As Candace attempts to break down the wall to the outside world, the rest turned towards Berri, as AJ asked: "So, how did you and Doofenshmirtz meet?"
"Well", Berri began, "it began on the day Heinz met his actual parents after they were separated from him since his birth..."
"You see, little Heinz's parents never showed up on his actual birth, so he had been raised by ocelots for a good amount of his childhood. However, when he turned five years old, he had gathered enough clues where his actual parents might live, which coincidentally enough was in Gimmelshtump, a town nearby the woods his ocelot family lived. Several DNA tests, legal documents and a court case later, Heinz's theory proved to be true and his parents were legally obligated to keep him under their roof until his 18th birthday. But Mr and Mrs Doofenshmirtz didn't like it in the slightest.
"So they forced Heinz to do all the dirty work, prohibited him from anything fun, and punished him for the most menial mistakes. They even spawned another child, which they named Roger, and they treated him well and doted him even to this day, all while they left Heinz in the dust.
"It was the week after Roger's birth when Fairy World got wind of Heinz's misery. I was sent by Jorgen von Strangle to be Heinz's fairy godparent, since I was well-versed in Drusselsteinian culture.
"So I showed up in Heinz's bedroom, told him I was going to be his fairy godmother and explained him Da Rules. Considering Heinz was the most miserable child I had encountered yet, I made sure that he knew everything about us, and that he had the most fun childhood I could muster.
"He had to promise not to tell a soul about fairies, since it would mean I have to go. Heinz was actually pretty timid, but he quickly warmed up to me and introduced me to his only friend, Balloony, which is a balloon with a face drawn on him.
"We spent a day at the carnival eating doonkelberry cake, which turned out to be both our favorite cake.
"Eventually, we had to return home, and in order to not get caught, I had poofed myself a platypus disguise, and Heinz introduced me as a pet. Mr Doofenshmirtz fell for it and allowed Heinz to keep me, surprisingly enough.
"Unfortunately, it wouldn't last. The same night, Heinz had to stay guard as a lawn gnome again, with me and Balloony in tow. Heinz accidentally let loose of Balloony. He was shocked and threw a racket, asking me to retrieve the balloon back. Unfortunately, he was so upset that he yelled the neighborhood awake, who then witnessed me in my true form. Jorgen had to come in and erased everyone's memories of the event, and took me away."
"That was the last time I ever had a godchild, even though Jorgen said I would get a new one soon after", Berri concluded. "Since I never got another one, I moved to the candle business."
"Well, I would say this is accurate to what I remember, aside from you and the other fairy business of course", Heinz added.
"Were you happy with your decision, Berri?" Phineas asked.
"Honestly... I would've lied if I said yes", Berri said. "The first few weeks were amazing, but I gradually got bored, and still yearned for a godchild. To be honest, I never stopped looking how Heinz has grown and watched him through a clairvoyant vision. I was sad to see how he had grown evil, but I still knew he had good in his heart, which I could especially find back when he spends time with his daughter, and that platypus friend of his."
"Platypus friend?" Heinz arched an eyebrow. "I know only one platypus: Perry the Platypus, and he's my nemesis!"
Phineas cocked an eyebrow again. There he goes again, talking about his pet. He had no idea what was going on with Perry, yet it feels familiar at the same time.
"Hold up, you regret going into the candle business?" Jorgen asked Berri out of surprise.
"Well, kind of", Berri said. "Like I said, I really enjoyed the first week, but in the end, I think my one day with Heinz was a lot better than my new job overall. I kind of wish I had a godchild, still..."
Jorgen pondered, pressing his finger on his chin. "I'll remember that", he noted.
"Yeah yeah, that's cool and all, but what I want to know is how Vicky got her fairy godparent, and how that turned her evil", Timmy said.
Toria, who had distanced herself from the group, picked up what Timmy said and trembled. "Oh boy..." she sighed.
"Now that you mention it, I think it would be pretty interesting", AJ mused. "I mean, it's Vicky's origin story, apparently."
Toria knew what was coming and sighed. "All right, I'll tell you guys", she decided.
"I was just a regular, run-off-the-mill fairy with several jobs within my thousand-year-plus life, but one of my biggest dreams was to be a parent. Since Jorgen banned new fairy births after a particularly disaster-inducing one was born, I had yearned to be a fairy godparent early on, but my chance never came. Most children were simply already taken.
"That was, until one day. Ten years ago, Jorgen personally called me for a job as fairy godparent.
