Author's Note: Yes, long time between updates again. This excuse? Well, turns out my last little ditty caused a few upheavals I needed to work out and around and through and that... was a bit unexpected and it took (is taking) time. So I apologise (again). Secondly this is short. I know it is. But every little step forward gains momentum, right? :)
Thirdly, it's Christmas/NYE time, and that means for those of us hospitality types, everything-goes-ballisticfortwoweeksandsuddenlyit'sthe5thJanuary and we're sitting hunched over our sixtieth coffee of the day... wondering where the hell the time went... Aka - I promise to give it my best go, I can't guarantee I'll be able to get back to update city like I used to, until after then. But trust me, writing is an escape (when it's not tearing my heart out) and I love it, so I'll be keen to write, when I can :)
Author's Other Note: Thank you all, so so much for getting on board with this story - and for reviewing, and sticking with me, and being patient.. Ths thing would have died several times over without you. Oh, and special hi to the newcomers who I've noticed, welcome :) bet you're thinking 'what the hell was I thinking!?'
But anyway, on with it.
T
Prometheus Chapter 14
The doctor leaned heavily on her desk, bracing herself with a hand curled around its edge, fingernails digging into the cheaply applied varnish. The thumb and middle finger of her other hand sharply pinched at the bridge of her nose, trying to illicit some clarity amidst her whirling thoughts.
"Please, Forgive me."
Nothing.
She pressed her tongue against the inside of her cheek and squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head, as if that action alone could dislodge the words and the images from her mind.
"Ma?"
Frustrated, she tapped the surface of desk once with her open palm sharply, her other hand coming down on the other side of her body, bracing herself forward. She glanced up through the windows. The doctor was aware of the movement inside the infirmary – the familiar forms of Akerman and Chang drifting in and out of her line of sight as they went about their activities - but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't find any purchase on any of it.
With another sharp shake of her head and pensive sigh, she looked away again.
What had started off as a simple attempt to clean the abrasions on Rizzoli's hand, had set into motion a chain of events that led them to that… that.
"Please."
Those scars…
They were the reason she had stayed. The reason she hadn't simply cleaned the wound, packed her medical kit and left. The reason she had gently encouraged her to let her see them, reasoned with her….
"They're cold, and I know they would be stiff. Let me help."
And the woman had acquiesced silently, leaning back against the wall, watching her, and Maura had turned back to those scars, studying them quietly as her thumb dug firmly but gently into the muscle around them. And she had continued, past the point when she noticed the other hand hanging limply from the chains, past the point a sideways glance confirmed her suspicions and she gathered the hand quietly into her lap as well, which in turn shifted the woman's weight toward her, her head sliding downward onto her shoulder...
And though she had started awake at the movement, all it had taken was a soft touch to her hair and a gentle 'It's okay Jane, It's just me…' and the head settled heavy again and her hands were pliable and relaxed again, and the Doctor had kept going…
Well past the point she should have stopped, should have left. But she couldn't... For some inexplicable reason, she felt more drawn to Rizzoli than she cared to admit. More drawn than she had ever been to Tait.
It was no more than twenty minutes.
But now the memories lingered in her mind so vividly and she could recall them as easily as she could the images on her computer screen - the soft breaths against her collarbone, the twitches of the fingers in hers as she slept, peacefully, against her shoulder… the image and feel of her hands, cleaned of blood and dirt, finally relaxed.. finally warm.. as Maura worked her thumbs gently around the scars.
She knew them now. She was a doctor whose job it was to diagnose quickly, effectively. It had taken her only minutes before she catalogued their exact dimensions, deduced their most likely healing pattern over the years… deconstructed it, and inferred potential origin. Through and through, both hands. Clean, effective. Something… extremely precise and sharp. A pocket knife, a switchblade… Weapons she had seen used on her patients before but not- … never in that way.
A shudder ran down the doctor's spine for a second time. Regardless of what it had been, the irrefutable fact remained this woman could not have done it to herself. Someone had done it to her.
