Author's Notes: Stacey is an OC…I don't own death note.

1st June 2004

Light: [Age 18]

Dear Diary,

It's so troublesome having to take care of Misa. Stupid bitch got herself arrested and then gave up ownership of death note. Now stupid shinigami Rem wants me to get her out of there. STUPID FUCK! WHY ME? Anyways came up with epic brilliant plan. Take that L! I'm awesome. Gotta go diary. Have to go turn myself in to L..

Hoping he'll fall for me after seeing fragile state.

L: [Age 24]

Dear Diary,

Misa called me pervert! WHAT THE FUCK! Stupid wench! Now everyone thinks I'm perverted. Everyone telling me to let her go and everything. What is wrong with these people? All they do is find flaws in my plans. They're never any help! Beginning to feel this is plot to ruin my reputation. Now silly Light is saying he might subconsciously be Kira. Stupid fuck I've been saying you're Kira all along! Are you fucking kidding me?

These bitches need to find themselves some brains.

Near: [Age 12]

Dear Diary,

Focusing attention on studies in order to avoid feeling heartbroken about developments in Matt and Mello's relationship. Shall focus on L for a while. Really missing him. Always lie to people telling them I haven't seen L….saw him a year and half ago when he came to visit Roger very late at night. Know he's L cuz Roger called him that. Thought he might be into older folks till realized he was here to take data files on Wammy's children. Glad because found him very attractive. Sexy black hair and eyeliner and everything.

Afraid I'm into older men.

Mello: [Age 14]

Dear Diary,

Relationship with Matty is going too sexy for words. [omg nick names yay!] I'm absolutely perfect by the way. Been developing slight muscles on arms and legs have been growing longer. Noticed Stacey has been hitting on Matt. Told her to fuck off cuz he's mine. She called me girly boy! BITCH SLAPPED THAT BITCH INTO THE GROUND!

Oh snap!

Matt: [Age 14]

Dear Diary,

Been growing at a fast rate lately. I'm taller than Mellz now. [lol nick names so cute!] Mello is perfect by the way. A little too perfect. Noticed Linda was trying to make moves on him today. Don't think Mello noticed. Dragged the bitch away from him and threatened her till she cried like the little bitch that she is.

No one steals my man.