Eight Point Star
Alec thought he should be healed and back to normal by now. He was, after all, a Shadowhunter with superior physical strengths and with access to healing and strengthening runes. Furthermore, he did not remember ever having received so much magic or potions before in his life. He could not understand why he was not bouncing back as fast as he was used to; why he was still so tired and weak that even a trip down the stairs left him breathless; and why he still felt like someone had just hit him with a sledgehammer squarely on the chest. The Nephilim were not generally afflicted by illness and, thus, were not particularly good patients. They certainly failed miserably in the patience test. When Shadowhunters fell ill, it was usually in old age. If they were injured, which was quite a common occurrence, they either died or rapidly mended. As a result, the general expectation was that if a Shadowhunter did not die, they should get up from their hospital bed and go immediately back to their duties. Anything less was considered a sign of weakness.
"Shouldn't I be back to full strength by now?" Alec asked, as Catarina examined him and sent jet another stream of magic towards his ankle, meant to strengthen the bone and ease his pain. "I mean it's been over a week."
"We have no roadmap for the injuries you suffered, Alec," replied Tessa who at that moment was setting a tray with yet more potions on the coffee table. "As far as we know, no other Nephilim has ever gone through what you have gone through. Your body just needs time to recover. Your skin, at least, has healed nicely; you will have no visible scars from the burns," she added examining Alec's arm which just days ago had been covered in horrible blisters.
"But that is the thing," Alec argued. "It was not really my body that went to the Seven Circle. My body was here all along."
"The soul has no other way to manifest injuries, except for the body to which it is joined," Catarina responded. "Your body suffered, broke and burned in response to what your soul was enduring. It is only natural that your body will also be the conduit for healing your soul."
Upon knowing that Magnus was safely back, Alec had had a fairly decent night sleep, and, in the morning, he had even felt strong enough to get himself out of bed and downstairs to the living room. He had woken up slowly and to the faint sound of water running in the bathroom. Still half asleep, he had reached for the side of the bed where Magnus usually slept. But he had found it empty and cold, and when he finally opened his eyes and looked, he saw that the bed covers were not disturbed there. Magnus had slept somewhere else and had only come into the room in the morning to shower.
Alec had laid quietly for a few minutes listening to the sound of water while he looked up at the ceiling. After a few moments, he had remembered the remote control that had rested on the night table the last time he and Magnus spent the night in this room, and had reached for it, pressing the button to open the mechanic blinds on the skylight. The reward for the effort had been that he could see blue sky peeking through cottony clouds and between the tree tops that surrounded the cottage. The view was as beautiful and peaceful as he remembered, the occasional birdsong the only noise. That, and the sound of the shower in the bathroom where Alec imagined the water running through Magnus' hair and caressing Magnus' golden skin.
As he turned and slowly and carefully swung his legs out of bed, his body complaining with every movement and twist, he had thought that his health was not the only thing that needed improvement, that his and Magnus' relationship also needed considerable mending. Wanting to give Magnus privacy, and knowing that neither of them was yet ready to go back to things the way they were before, he had gotten up, put on jeans and a button-down shirt someone had left for him at the foot of the bed and slowly headed downstairs.
He had felt much better and his legs had seemed quite capable to sustaining his weight. Yet, by the time he had made it to the living room, he was breathing shallowly and was so dizzy that he had to sit down and catch his breath. Tessa and Catarina, who at that moment had been sitting at the kitchen counter, cups of coffee in their hands, had turned and looked at him with a mixture of surprise and relief. They had then quickly, and despite his protestations, jumped into healing and nursing mode.
Keeping her hand a couple of inches above his body, Catarina now sent gentle streams of magic towards Alec, starting near his injured ankle and slowly moving up his leg and towards his chest, diagnosing and healing as she went along. The magic gave Alec a tingling sensation that was both soothing and strengthening. When she reached Alec's chest, she stopped at a spot over his sternum, just a couple of inches from his heart, and a look of puzzlement, curiosity and concern came to her face. She lifted the hand that was not performing magic to her mouth in a gesture of deep contemplation. After a second, and as if she was testing a theory, she rested the hand performing magic on Alec's sternum.
The contact made Alec jump as if he had received an electric shock, and his chest suddenly swelled as if filling with what Alec could only describe as energy, the sensation tingling the inside of his chest cavity. For a second, he thought he saw multicolor threads of energy swirling around the room and reaching for the spot on his chest where Catarina's hand rested.
