knee again. "Come here."

Len didn't move. "D-Do I need to take my pants off?"

"Do you want them to get dirty?"

"N-No," Len admitted, embarrassed he even asked. He gave himself a moment before he tugged at them. "B-Besides, you're the one horny."

"And? I'll deal with that afterwards, or if you're more comfortable with it, you can play with it."

"Don't talk like that," Len snapped, dropping his pants to the ground, and then began pulling at his underpants. "Does it amuse you when you talk dirty like that?"

"Yeah, I guess it does," Kaito chuckled.

"I thought you were a sad drunk."

"I'm also clingy… and I become ten times more touchy-feely." But of course, it wasn't Kaito otherwise. "Come here, stop being a woman."

"Don't be sexist either."

"How was that sexist? Women can also be wild too!"

Len frowned but sat down on Kaito's lap, unable to will his blush away. "You feel like you've gotten harder."

"I probably have," Kaito chuckled, settling Len down comfortably. He ran a finger up Len's stomach, feeling the skin twitch. "Len, has anyone told you that you're handsome?"

"S-Some of the girls in my village used to tell me I was good looking."

"Good looking is an understatement with you," Kaito laughed. "I bet you were chased all the time."

"I-I was…" Len looked away. He felt like he was bragging now.

"Bet they never saw this down here though?"

"W-Why would I show them that!"

Kaito just laughed.