It's been some time since I've update…im so sorry….
Writing this has been going so slow……haven't got time….and when I do….nothing comes to me to write….gawh…..
Anyways, here is another chapter….and next chapter I'm hoping you all love because it is Caspian's chapter!! And we get some Caspian/Peter stuff!! Finally! I know! Took me a long while, huh? Lol, hope you all enjoy this chapter!!
The song was chosen….because…..it sounds like an Edmund type of song all dark and emo, haha, and also because I feel like Edmund misses the old times, and no matter his actions, he needs his big brother…ne? and it's a great song!
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Falling Inside the Black- Skillet
Tonight I'm so alone
This sorrow takes ahold
Don't leave me here so cold
Never want to be so cold
Your touch used to be so kind
Your touch used to give me life
I've waited all this time, I've wasted so much time
Don't leave me alone
Cause I barely see at all
Don't leave me alone, I'm
[Chorus:]
falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me
falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Falling inside the black
Falling inside falling inside the black
You were my source of strength
I've traded everything
That I love for this one thing
Stranded in the offering
Don't leave me here like this
Can't hear me scream from the abyss
And now I wish for you my desire
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Chapter 13: Falling Inside the Black
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The stallion pressed his face against his master's. He could feel the pain his master was going through, and it pained him as well.
The brush resumed its course, gently running through his mane.
Edmund ran the brush gently over the horse, grooming his horse for the third time that day. It seemed it was the only place where he could think….where he could be, without feeling as the world was crashing down on him.
He focused on the brush, but it had become routine now. The repetitive motion went on without him having to think too much about it.
It let his mind be free to think over anything and everything. He never noticed the tears that ran down his cheeks. If his vision blurred, he never noticed it.
He wasn't crying, of course he wasn't. He was a boy and they weren't suppose to cry, yet Peter had cried. He had seen him cry.
Edmund stopped, the brush slipping from his hand down to the ground. Edmund's hand remained upon the stallion's neck. He took a shuddering breath and slowly sat down upon the ground. The stallion sat down with him.
Edmund rested his head upon the stallion's neck, his tears wetting his horse, but the stallion didn't mind. He remained still and allowed Edmund to let it out.
Edmund closed his eyes shut. He wondered if Peter would cradle him, and if he did, would he let him?
Edmund knew that he was a jerk and he could be rather rude. He also knew that he was changing, he wasn't the same he used to be. Peter…..he had always protected him, even when he had been a jerk.
No matter their fights and Peter's sharp comments, Edmund never doubted that Peter would sacrifice everything for him. Edmund let out a bitter chuckle.
He wished Peter was there, to tell him he was being an insensitive bastard. He wished Peter was there to call yell at him. He just wanted Peter to be there, even if he was just there to yell at him. It was better than not having Peter around at all.
He couldn't deal, if he never saw Peter again. He wouldn't be able to deal, if Peter was forever gone. He was the stone, the pillar.
Edmund knew that without Peter, he would probably crumble.
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He tip toed into the room, eyes wide and curious. He had taken care of Susan for most of the day and he had fallen asleep before his parents had arrived with his little baby brother. He was disappointed, because he had wanted to see him but he hadn't. He was going to see him now, and nothing was going to stop him. He slipped into the room and was faced with the dilemma of being too small to see anything. The baby was in the crib right next to his parents. Nothing was going to stop him, not even that. He looked around and saw a pillow strewn on the floor. He stood on it, but it wasn't enough. He spilled all the clothes from the drawers and made a small mountain. He grinned as he climbed it, finally able to see his little brother. He smiled tenderly, watching little Ed sleep peacefully. He leaned slightly on the crib and watched. He fell asleep that way. "I'm not a baby." He muttered under his breath. Peter smiled and looked forward. That was Edmund, always acting all tough. He didn't say anything when Edmund's little hand slipped into his bigger one. It was quickly tugged away once the school came into view. "Don't worry Ed, everything will go by so quickly!" Peter chirped. Ed grunted, but Peter could see his eyes looking around, tinged with fear. Peter squatted down. "Hey, everything will be fine. I promise. If anything, come find me, alright?" Peter asked "Hey, what happened?" Peter asked, taking Edmund to a quieter area. Edmund looked around, before hugging him. Peter was shocked, but he quickly recovered and hugged him back. "It is so lonely." Edmund muttered. Peter hugged him tightly. "You'll make friends, you'll see; but not by standing here. Trust me, alright?" Peter winked at Ed, who nodded and remained a few more seconds in Peter's embrace, before rushing off. Peter smiled and went back to his friends, knowing his brother would be alright for now.
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"Are you sure you are going to be alright by yourself, Ed?" Peter asked, looking over to his brother. He was starting school with him already. Edmund huffed, trudging along next to Peter.
Peter shook his head and went to his own class. It was lunch time when Peter saw a little boy running towards him. Peter quickly excused himself and met his brother half way. Since Ed was in first grade, he was now mixed in with the rest of the kids.