And that had been Maura's most dominant thought as she had carefully lowered Rizzoli, barely-awake, down onto the cell floor, bunching a thermablanket from her medical kit under her head for some meagre level of cushioning, willing her to rest again. Her fingertips tingled at the recollection of her brief touch against Rizzoli's cheek. And that voice... no different to a child's voice, pained... lost...
"Please, forgive me."
Returning her gaze through the infirmary windows the doctor drew herself slowly upright, inhaling carefully as she did so. A calming breath, a steadying one.
What else could she have said?
She was startled out of her reverie by the sound of her phone, the vibrations rattling over her desk's surface. Tossing her hair off her right shoulder with a flick of her head she reached forward, her fingers coming into contact with it the same instant she recognised the caller…
And paused.
"Please…"
With a resigned sigh, she brought the phone to her ear and swept her thumb across the screen.
"Dr Isles."
"Doctor…" Maura closed her eyes against the sound, and found the fingertips of her free hand wandering back down to the desk, pinching its edge. "…I hope I am not disturbing you?"
"Not at all Doctor Jameson." She replied curtly, "I had just completed my final visit to-" She paused, Rizzoli's name teetering on her tongue but for some reason she found herself unwilling to let it go into the man's ear. "-the isolation cells."
"Ah yes… Rizzoli.." Immediately she understood why; the only name she felt more uncomfortable hearing from those lips than her own, was Rizzoli's… something in the way the consonants rolled off his tongue, sounded to Maura as if he were both spitting them out and sucking them in simultaneously. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on edge. He continued. "Sergeant Korsak did mention you arrived early to see her today."
"That is correct. I decided it might be a more prudent use of my time to start there and spend the rest of the afternoon here, rather than breaking up the day."
It wasn't a lie.
"Indeed…" He replied, the slow drawl worming uncomfortably up her spine. Maura made a face and moved the handset half an inch from her ear, suddenly feeling the need for distance between his mouth and her eardrum. "Well I hope your day hasn't been too disrupted, given the amount of time you spent there this morning."
Had she not been holding the phone in a vice-grip from the discomfort of the conversation, she might very well have dropped the phone.
How much did he know?
"Was she… difficult?"
"N-no," She replied quickly, immediately inwardly cursing herself at the tone in her voice when it reached her ears. Every misstep with Jameson felt to the Doctor like she was giving him a piece of her, and that idea made her uncomfortable beyond measure. "No." she repeated, more firmly this time. "There were… some complications between my last visit and today."
"Nothing too drastic, I hope." The concern was feigned. Maura's fingers unconsciously tightened against the desk.
"There are still unanswered questions-" She ensured the terseness in her words was clear. "However her immediate medical progress is satisfactory."
"Ahhh-" Crackled through the phone. "Well, might I impose on your schedule just one additional time today, I have some-" He paused, and the doctor could hear a breath being drawn wetly through his lips. She flinched away from the handset again, returning it carefully a moment later. "-information for you, perhaps, that may answer some of your questions."
Maura baulked. Why did every offer or invitation from this man feel like she was being drawn into a trap?
"I… appreciate that, Doctor." She said carefully, measuring her next response. "But- It was not in my schedule to return to the isolation blocks today. Is it not something I could retrieve off the network?"
"I'm afraid this is… particularly sensitive in nature, Doctor Isles." Came the reply. "I feel it would only be appropriate to show you in person."
"I see."
It was only when she felt no more room to inhale that Maura realised she had been holding her breath. Glancing quickly up at the ceiling she shifted the phone away from her far enough that she wouldn't be heard, and allowed the pent-up air to leave her lips in as controlled a manner as she could manage.
"I believe you will find it informative, doctor." The first part of his comment came before she had returned the phone to her ear, and she had to strain to hear it. Her ear was pressed up right against it when he spoke again, an edge as sharp as razorblades.
"I insist."
It took everything in Maura's control not to inhale sharply at the sound, and she bit down on the inside of her cheek instead, clamping her eyes shut.
Pull it together, Doctor.
"Very well," She replied, the steadiness in her voice again surprising her. "I will be there shortly."
Out through the infirmary windows, just over the threshold of the corridor and the main ward stood Brett Akerman, staring directly at her, a small smile on his face.