Struggling to fall asleep, Cara turned and turned on the cold, hard ground, trying to make herself comfortable. It had been two days since she'd slept in a bed, if you could call the mattress at Thaddicus' house that... And according to her estimations, they were another four weeks journey away from Aydindril. With some luck, they might pass through a few villages on their way, although the fastest way would be to cut straight through the forests once again. The thought of this made her even more uncomfortable in her current position.
Since when am I unable to fall asleep on the ground?! Damned be all the prophecies and pregnancies and power-hungry Rahls when this is what a Mord'Sith gets reduced to!
Finally, she gave up trying to fall asleep and sat up. She turned to face the small flames of the campfire Kahlan had built. Kahlan, herself, was already heavily asleep, positioned on the other side of the fire, her back turned towards it, towards Cara. The blonde had grown accustomed to this sight of the Confessor's back turned at her. She had trouble remembering a time when Kahlan hadn't been so withdrawn, when her eyes were not haunted and her lips so deathly pale. She resented herself for not being the company Kahlan needed.
A flash of light flitted across Cara's mind. It was the memory of Kahlan's smile the morning after Cara had been struck by the arrow, and Kahlan had spent hours nursing her wound. Cara recalled that the Confessor had insisted on sleeping next to her that night, to make sure she was warm enough while her wound was still critical. And the following morning, Cara had awoken to the sight of Kahlan's beautiful face, all aglow in the morning light, looking down at her, smiling, and her eyes, so bright. It was the most glorious sight Cara had ever seen and most likely would ever see, she thought to herself despondently while staring at Kahlan's sleeping figure and the minute light that were the fire's flames in the midst of a pitch black forest. What a far cry their reality had turned out to be compared to that moment of pure magic, she thought, head bowed. It might as well have been a dream, so distant and far-removed it appeared to Cara at present, as if it had happened years ago and not only a month prior. What she wouldn't give to see Kahlan happy again, to see her smile, to hear her laugh, or withstand those tormenting instances when the Confessor had tried to befriend her, acting all chummy, much to Cara's chagrin. Cara now missed such moments with all of her aching heart, not for the sake of her feelings for Kahlan, but because of the sad tale that had turned out to be the Mother Confessor's life, when she deserved so infinitely better. It was unbearable seeing Kahlan shrink into a shadow of her former self, and Cara wished that it was she, herself that had died at the Shrine of the Zoria instead of Richard. She only hoped that some of Kahlan's old spirit might recover once they return to Aydindril and she is, once again, among her own people, where she belongs.
Cara shut her eyes.
Darkness.
Silence.
When she opened her eyes next, she saw that the fire had died out. Only the glow of embers survived in the dark of the night. She was about to move forward, to reach with her hand and drop a handful of twigs over the dying embers when a violent flame erupted from the spot, causing her to flinch back, then scramble backwards further as the flames leapt larger than life so close in front of her. Amidst the flames, Shota's features appeared. Cara stared as the witch stared directly back at her. Kahlan didn't stir.
"Cara..." the witch's voice called out to her in a drawn out, unnatural tone.
"What do you want?" Cara replied, shielding her face from the fire's overpowering heat.
"To remind you..." the woman's voice echoed, while her mouth never opened. "You have forgotten the prophecy, and now curse us all to death..."
"What do you mean?" Cara frowned. "I remember the prophecy."
"No... You have forgotten it..." the woman's voice whispered from the depths of the fire, her eyes fixed on the blonde.
"I don't understand... I know the prophecy. I remember it!"
"You do not, Cara," the witch replied. "We will all die..."
"That doesn't make sense..." Cara protested. "What do you mean? What do you want from me?!"
"Cara... Cara..." the woman repeated over and over, less and less audibly.
"What is going on? What more can I do?!"
"Cara..."
"Cara... Cara!" Kahlan's voice startled her. "Cara, it's okay... I think you were having a nightmare."
Bewildered, Cara sat up. She looked about herself. Kahlan knelt by her right side, gripping her by the shoulder. A cosy fire crackled to her other side. A little way away, the horse gently neighed, its reins tied securely to a low branch of a tree.
It took her a moment to come to her senses.
"Here, have some tea," Kahlan said and nudged the other's shoulder with an old wooden cup. "Zedd taught me this recipe. It's from dandelion root and peppermint. It purifies the kidneys, and soothes the stomach, which... I think will be good for you."
"I am fine, Kahlan," Cara meekly protested, tentatively accepting the cup into a gloved hand. "I don't need you to coddle me."
