A/N Okay sorry I haven't updated in a while. I was writing for my other stories. I think this chapter is funny... I don't know... it may just be me. well, enjoy!-
BPOV
I was coming home from Jake's house and right before I turned into the concealed driveway of the Cullen's I realized that Edward broke up with me. I have no right in going to their house.
But that wasn't going to stop me now.
But then I realized what was I going to say? 'Hey! What's wrong with you guys? You aren't normal. What are you?' Yea, that's going to go over nicely.
Then I realized I was stopped in the middle of the road. Should I turn? Should I just go back home?
A horn from behind me honked. I looked back to see an old rabbit Volkswagen behind me. I don't recognize that car... but I recognized the driver.
"Ugh, Jacob? What are you doing here? I just need to thi-"
"Thank Philips I found you." Jake ran over to me and grabbed me into a huge air tight hug.
"What the crap Jake? What are you doing? What's going on?" I choked out.
He didn't answer me. But he did, however, pick me up fireman style and carry back to his car.
"What are you DOING?!" I was kicking and screaming now. Unfortunately I hit my head on the car frame and I realized I had been knocked out. 1
The blackness slowly faded into a pale light gray.
"I'm so, so sorry Bella." I heard a mumble from my left. I looked over to find Jacob, head in hands and elbows on knees, bent over and mumbling half asleep..
"That doesn't help." I mumbled back, rubbing the bump on the side of my head.
He jumped up and looked at me with postal eyes. He was scaring me... actually he was reminding me of being around Edward. I shivered at his name.
"Are you okay? Does it hurt? It shouldn't be bad. You look fine. You scared the crap out of me Bella. You were out for about an hour."
"That doesn't help." I mumbled again.
"What can I do to help?" He asked desperately.
"Shut up." I said so dryly.
The door opened and a doctor came in. I saw from the corner of my eye Jacob tensing.
"I have to go." He said in a voice like he was going through a smelly and polluted part of town. He exited through a different door the doctor was standing at.
"Isabella Swan?" The doctor said like he couldn't believe it was me.
I looked closer at him and found some similarities between him and Edward.
"Oh, no."
"Ah, well... um... hmm... well," He pulled himself together and started looking at his chart. "I'm Dr. Cullen, and I've looked at your chart. It seems that it's nothing serious. Your friend just got a little spooked. But he did the right thing. I'll get you some pain medication and your discharge papersThen you're free to go." He turned around but before he left he turned around. "Thank you Bella, now I have to skip work for a lovely holiday with the penguins and polar bears." And with that he left.
"What?"
EPOV
I was on my way to Bell's house. My phone rang but I ignored it. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I was furious. Rosalie knew something... and she had kept it from me for who knows how long. Was anyone else in on it too?
I swerved into an empty driveway, 007 style, which was a ways away from the Swan residence.
The air smelled of humans... but it was stale. There were no new scents in the air. I was safe to run.
I was behind her house now. I took a step and the ground seemed to move with me. I looked down and found the clothes Bella had thrown out the window that I had in turn thrown into the forest. I smiled and walked forward.
I climbed up the side of her house and entered her bed room. I felt strangely invigorated with being here, in her room, where she sleeps, where she does her homework, where she reads, where she gets ready for the day, where she lives.
I didn't know what I was doing here. Speaking of which, what am I doing here? Am I looking for evidence? Waiting for Bella to come home? Stealing all of her stuff and dumping it in the river?
I realized I had no clue.
My phone rang. I looked at the caller I.D. - Alice H. (as if there was another Alice I knew)
I growled and answered it reluctantly.
"You're looking for evidence but I can just tell you if you want.. Oh I have to tell you that-" I snapped the phone shut, having all the information I need.
Okay I am looking for evidence. Evidence that Bella isn't bi-polar and actually for some reason likes me. Yea, that makes all the sense in the world.
I started with under the mattress. I have in my head that all females with something to hide will have it concealed under a mattress. I was right. But I doubt that Dora the Explorer PJ's prove anything.
I avoided the dresser. A woman has the right to some privacy. So the dresser remained unsearched while the rest of the entire room I shook down. (In a mannerly way of course)
I came over to the desk and on the floor was an orange poster sheet with writing on it. I picked it up. On the top corner was, - How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days- Under that was -Edward-
Isn't it funny that whatever you're looking for is always in the last place you look?