"What was that?" Alec asked startled. He then saw a look he could not quite identify pass between Catarina and Tessa. "What is it?" he asked even more urgently.
"Can I take a look at your chest Alec?" Catarina asked, uncertainty and anxiety joining curiosity on her face.
Alec unbuttoned his shirt exposing his chest and then looked down at the spot on his sternum where Catarina's hand had rested a moment ago. That was the spot where Alec had received the blow from the magic energy Magnus had used to propel him out of hell, and the blast had originally left an angry and excruciatingly painful burn. The burn had healed but the spot was still sore. Now as he looked down, he saw that the burn had left a scar, a rather odd scar that did not look red as it was expected of burns. Rather, this scar was silver, almost luminescent, and looked awfully like a star, a star that instead of five points, had eight. As he looked at the scar, it began to fade, as if sinking into the skin.
Alec had not noticed the scar when he got dressed this morning and having been unconscious for most of the last few days, had no idea whether it had been there before. However, something told him that neither Tessa, nor Catarina, had seen or noticed it until now.
"Can you sit up, so I can see your back?" Catarina asked, her voice measured and nurse-like.
Alec did as he was told, and he didn't need to see for himself to know that his back exhibited a similar scar. This time, Catarina rested her hand against a spot between Alec's shoulder blades, and the tingling sensation returned at the same time that the scar on his chest, and apparently also the one on his back, glowed once again before beginning to fade until they almost disappeared. Tessa and Catarina's expression of puzzlement that quickly turned into shock or perhaps fear told him that what was happening was not something they had ever seen before.
"That is where I grabbed Alec's soul with my magic to pull him across the veil," Tessa quietly commented, pointing to the spot between Alec's shoulder blades.
"It may just be scar tissue," Catarina speculated. "It could be that there are still remnants of energy from the Seventh Circle lingering between skin and muscle." For some reason, however, Alec did not think that Catarina truly believed her own explanation.
"What kind of spell were you just trying out Catarina?" Magnus' unmistakable voice came from the second floor, followed by the sound of his steps on the stairs. "Are you trying to bring down the wards? It won't work, you know. My wards are notoriously unbreakable."
Alec quickly pulled his shirt down and began to do the buttons, sending a clear signal to the two women that he did not want Magnus to know about the scars, at least not for now.
"Good morning Magnus, how did you sleep?" has asked turning to the stairway as Magnus reached the last step.
Despite the dark shadows under his eyes, evidence of his lingering exhaustion, the warlock looked considerably more like himself this morning. His jet-black hair stylishly stuck out in all directions and reflected the morning light coming in through the window. His two-day stubble was perfectly sculpted and trimmed, and the dark red shirt and black jeans he wore hugged his body perfectly. The hairdo, the stubble and the clothes, along with the jewelry and the makeup he wore around his eyes, made Magnus look surprisingly manly without appearing ultra-masculine, as if in Magnus all those things found perfect harmony. Alec thought, not for the first time, that Magnus was probably one of the most stylish men he knew, not that he knew much about style himself. It was perhaps that Magnus was completely comfortable in his skin, in a way he, Alec, wished one day also to feel.
"I slept quite well, thank you," Magnus replied, his tone towards Alec overly polite. "How are you feeling Alexander?"
"Stronger, but my two doctors here think that I still have some ways to go," Alec said sitting up. He then looked from Catarina to Tessa and saw that they had both managed to conceal the look of concern from a moment ago.
"I would listen to them," Magnus stated with a bright smile as he sat on the arm of the sofa, very close but not touching Alec. "You do not want to know what Catarina does to her patients when they do not follow her instructions. So," he added turning to Catarina, "what kind of ancient spell were you trying to perform just now? Was it elemental magic that I felt? You almost blew up the lightbulbs in the bathroom, you know."
"I don't know what you are talking about Magnus," Catarina said in the tone she usually used when speaking to her oldest friend in the world. "For the look of your hair, I would say that it was the inordinate amount of hair spray your used that caused the lights to flicker."
Alec pretended to be engrossed in the banter but from the corner of his eyes, he looked at Tessa and saw the pensive expression in her face. Something about the scars on his body had unsettled her, or perhaps it was that she knew what the scars meant. Perhaps, the news was not good, and he was not really getting better. Perhaps he was even getting worse; perhaps his time in hell had wounded him in ways that could not be healed. That would explain why he was not getting stronger. Perhaps he was not really out of the woods yet.
