Another week, another chapter! I'm updating a day early this week cause I've got a busy day tomorrow and I don't want to forget, or end up updating really late at night.

Thanks to all who've reviewed so far, and to ashes at midnight: I still picture Buffy as Buffy and I wrote the damn story, so it's okay! ;)

Actually, I refrained from really describing Buffy's new appearance in detail for that reason, I knew changing Buffy would probably irk a lot of readers, so I figured if I kept her physical description to a minimum, it might make it easier for people to accept. So my dear readers, feel free to picture Buffy any which way your little hearts desire. It's fanfic after all, anything goes!

And now, on with the show:

Disclaimer: Nothing but the original characters belong to me. All songs quoted through-out the story are owned by their respective artists.

Rating: M-ish, overall (for violence, mild language, maybe some sexual innuendo in later chapters, but there will be absolutely NO smut!)

"Alone is all we are, even when we we feel this close,
It's just a lie we believe...
These are the words that escape from our lungs,
Rupture the wall I've built around my heart.
I've been shaking,
You can't save me, I'm turning off."
- "Between Rupture and Rapture" by Thursday

Chapter 14: Alone

Buffy pulled her jacket around her frame tighter. The autumn wind seemed to have grown colder since she left Giles' place, but she didn't have the energy to quicken her pace. Dragging her feet, she continued to trudge down the sidewalk towards her home.

She wondered if she had handled the situation with Angel in the right way... she thought back to their first meeting, she knew he would find her again, he was somehow able to always find her when he wanted to; and she knew he would continue to try to help her fight regardless of whether she wanted him to or not. It was just his nature.

"You can't defeat the forces of evil by yourself, you need someone to fight beside you..."

She shivered as his words echoed through her mind, it wasn't the first time he'd said them to her, and she knew they were probably words that pained him to repeat...

Buffy angrily stuffed another t-shirt into her backpack before yanking the zipper shut and hoisting it over her shoulder. Bending down to retrieve the duffel bag at her feet, she threw it open onto the bed, and began unceremoniously filling it with whatever weapons were lying around the tiny hut; a battle axe, a sword, a crossbow, even the rifle she'd scolded Xander for bringing along. The shrill ring of her cellphone cut suddenly through the silence of the room, causing Buffy to shoot it an icy glare.

"Go away..." she muttered under her breath, and continued to throw open the dresser drawers, checking for any items that she may not have accounted for. Finally the ringing stopped. With a sigh, Buffy zipped shut the duffel bag, and sat herself next to it on the bed as she pulled on her combat boots. No sooner had she finished lacing them, then the phone began to ring again. With a grunt of irritation, she rose to her feet, grabbing her bag in one hand, and the phone in the other. Pressing the 'answer' button, she lifted the phone to her ear, and headed towards the front door.

"What?" she barked, as she made her way down the short flight of stairs to the dirt road below, where a tour guide waited beside an idling jeep to bring her to a neighbouring town. Some villagers watched her as they walked past, or spied on her from the doorways of their small huts, they knew that if she was leaving, it meant their lives were safe once again.

"Buffy..." a deep compassionate voice murmured from the earpiece.

Buffy's heart leaped into her throat, as it always had whenever she heard his voice. She inwardly scolded herself for still being affected by him in such a way, even after all these years. Especially given the circumstances.

She took a deep breath, and climbed into the passenger seat of the jeep, "What is it Angel?" she asked, she tried to make her voice sound more pleasant, more feeling, like his was, but she knew her tone was still blunt and aggressive.

He was silent for a minute, as if he was taken aback by her attitude, "I just got off the phone with Willow," he began softly.

"Oh?" Buffy urged him on, as the jeep pulled away from the side of the road, and began to accelerate.

"She was in a panic Buffy, she's worried about you."

"I'm fine... tell her I'm fine." she muttered. She should have known Willow would have tried to stop her, she figured being thousands of miles away from the rest of the gang would keep them from getting involved with this, but she should have known better. Willow was too caring, she would want to help, get involved... but she couldn't this time.

"You're not seriously doing this, are you?" he asked, a hint of panic was beginning to show in his voice.

"Actually, I am. In fact, I'm heading after it as we speak." she stated as she looked out the window and watched the tropical vegetation whizz by.

"Buffy, you're being rash, you can't do this. Just come home, or wait until someone can come help you." he pleaded.

"No. No one is dealing with this but me this time. It's not safe." she argued.

"This isn't like you, please, just take a moment to stop and think, you know this is a bad idea." his voice rose from its gentle tone, he was sensing how unwilling she was to cooperate.

"You want to hear a bad idea? Bringing Xander along was a bad idea. Taking this out by myself, that's the first good idea I've had in awhile. No one is to come help me, and I'm not coming 'home' until it's dead." she replied.