"I'm just trying to make sure—"
"'—That the baby is alright,'" Cara interrupted, peering into the shiny dark liquid. "I know."
"—That you won't throw up on me again," Kahlan corrected, a small smile passing over her features. "The last time it took me forever to clean my dress. At this rate, it'll be months before we reach Aydindril."
"Sorry," Cara replied, her tone hard.
"Cara, I was just kidding — I don't care about that," Kahlan turned serious when she saw the girl didn't share her amusement. "But yes, I am making you drink the tea because I am worried about both you and the baby. You've barely had anything to eat... And the little that you have-"
"You should get some sleep, Kahlan," Cara interrupted again. "I'll keep watch for once."
"No," Kahlan stated firmly. "You need all the rest you can get. We still have a very long journey ahead of us."
As she spoke, Cara saw that something about her seemed a little odd. She looked at Kahlan more closely and realised that the woman's skin, her hands, her neck and even her face, had a strange colour about them, as though they were covered in rose-tinted paint.
Noticing Cara's abrupt confusion, Kahlan looked down at her own hands.
"It's the second Blood Moon," she said lowly, her look suddenly fallen. "It's been twenty-eight days."
Alarmed, Cara's eyes shot up. Peaking above the treetops, directly above them, the red moon ominously glared as though aware of the emblem it had become. Cara's heart shot off, expecting calamity to befall them at any moment... But the forest remained calm, sleeping. No sign of impending danger appeared.
Apprehensively, Cara looked to Kahlan, trying to read her expression, while the Confessor's demeanour shifted entirely. It seemed that the little spirit she had recovered had suddenly abandoned her altogether at this painful reminder that loomed overhead. She briefly met Cara's gaze, her eyes mournful, more openly so than what had become her constricted usual. She sat down beside the Mord'Sith, facing the fire, and hugged her knees as though she were all alone in the world.
"There is nothing that the second moon could bring that the first hadn't already," she whispered.
Her breath left a misty trail in the cold air like the stain that marked her heart. And there it was, all of the anguish that Kahlan had tried so meticulously to hide in front of Cara, spilling out when her guard came down.
Cara's look crumbled. Her heart ached.
"I am so sorry... Kahlan," she whispered, looking away, just about choking on the words.
Kahlan nodded and briskly wiped a tear from the side of her cheek. She stared into the fire.
Out of the corner of her eye, Cara regarded her. There was so much more she felt beyond the sorrow and the guilt, which she would never dare to put into words again. What she didn't count on however, was that the sight of Kahlan, so sad and so close to her, would have such a disarming effect on her, that it would override even the most hardset of resolves to keep her distance, and that, without even thinking about it, or permitting it, her hand would move from the cup she held over her lap to gently land on Kahlan's shoulder. And that by the time she'd realise what she had done, it would be too late to undo it. The only thing she could do now is will this into being a gesture of a friend, and no more. Besides, Kahlan didn't seem to care, she told herself. There were other, more important things on her mind. Cara had felt her stiffen a little at her touch, and assumed this to be out of awkwardness in knowing Cara's feelings for her. And, well... Since she did kiss her that one time. What she failed to notice, however, what she couldn't have known, was how Kahlan's pulse quickened, how her breath turned flighty, suspended almost altogether by Cara's simple gesture, and all of her fortitude, crumbling to ruin. So when in a moment Kahlan gave in and leaned to her side, resting her head on Cara's shoulder, to gain some emotional respite, to exhale and catch her breath, to grant freedom to the tears that had been pressing on her just beyond the surface, Cara's eyes turned wide from surprise and she froze in the spot.
Is this what... friends... do? This must be what friends do... Or Kahlan wouldn't do it, she thought to herself, shifting her eyes from side to side, and not a muscle more.
But when tear after tear spilled out of Kahlan's eyes and she silently erased each one just as she did the previous, Cara's apprehensions, including all thoughts of Shota and the dream, became replaced by the overwhelming urge to be there for Kahlan, to make this easier on her somehow, as a friend or whatever else in the world she needed.
Once again, her arm moved, wrapping more securely around the other's shoulder, bringing her in closer, needing to make her feel safer. They sat like this in silence, so close side by side, by the fire, while night crickets called to each other and the wind gently swayed branches and rustled through leaves illuminated in pink light.
There was nothing to be said, nothing to be done after all that had happened to the both of them, when all they had left in the world was the person sitting next to them and from here on in, the entire world, to be saved or doomed to what would come in the future.