"Alexander," Magnus' voice interrupted his gloomy thoughts. "I asked if you were hungry. Do you feel up to eating a good breakfast?"
"Yes, I think I could eat a little," he replied turning to Magnus, the warlock's smile momentarily making him forget his concerns. As usual, Magnus' smile had a magnetic pull on Alec, especially when his eyes also smiled and gleamed the way they did this morning, and he could not help but corresponding that smile. For a moment, Alec thought that Magnus would reach with his hand and touch him the way he had done so many times before. He even thought that he saw Magnus' hand move a little in his direction, and his heart skipped a beat and his skin tingled in anticipation. But either Alec imagined it, or Magnus halted the gesture. For instead, Magnus stood up and headed for the kitchen, announcing that he would make his famous French toast.
"When are you going to finally admit that you stole that recipe from Julia Child, Magnus?" Catarina said, keeping up with Magnus' good humor.
"I taught Julia the recipe," Magnus retorted, a feigned tone of outrage in his voice. "It was she who failed to give me credit for it."
They ate at the kitchen counter and in good humored companionship, and Alec even managed to finish half of his food and have a whole cup of coffee before he was too tired to keep eating and had to return to the sofa for a rest. All through the meal, the three warlocks kept a lively conversation, a conversation that covered all kinds of topics except for the events of the last few weeks. They were not ready to speak about what had happened yet; it was still too fresh in their minds, and Alec suspected that they were also being considerate towards him because they thought he was not yet strong enough for difficult conversations.
Magnus and Alec kept surreptitiously looking in each other's direction, and every time their eyes met, they smiled, and Alec was sure that he, at least, blushed in more than one occasion. The energy between them was palpable, it was like a magnetic field building, expanding and contracting between them. The sensation made the butterflies in Alec's stomach flutter, and his heart swell with a love he wished he could profess for all to hear. It was as if they were back to those first days of their acquaintance when they were not yet certain where they stood with one another, when the attraction that they felt for each other was like a force that they could not resist even if they didn't know what to do about it. Alec wished he could reach and rest his hand against Magnus' cheek or run his fingers through Magnus' hair, but he didn't because there were things to say and this was not the time to say them.
Magnus, on his part, felt like a swarm of birds had suddenly come awake in his chest, and they got even more rowdy every time Alec turned those deep brown eyes on him. His fingers itched to touch the Shadowhunter, run through his skin making sure he was really okay. His arms wanted to wrap themselves around Alec ascertaining that, in fact, he was solid and present and not just an invention of Magnus' imagination. Like he had felt during the first few weeks after he had met Alec, when they were just friends who hanged out and shared drinks, Magnus felt nervous and his heart was in suspense, and he thought he would explode if he didn't release some of the energy building within him. He was happy beyond belief that Alec was alive, and he wanted with all his heart to hold him in his arms, to kiss him, to run his hands up and down his back, but something made him feel unaccountably shy.
For the next few days, Alec continued getting stronger, not as fast as he expected, but stronger nonetheless. Neither Catarina nor Tessa mentioned again the scars on Alec's chest and back, and not wanting to worry Magnus, Alec did not say anything either. He did examine the spot on his chest though and noticed that, while most of the time, the scar was barely visible, a few times at least, it seemed to glow with more intensity. The scars were odd in their shape, colour and symmetry. They looked as if a spear had pierced his chest from front to back, leaving a trace of metal as it passed through, metal that sometimes sparkled eerily both on his chest and back.
Alec and Magnus remained polite, attentive and solicitous towards one another. But they kept their distance even if the distance was small. Neither of them reached for the other, and neither did they bring up the issues that had caused their argument, or the experiences each of them had endured during their time in hell. Yet, they talked easily with one another, without awkward silences, or uncomfortable topics.
Alec came downstairs every morning and sometimes sat out in the terrace with Tessa or Magnus, and they discussed books, history, movies, music or favorite restaurants. Tessa, Magnus and Catarina also diverted Alec with stories of their many adventures and of the people they had met over the centuries of their lives. Sometimes, they just sat quietly, listening to music, readings, or simply lost in their own thoughts.
