Chapter 14

Note: I'm sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter up, but I've been busy with finals and moving and all that other fun stuff. I've left you hanging for long enough, here's chapter 14!

Rachel

I slowly followed him inside and closed the door. I saw Tobias walk into the living room and pick something up off the coffee table. Then he proceeded to make his way through the living room and out the other side as I tentatively followed behind.

When we made it to the sliding glass door leading to the back porch he quickly slid it open and stepped outside again. I wasn't far behind as I stepped through it and closed it behind me.

So there we both were, standing on the porch. Neither one of us looked all that presentable to the public, yet we were both out in the open for everyone to see. I really hadn't thought about it until now, but I was starting to grow a bit worried about what Tobias had in store for me. I had never seen him that angry before so I had no idea what he might do. My thoughts ranged from something mild to a few things that I would never believe Tobias was capable of doing. But to be honest I really didn't know what Tobias was capable of anymore. I gave a questioning look to Tobias after a brief moment of both of us just standing there. As if he read my mind, he gave me my first instruction.

"Morph," was all he said.

I was a bit confused to say the least. I had expected a whole slew of things that he could've said, but morph wasn't one of them. Where he was going with this I wasn't sure, but I did see a chance to get on his good side. I decided to give it a shot.

"But Tobias," I began, trying to sound as sweet and sincere as I could, "I promised you that I would never morph again." The moment those words left my mouth I knew I had said the wrong thing.

"Bullcrap!" Tobias yelled back at me, making me take a step back, "I've seen you morph half-a-dozen times at least! Don't try and pull that crap on me!"

Not only did I not make myself look good, I made myself look even worse. It was true that I had morphed a few times since Tobias and I got married, but it was usually just out of habit; I never really meant to do it. The first time Tobias had caught me was only a few months after our honeymoon was over. That led to our first and most intense fight yet, well, up until now anyway. But after a day or two we both finally started to come around and we made up. I had morphed a few times after that, but I never thought Tobias had seen me again. It wasn't like I was trying to break my promise to him; it was just that I was really used to morphing by now and it just sort of happened almost naturally. But now I was about to do it again, right in front of him.

I knew there was nothing that I could say to make the current situation any better so I decided to forget about it and move on. "Morph into what?" I asked with a defeated tone in my voice.

"Doesn't matter," Tobias replied quickly. Now I was really starting to get worried. If he had something specifically planned then he should've had a specific morph he wanted me to use. But since he just wanted me to morph I had absolutely no idea what he could've been planning.

I thought about it for a second and finally decided on what I was going to morph into. The female red-tail I had acquired for our wedding was my first choice, but since my comment hadn't worked out like I had planned I was a little weary of that morph backfiring as well. And there was a possibility of the same thing happening with my Eagle morph. So, that left me with one other basic option.

I began to walk down the stairs of the deck and onto the back lawn while the changes began. I was going to be getting a bit heavy, so I didn't want to possibly damage the deck. By the time I reached the bottom it was already getting hard to walk. I ended up tipping over onto my front paws just as they became strong enough to support me. My body was already covered with hair at that moment so I just had to gain a bit more mass and have my face rearrange itself before I would be finished.

Once the final changes had taken place I turned around to look back at Tobias through my bear's eyes. He was busy fiddling with the thing he'd picked up in the living room, but he finished soon enough. He placed whatever it was behind him on the patio table we had on our porch and he turned to look at me.

After an awkward moment of silence I called out to him, So, what do you want me to do now Tobias?

He moved out of the way of the object as he sat down in a chair. "Now, we wait," he said as I managed to catch a glimpse of what he had been hiding. It was a digital clock and the LED's were like lasers to my bear eyes. I could see everything all too clearly when the numbers changed from 2:00 to 1:59.

It took me a little bit to figure out what was really going on, but once I did I was terrified. Oh, no, I said in horror, Oh, no, no, no, no. Are you crazy Tobias? I can't do this!

"This is the only way to prove that you're truly sorry," he said back in an oddly calm tone. "This way you'll prove that you're willing to give up everything just to be with me, just like I did with you."

But Tobias, I pleaded, this is crazy! Just step back and think about this for a second.

"I have been thinking," he struck back. I could hear the anger start to make its way back into his voice. "I've had more than an entire week to think about it since you decided to leave. And this is the only thing that could prove to me that you truly want me back. You did say that you would do anything."

Yeah, I said in defense. I hadn't really meant it literally. It was more of just something you're supposed to say in my situation. But now it was coming back to bite me. But this is just crazy Tobias. I can't do it. And with that I began to demorph.

Tobias looked very sternly at me when I started to demorph and said, "If you don't want to do this for me then you can just leave."