Wow. So... she... she... this was... this was all for a job? She put me through the most awkward moments... so she can write an article? Brat on Saturday. OCD on Thursday. Bi-polar on Tuesday. Soshe was just using me? Using me for some job acceptance?
Wow. I just realized that this woman is more amazing than I thought.
Now where is she?
BPOV
I'm walking home because Jacob inconveniently left me here... stranded... with the father of the son that I drove crazy.
I've never been in love before. I've learned a lot of things. Before this, I never even thought about killing myself.
I think I missed a turn. Oh, no it's ahead of me. Wait... no. I'm supposed to turn... there? Hmm... wow, I've lived here all my life and I don't know how to get home. I'm supposed to turn at a tallgreenfunny looking tree. I sighed. It's all green to me. 2
For some reason I just kept walking. I don't know why. When was there ever a reason to walk? Oh, wait - to get places. But I don't know where I'm going.
"Why did Jake leave me? Did he seriously not think about how I was going to get home? That doesn't sound like him. He's usually very compassionate and selfless... but when the doctor came in... hmm the doctor came in... Dr. Cullen. Edward Cullen." I was figuring things out. "Jake doesn't want me to hang around with them. I really need to figure out what's wrong with everybody!" I huffed, whichof course, made my entire body collapse.
"Ow... that was not pleasant." I stated at no body in particular as I tried to get up from the soggy ground. "Tried" being the key word. After the fifth attempt I gave up. Who needs to stand anyway when you can sit on a lovely wet and dirty ditch?
This is probably the best day and worst day in my life. It's been the worst day because everything could have gone better. And it's the best day because I've had a lot worse.
I've never played the banjo... but I reckon if you handed me one now, I'd be the best damn blue-grass player in the whole state of Washington... which isn't saying anything.
I wonder if I can get fat sitting here day after day, doing nothing... but that would be a challenge seeing as how eating is not categorized under doing nothing.
I heard a car pull up from behind me. Which was weird. Because I was in a ditch.
A red jeep crawled out from the woods.
"Why hello." I said to either the driver or the little chipmunk and the squirrel. I'll take either.
The car door slammed shut, which was weird because I didn't hear it open.
"Are you okay?" A smooth voice that could only belong to one of the Cullen'svoiced.
"No. I'm Bella." I think the past few days have taken its toll on me. Either that or it's almost my time of the month again. I shook it off. I'm acting like a retard. "Sorry.. Um, yea, I'm fine. My head hurts and my butt is starting to wrinkle but other than that I'm peachy."
I turned to see who it was. It was Rosalie and Esme staring at me.
"What happened?" Esme asked concerned.
"Well you see. I sat down on this here patch of dirt. It was wet, no duh, and it's starting seeping through my pants. I was too lazy to move so right about now I think my butt is starting to prune. -"
"Bella we're talking about your head." Rosalie cut me off.
"Oh, sorry. I'm not normally like this. I'm usually much crazier." I slowly straightened out my legs coming to a stand. "Just kidding. I'm just a little... hyper." I stared the two ladies down. Remembering my mission.
I thought of something. "Hey, how did you know I was hurt and that I was walking home?"
"Because, Rose and I tried to go for some shopping but a car was parked right outside of our driveway blocking us. Rose almost ran it over."
"Well I tried to." Rose muttered.
"Then we smelled this awful smell and well... um... we knew the car was yours. We called Carlisle and he said he had just seen you come in from a small concussion. Are you okay?"
Esme asked again.
"Yea, I'm fine. My friend, Jake, drove me to the hospital... well, I think he's still my friend. Anyway he left me at the hospital and I'm fine. So, now I'm walking home. Or I tried. I was never one for hiking." I thought some more. They were probably going to take me home... hmmm... that was not going to work. "Do you mind if I go to your house to get cleaned up. My parents would probably freak if they saw me like this."
"Sure sweetie." Esme said in her motherly voice.
A/N Insert normal ending Aurthor's notes. The normal, yes I am evil. Review! blah blah blah
Oh and the contest thingy was pretty much for my own enjoyment. I was amused. hehe... you guys are crazy! I love it! There still will be a winner and what not.
1 I just had to stall Bella for a little while. Why? I'm not so sure right now...
2 It's a play on the "It's all greek to me." line thingy. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about. That's cool. It makes you use your imaginationn.
- Rosalie