When Alec got tired, which was quite often, he napped on the sofa and woke up with Magnus sitting beside him, a book or an ancient manuscript in his hand, quietly reading or working, while keeping watch over him. Every time he needed to take potions, Catarina or Tessa prepared them, but Magnus was the one to administer them to him. Magnus also always stood nearby when Tessa or Catarina performed healing or strengthening spells on Alec and he constantly asked him if he felt better or needed anything. Furthermore, Magnus made sure that Alec ate and brought him coffee or a snack every time he thought too many hours had passed since Alec's last meal. Yet at night, Alec went to bed alone in Magnus' bed. Magnus sometimes accompanied him upstairs if he thought Alec was too tired and might stumble, but then he came to sleep on the sofa.
During those nights, Alec laid awake for a long while, looking up at the dark sky through the skylight, which blinds he kept permanently open, and imagined Magnus downstairs, lying on the white couch. He pictured his face that looked even more youthful when he slept, the way his hair fell across his forehead and his eyes fluttered when he dreamt. But he did not come downstairs, neither did he ask Magnus to come to bed with him. They were not ready yet; Alec knew that there were things that needed saying before they could put this terrible episode behind them and hopefully move forward.
In the same way that Alec laid awake thinking of Magnus, Magnus spent hours pacing back and forth his living room, wishing with all his heart that he could run up the stairs, walk into the bedroom and claim a place in Alec's life once again. He longed, like he had not done in a long time, for the taste and feel of Alec's lips, for the sensation of Alec's touch, and the incredible thrill of coming undone in Alec's arms and having Alec come undone in his. But, for one, Alec was not yet completely recovered, and there were things that still needed to be sorted between them.
Neither of them doubted the strength of the feelings they each had for the other. The events of the last few weeks had proven their might. They were just not certain whether those feelings would be strong enough to build a life on. Magnus did not know whether Alec had overcome his struggled with Magnus' immortality and the memories he carried from his past lives, and Alec did not know whether Magnus had forgiven him for the stupid mistake that had brought them to such a terrible impasse. So, they resigned themselves to living in a state of suspense, biding their time until things settled, and they could talk.
After lunch one day, Alec announced that he wanted to go for a walk. He was feeling cabin fever – a good sign, thought Catarina – and craved the feel of open space. Alec had not been outside the first time he had come to the cottage; in fact, he was not even certain that there was a way to get down from this house that seemed to float tens of meters above the ground. After asking him whether he truly felt up to the challenge, Magnus offered to accompany him and guided him through a set of wooden stairs that started off the terrace and spiraled down the trunk of a gigantic Douglas fir. As they went, Magnus stopped every so often to point the different features of the beautiful landscape that surrounded the small island on which the cottage was located. The place reminded Alec a little of Idris, with its majestic mountains and snow-peaked volcanoes visible through the trees. The only difference was the scent of brine and seaweed that told Alec that they were near the ocean.
Once they got to the bottom of the stairs, they walked for a while along a trail that zigzagged among the trees following the contours of the island. When they arrived at a small beach, they sat on a rock silently and without touching, just the sound of the ocean lapping against the shore interrupting the stillness.
"This is a beautiful place Magnus," Alec said after a long while. "It is such a privilege to be here after what we went through, don't you think?" It was the first time that Alec made any reference to their ordeal and even though he did not say anything more, Magnus knew exactly what he meant. "I wish I could stay here forever, live like a mundane, have an ordinary life, be completely oblivious to the existence of demons. Perhaps I could even become a fisherman, live off the fruits of the sea, or rummage for berries and hunt for game in the forest. Wouldn't that be nice?" he added as he looked out towards the mountains in the distance, a wistful expression in his eyes.
Magnus turned and looked at Alec with surprise. In the time they had known each other, he had always believed that Alec was happy and fulfilled in his life as a Shadowhunter, especially since he had become the leader of the New York Institute. It was a life and a role for which he had trained all his life. But now that Alec mentioned it, Magnus realized that Shadowhunting was not necessarily something Alec had chosen for himself. Like all other Nephilim, his sacred duty had been drilled into him since birth. Magnus thought that while he, Magnus, could not help who he was, Alec had not been given the choice to be anything else. They were in a way, both trapped in lives they had not chosen for themselves. The thought made him a little sad, for there where so many things that he wanted Alec to experience and see; he wanted for Alec a life full of possibilities and dreams but being a Shadowhunter meant being tied to duty. "We are but dust and shadows," was the Shadowhunter motto and that meant that they could be nothing else.