"Buffy, please... you've always known you can't fight the forces of evil by yourself... you need someone to fight beside you." his tone was strangled, desperate, Buffy knew he felt he was losing the battle. But there was something else in his voice as well, something Buffy hadn't heard in awhile; it sounded like despair, or longing. She could feel her face growing warm, and not from the tropical heat, she blinked back her tears a few times, and mentally slapped herself for being so weak.

"Let me fight beside you." he added quietly.

A sorrowful smile played across Buffy's lips, she though of how long she'd wanted to hear him say those words to her, but now it seemed too late. She'd let everyone get too involved, instead of fighting from the sidelines, they'd made their way to the front-lines of the battle, a place they had no business being. And although Angel was much stronger than the rest, she knew she wouldn't be able to survive something happening to him of all people. Her only option was to push him away, something she'd become an expert at over the years.

"No." she replied bluntly.

"Buffy -"

"I said no." she repeated. She raked a trembling hand through her hair in exasperation, "No more Scooby Gang, no more Watcher's Council, or Potentials, or en-souled vampires, and especially no more you... I'm on my own from now on."

She couldn't breathe, she couldn't ever remember being so harsh with Angel, but she felt like she had no choice. Her rant was met with nothing but silence from the other end of the receiver, she wondered if perhaps he had hung up, but finally he spoke;

"Are you sure that's what you want?" he asked, his voice no more than a whisper.

"Yes," Buffy replied, her voice cracking and giving away her facade of resolve.

"Don't do this, please. Just stop and think for a moment -"

"Goodbye Angel." she whispered, and ended the call.

Roughly wiping away the single tear that managed to escape down her cheek, she leaned her head back onto the headrest and closed her eyes, opening them again, she looked down at the phone still clutched in her hand, and switched the power off. From here on out she was alone.

The guide peered at her from the driver's seat of the jeep as the bounced down the unpaved roads, "Are you alright, Miss?" he asked in a pleasant British accent.

Buffy turned to glance briefly at the middle aged man bringing her to her next destination, "Yes, I'm fine." she replied quietly, then turned her attention back to the landscape passing by her window.

That conversation had been haunting her for months, especially since she'd awoke as Madeline and believed it was the last one they would ever have. Seeing him again had shaken her, but she hadn't changed her mind. She wasn't involving anyone unnecessarily in her life this time around. It pained her to think it, but Angel would just have to find another way to atone for his sins.

She was fighting alone from now on.

~o~

Dustin sneered as he lifted the rather sizable rat from where it sat sniffing his bedspread. It squeaked and flailed as he held it by it's tail, dangling in front of his face, before he flung it across the room. Moving what remained of the clan into the sewers was not ideal in his mind, however he didn't want to risk the slayer returning to the warehouse and taking the rest of them out. He would need all the man-power he could find if he was going carry out the plan Angelus had set into motion.

Pacing the tiny alcove he'd claimed as his room he growled in frustration. He'd ordered the minions to begin searching the crypts, but they'd yet to uncover whatever it is that is hidden in the graveyard. The cryptic fashion in which prophecies were written infuriated him, and he wasn't nearly old enough to grasp the ancient expressions and metaphors that were used. He found himself suddenly wishing that their infuriating master was still alive.

Dustin had never been a huge fan of Angelus'. He resented him for seemingly appearing out of nowhere and turning their small clan on their heads, however he did respect that he had other ambitions than simply finding the perfect midnight snack, and he had managed to do the one thing Dustin had hoped for; he united the clan towards a single goal. They no longer simply wanted to terrorize the locals, brag about who had added the most tombstones to the vast graveyard... they saw the potential chaos that could be brought about, and were now salivating at the thought of a Hell on Earth... well, most of them were. There will always be those that don't quite get it.

Dustin's thoughts were interrupted by the echo of footsteps drawing nearer. They were accompanied by the sound of something being dragged along the cement. Finally, a slim redhead vampire appeared before him and threw a small mousy brunette girl down at his feet. Her hands were bound together, and she held them up in front of her face, as if in defense.

"There aren't many in this town Dustin, this was the best I could do." the vampire sighed, crossing her arms across her chest.

"That's alright. Nicely done Chantal." he replied as he crouched next to the girl.

She lowered her hands slowly, and meekly met Dustin's eyes. Her face was streaked with tears, and she cowered away from him.

"You are a witch, correct?" he asked.

She swallowed hard, and cast her eyes to the ground before nodding almost imperceptibly.

"Good." Dustin said, before he rose to stand again, "You're going to cast a little spell for me... if it works, I'll let you live."

~o~

Flashback chapter!
I hope I've begun to shed a little light on why Angel lost his mind when Buffy died, as well as why Buffy's being so overly protective of those around her. I'm not going to explain any more just yet, I'm hoping future chapters will speak for themselves.

Dustin finally reappeared, because I did try to create a plot that was a little more like the tv show... I figured it might be a bit boring if all Buffy was doing was trying to figure out what happened to her and Angel!

This chapter is actually kinda short... I don't know why that bothers me so much, I remember a time when having to write something that was even just 1,000 words seemed like a chore, but I think I'll post another one today!