There was something about the way he said it that made me realize he wasn't joking around. I froze right in the middle of demorphing and began to think. There was no way I could actually become a bear nothlit, but there was no way I could leave Tobias either. He had meant what he said now, but two hours was a long time. Maybe he'd reconsider eventually. I mean, he couldn't possibly want to be married to a bear, could he?

So my only option was to wait it out and try and convince him later. He was probably just acting on an impulse now, so in an hour or so he'd have to see what he was really doing. I reversed my morph and went completely back to being a bear. I didn't have anything to say back to Tobias at this point, so I just plopped down on the soft grass and waited.

A half-hour slowly turned into an hour which even slowly turned into an hour and a half. All the while I lay there, trying to choose my argument and hoping that Tobias would realize what he was really doing. When the clock hit 0:15 I couldn't wait any longer.

Tobias, I started, breaking the long silence between us, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that's happened over the past week and everything that's lead up to it. I know that you're mad at me and you have every right to be, but I'm asking you to reconsider this whole nothlit thing. I know that you feel like this is what I did to you, but this is different. You were born a human and were just living the life of a hawk. To go back to being human was only natural to you. I know you liked being a hawk, but that wasn't who you truly were.

But what you're trying to make me do isn't natural at all. I wasn't born a bear, so trying to make me become a bear nothlit is different. I know that you're doing this to make a point, but I can honestly say that I understand what you're trying to do. I know it doesn't seem like I gave up very much to be with you but I have. Marriage is a balancing act between what both people want and I've given as much as I could to make you happy. Look, I know I've screwed up and I know I deserved to be punished, but this is a little extreme. Look down deep in yourself and see if this is what you truly want. Because if I do become a nothlit things will definitely change, and most of that change will be for the worst.

Well, that was my speech. I had put a lot of time into crafting it and it was my last hope of being able to stay a human. I could only hope that Tobias had enough time to realize what he was doing.

"You have no idea what I gave up for you," was his response. That was one of the last things I wanted to hear. "I gave up my entire life! Everything I enjoyed about my hawk life was gone. No more soaring, no more diving, no more riding the thermals; they were all gone. And they weren't gone until I felt like bringing them back every now and then, they were gone forever! No matter how much I try I will never get to do any of that again. And now you think that just by spending close to two hours in a morph it'll give you enough insight into how I feel?"

I never knew he felt so strongly about it before. I was pretty sure that he missed being a hawk at least a little bit, but I never would've imagined he missed it as much as he seemed to. But I wasn't going to give up yet. I hadn't stayed alive this long by giving up.

But Tobias, I said, trying to change the subject a bit, you'll be married to a bear. A MALE bear. Just think about the consequences of what you're doing.

"It doesn't matter to me what you are on the outside," Tobias said sounding incredibly sincere, "it's what you are on the inside that matters. I just wish that both of us shared the same view. If that was the case then we might not be in this situation."

He took a cheap shot at me and it hurt, but I couldn't deny what he said. Although I didn't think that becoming a bear wouldn't affect him at all he made it sound like it wouldn't. I was running out of arguments.

But what about me? I asked in desperation, how am I going to live as a bear? Where will I sleep? What will I eat? What would I do? I mean, I couldn't even go inside the house because I'd be too big!

Responding calmly Tobias just said, "We'll figure it out."

This was crazy! I couldn't be doing this! I shouldn't be doing this! I looked over at the clock and noticed that there were just a few minutes left. That's when I really began to get crazy.

I began pacing while I pleaded with Tobias to reconsider. But everything I said he had a counter argument for and I could never make any progress. I couldn't believe it! He was forcing me to become a nothlit! He must have gone insane! I couldn't do this! I would never survive being a bear!

But then a thought hit me. Why WAS I doing this? It's wasn't like Tobias had a gun to my head or anything. I could demorph and then try and talk things out with him. Yeah, that's what I'd do! Why hadn't I thought about that earlier?

So, as quickly as I could I began to demorph. As I felt the changes begin I looked up at the clock to see how much time I had left. To my horror it read 0:01. I had less than a minute left. I couldn't demorph that fast! I had already run out of time.

To save myself from becoming a half-bear half-human monstrosity I stopped demorphing and reversed the changes yet again. Just as the last of my changes were finishing up the clock changed to 0:00.

Tobias

Without even looking back I made my way to the living room. I had been working on a little something in my spare time and it finally came time to use it. I walked over to the coffee table and picked up my battery-powered digital clock along with my watch just to be sure. Then I started to make my way to the back door without even looking back to see if Rachel was following me. I knew she would be.

Once I reached the door I yanked it open and stepped outside onto the deck. Following close behind was Rachel who stepped through the door carefully and shyly, closing it behind her.