Yet, the sad expression in Alec's eyes told him that perhaps his latest experiences had made him reconsider the direction that his life had taken. Perhaps those experiences were making him wish for a different life, a different destiny, a different outcome. Perhaps having come so close to death had made Alec wish for things he had never thought he missed.
"I can teach you how to fish," Magnus said pushing aside the sad thoughts, not wishing yet to start a conversation that he knew would be painful and difficult. "I was born in a fishing village, you know. I may even have some fishing equipment lying around somewhere. Salmon season is great around these parts."
"I would like that," Alec replied, a tentative smile lifting the corners of his mouth and competing with the melancholy of a moment ago. At that moment, Magnus was tempted once again to reach with his hand and rest it against Alec's chest, so he could feel Alec's steady and soothing heartbeat drumming against his palm. He wanted to smooth with his fingers the sad expression that stills furrowed Alec's brow. He wanted to kiss him, run his fingers through his hair, pull him against his own body, wrap him in his arms and shelter him. But he contained himself, or rather, the look of sadness and perhaps uncertainty in Alec's eyes stopped him.
They walked back in easy companionship, Magnus regaling Alec with stories of the different times he had built and rebuilt the cottage, and of the local people he had met. By the time they got back, the exercise and the fresh air had returned some of the color to Alec's cheeks and Magnus' stories had managed to push away some of the unhappy thoughts. Still, despite his refusal to accept Magnus' assistance, the effort of climbing all those stairs up to the house exhausted Alec and by the time they reached the terrace, he was breathing harder and moving even slower than usual.
"I think it is time for us to go back to New York," Catarina announced when Magnus and Alec walked in. "Alec is obviously doing better, and Tessa and I have things and people waiting for us."
"Should we all go back then?" Alec asked.
"You are not yet fit for duty," Catarina declared. "I have already informed Jace that you need at least another 5 days, if not ten. It is not even safe for you to use a portal yet. You may be feeling stronger, but you are not fully recovered. You cannot even climb the stairs without losing your breath," she added, waving a hand in Alec's direction as if the evidence was plainly visible. "I will come back to check on you in a couple of days and then we will see. Magnus, I trust that you will keep up with Alec's treatment and monitor his recovery. Do not tire him out, you hear?"
"I will do my best," Magnus replied.
"I expect more than your best," Catarina said.
The next two hour were a flurry of activity with Catarina and Tessa preparing for their departure. At one point, Alec went upstairs to the bedroom to write a fire message to Jace and Izzy informing them that he was doing well and that he hoped to be back soon. He also wanted to reassure them that he trusted that they would keep the Institute running smoothly while he was away. Tessa knocked and walked in as he was finishing sending the message.
"I would like to show you something Alec," she said, a mixture of uncertainty and nervousness in her voice. "Very few people have seen this," she added as with shaking fingers she undid the top buttons of her shirt and, turning, exposed her shoulder for Alec to see. There on her shoulder blade, a silver mark was clearly visible against her fair skin, a silver mark that looked like a halfmoon.
"How did you get that?" Alec asked trying to gather his thoughts, for the similarities between his own scars and Tessa's was undeniable.
"You know I am half-Nephilim. My mother was an unmarked Shadowhunter. Yet, the demon blood that runs in my veins also makes me a warlock. I was born without a demon mark and without powers; this mark appeared on my skin when my magic first started manifesting."
"What does that mean? Do you think your mark has some connection to the scars on my skin?" Alec's mind was racing, several thoughts rattling around his skull, crashing against one another, not making any sense.
"I don't know," she replied with as much honesty as she could infuse into the words. "I don't know why you came back from hell with marks like those on you," Tessa added, reaching and taking Alec's hand, the gesture warm and comforting. "They may mean nothing; they may even disappear in a few days, weeks or months. They may even mean that the kind of contact you had with demonic forces had a particular effect on you as a Nephilim. Whatever it is, I will help you figure it out. You can count on me as you know you can also count on Magnus. He helped me once in ways that I cannot even begin to explain, and I will help you if you let me. In the meantime, try not to worry. You still have some healing to do."
