Chapter 14: Meet Me by the Water

Chapter soundtrack: "Meet Me By The Water" by Rachael Yamagata. Pull it up on YouTube, it sets the mood for this scene and is just plain beautiful.

Time: The next night, early August 2011

Santana arrived at the reservoir twenty minutes before she had asked Elinor to come. They both loved the reservoir at night. Tonight it was quiet, with no breeze. Santana made sure there were no big pebbles or rocks on the ground at their favorite spot on the bank before laying down a blanket. She lit a hundred little tea light candles in a circle around the blanket and sat in the middle. The scene was set. Elinor was on her way. The only thing that was uncertain was Santana's stomach; she felt it was about to lurch from her throat at any minute. She heard a vintage car motor and tires on the gravel up the bank and thought she might pass out. A car door slammed. Santana took a deep breath. Elinor's shoes made soft crunching sounds as she walked down the bank. The only other noises were the water and the crickets. Elinor slowed her steps as she took in the scene before her. Her face revealed little, which made Santana more nervous.

Santana put on a brave smile. She patted the blanket in front of her, gesturing for Elinor to sit down. Elinor walked over, stepped carefully over the candles and sat down facing Santana, looking between Santana and the candles and the water anxiously.

"Hi," exhaled Santana.

"Hi," said Elinor, still looking around.

"I'm glad you came."

"Well… I figured I should hear you out," said Elinor, with obvious reservation.

"Thanks. I'm not sure I deserve it…" Santana responded, following Elinor's gaze over the water. She took another deep breath and turned back to face Elinor. The candles cast a soft, golden glow over them. Santana was struck by how beautiful Elinor looked in this light, and how sad her eyes looked.

Santana began speaking the words she had gone over in her head twenty times. Her words were choked and breathy: "I asked you here because I want to say- I want to say I'm sorry. I completely freaked out on you the other night… and like ten times before that. It's this same thing I keep doing; I get scared and I become a total bitch and I run."

Elinor was looking at her now, but Santana still couldn't read her expression.

Santana exhaled, trying to relax as she continued: "I don't know how to deal with things that scare me. And you… it's like you have it all figured out. You know how to handle fear. You're showing me that you have to deal with feelings or they don't go away… they just get bigger. And I'm a total beginner when it comes to talking about feelings," Santana admitted. "But I want to try not running or lashing out."

Santana took another deep breath. She looked Elinor straight in the eye, seeing that Elinor was still unsure, but facing that fear. "I have something I want to tell you," Santana murmured. "I know that actions speak louder than words, but I think these words… well, there's nothing I could do instead of saying them. If I could, I would. What I want to say is… I'm a lesbian." Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment before she went on: "I like girls and that's not going to change just because I try to pretend I don't." Elinor's face finally softened with a sad smile.

Santana continued her hushed confession, "I know the fact that I couldn't admit I like girls before made me seem pretty unappealing to you; to any girl, actually. So, the second part is… if you'll have me… I'd like to call you my girlfriend." She was anxious, yet triumphant, exhaling now that her speech was done.

Elinor visibly relaxed. "I'd like that," she said quietly. She leaned forward and gave Santana a hug. "That was really brave," she said into Santana's shoulder. "I'm so proud of you." She pulled back, placing her hands on Santana's shoulders. She kissed Santana gently. Santana smiled into the kiss and put her hands on Elinor's waist. As she pulled away, she kept her eyes closed and exhaled, her whole body relaxing.

"I was afraid I'd chicken out," Santana admitted.

"But you didn't. And I'm really glad," Elinor smiled. She sat back. "I'm liking this whole 'Ring of Fire' thing. It's very… romantic. I'm impressed."

"I guess you're worth impressing," Santana shrugged, looking down at the blanket. She met Elinor's gaze again and smiled. She reached out her hand, hesitantly extending her pinky finger to Elinor. Elinor looked at Santana's outstretched hand.

"Pinkies?" Elinor asked, raising an eyebrow.

Santana shrugged again. It seemed… appropriate.

Elinor took Santana's wrist and opened the palm, placing her hand in Santana's, giving it a soft squeeze. "If you only hold on to someone with your pinky, they can slip away too easily."

Santana felt a shiver run through her.

She refocused her attention on the girl in front of her. "Good to know…" she murmured..

"Well, I don't want you to run off again," Elinor teased with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't want to run off again either," assured Santana. "You make me feel… calm. I mean… I'm saying… I kind of like you," she shrugged, playing casual. "As more than a friend." She gave Elinor a hint of a smile.

"Wow, all this talking about feelings… I'm overwhelmed," Elinor said with a playful smile, leaning in to kiss Santana. "And I kind of like you too. As more than a friend."

Santana smiled and kissed Elinor back. It was short and sweet.

Santana heaved a huge sigh of relief and lay down on the blanket, looking up at the stars. Elinor lay down perpendicular to her, holding her hand and resting her head on Santana's stomach. They lay there quietly, listening to the crickets and the tiny laps of water on the bank. This was a new chapter for Santana. She was lying under the stars with her girlfriend. Her girlfriend. Although a small chill rushed through her at the word, she smiled.

"Go to Pride with me," Santana murmured into the dark. It didn't sound like a question.

"Pride?" Elinor asked in surprise, turning her head towards Santana.

"Yeah. My friends Kurt and Blaine are going to the festival in Columbus in two weeks. I thought it would be fun. We can go and spend the weekend just dancing and partying and being super gay together."

"You would do that?" Elinor was still amazed.

"I told you I was working on dealing with it," Santana muttered.

"I'm impressed. Who would have thought… our little baby lez going to her first Pride. I'm so proud!"

"Don't push it, El," Santana grumbled.

Elinor squeezed Santana's hand. "Ok, Lopez. You got yourself a date."