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Peter rolled over and looked over at Edmund who was lashing out in his sleep. Peter immediately got up and shook Edmund up. Ed stopped his thrashing and pushed Peter's hands away, before falling back asleep. Peter sighed and slid next to him, wrapping his arms around him. Edmund always slept peacefully after that. Neither spoke of it.
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Peter rushed to the center of the crowd. He felt his heart beating wildly inside his ribcage. Finally he pushed through, immediately locking upon his brother who was sprawled on the ground with a busted lip. He felt rage well up in him as one of the boys went to kick him. "Hey!" He yelled, pushing him away before the boy hit Edmund. The other boys turned to Peter, who just glared at them. He stood tall, daring them to hit him. Everyone else in the crowd watched, wondering if the boys would be stupid enough to hit him.
"Come on boys, we'll finish this later." The sneered and walked off. The crowd dispersed after that. Peter sighed and turned to Edmund. "I could have handled them." Edmund hissed, pushing Peter's hand away and standing up on his own. "I don't need you to protect me. I can handle myself, thank you." Edmund snapped, limping away. Peter stood there, hurt that his baby brother didn't want him near him. The rest of the day he spent sad, walking straight home instead of waiting for Ed like he usually did. It was later at night, when Ed went up to him.
"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly, offering his hand to him.
"Ed, there were about four of them." Peter shook his head, making to help Ed, who stepped back.
"Peter?" Edmund whispered, shaking Peter's shoulder. Peter turned around on his bed and looked at Edmund.
"What?" He asked, curtly. Edmund flinched and looked down.
"You didn't wait for me." He said, voice so tiny it broke Peter's heart. There was no denying that he loved his brother. He scooted back and patted the mattress. "Peter?" "Hmm?" "Thank you." "I'll always protect you." //////////////////////////////////
"Come on, Ed. We both have had too much excitement for one day." Peter muttered. Ed smiled and climbed under the covers.
Edmund took a deep breath. He remembered all those times he would argue with Peter. Peter would always be there for him, no matter the mistakes he would do or all the rude things he did. He always protected him and thought of his safety no matter what. It was sweet if not annoying at times.
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"Stop hovering! I don't need you anymore!"
"Alright, but if you do, I'll be there."
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He tried pushing Peter away, but he always had the habit of sticking around. Ed was always glad for that, he didn't know what he would have done had Peter really gone away.
"Peter, can you stay awake until I fall asleep?" //////////
"Of course I can, I'll watch over you."
He tried acting like he was brave, but even when he didn't, Peter never held that against him. He would just smile and did whatever he could for him.
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"I am not perfect! Not like you! God, I hate you!"
"I don't want you to be perfect! I want you to be you!"
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Even when Edmund was a total ass who couldn't seem to do anything nice for anyone, Peter was still there. Screaming back at him, trying to get him to understand.
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"Now, Ed, what is up with the waterworks?"
Ed looked up, eyes widen. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Right in front of him, was Peter. His baby blue eyes sparkling with tenderness.
"Peter?" Ed asked, pulling back and wiping his cheeks.
"Hey, you should be taking care of Su and Lu." Peter muttered, reaching over and mussing Ed's hair. Ed didn't do anything, just stared at Peter.
"This is a dream, isn't it?" Edmund muttered eyes saddening.
"Don't you worry, you'll be seeing me soon." Peter shrugged, moving his hand to Edmund's shoulder, squeezing it. Edmund looked at Peter, unsure if to believe him or not.
"Always going against what I say, don't you?" Peter chuckled. He stood up and dusted his pants off. He looked down at Ed, who was still looking at him, unsure.
"Well, little brother, you just have to wait then." Peter offered his hand to Edmund, who took it. Ed stood up and dusted himself.
"You know, I've never told you-"
"Don't, you can tell me later." Peter grinned, raising a hand to stop Edmund from finishing his sentence.
"Remember, you stood up against the White Witch, this will be a piece of cake." Peter saluted Edmund, before vanishing.
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Ed groaned and rubbed his eyes. He looked around and noticed he was still in the stables, hugging his horse.
He sat back and looked around, before grinning.
He wasn't sure what was up with the dream, but it made him feel better. It gave him hope.
Edmund stood up and dusted himself, before walking back towards the castle.
He couldn't dilly dally around, he had to save his brother, who had ended up getting in trouble again.
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To be Continued
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Okay, how was that? Did that sound a bit like Edmund? I hope it did….I'm not too sure how to write Edmund at times…gawh! He's so hard to write! But I think it came out alright….sigh….
I love Peter and Edmund's relationship!! Hmm…..hope ya'll liked this chapter!!
Next chapter is our dear Caspian……..hahaha, I love the next chapter, actually…..if I do say so myself…..hmmm…..
anyways, review please!!