"Thank you, Tessa," Alec said, and his voice was full of sincerity; for Tessa as well as Catarina had risked so much to help him. All along he had thought that they had assisted him because of their loyalty and friendship towards Magnus. But now Tessa was offering a gift of friendship meant just for him, and he was grateful.
"I will be in touch," Tessa announced as she stood on tiptoes and kissed Alec on the cheek. "In the meantime, do not fret over what you cannot know or control yet."
"Do you want me to pick up some takeout on my way back?" Magnus asked Alec as he and Tessa came downstairs and found Magnus in the middle of the living room opening the portal through which he would take their friends home.
"Sure," Alec replied. He then hugged Tessa and Catarina in turn and thanked them for everything they had done for him.
"Remember to take it easy," Catarina told him in her best schoolmaster voice before she stepped through the portal after Tessa.
"I will be back shortly," Magnus then said as he too walked through. The portal then flickered and vanished in a shower of tiny sparkles, leaving the house in silence.
For a few moments, Alec stared at the spot where portal had been and thought that he would miss the two women who, in their own particular ways, had become permanent fixtures of his life in the last weeks. He would miss Tessa's quiet intelligence and unassuming demeanor; he would even miss Catarina's dry humor and sharp tongue. He, who had been raised in a climate of distrust towards anyone who was not a Nephilim, and especially towards Downwolders, would have never imagined that he would grow so close and be so thankful to those two warlocks.
Suddenly aware of the emptiness and silence that surrounded him, Alec took a turn around the room, and realized that for the first time in a long time he had no mission to accomplish, no immediate duties to fulfill or reports to write. The sensation was strange. Yet, perhaps because he was tired and still weak, it was not unsettling. It occurred to him that perhaps he should find something to do: read a book, do maintenance on his bow and quiver which had managed to survive the journey back from hell strapped to Magnus' back, or even tidy up or clean the kitchen. But then he thought better of it, and instead walked out on the terrace and leaned against the railing, admiring once again the breathtaking view, letting the sunlight and the landscape pull him into a state of silent meditation. He didn't know how long he stood there, relishing in the quiet and peace, but at one point, he became aware of the breeze that ruffled his hair and he imagined what it would be like to be a bird gliding in the wind, completely careless and free. Wanting to experience that sensation of freedom, he closed his eyes, looked up to the sky, extended his arms wide and let the wind kiss his face. As he did, he imagined that he could fly, that he could travel with the wind to new and unknown places, places where there were no demons, or hell and the horror it contained. For a split moment, he even thought that he was floating above the ground, untethered and completely free, and the sensation was exhilarating and liberating.
Rather than portaling right into the middle of the living room, and not wanting to startle Alec, Magnus directed the portal to open in the foyer by the entrance. When he stepped through and set the takeout bags on the floor, he noticed how quiet the place was and wondered whether Alec, exhausted after their walk, had fallen asleep. Yet, as he quietly walked into the living room, Magnus saw that Alec was standing out on the terrace with his eyes closed, his face turned up towards the sky and his arms extended to the winds. The setting sun kissed his face and painted his skin in gold, red and orange, making him look almost luminous, like an angel touched by the hand of god. The scene was utterly serene and so strikingly beautiful that it took Magnus' breath away. He stood motionless for a while, refusing to move for fear that he would break the spell and the image of Alec the angel would dissolve.
After a few moments and perhaps feeling his presence, Alec opened his eyes, brought his arms down to his sides, turned to look at Magnus and smiled, one of those smiles capable of illuminating the darkest of nights. "You are back," he said. "How was New York?"
As if he had been overtaken by a power he could not control, or as if his feet were moving of their own volition, Magnus wordlessly walked with sure and steady steps towards Alec, his eyes looking at the Shadowhunter with a burning intensity. As Alec had done all those months ago, Magnus stopped just a few inches in front of him. He then reached for Alec's hand, the way he had wanted to do ever since he returned from the Spiral Labyrinth, the feel of Alec's skin sending shivers up and down Magnus' spine. Alec's breath caught in his throat and goosebumps rose on the skin, and Magnus thought his heart was melting.
