Moment of Weakness - Chapter 14

A/N: Special thanks to SwiftieLovaticGeek whose review made my day. Taking Galinda and Elphie's relationship at the right pace is incredibly important to me so I hope I continue to do it justice.

I am a bit worried about going OOC, especially with Galinda. I feel that the chapters have become much deeper than before, and while I want them to change and mature, I hope the changes are coming across as realistic.

GALINDA

At first I mistook the meaning of the change in Elphie's demeanour. I was extremely positive that I had managed to bring out her sociable side, and felt ecstatic that I had been able to affect her so strongly. Her nose no longer met up with the pages of her novels, replacing those pages with a rather sudden interest in watching me do whatever I was doing. It was rather flattering, really, and I spent much time feeling giddy, similar to how I'd been with Fiyero not so long ago.

But as time passed, I began to notice something. The fire seemed to have died. Her usual wit was gone, her responses were too ordinary, and she was being far too nice to me, all things considered. Little irritants she used to have seemed to slip away. At first I thought this was a good thing because it meant she was accepting me, but after a while, it became out of character. She was letting me have my way all too often, not saying a word if I did something that normally annoyed her. And still, she slunk around with an air of something that had not been there previously. I wasn't sure what, but it was not a happy air.

Then she got a B in a history test and rendered me with no choice but to ask her about it.

'You got a WHAT?' I screeched. 'But Elphie, what about the scholarship? You've got to keep your grades up! You usually never get less than an A! Ephie what's going on? You have to tell me!'

She shrugged and put the offending paper aside. I had never seen her look so defeatist. It was a bit horrifying – usually she was the one defying everyone's expectations, but right now she looked as though she wanted to give up.

And then it hit me. And then I felt stupid for thinking I had been any kind of positive influence on her whatsoever.

'No!' I exclaimed. 'Don't tell me, Elphie! Don't tell me you're not doing the scholarship!'

'Okay then. I won't,' she mumbled.

'You have to! You have to in order to stay at Shiz!'

She didnt respond except to exhale a puff of air. In one second I felt my heart rip out of my chest and panic flood into me. A thousand scary, dizzying scenarios flew through my head – of drowning in loneliness if I was left alone; of friendlessness; of yet further humiliation. They were overwhelmed with an earthquake of betrayal, and yet somehow a layer of calm enveloped me and I stilled in my pleas, giving way to a quiet whimper of hurt.

'You lied to me.'

The guilt on her face was unbearable.

'I'm sorry, Galinda.'

'You said that you would stay.'

'No, you believed that I would. It isn't so simple, you know.'

'Whatever do you mean?'

'Galinda, even if I got a scholarship it wouldn't cover everything,' she responded. 'If I deliberately stayed a Shiz against my father's wishes, I would essentially be disowning myself from my family – including Nessa. Not only would I be betraying her, but where would I go out of term? The streets? It would be entirely impractical to leave my family right now.'

I winced. I hadn't even thought about that. Horrible images of Elphie wandering the streets in the dead of night flashed through my brain. Nightmarish suggestions of her green skin blistering in the rain chanted their words of death, destruction and awful things.

I thought of my parents at home, who loved me. No matter what, they would never put me in such a dreadful predicament. No matter what awful mistakes, or out of control magic displays, I made, they would still support me unconditionally. Elphie's father wouldn't.

For the first time I wondered how the world could be so unfair.

Then do something about it!

'You could live with me.'

The words were out of my mouth before I could think them through. All I noticed was that I needed to give Elphie some kind of option, any option, to stay at Shiz – because I didn't think I would be able to cope if she left. I did not spot the ludicrousness of my words, but of course, Elphaba did.

'You know you can't say things like that,' she responded. 'For one thing it's not up to you, but your parents. And would it really be practical taking in another entire human being?'

My shoulders slumped.

'I guess not.'

Still, I found myself getting very irritated with her. She was giving up her entire education and being stubbornly adamant that there was no other option for her. And I knew how much she thrived on education: she had been topping the class all year long (until now, that is), and was predicted to achieve the top score when she graduated. Yet she talked about it as if none of it mattered, and I couldn't for the life of me understand why!

'I don't understand,' I said again. 'I don't understand how you can just give it up without a fight.'

She had busied herself by taking down the braid in her hair. I watched her long fingers weave through the dark silk tresses, working out the knots until it was a beautiful, long mane.

'To be honest I should have seen it coming,' she said in a low tone.

I balked. 'What in Oz are you talking about?'

'I was lucky to be here at all. I shouldn't have been. If not for Nessarose, I wouldn't be.'

'Whyever not?'

'Because I don't deserve to be.'

Those fingers now no more than fidgeted with her loose strands of hair. I felt my own hands tremble. The atmosphere had suddenly turned dark, much darker than I had ever experienced. I hated it. I wanted to go back into my bubble of pink ignorance, but there was no going back now – I had overcome too much.

Here I stood, staring at the girl I thought was the most deserving of anyone in the whole of Oz to be at Shiz University. Yet her words of self-loathing condemned her to think she was unworthy. It was all so messed up. If anything, I ought to be the undeserving one.

'That's not true.'

'Yes, my sweet, it is.'

'How?' I demanded.

The next words were choked out in a frightening tone.

'Simple. I was born.'

.../...

ELPHABA

I felt exposed.

That someone should ask after my feelings, that someone could so openly declare a thing opposite of what I'd known my entire life...

It was like an unseen fault in an impenetrable armour. I instantly regretted my statement. It was the kind of thing that, once upon a time, I would have balked at the idea of revealing to Galinda Upland, of all people. It was too personal, too dangerous – too complicated for a girl like her to comprehend. Even now, now that she was finally thinking, still she stared at me with a questioning innocence laced with pity.

I silently hoped she would not call me out. It would be a lie for her to tell me I was wrong, because I wasn't, not with everything my life had been. She was thinking more, but she was still clueless and wrapped up in her fairytale lifestyle. For all her sweet words and unending optimisms, she just quite simply didn't get it.

My hope was futile.

'Oh, Elphie,' she said, coming over to my side, though I desperately wanted her to leave the room so I could wallow alone in my troubles. 'Your being born has changed me. I would not be the same without you.'

She crawled onto my bed with me and rested her head in my lap. I stroked her golden locks with a heavy heart. There she was with the marshmallows again: sweet though they were, they were empty of truth to my ears.

'Aren't there prettier things to present your affections to?'

'Recently I have lost my taste for classic beauty.'

I was dazed. I actually really did wonder if I was dreaming. I was convinced I would wake up to Galinda perfecting her creamy locks in the mirror, tweezing a stray brow hair or redoing her mascara as it was only ninety-nine percent perfect the last time. She was a classic beauty, even among the best of that category, I thought. And me...I was the ugly green freak, if I was even lucky enough to acquire a title.

'No you haven't. You still adore all those Ozmopolitan models. Not to mention your own reflection,' I couldn't help quipping.

'Well appearances are important you know!' she retorted, bolting upright, and I smirked. That was better. A hand flew to her mouth. 'Oh, but I didn't mean...Elphie, you...'

I couldn't quite suppress a cackle as I watched her struggle with her words.

'It's okay, my sweet, I know what you meant.'

She sighed and lay back down on my lap.

'Please do the scholarship,' she said. 'I know you think it's pointless and that you'll leave anyway, but just do it. Because you're capable of it. That way you have something to be proud of.'

And I found myself agreeing even though I'd had no intention to do so. Damn that beautiful, blonde hair and all the bubbles in Oz.