"Like Berri, I was assigned to my godchild shortly after the birth of another child. About ten years ago, Vicky's little sister was born. And it was clear that her parents were already doting the newborn Tootie, while Vicky was left to the sidelines.
"Jorgen noticed the neglect a few months after Tootie's birth, and predicted that things would turn sour if Vicky wasn't treated well, which is where I came in, kinda.
"So um, yeah, I showed up in front of Vicky and explained that I was going to be her fairy godmother for the time being, guiding her when her parents should have, and granting her any of her wishes so long it was acceptable in Da Rules. I also told her to not tell anyone about fairies, as that was the most important rule.
"After that, I allowed Vicky to make her first wish. I was expecting something simple or benevolent. However, I didn't know Vicky had quite a... jealousy complex.
"'I wish my parents would hate my little sister forever!' was her first wish. I was quite shocked at the cruel wish, and explained to her that we can't grant wishes that dealt with true love or true hatred, as it was Cupid's job to balance those things. Little Vicky was confused why Cupid would deal with other kinds of love than romance, and did not believe me.
"She took my wand and ran away. I gave chase, pleading to be careful and make responsible wishes like a good little kid.
"However, I didn't realize that Vicky has been neglected for so long that her sorrow turned into such a strong hatred, as she said something I could simply not believe.
"'A good little kid?' she spat. 'I've been a good little kid for six years in my life, but as soon as someone else comes into my life, I'm forgotten! I've waited for two months, but I'm still being ignored! Maybe I'll get noticed if I was the opposite of good...'
"I had a bad feeling about this, so I tried stopping her, but Vicky shoved me aside as she made her wish: to become one of the most evil beings on Earth. As she did, the wand poofed up a weird bug and entered her behind. When it did, her mind had been drastically altered.
"Vicky had become evil.
"She then wished up several weapons and stormed towards her parents, magic wand in tow, with the intent to hurt them.
"I tried to stop her, but as soon as her parents noticed me, Jorgen showed up and wiped everyone's memories, unwished the weaponry, and took me back to Fairy World.
"I apologized and apologized for my terrible job. Jorgen was clearly mad at me, but all he said on the matter was that he should've assigned a fairy to Vicky way sooner. I asked him if Vicky will be nice again, but Jorgen informed me that Vicky's wish caused an extremely rare evil-inducing insect to appear which he dubbed the 'Icky'. The Icky is a parasite that seeks to destroy the world, can easily itself into anyone with power, and can only be exterminated if it mellows inside a host for twenty years, so he decided it was safer it was kept inside Vicky.
"I was saddened that Vicky would remain so icky until well into her adulthood, but I knew that it would be wise to leave it be. Instead, I hoped I would get another chance, but all Jorgen said about it was a single 'Maybe'."
"But I guess 'maybe' meant 'never', as I haven't heard from him ever since", Toria finished, "which is why I went to the candle industry."
"So wait, that's how Vicky became evil?" Chester asked.
"Is that true", Timmy asked Vicky.
"Eh, I dunno", Vicky shrugged. "I can't remember I've ever had fairies, but I do remember disliking my parents ignoring me and suddenly becoming evil, so if it's anything like that old man Doof, I guess it has to be true."
Toria sighed. "I just wish I had another chance at the godparenting business. I mean, I like my job at the candle factory, but I just keep thinking back at my mistakes as a fairy godmother. I've never had bad experiences before, let alone a bad first day. Not as a waiter, or a garbagewoman, or a water girl, or a shopping clerk, never."
Jorgen listened to Toria and pondered again, like with Berri. Maybe he was a bit hard on Toria, after all. And prior to this whole takeover thing by Remy, Rodney and Crocker, there was an open spot...
It was silent in the conjoined cell, with the exception of Candace trying to pry the walls open (with no success so far).
That's when Timmy wondered: "Say Juandissimo, what do you actually do, after you've been split from Remy and all? Still being a bad cook?"
"Oh, nonono, niño", Juandissimo denied. "I mean, si, I'm still bad at cooking, but I've been trying to get better at baking. Mostly, because I have discovered the most magnífico human TV show on the planet: CAKE 'SPLOSION!"
Everyone in the cell blinked.
"Oh, you mean that extreme baking show with Basil Bravo!" Isabella exclaimed.
"Genial, another fan!" Juandissimo sprang up.
"Oh, only a little bit", Isabella blushed.
"That's okay, niña", Juandissimo said.
