Dead Inside

Chapter Fourteen

I Own Nothing

Hiccup's P.O.V

A few hours later after I finished eating, I went straight to bed, landing face first into the soft furs. Inhaling the scent on my mother, wrapping the loins of skin around me, feeling the warm embrace of the fire next to me. This felt really nice after a long night of flying, feeling at ease after a long fun night with Toothless.

I had at least four to five hours of sleep before I was awoken by a loud thrash, coming from the other side of the den.

I woke up, slow to get up as I stumbled out of bed. Finding my mother and CloudJumper out side of the den, they looked exhausted and tired, as if they just escaped a fight to the death or something, I rubbed my eyes open, looking at them with worried eyes.

"Mom..." I trailed off as I yawned deeply, walking towards her and her beast."What happened? What's going on?"

She removed her mask, revealing a few cuts on her pale face, giving me a few heavy breaths, I looked over at CloudJumper, he seemed fine, I didn't see any injuries on him.

I gasped."Oh my gods." I rushed over."What happened to you?" I asked looking over the small red cuts on her cheek bone.

She pushed my hand away."It's nothing, I'm fine."

She started to walk over to the fire, taking her armor off, one by one. Revealing a few more wounds on her, nothing life threatening, just a few minor scraps and cuts.

"Mom, for the love of gods just tell me what happened." I said sitting next to her."Please?" I whispered, looking at her with pleading eyes.

She gave me a long sigh."Dragon trappers."

"Wh...what?" I asked her."What do mean by Dragon trappers? I thought people only killed them-"

"There not just Dragon trappers Hiccup." My mother spoke up."These people are using them as for weapons, they use them to kill people." She spoke a bit angered."I finally found one of there hiding spots, so I took them on, freeing over a dozen dragons from there cages."

"Oh my gods." I shook my head."Who are these people you speak of? What do they want?"

"Power." She said,"They use the dragons as weapons, for there own sick demise."

"How to do you know?" I said."How do you know th-"

"I've seen them do it Hiccup." She said sternly."A man uses them for his own sick games, and he almost killed you're father before you were born." She got up to got get something, I could feel her anger as she picked up a rag, placing it on her bloody cheek.

Who was this man she was speaking of? Why dose he use dragons as a weapon? Is he plotting to take over the world or something?

"Do you know who this man is?"

She looked at me grimly. "Drago Bludvist."

I scoffed."Drago what fist?"

"Bludvist." She repeated."That man is nothing but a killer, and will not stop until he gets what he wants."

I looked down at my feet, taking in her words, I have to help her. We need to stop this man, my mother can't do this alone, she'll get killed if I don't help her.

"Let me help you." I looked at her seriously.

She drew her head back at me."What?"

"Let me help you take down these trappers and Drago."

Her jaw dropped a little, she looked at me for a few seconds and finally spoke."Alright."

"Really?" She was gonna teach me how to fight? This was one of the things I dreamed of, learning to fight, learning to defend myself for once. My dad would never do any thing like this, he would always tell me I was to fragile and weak. But now I was going to have the chance to fight!

Then my mother got up."Come."

I jumped up as I followed her outside, I was so excited, I just couldn't wait.

Toothless was outside already, he greeted me with a soft lick to the face. I guess he really wasn't tired after out midnight flight. I go on and told him to take us up, my mother was already up with CloudJumper, waiting for us so we could start our lesson.

When we got up, my mother threw me a large staff, one that was kind of similar like hers, but more light so I could hold it and whirl it around, it had few blades on the edges of it, they looked like the same ones I use to cut myself with. I looked at my mom with a warm smile, trying to hide the pain.

"First I'm going to teach you to fight while flying." She instructed, with one swoop she took out a few hunks of ice while speeding while using her staff, taking the huge things of ice one by one. The chunks of ice weren't that huge, but big enough to show me how much I can take on with one hit.

She stopped as they looked over at us, I patted Toothless head and told him to charge.

The first block of ice didn't go so well. but with the second I pieced through it like butter. The rest were just as easy for me as Toothless's wings beat through the sky. My arms were shaking as I was doing this, the cold ice hit me like little needles as I wacked them all one by one.

I looked over and saw all the now shattered ice, it almost looked like a whole thing of shattered glass as the sun hit it like a butch if diamonds. I then turned my head back towards my mother.

I reached over to my mother, she looked over at my progress, nodding a little, I hope she was pleased with my start.

"Not too bad for a starter." I nodded."A bit more work and you'll get the hang of it." She said softly.

I nodded again, taking in her advise like I should. I have so much more to learn before I can do this. But I can't let her down, she's the only person I have left in this world, the only person that loves me.

After a few more hours of training we finally decided to head in as the sky drew dark again, I doubt I was going to get any sleep, so I might just go on another midnight flight maybe, since my mother won't chew me out. Thank the gods she wasn't strict or hot head like my dad.

I sighed, I need to try and get some rest. Otherwise I won't be ready to take on the Dragon Trappers with mom. I know she usually takes other dragons with her and all, but she's only one person.

A few hours later...