We stood there for a moment in silence. My plan was working so far, but I was having trouble putting the next phase into action. This would be the hardest part for me.

I looked over to Rachel who was giving me a "well, what now?" look. It was then that I felt the word pop out of my mouth. "Morph,"

She looked a bit confused for a second before trying to wiggle her way out of what she probably didn't know yet.

"But Tobias," she said, trying to sound as sweet and sincere as she could, "I promised you that I would never morph again."

I have no idea why, but I was enraged by that comment. She couldn't have forgotten that fight we had when I came back from college and she was demorphing in the middle of the yard, could she? If she had forgotten that then I wasn't sure she was being sincere with me about wanting me back. That was our biggest fight and one that almost ruined our marriage right from the start! And now she didn't even remember it? What else didn't she remember, our wedding day?

"Bullcrap!" I yelled back at her, making her take a defensive step back. "I've seen you morph half-a-dozen times at least! Don't try and pull that crap on me!"

I even surprised myself at how angry that came out. I was mad, but I really wasn't THAT mad. I really had seen her morph a few other times, although half-a-dozen was stretching it. The first time really hurt me because she had broken her promise to me, but each time I saw her afterwards I felt less and less strongly about it. I mean, it would've taken a lot of willpower never to morph again if you knew that you could. And sometimes, like Rachel had said after the first time I'd seen her, it probably just sort of happened. I couldn't really blame her for that. I knew that if I were in Rachel's place I probably would've done the same thing, so whenever I saw her morphing again I kept quiet about it. I didn't want to have another argument like we had before; that one was too intense.

"Morph into what?" I heard Rachel say, snapping me out of my daydream.

"Doesn't matter," I quickly replied.

She looked more confused than she did before, but eventually she turned away from me and began walking down the deck stairs; all the while she was changing.

There were a few morphs I had expected her to choose. The first one I thought she might do was the red-tailed hawk she'd acquired for our wedding to try and get on my good side again, but after her comment that went awry I wasn't sure if she was going to take that chance again. I guess the same could've been said about her Eagle morph as well. That only left one morph. And when I saw her ears begin to climb up her head I knew what she had chosen. She was morphing into a grizzly.

But I didn't have time to watch her morph fully; I had my own stuff to take care of. I quickly strapped on the watch to my wrist as I began to play with the clock. After a few adjustments and button pushes it was ready to go. I synchronized it to my watch and pushed both of the start buttons at the same time. I wanted to get a really accurate reading.

Once I finally finished my preparations I put the clock down on the table behind me as I turned around to see a fully morphed Rachel.

We just stared at each other for a moment or two before Rachel finally got the guts to say, So, what do you want me to do now Tobias?

I moved out of her line of sight of the clock and sat down in a chair. "Now, we wait," I said as I positioned the clock so we could both see it change from 2:00 to 1:59.

Grizzly bears don't really have facial expressions, but I swore that I could tell when Rachel finally figured it out. Oh, no, she said in horror, Oh, no, no, no, no. Are you crazy Tobias? I can't do this!

"This is the only way to prove that you're truly sorry," I said back calmly. "This way you'll prove that you're willing to give up everything just to be with me, just like I did with you."

But Tobias, she pleaded, this is crazy! Just step back and think about this for a second.

"I have been thinking," I said back while feeling my anger towards Rachel slowly returning, "I've had more than an entire week to think about it since you decided to leave. And this is the only thing that could prove to me that you truly want me back. You did say that you would do anything."

Yeah, she said weakly in defense, but this is just crazy Tobias. I can't do it. And once she said those words she began to demorph.

I thought this might happen. She might have thought that I was just playing around; that I was just trying to make her feel bad for leaving me. Well, that was surely a part of it, but the main reason I was doing this was to prove to myself and to Rachel that she really wanted to get back together with me. I wasn't fooling around; I was being 100 serious. So I said what I had been hoping I didn't have to say. "If you don't want to do this for me then you can just leave."

I saw Rachel freeze instantly. It hurt me to say it just as much as it appeared to hurt her, but I needed to know. If she didn't prove to me that she wanted me back now what was going to stop her the next time someone "better" than me showed up? If she wanted to be married to me she'd have to show me.

She was frozen in the quarter-human-three-halves-bear state for a while before she silently began to remorph back into the bear. Inside I couldn't have been happier. I knew beforehand that this was going to be one of the points of greatest resistance, but Rachel hadn't left and was still willing to continue. I could never show anything on the outside since it'd ruin whatever authority I had come to have in this situation, but inside I was jumping for joy. So, on the outside I continued my standard partly angry and partly confident and dominating attitude as I leaned back in my chair and got prepared to sit for the next two hours.