"So what's this Cake 'Splosion show now?" Chester asked.
"Like I said, the most amazing show on human televisión", Juandissimo explained. "The participants bake a cake under extreme circumstances, and it's hosted by the most sexy being ever, aside from myself: Basil Bravo! Huh, I do sound like him, no te parece?"
The cell was silent again, until Veronica opened her mouth: "Umm-"
"SO", Juandissimo interrupted her, "don't you want to know the best episodes I've seen so far? I can go all day!"
"Uggh", Candace groaned, as she continued prying the walls.
"And here is our throne room", Remy told Dark Trixie.
"Oh, it looks so lovely, my king!", Dark Trixie gushed in response. "It sooooooo fits your style! It just screams 'The Almighty King Remy Buxaplenty' in surround sound!"
Remy grinned from ear to ear when hearing such appraisal from the girl he longed for. It made him beam with pride.
In contrast, the true Trixie, still trapped inside Dark Trixie, almost gagged in disgust when hearing those words emerge from her former mouth, but only the Shadow Trixie that holds the reins over her body could hear it.
Back in the outside world, Rodney followed. Crocker had to deposit his fairy loot in his lab first, which is why Rodney arrived with Remy and Dark Trixie alone. If he were to be honest, he found all the excessive gold a bit too tacky, so the throne room was not really his taste. But Remy had to play king to get those wishes working, and not only did he acknowledge that Remy was a kid of wealth instead of science, but he could still tolerate the room, so he didn't argue.
Noting that it was 11 o'clock, however, he did say: "Buxaplenty, I do need to remind you that one ElimiNormbot still hasn't returned from his search of the chosen queen that's already on your side. And the official takeover begins in three hours."
"Oh, right, the bot that's taking way too long", Remy muttered, as he sat in his throne with Dark Trixie snuggling him on his lap. "Though I suppose it's because one of the other squads already picked my queen up, and the remaining bot is unable to receive any orders to return."
"Do you really not think this is going to be a problem?" Rodney questioned.
"What's there to worry about", Remy asked rhetorically, relaxing in his throne as Dark Trixie continues to caress him. "He's been given one of those spare camouflage belts Crocker still had, so he'll be able to blend in fine. He's looking for the one girl I already have by my side, so he won't bother anyone. And most importantly, we have Turner, Flynn, Fletcher, and all of their annoying friends locked up in Abracatraz, so they won't be a bother!"
Dark Trixie heard that name again. Turner, why was it so familiar to her? How did she learn that bucktoothed peasant's name when she never met him before?
The real Trixie obviously knew the answer, but despite trapped inside her mind, Dark Trixie's thoughts are largely unaware of the small spirit whom the body belonged to.
"Yesirree", Remy continued with a wide grin, "Aside from the three nuisances that are Timmy, Phineas and Ferb, we also got that long-necked teen girl Candace, the vastly inferior Veronica and Isabella, those dorks Chester and AJ, mega dork Irving, and..."
Well, that was it, he supposed. He knew that the rest of their human prisoners were Rodney's adversaries, and Vicky. Though aside from Vanessa, Remy doubted those other guys were to be considered Timmy's friends.
...Wait a minute... didn't Timmy, Phineas and Ferb had at least a few more?
They did, didn't he? They definitely did!
Remy sat upright, releasing himself from his queen's embrace, asking: "Where are Chloe, Buford and Baljeet?"
"...Excuse me?" Rodney asked.
"Who again?" Dark Trixie parroted.
"Chloe, Buford and Baljeet", Remy repeated, a bit irritably. "You know, Timmy's newest annoying friend Chloe, and the dumb bully-and-nerd duo Buford and Baljeet! Shouldn't they be alongside Timmy, Phineas and Ferb, too?! WHERE ARE THEY?!"
Author's Note: Yes, we're back!
Over the past few months, I've been trying to get back writing this fanfic, and finish it for once. As of right now, I'm unfortunately still not done, but I have written a good chunk of story. So much, in fact, that I'll be able to start on the final act (as in, the final chapters) VERY soon.
As it currently stands, I'm unleashing another "bomb" - releasing multiple chapters in a row, one a day. You might get at least 7-9 more chapters in the upcoming days! With working on and releasing chapters, I hope I'll be able to finish this thing in the upcoming three weeks.
Next chapter, we'll shift the focus to Chloe, Baljeet, Buford, Tootie, AND two certain pistachio vendors...
Welp, see you next time!