My mom was already fast asleep, snoozing away with CloudJumper wrapping his wings around her. She looked so peaceful, as if she was in a deep slumber. I guess all that training tired her out. I told I wanted to train all night with her, but of course she told me I need more rest, telling me we can practice all day tomorrow.

I sighed, I don't want to wait, I want to do this now so I can be ready to fight. Since my father never taught me and since my mother is resting at this moment, I really didn't have and patients left in me. It was up to me to get a head start. I'm not a little kid anymore, I need to learn fast, or else I'm just dead weight to my mother.

Then an idea popped in my head.

I got up, tiptoeing towards the other side of the den, grabbing my staff as I watch out for the sleep dragons around me.

"Toothless?" I whispered, trying not to wake up the other dragons around me."Where are you?"

Suddenly I had slobber all over my face, I looked up and saw Toothless hanging upside down like a bat, hanging off a chunk of ice. He slowly got him self down as he nuzzled me, I ran my hands all over his tender spot, making him purr even louder.

"Hey bud, do wanna have some fun tonight?" I smiled at him, showing him my buck teeth.

He moaned softly as he told me to get on.

We made it outside, the sky was sparkling as always, with the moon half full and the stars being are light for the night.

"Alright, lets get started." I said.

I decide to start on the ground, looking at this small chunk of ice, it was just as tall as me, but not as big as the previous subjects I had today. I pretend it was a foe or one of my bullies from Berk, as I called it, Hell. I imagined it was my cousin Snotlout.

I whipped the staff, pulling it out in front of me. I lunged towards it, slicing a think slab of the ice, hitting the ground and shattering. I screamed as I stabbed it, pushing it all the way through, this ice wasn't as cold as I thought it was, it must be melting.

I shook my head as I wailed on the ice, taking my fury out on it.

This is for calling me a runt. WHACK!

This for making my life a living Hell! SMASH!

And for making my father favor you more over me! CRACK!

AND THIS IS FOR BEATING ME UP ALMOST EVERYDAY! CRUSH.

Soon enough I was already out of breath, tears were coming out of my eyes as I looked down at the now obliterated ice, slowly turning into slush.

I dropped to my knees as I cried out, holding myself.

But then I felt something warm, I looked up and saw Toothless wrap his wings around, scooping me up in his big black paws, I burst into tears as I wailed into his chest, telling him I was sorry.

After my little sob fest, I pried myself away, wiping my tears away.

"Come on, lets just...go back inside." I choked out as I got on him, making our way inside. I felt really tired after that little beat down, after I blew off some steam, reliving the awful memories was enough for one night, I hated reliving it all, I thought I would be past this by now, I guess not.

I hope I can let this all go sooner or later, if not it will end up killing me in the end, even if I don't mind that at all. Death is still my comfort, my escape. Even causing myself pain makes me feel better, I still haven't talked about it with my mom, I don't know if I can even speak about it to her.

I crawled back to bed, with Toothless huddling next to me as the fire began to die down, my eyes started to drift once more as the world around me faded into bliss.

Later that morning...

I woke up to the soft sound of humming, I opened my eyes and look over and saw my mother making us breakfast over fire.

I yawned as I walked over to her."Morning mom."

She looked over and got up, wrapping her arms around me."Morning love."

I hugged her back, feeling her warm embrace, it felt good.

I was still thinking about last night, about me beating the crap out of that ice, thinking it was my cousin. Thoughts about me cutting myself and my suicide attempt came flooding in my mind, I still haven't told my mother about this, maybe now's the time to tell her now while it's still fresh in my mind.

"Mom." I sat next to her.

"Yes Hiccup?"

I look down at the fire."Can I talk to you about..." I trailed off, not knowing how to say it to her.

She nodded, resting her hand on my knee."it's okay if you're not ready." She cupped my face."Take all the time you need dear." She knew what I wanted to tell her, she knew I wanted to talk about my attempt at ending my own life.

I paused for a few short minutes, I sighed as I put my face in my hands, feeling nothing but shame and regret. All the years of abuse and torment from the other kids, the shame I felt from being a mistake to dad, to him wanting to ship me off like some kind of animal, not wanting me because I'm such a mistake.

Tears started to roll down my cheek, I felt my mom wiping them away.

"It's okay Hiccup." She spoke softly."You're in a safe place now, you don't have to be afraid anymore."

I nodded, taking in her gentle words.

"You've been through a lot haven't you?"

I turned to her."Let me tell you about it."

Okay I redid some of this chapter because I wanted to clear some things up between Val and Hiccup. I took some of you're guys advice and tried to make these to a bit friendlier.

PM and tell me if you like this or not?

Do they see a bit closer now?

Aww poor Hiccup :( she's already been through enough already.

Thanks for the support and review you guys, and thank you to my 115 followers! I hope you enjoyed this and I hope some of you guys can actually comment this time and not leave me hanging...please?

Please tell me if you like the relationship between Hiccup and Toothless so far, is good or is it not enough? Let me know! Also do you like the relationship between her and Valka?

I know I know this fighting practice scene must have sucked major hard core! DX I am never good at writing those at all what so ever.

Please comment and review.

Also on Sunday

Fill me Up With Poison will be up! DragoXFemHiccup check that out when it comes please!