~
"Don't forget to finish your tea," Kahlan reminded, arching her eyebrows.
She pointed the wooden cup at the glaring Mord'Sith, who tentatively walked over to her then snatched the cup into her own hands. Cara chugged back the tea and half hated that it did actually make her feel better. Her mind was calmer and her stomach less disturbed whenever she drank the concoction, though she would never admit it out loud. She refused to give the Confessor the satisfaction, lest she used this as ammunition to force other things down her throat. Although... By the way Kahlan appeared to be stifling a smile this morning, she probably already knew as much.
A strange feeling stirred inside Cara's stomach, one that was nauseating in a different kind of way to the actual nausea that had been bugging her. And she realised, it's because of Kahlan. Kahlan had almost smiled. The sun was shining softly in the woods and Kahlan had almost smiled... At her. And this sickening feeling must be what happiness feels like, Cara thought, dismayed.
"What is it?" Kahlan asked, her expression serious now. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Nothing," Cara shook her head and looked away.
Get it together, Cara!
"I know of a little village East-North from here," Kahlan continued, packing their belongings into her backpack. "If we hurry a little, I think we can get there by nightfall."
Cara nodded, finished off the tea, then copied Kahlan, packing away the cup among other things. But once they had strapped all of their belongings to the horse and were about to saddle him, the sun's light broke free entirely from behind a cloud, radiating through the branches more strongly, reminding Cara of last night's moon, and the dream she'd had before Kahlan woke her up.
You have forgotten the prophecy, and now curse us all to death.
Cara faltered, all colour draining from her face.
"What is it?" Kahlan asked, puzzled when Cara did not make a move to climb on the horse but stood rooted to the spot for no apparent reason.
For a moment, the blonde deliberated whether to mention the dream to Kahlan at all. If anything, last night proved that such reminders are still too much, too soon for the Confessor. Cara did not want to make it any harder for her than it already was. Especially since Kahlan seemed to be in a lighter mood this morning, which certainly was a first since the Shrine.
On the other hand... It couldn't have been a coincidence that she would dream of the witch on the night of the second Blood Moon. Maybe it wasn't a dream at all. And maybe she really had neglected a part of the prophecy, as the witch suggested.
"What do you remember of the prophecy?" she asked, annoyed for having no choice but to go down this route for the sake of greater good.
"What do you mean?" Kahlan blinked at her, holding onto the horses' reins, trying to steady him.
"Do you remember the exact words Shota used when she told us about it?"
"I think so..." the woman replied. "I've repeated them in my head often enough," she smirked then spoke automatically, as though not herself, "'The Mother Confessor will conceive a child, one single child in all of her life, who will shape the fate of all Confessors to come, all Seekers to come, and all of the world. The child will be touched by the four forces and will be the master of all four. He will be Seeker, Confessor, Wizard and Lord, and will usher in a time of peace across the lands.'"
Cara stared at her as she spoke, an unsettling feeling troubling her.
"'But only if he is raised by the woman he is born to, for only SHE will be able to understand his darkness, and through it, reach his light.'"
Kahlan stared back at Cara now, her mouth slightly open, as if there was more to say.
Because only she will be able to save him, to teach him of love, if she, herself becomes open to... Love.
The words echoed in Kahlan's mind but she found herself unable to say them out loud. Something prevented her from uttering them in front of Cara, something that had been squeezing, choking at her throat, at her heart, for a while, without her knowing. And suddenly, in a single moment of clarity for which she was utterly unprepared, everything came full circle in her mind, like pieces of a puzzle falling into place. Kahlan understood, and was left speechless... And yet, she could barely reconcile herself with it. Everything was spinning around her. Her heart raced.
She stared at Cara and Cara stared back.
"What is it?" the Mord'Sith grew concerned.
"It's just... It-it makes so much sense now," she whispered.
"What does?"
"That it was you, this whole time..." her voice quivered.
Cara stared at her wide-eyed. Something in Kahlan's eyes, in Kahlan's voice spoke of more than just what was in her words. It held Cara spell-bound.
Kahlan gulped. Her eyes fluttered.
"That Shota was talking about you," she corrected herself, breaking the spell. "You know what it's like to come to the edge of darkness, then turn back and use your power and your strength for good. You've done it yourself... And you will teach him the same, one day."
Cara looked away.
"Yes, I've kind of gathered that much," she grumbled and turned to climb on the horse, dismissing the lingering effect the dream had had on her.