For a moment, they stood silently looking into each other's eyes, just their hands touching while their hearts drummed against their chests. And then Magnus shifted his gaze from Alec's eyes down to his lips, and for a second, he thought the anticipation was going to undue him. Yet he managed to resist a little longer, wanting to delay the gratification he knew was just within reach, wanting to savor every millisecond, commit them to memory so he could remember this moment for ever. When he thought the waiting would kill him, he finally and very gently closed the distance between his lips and Alec's, the feel of those soft lips and the scent of Alec invading every corner of him, erasing everything else, until nothing else existed in the world but this man he loved with an intensity that overwhelmed him.
At the beginning, the kiss was soft, gentle and even chaste, but then Alec let go of the breath that had caught in his chest. As he did, he parted his lips, just a little but oh so enticingly that Magnus could not help but run his tongue over those lips. The gesture stoked the fire that had never truly gone out between them, and before they knew it, Magnus was running the hand that was not holding Alec's hand down Alec's back and Alec was running the fingers of his own free hand through Magnus' hair. As the kiss intensified, Magnus became tongue and Alec mouth, and Magnus explored him thoroughly, staking a new claim on the Shadowhunter. Alec leaned against the railing and Magnus followed, and soon Alec was trapped between the railing and Magnus' strong body, and he thought he would rather lose his freedom for ever if it meant that he could remain exactly where he was.
Magnus and Alec had had a first kiss before, a wonderful first kiss that had also been a moment of decision, the moment when Alec openly recognized who he was for the first time. But this tender and gentle kiss also felt like a first, a new discovery, a new surrender and a new beginning. Magnus thought that Alec's lips were the gateway into heaven, and Alec felt that the kiss was finally knitting to his body the last of his soul that was still unattached, healing him and completing him.
Alec brought his hand to Magnus' cheek, the touch soft and demanding at the same time, and Magnus, wanting to melt into Alec's body, moved even closer, wrapping his arms around Alec's waist and pulling him to him. Suddenly, an involuntary whimper escaped Alec's lips and the memory of Alec's injured body abruptly brought Magnus back to his senses and he let go of his claim on Alec's lips and tried to pull away. But Alec stopped him by wrapping one of his arms around Magnus' waist to hold him in place. He then rested his forehead against Magnus' forehead, his breathing shallow and his eyes close.
"I hurt you," Magnus whispered, his own chest rising and falling rapidly.
"I am fine Magnus, just a little sore, that's all." Alec's voice was also a whisper.
"Do you want to go in and sit down?"
"No, I want to stay here with you forever," Alec replied and regaled Magnus with another of his dazzling smiles, not a trace of sadness in his expression. It was Alec then the one to claim Magnus' lips, he the one to gently entice them to part so his own tongue could explore his mouth. It was Alec the one to pull Magnus closer, pushing past pain and discomfort, wanting to feel every inch of Magnus' body against his own. At that moment Alec thought he understood what it felt like to drink after days of thirst, to feel the sun against one's skin after decades in the darkness, to breath fresh air for the first time in one's life. He did not care that his body still pained him, he did not care for the scars that now marked his chest. He only cared for the sublime sensation of Magnus so close to him.
"I too want to remain here for all eternity, Alexander," Magnus said much, much later when he was sure his lips were swollen and red from all that kissing, and his skin and clothes were completely impregnated with Alec's masculine scent. "But it gets awfully cold here at night and Catarina would kill me if you got pneumonia because of me."
Alec smiled once again, his forehead resting against Magnus'. He then looked up and realized that daylight had completely surrendered to a dark night and that the sounds of birdsongs had been replaced by the hooting of owls awakening for another night of hunting. A shiver run through him and he realized that his back was cold from leaning against the railing for so long, and that it was likely that his feet had also gone to sleep.
"Come Alexander," Magnus said, taking Alec's hand and turning to walk back inside. "I am glad I brought sushi, or after all this time, I would have had to heat our dinner. Now I only have to heat the miso soup and that, I can do with a simple spell."
They walked back inside and while Magnus set up dinner on the coffee table, Alec lighted a fire, the smell of smoke comforting and familiar. They then sat on the floor in front of the fire and ate and talked, and for a while they forgot their misadventure and the weeks of separation and sadness. Instead, they relished in the feeling of simply being with one another, just two people who were getting to know one another once again, two people united by feelings and emotions that were as old as time.