A half-hour slowly turned into an hour which even slowly turned into an hour and a half. I continued to sit there either staring at the clock or staring at Rachel while there was a dead silence between us. But I knew that it wouldn't be the end of Rachel's fight to stay a human though. And when the clock hit 0:15 she began.

Tobias, she started, breaking the long silence between us, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that's happened over the past week and everything that's lead up to it. I know that you're mad at me and you have every right to be, but I'm asking you to reconsider this whole nothlit thing. I know that you feel like this is what I did to you, but this is different. You were born a human and were just living the life of a hawk. To go back to being human was only natural to you. I know you liked being a hawk, but that wasn't who you truly were.

But what you're trying to make me do isn't natural at all. I wasn't born a bear, so trying to make me become a bear nothlit is different. I know that you're doing this to make a point, but I can honestly say that I understand what you're trying to do. I know it doesn't seem like I gave up very much to be with you but I have. Marriage is a balancing act between what both people want and I've given as much as I could to make you happy. I know I've screwed up and I know I deserved to be punished, but this is a little extreme. Look down deep in yourself and see if this is what you truly want. Because if I do become a nothlit things will definitely change, and most of that change will be for the worst.

Well, I had to give her credit, she had put some serious thought into her little speech and it sounded pretty good. But I hadn't been just sitting there and letting my mind wonder either, I was thinking about what she might say to try and get out of her situation. But I didn't really need all that planning. When I heard her say something in particular my mind instantly knew how to counter it.

"You have no idea what I gave up for you," I said, surprising even myself at how harsh it had come out. "I gave up my entire life! Everything I enjoyed about my hawk life was gone. No more soaring, no more diving, no more riding the thermals; they were all gone. And they weren't gone until I felt like bringing them back every now and then, they were gone forever! No matter how much I try I will never get to do any of that again. And now you think that just by spending close to two hours in a morph it'll give you some insight into how I feel?"

I had to take a step back and refocus myself after that. I had never meant for it to come out like that, but it was like something inside me was begging to get out and it finally exploded. I missed being a hawk sometimes, but I had never really thought about it that harshly before. But maybe that was how I really felt deep inside, I didn't know. I had too many emotions running around in my head at the moment, so I had no idea what triggered it exactly. And I didn't have much time to think about it either since Rachel was ready with a comeback.

But Tobias, she said, sounding like she had been reduced to pleading, you'll be married to a bear. A MALE bear. Just think about the consequences of what you're doing.

"It doesn't matter to me what you are on the outside," I said back without even thinking about it, "its what you are on the inside that matters. I just wish that both of us shared the same view. If that was the case then we might not be in this situation."

Ouch. That hurt me as well. I never imagined that I'd be telling Rachel stuff like this, but I knew it's what I needed to do. I wanted her to prove to me that she loved me more than anything, and I was ready to go to any length to make it happen.

But what about me? she asked in desperation, how am I going to live as a bear? Where will I sleep? What will I eat? What would I do? I mean, I couldn't even go inside the house because I'd be too big!

Responding calmly for once, I just said, "We'll figure it out."

It was around that point that Rachel started to make less and less sense. And within the last few minutes she stopped making sense at all. I couldn't say that I didn't expect this, but when there's a real life person there in front of you it's a lot different than just playing the scenario out inside your mind. But I had one goal. I needed to see if Rachel would do for me what I did for her; forever proving to me that she loved me just as much as I loved her. I needed to keep up my act for just a little bit longer. And with Rachel running out of arguments it was becoming easier and easier to respond.

When the clock changed from 0:02 to 0:01 I knew it was over, but Rachel didn't see the time until later. Over the last minute or two it looked to me like Rachel was about to literally go insane. She had stopped pacing and just stood in once spot, staring out at the fence surrounding our back yard with an empty gaze. But eventually I saw her gather herself back up again and get her mind back together. And to my horror she started to demorph.

On the outside I had to keep up my appearance, but on the inside I was screaming at her to stop. She was so close to the time limit. She was so close to proving to me that she loved me. I was so close to forgiving her for everything she'd done. And she was about to ruin everything.

I had no idea what was going on in her head at that moment, but to my surprise something wonderful happened. Once she got to the point of being about a quarter human again she stopped morphing. I clenched the arm rests of the chair I was sitting in tightly in suspense as she just sat there in that form for what seemed like an eternity. But eventually I could see her human traits start to fade away as she reversed her morph back to completely being a bear.

I was so excited that I couldn't hold it in anymore. I clenched one of my fists together and pumped it in front of my chest while quietly whispering, "Yes! Come on Rachel! You can do it!" And just as she made it back to being 100 fully grizzly bear I heard the alarm go off on the clock signifying that it had reached 0:00.