Alec, using his chopsticks, placed a piece of deep fried banana covered in caramel in Magnus' mouth, and the gesture was inviting and full of promise. Magnus did the same, and he followed the gesture with a kiss, the taste of sugar and fruit in Alec's lips awakening every one of his senses. Knowing that there was no way that he could top Magnus' gesture, Alec gave up on his attempt to feed Magnus. Instead, he grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him towards him, claiming his mouth, the kiss demanding and giving with astonishing greediness and generosity. Slowly and with incredible seductiveness, he began to run his lips down Magnus' neck starting at his ear and ending at that sweet spot where neck met shoulder and where Magnus' scent was the most intoxicating.
"I thought I would never get to kiss you again, Magnus" he whispered between shallow breaths a while later, and Magnus knew exactly what Alec meant, for he too had lost hope of ever having the Shadowhunter in his arms again.
They kissed and caressed each other for hours that night, each one wanting to once again memorize the taste and feel of the other. They did not make love, however, or rather they expressed love in other ways. It was not something they agreed on; it was simply not something they wanted to rush into, especially considering that Alec was not yet fully recovered. Instead, they held each other, speaking little sweet things in each other' ears, relishing in the pure sensation of being in each other's arms. At one point, exhausted after such an eventful day, Alec dozed off, his head resting on Magnus' lap, and Magnus spent a long while watching him sleep and running his fingers through his messy hair, while listening to the soothing sound of the ocean in the distance. After a while, however, he grew concerned that Alec would be even more sore and weak in the morning if he slept on the floor and gently awoke him.
"Let's get you up to bed, Alexander" he whispered, as he helped Alec to his feet and then up the stairs. "Good night," he then said at the door of his bedroom and before he could change his mind, turned and went back downstairs, to his spot on the sofa, happier than he had been in a long time.
They were on the couch having coffee the next morning, the weak spring sunshine filtering through the enormous windows and illuminating Magnus' golden skin and bouncing against his black hair still wet from the shower. Alec sat beside him, their bodies touching, and Magnus was telling him about a new ancient manuscript he had been hired to translate. After a moment, Alec turned to look at Magnus and smiled in a particularly suggestive way.
"What is it?" Magnus asked feeling suddenly self-conscious. "Do I have a milk mustache?"
"No," replied Alec. "It is just that this is the image that I pictured in my mind when you asked me to remember this place." He then shifted his gaze away from Magnus' eyes and slowly traced with his own eyes the length of Magnus' long neck and continued down Magnus' muscular chest and stomach visible through his open silk robe. The sensation of Alec's eyes on him felt like the touch of feather on Magnus's skin, and the force of those eyes made his skin respond with millions of goosebumps.
As his eyes continued their journey, Alec bit his lower lip in that way that always made Magnus a little crazy. "You here beside me, looking as you do now, was the image that beckoned me out of the void and back into the world. This was the image with which you saved me," Alec added. He then bent down and planted a gentle kiss in the middle of Magnus' chest, in the same spot where now Alec bore the scar from when Magnus pushed him out of that horrible red hell. His mouth then began a slow journey up along Magnus sternum and in the direction of Magnus' neck. His fingers followed suit, tracing slow maddening circles on Magnus' abdomen and chest, circles that felt electric and magnetic and that clouded Magnus' mind until he thought he would forget even his own name. When Alec finally reached his lips, Magnus performed a quick spell with which he deposited the coffee cup he had been holding on the table, freeing his hand. He then entangled his fingers in Alec's hair, the last remnants of the spell leaving luminescent traces as they went along.
For a while, nothing else in the universe existed but the maddeningly soft touch of Alec's fingers on his skin, the feel of Alec's soft and demanding lips, and the scent and taste of Alec in his own lips. Magnus surrendered to the touch and allowed his body to melt against the sofa, allowing Alec to continue drawing lines on his skin, sure that each touch was magical and capable of leaving the feel of Alec permanently edged on his body.
"Alexander," he said when he thought his heart would explode from all the emotions it contained, "I had to go find you because I didn't think I could live without you." Suddenly, Magnus realized that tears were running down his cheeks, and that a torrent of emotions were threatening to overcome him.
Alec rested his forehead against Magnus' and with gentle fingers wiped the tears away. The gesture was so tender and caring that more tears threatened to fall just so Alec could carry them away in his fingers. "Then you know how I felt, for I too could not leave you in that place," he whispered. He then pulled Magnus to him and wrapped his arms around him, sheltering him with his body and allowing Magnus to anchor him once more.
I think this chapter could still use some work, but I hope you enjoy it.